by Amanda Cuff
In the end, she promised everything would be perfect, but for some reason, I still have nerves racing through me as I drive Addison to my parents’ house.
“You okay?” she asks. “You’re acting really weird.” Her smile is small, tipped up in just one corner, and her brow is wrinkled in confusion. She’s adorable.
“No, I’m not,” I respond, adjusting in my seat.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not. You are.”
“Oh, are you rubber too?” She laughs.
“Huh?” I ask, looking to my left before turning right down my parents’ street.
“I’m rubber, you’re glue?” She throws her hands in the air when I give her a blank look. “You know what? Never mind!”
I send her a sheepish grin and turn back to the road. Luckily, our drive is quick and I don’t have to spend long assuring her that everything is fine. I usher her up the front steps then swing the front door and step out of the way.
“Surprise!” screeches Willow, jumping out from behind the couch where Emily is sitting.
My parents and Indira hurry into the room, my mother chastising me for not texting when we arrived like I promised I would.
Oops.
Once Addison’s shock wears off, she puts on the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen on her face. When she sends it my way, I don’t have any choice but to pull her to me and place my lips on hers. She giggles against me and suddenly, all the mundane planning and meticulous details were well worth the effort.
When we pull apart, my parents are there, my mother leaning in to hug Addison and my dad patting me on the back with a grin.
“’Bout time you showed up,” my father says. “She’s been hiding behind that couch waiting for you for forty minutes now.”
“Because it was a surprise!” Willow laughs, bouncing up and down in excitement.
“She’s had a lot of lemonade,” my mother whispers to me before turning to my much prettier half. “Oh, Addison, you look so beautiful!”
“Thank you so much, Janice. I can’t believe you did all this!”
Before we walked in, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible for Addison to be any more perfect in my eyes. But seeing her with my mother, tears wetting her eyes, nothing but gratitude and love between them, I’m struck again by how damn much this woman means to me.
“Nope, it wasn’t us,” my mother replies. “This was all Emily and Chase.”
Addison’s jaw drops for just a second before she rights that gorgeous grin back on her face. She plants a kiss to my cheek and a whispered thank you to my ear before excusing herself and walking over to the couch to Emily and Willow. I stand there for a few minutes, watching the three of them talking and laughing like it hasn’t been just a few hours since they’ve seen one another.
I head into the kitchen where Indira is finishing up plating a plethora of treats. The kitchen island is dressed up in a shimmery, white tablecloth, the flower arrangements Emily lost sleep over, and little plates piled high with desserts.
“You did great with this menu, Chase, but couldn’t you have, I dunno…narrowed it down by a few items?” Indira laughs and comes in for a hug, being careful not to touch me with the bag of icing she’s using to top the scones.
“I’m not good under pressure.” I grab a cucumber off the veggie tray and dip it into the bowl in the middle of the group.
Before I can steal any of the other goodies, there’s a loud knock on my parents’ door. Not just any knock either, but the specialized knock Drake insisted was necessary when he showed up to the party. I look over at Addison and snort at her confusion.
“Drake,” I tell her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the door with me. Before I open it, I rest my back against the hard wood and pin her with a smile. “I feel like something’s missing,” I say, while tapping my chin.
Addison raises her eyebrows and looks around the room. The kitchen island stacked with snacks, the dining room table covered in presents, even the blue, IT’S A BOY balloons attached to the furniture and floating in the air.
“What’s a baby shower without a best friend?” I step aside and swing the thick door open, turning to find Drake’s goofy mug front and center in our view. “Get the hell out of the way, Drake!” I holler at him. I turn back to Addison with an apologetic smile while Drake cackles obnoxiously behind me.
Her grin is confused, like maybe she thinks the two of us are losing our minds, but I can see the moment Olivia pops into view by the transformation on her face. She gasps as Olivia squeals, running up the steps and straight into Addison’s arms.
How the hell does Olivia get around so quickly in those spiky heels of hers?
“How was the drive, man?” I ask Drake.
“Just dandy,” he says with a smirk, thumping my shoulder as he walks by me and zeroes in on the food.
“Oh my god, Olivia!” Addison says. “I can’t believe you’re here!”
“Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s not every day I get to celebrate my best friend and her baby!” Olivia pulls back slightly, looking down at Addison’s ever-growing bump. “How do you look this damn good pregnant? It’s not fair.”
Addison laughs and rolls her eyes, but I can see she appreciates Olivia’s kind words.
“Okay, I can only stay for the day before I’m on a flight back home tonight, but I promise I’ll stay longer when he’s born!”
“Oh, Olivia!” Addison’s eyes fill with tears as she brings her in close for a hug.
Just then, my mother pops back in the room, greeting Olivia before ushering us all into the kitchen. She doles out the shiny blue, five-compartment paper plates I spent forever searching for online. Once bellies are full and spirits are high, Emily demands that it’s time for presents.
When I say she really did think of everything, I’m not exaggerating. Willow and Drake disappear into the guest room and pull out two decorated dining room chairs. Each one is topped with a balloon of a baby in a diaper and a banner labeled Mom and Dad on our respective chairs. Addison’s grin lights up at the spectacle.
