by Lizzy Ford
Past-Death, the original Deidre, felt no different until she stepped into the apartment she visited once before leaving her underworld in the hands of Gabriel. It was then she felt the effect of what Darkyn had done to her.
Her skin was prickling the way it did when another deity used magic around her, the fair hair on her arms standing on end. The colors of the mortal world were brilliant, the light in her bedchamber blinding her. Beneath her feet, the carpet was plush enough to fascinate her as she took a step. It cushioned her bare feet the way she imagined a cloud might.
Her attention shifted as the world around her continued to register. She was … cold. Hungry.
No, starving. It hurt. Had she ever been so hungry? Deities ate for pleasure, not out of need.
She wasn’t expecting the intensity of sensations in the human world.
Shivering, she stripped out of the Hell garb and flung it aside to put on some of the clothing she’d chosen. Her soul had been sentient only since she died-dead, about six months ago. Her soul had been planted into the human’s head upon birth. Death was required to give up its soul when it ran the underworld. Past-Death didn’t remember why exactly, but the rule was that Death could not be a responsible collector of souls if it did not appreciate what it was to have a soul. Without one, she had existed in a state of sentience without feeling, a world of permanent grey.
Being dead-dead was pleasant, though she’d tried to pay as much attention as possible to the world outside of human-Deidre’s head. She recalled people, places, and some routines, like those that human-Deidre did at least once a day: getting dressed, the bathroom, showering.
If not for Gabriel, past-Death had no reason to want to try to leave the simple existence of a soul. She’d forced herself to try to watch human-Deidre as much as possible.
Past-Death stood before the wardrobe, considering what human-Deidre would do in her place.
Deidre ran her hands over the clothing in the wardrobe, gasping at the sensations. The sweaters weren’t just the most vibrant shades of autumn, they were softer than anything she’d ever experienced.
She stood back, astounded. This was what it was like to be human? Was this why humans were so ensnared by their world and their minds so limited? Moving from the wardrobe to the dresser drew her attention to the carpet again. Cool air made all the skin of her naked body prickle.
She grinned, enjoying her newfound abilities. With great focus, she dug through the undergarments in the dresser and chose a set that matched, like human-Deidre did. Deidre managed to pull them on and then went back to the wardrobe, selecting the softest sweater and a pair of jeans. Infatuated by the carpet, she kept her feet bare.
Pleased with herself, she began to think being human wasn’t going to be so hard. It was going to be much more pleasurable than she imagined. Now that she was alive again and survived Darkyn, the hardest part was over. All she had to do was practice for a day or two and then find Gabriel. They’d start their lives together and live happily ever after.
“Light, off!” she commanded the annoying overhead lights.
Nothing happened. She rolled her eyes, recalling she had no magic.
“Deidre?”
She perked at the voice and strode to the landing overlooking the bottom floor. She recognized the female death-dealer at once.
“Cora,” she said. “What are you doing here?”
“Sleeping on your couch. You were asleep when I got here,” Cora replied. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
Deidre’s gaze was caught by the bank of windows lining one side of the penthouse. They’d been there when she originally selected the apartment, of course, but the sight of the sunrise left her breathless. The sun was brilliant, the pinks and oranges – combined with the multiple shades of blue sky as it lightened – creating a vision beyond that of any dream.
“Wow,” she said.
Cora followed her gaze, brow furrowed. “Are you alright?”
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? It’s a shame there’s only one.” In the underworld where she spent almost her entire life, there were two suns and two moons.
Deidre returned her attention to the death-dealer, who looked confused. Deidre went downstairs. She had to appear to be a normal human by being careful in everything she said and did. She knew from watching human-Deidre where the food was and opened the pantry door. Cans and boxes lined the shelves. Nothing looked … edible.
Lipton Tea. Deidre reached for the box. She opened the box and carefully unwrapped a tea bag, attention arrested as much by what was in her hands as the stiffness of paper.