Presents are handed her way and she laughs and smiles and thanks everyone as she tears into them. Even Willow gets in on the action a few times; and despite being in double digits, she seems to find baby toys way more entertaining than she should.
When it comes time for Addison to open Drake’s gift, he sits back on the couch, arms spread wide like the cocky little shit he is. Emily gave him explicit instructions on what to get—a Sit-Me-Up seat and a play mat—which I’m guessing he followed by the weak high-five she gives him.
Suddenly, Olivia speaks up, pulling a checkbook out of her purse and scratching on it with her pen. “I didn’t have time to pick out a gift and, frankly, I have no clue what a baby would need anyway, so here’s a check. Buy him something really cute and awesome and tell him it’s from Aunt Olivia.”
When we’re down to one last present, Addison hesitates. “There’s no name,” she says.
Willow hurries back over to her side. “It’s from me and my mom,” she replies, smiling over at Emily with pride.
On shaky arms, Emily pulls herself a little higher in her seat, a smile that matches Willow’s dancing on her face.
Addison pulls out the white tissue paper and hands it to me before digging deeper into the bag. When her hand reappears, she’s holding a familiar piece of fabric—a crocheted blanket of thick, intertwined blue and pink yarn.
“It’s my baby blanket,” Willow says, a smile wide on her face.
“Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful.” Addison looks down at her from her elevated seat and leans down to hug her. When she pulls back up, her eyes are watery, her smile shaky on her cheeks. “This is so special, Willow. Thank you.” She pauses, clearing her throat and wiping at the tears rolling down her eyes. “All of you. Thank you for being here and for loving this baby. We’re so lucky to have all of you.”
I reach my hand out to rest on her stomach and she smiles at me,
placing her hand over mine.
I look out over the smiling faces in the room—Addison, our best friends, my parents, and my daughter. In this room are the eight people that mean the most to me—well, nine if you count my son—and it was everything that Addison deserved and more.
The room is alive with words and laughter, but I hold my eyes on Emily until she looks over at me. Despite the tears rolling down her face, she looks at peace.
Thank you, I mouth to her.
As much as Emily needed this baby shower to focus on, I think Addison might have needed the surprise even more. Thankfully, Emily saw that when I wasn’t able to.
21
Addison
“You’re staring,” I tell Drake, handing him a red plastic cup full of lemonade and settling down into the Adirondack chair beside his. I follow his gaze across the lawn and over to…Olivia’s ass?
The lip he’s been chewing on pops out from between his teeth. “She’s so fucking gorgeous. And she wants nothing to do with me. I don’t understand it.” He rubs his brow and turns to me, frowning at me like I have the answers written on my forehead.
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re perplexed that she’s not interested in you?”
“No, it’s not like that.” He shakes his head and wags his finger near my face. “She’s interested, trust me. Every once in a while, she lets that hard exterior slide and I get to see her flirty side. I know she’s interested. She just won’t act on it.”
He looks so sad and pitiful that I actually feel sorry for him. “Don’t take it personal, she’s hard to get close to. Give it time.”
“I’ve been trying to, but it’s easier for her to shy away from me when we live in different time zones.”
He’s probably right. I’m sure if I had gone back to LA, Chase and I would be in a similar situation.
“What happened with Rachel?” I ask Drake, doing my best to shake away my negative thoughts. This is my baby shower. I’m supposed to be having fun and celebrating my baby boy.
I take a sip of my blueberry lemonade, enjoying the way the sweet and tart play together on my tongue. Indira let it slide that it was Chase’s idea to flavor nearly everything blueberry. She thought it was because we’re having a boy so he wanted things to be blue, but I know he was just feeding my pregnancy cravings.
I rub my belly, enjoying its tight roundness thanks to both the baby and the food, and sigh in contentment. I’ve already devoured a scone and donut, and cake is still to come.
“We split up actually. For good, this time,” Drake says.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, and I mean it. I reach my hand out to pat his arm and he swats it away in embarrassment. It’s such a brotherly type thing to do and I find myself snickering. His friendship has been one of the best things about living in Gamble Springs and I’m thankful fate has brought him into my life.
“No, don’t be. Rachel and I both knew it was over for a long time. We should have called it quits the first time we broke up instead of continuing to try to force the other to change.”
I nod thoughtfully, steering the conversation to a lighter topic. “I really appreciate you picking Olivia up from the airport. How was the ride here?”
Drake grins and shrugs his shoulders. “It was nice catching up.”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “I bet it was.”
We sit in silence then, looking out over the lawn and watching the others. Olivia and Indira are in one corner, cutting the cake and preparing it on little blue paper plates.
I last saw Chase’s parents inside, when his father shooed everyone out so they could clean up from brunch and pack up all the presents. With the way they’d been making eyes at each other all morning, I wouldn’t be surprised if the chores were just an excuse to get some alone time.
Chase and Emily are over at the big wooden playset tucked into the back corner of the yard. This morning, Janice said it was put up for Willow many years ago and even when she outgrew it, they kept it up in hopes they’d have more grandchildren someday. Her words were spoken quietly while we looked out into the yard together. Her arm was wrapped around my shoulders, like she could sense my need for comfort in that moment.