She held up the bag by its string. The tea she remembered drinking didn’t look like this. It came in a cup. Her gaze went to the cupboards. There were mugs there, she recalled. She opened them until she found one and placed the bag in the cup. Stepping back, Deidre waited for the tea transform into what she remembered tea to be.
Nothing happened.
“This isn’t working,” she said, perplexed. “Do you know how to do this?”
“Um, yes,” the death-dealer said.
“Oh, good. You can show me. We can have breakfast.” Deidre went back to the pantry, trying to remember what human-Deidre ate. “Do you know where the omelets are?”
Cora didn’t answer. Deidre turned to find the assassin staring at her. She’d said something off but wasn’t sure what.
“We can make some,” Cora said.
“Okay.”
“Do you want me to … uh, remind you how?”
“Yes, please.”
Deidre stepped back as Cora moved into the kitchen.
“This is a Keurig. You can make tea with it,” she started.
Deidre watched closely as Cora demonstrated how to heat water, insert the teabag and then add sugar. She tested the tea Cora made and was thrilled at the rich, sweetened flavor.
“Wow,” she said. She crossed to the pantry again, suddenly curious about what kind of new, intense flavors awaited her in the assortment of boxes and cans.
“The eggs are in the refrigerator,” Cora said.
Deidre hesitated. The death-dealer gave her another long look before she pointed to the stainless steel box at the end of the kitchen. Deidre crossed to it and opened both doors. One side was cold, the other freezing. More food items lined the shelves of both. Her eyes went over the shelves. She read the names of everything, until she found the eggs.
She removed the carton from the fridge, opening it as she walked to Cora. She carefully lifted an egg. Fascinated by the cool, smooth texture of its shell, she bumped into the counter. The egg fell, and she gasped as it exploded on contact with the floor.
“I can fix it,” she said quickly and knelt.
“No, no. Um, it’s … you know what, you can drink your tea and I’ll make breakfast,” Cora said, taking the eggs. She handed Deidre the teacup and saucer.
Deidre went to the breakfast bar, eyes following Cora’s movements. She had to learn to do everything a human did, and she had to learn fast. Her eyes went to the strange red chili lights dangling around the edge of the kitchen. She wasn’t certain she liked them; they clashed with the creamy décor of the apartment.
As she watched Cora, Deidre began to think she’d missed a lot over the past few months despite trying to pay attention to the human world. Preparing food wasn’t something human-Deidre did often. She ate at restaurants, where food was brought to her.
But the day she met Gabriel, human-Deidre made an omelet. Deidre wanted to experience everything about that day. It was the second strongest memory in human-Deidre’s mind, the day when both of their lives changed.
The strongest memory in human-Deidre’s mind: the moment she realized she’d made a deal with the Dark One, when his fangs had pierced her body. Deidre wasn’t expecting to go through it with the human. Even as a sentient soul, she’d felt fear.
It must have terrified human-Deidre. She frowned. As a deity, she had few real emotions. She was numb to most of the world, and
the colors of the worlds were muted. The thought of human-Deidre in the hands of the Dark One made her feel something … unpleasant.
Deidre studied her hands. They were so human, their coloring peachy, the skin delicate. She hadn’t looked in a mirror, but she guessed she had the healthy coloring of a mortal. At least she had the mind of a deity still, the memories and …
She froze. Memories. Deidre concentrated hard. She’d expected Darkyn to screw her over somehow, and she now knew how. She was human in every way, including her memories. She recalled nothing beyond her human age of twenty-six years. Knowledge gathered over tens of thousands of millennia … gone! She struggled to recall what her real mother looked like or the day she became Death or even the day she met Gabriel.
The memories were gone. Something cold slid through her. The sensation was almost physical. If she had to guess, she’d call the emotion fear.
Cora placed an omelet before her with a fork. Deidre glanced at her.
“Gabriel wants one of us with you at all times,” Cora said. “Did you plan on leaving today?”
“Leaving.”
“I think you like going to the farmer’s market in the morning.”
“Yes.” She thought she vaguely remembered seeing the farmer’s market before.
“I’ll let him know. He’s supposed to come by this afternoon.”
Deidre dropped her fork, not expecting the news. Cora was walking away already, leaving Deidre to her internal war. She wanted to see Gabriel; it was the reason she’d done everything she’d done. But she didn’t feel quite ready yet. As someone accustomed to being in control of her world, she needed a little more time before she was ready to face him. The purpose of this apartment was to give her a place to practice being human.
She didn’t need to practice. She really was a human.
Her thoughts went to the deal she’d made human-Deidre. She wasn’t going to have much time to prepare herself, either. Darkyn was never going to let his newest treasure go, but Deidre didn’t intend to lose her deal.
Wynn’s warning weighed heavier on her thoughts. To win Gabriel, Deidre planned on lying to him, convincing him she was human-Deidre. As much as she distrusted Wynn, she’d seen the caution in his features, the haunted wisdom of his gaze. He wasn’t the arrogant, ruthless Immortal she remembered.
Broken. The word fit him. The human world that fascinated her had broken him. She didn’t understand how, when there was so much beauty around her.
Deidre couldn’t learn to become the human she created in half a day. She considered. Wynn said to tell Gabriel the truth. Telling him that she’d mated off human-Deidre to the Dark One would make Gabriel hate her. She wasn’t willing to lose him already, not after all she’d gone through to keep him.
Thoughtful, she began to put together another plan and rehearse what she’d say. She ate, her attention soon captured by the sensations of the airy omelet and melted cheese in her mouth. She finished everything and returned to her bedroom, going through the rest of human-Deidre’s morning routine. When she was satisfied, she rejoined Cora on the main level of the penthouse.
“You might want … shoes,” Cora said awkwardly. “There’s no carpet in the street.”
“Ah, of course.” Deidre ran back up to her room and looked over the assortment of shoes. The ones she chose were beautiful, but human-Deidre never touched them. She’d worn either sandals or tennis shoes.
Deidre borrowed her sandals and trotted down the stairs. Cora handed her a purse and sunglasses. Deidre took them, excited at her first venture into the mortal world as a human.
Her eagerness lasted until she stepped from the apartment building to the sidewalk lining a busy street. Deidre froze. In her penthouse, she was able to take in things at her own pace. Here, the world was shoved in her face. The sidewalks were jammed with people and smells, the traffic thick and loud. The buildings blocked the sun, and the barrage of sensations overwhelmed her.
“It’s rush hour,” Cora explained. “The market is only two blocks away. Are you ready?”
Deidre nodded. Cora began weaving through the crowd. Deidre followed, surprised then angry when people jostled her instead of moving from her path. She was about to summon a spell to clear the sidewalk completely when she recalled she wasn’t able to use her power anymore.
Deidre stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling very exposed to the blaring world. Another of the newfound feelings crept into her. This one was worry.
“Deidre,” Cora called from a few feet in front of her.
She shook off the strange feeling and followed once more. They walked to a corner and turned away from the busy main street onto a quieter side one. Deidre struggled to take in everything around her, bombarded by the noise, smells and activity. They soon reached an area where the street was sectioned off, and a line of white-topped tents lined the street. People milled through the farmer’s market.
She joined them, trying to recall the reason human-Deidre came to these. The displays of fruit and vegetables, homemade food, crafts, and other items soon enthralled her. She stopped to admire the colors of a fruit pyramid and the textures of textiles. They reached the food section, and Deidre’s attention shifted to the source of the scents. She followed her nose until she found the one she wanted.
“My gods,” she breathed, stopping in front of one stand. She read the sign. “Funnel cake.”
She spent a minute thinking over how she’d seen human-Deidre buy things. Deidre looked through her purse and pulled out the wallet. She had a ten dollar bill. She looked at the sign again and stepped forward.
“One of those,” she said, pointing. They smelled too good to eat just one. “No. Three of those.”
Ten minutes later, she sat at a picnic table, devouring the crispy-sweet treats. She made it through two and a half of the dinner-plate sized confections before she grimaced. Her stomach was too full to finish. Her gaze lingered on the remaining half a funnel cake. It was the most incredible food in the world, much better than omelets. Why did human-Deidre not eat these every day?