I watch as Chase pushes Emily gently on the swing. She’s not moving more than a few inches back and forth, but it looks like she might topple over at any moment.
It’s a chilly October day, but not freezing. Still, Emily is all bundled up in a winter coat, gloves, and hat. In typical Emily fashion, she forced a smile through the pain all morning and I know she’s running out of steam. I worry that her effort today will take days to recover from.
“She doesn’t have much longer.” Drake’s words are pained, his face strained with emotion. “It’s like she’s just wasting away in front of us. Chase is going to be a mess. I’m not even sure he knows how to exist without her.”
I tip my head at him, trying to keep my face neutral as jealousy slices through me. I know he doesn’t mean any harm by his words, but I’m only human. Two humans, in fact, and the two of us have a lot of hormones to contend with.
I wonder if Drake ever deals with the same feeling. If it’s been hard for him to stand on the outside of what Emily and Chase have for all these years. Even if the two have never been romantic, there’s a level of intimacy you reach when you’re not only living with someone, but also married to them. There’s a deeper connection built beyond friendship.
Plus, Chase took on a fatherly role with Willow, while Drake was left being the fun uncle—even though the role fits him well.
“Drake, can I ask you something personal?”
“Since when have you asked permission first?” he teases, so I stick my tongue at him and he laughs. “Of course, Addison.”
“Okay.” I hesitate, wanting to pick my words with care. I worry I might be crossing a line, but the need to ask is too great to ignore. “It feels a little unfair to ask this, but I’m going to anyway, so please just tell me if I should back off, okay?”
He nods once, so I continue.
“How did you feel about Chase and Emily getting married? Or even just when she and Willow moved in with him? The three of you have been friends for so many years now.”
If he’s surprised by my question, he doesn’t show it, but he does manage to look both thoughtful and sad at the same time.
“Uh, it was…different. Chase has always been the serious one, responsible to a fault. Even when we were kids, he was always swooping in to save the day. It didn’t matter who needed his help, he would always take care of it. So as crazy as it should have sounded when he just bought a house and told me he was moving them in, it wasn’t. It was just Chase doing what he does.
“And yeah, maybe there were times in the beginning where things felt a little weird. I thought for sure there had to be something going on between them. Hell, everyone did. But they swore up and down it was nothing. I even intentionally dropped by unannounced multiple times, trying to catch them in the act.”
“The act?!” I swear I can feel myself pale.
“Okay, well, not that act,” he says, making a face at me. “Just in any act, I guess. Kissing, holding hands, whatever. But eventually, I gave up on the whole thing. It really did seem like they were the same old Emily and Chase. Only this time, there was a baby involved.” He stops talking and lifts a bulky shoulder in a shrug before crossing his arms in front of him.
“Were you ever jealous of them?” I don’t even make eye contact when I ask the question.
“Of Chase and Emily? No. But there have been times over the years when I’ve been a little jealous of the relationship Chase and Willow have. Let’s be honest, though, he’s a way better father than I ever could be. Hell, I don’t even have a dad of my own. What do I know about being one?”
His words give me pause. How many times have I thought the very same thing of myself?
“You seem like a pretty doting uncle to me. I think you’d make a great father someday,” I tell him.
“Y
eah,” he says, staring off at Olivia again. “Maybe someday.”
✽✽✽
“Hey, Will. You okay, hun?” I shouldn’t even bother asking the question. Her slumped shoulders and down-turned lips tell me she’s not. But each time I ask her how she’s doing, she seems to gain a little trust in the fact that I really do care.
“No,” she replies. She picks at the nail polish on her finger and continues to pout.
I can’t even blame her. I take a quick look out the window and see the sun shining. I check the weather app on my phone and, surprisingly, it’s a warm fifty degrees out. It’s Saturday, so Chase is at work, but I could use some fresh air. And based on Willow’s somber face, I’d say she could too.
“Let’s go somewhere,” I say, spinning back around to the table. She raises her eyes to mine and I swear I see a quick flash of excitement spark in them.
“Okay,” she replies.
“Let me go check on your mom and tell her we’re heading out for a bit, okay?” I give her a big smile and head up the stairs.
When I reach Emily’s room, I turn the doorknob, quietly peeking my head into the room. I don’t want to wake her if she’s resting. She opens her eyes slowly, giving me a strained smile.
“Hi. Willow is going a little stir crazy. Is it okay if I take her out for a bit? We won’t be gone long.”
Instead of answering, she pats the bed beside her. “Come lie with me for a second,” she says.
I try not to show my hesitation. I mean, I can’t very well tell her no, even if being in this room and seeing her like this makes my heart seize in my chest. I give her a slight nod and wait as the new hospice nurse rises from the corner chair and leaves the room with a smile.
I stand there for a few moments before finally heading toward her. The room is so quiet. I try to tiptoe, but I’m sure I look more like a seal dragging its limbs along the shore. When I make it to the bed, I lower myself down onto my back, mindlessly running my left hand along my stretching stomach.
After a few minutes, she speaks. “He loves you, you know.”