Deidre delicately wiped her face and stood, stuffed but beyond pleased with her first day as a human. Cora said nothing, her features emotionless and eyes roving for threats.
They continued, and Deidre’s attention went to a small shop behind the tents, from which incense drifted. She entered the darkened store while Cora remained outside. There were a few people in the store. She went to the back, where the jars of essence were kept. Intrigued by the new scents, she began opening bottles to smell them. Light flared suddenly behind her, and she turned curiously. The clerk darted around the counter towards the corner, where someone had accidently tipped over a lit candelabra that was now burning the curtains. The other customers crowded the back with Deidre. The clerk was holding an extinguisher, shaking and cursing it.
“Go out the back!” he shouted to them as the fire grew.
Deidre let the group jostle her down a small hallway that emptied out into an alley behind the row of buildings. The group lingered, peering into the store to watch the fire and the clerk.
Deidre stayed for a moment then decided to leave, more interested in exploring the world than waiting long enough to see what happened. She walked down the alley, nose wrinkling at the scents of trash and stagnant water. She paused at the intersection with another narrow alley, not liking the smelly alleys at all.
With a look around, she started down a new direction, hoping it emptied out somewhere that didn’t creep her out so much. At the far end, she saw what looked like a busy street.
“You here for me?” The voice was mocking.
Startled, Deidre turned. She hadn’t heard the demon drop from the top of the building to land a few feet behind her. Without her power, she wasn’t able to sense him or the danger he posed. His pointed teeth, soulless eyes and rumbling growl gave away the otherwise human-looking creature as a demon.
“Definitely not,” she snapped.
“How about me
?”
She whipped around at the voice of the second demon.
“You have no business with me,” she told them coolly. “Leave, before I take matters into my own hands.”
One laughed.
“Word on the street is that Darkyn took your power,” the other said with a toothy grin. “Making you … mortal. A sweet treat for a demon.”
Uneasiness drifted through her. “Did he send you to harass me?” she demanded, mind on the demon lord’s parting words about ensuring his mate won their deal.
“No. We’re just hungry.”
“Immortal Law states that the mate of an immortal or deity is beyond –“
“Immortal Law!” the first one laughed again. “Demon Law offers you no protection, Death’s mate or not.”
Deidre shifted. She found herself reaching for her power again, only to find it gone. The reminder made her feel something colder than worry.
“Gabriel will kill you if you touch me,” she said quietly.
“If he can find us. He can’t find souls, let alone demons.”
She frowned. She’d left him the soul compass and his soul in her jewelry box, along with the ring he gave her, so he knew they were intended for him. Before she could warn them off again, one grabbed her. The grip around her arm was tight enough to cause a new sensation: pain.
Deidre tried to pull away but was unable to move. She was too weak.
Like a human.
His fangs lengthened, and she stared at them, the reality of her situation beginning to sink in. The other demon snatched the back of her neck, and she gasped.
“Don’t worry. We won’t kill you,” the demon in front of her said. “I don’t need Death tracking me down. But I want to be the first demon to taste a deity.” With the second demon holding her, he closed the distance.
“Don’t –“ she shouted, bracing her hands against his chest. He gripped her wrists and pushed her hands down with little effort while the second demon pushed her head to the side to expose her neck.
Deidre panicked. The intense fear broke within her, and she struggled.
“I love my breakfast fighting,” the demon before her whispered a moment before his fangs sank into her neck.
She screamed, not expecting the level of sharp pain.
“Deidre!” Cora shouted.
Deidre was flung aside. One demon fell beneath Cora’s flashing swords while the other bound away and disappeared.
Stunned, Deidre placed a hand to her neck and lifted it away. It was covered in blood. Her blood. Hot, throbbing pain was in her neck, and she felt woozy. Cora dropped to her knees beside her and pressed Deidre’s hand back to her neck.
“Keep it there, so you don’t bleed out,” Cora ordered then tilted her head to the side. “Gabriel.”
“Oh, no,” Deidre mumbled. She wasn’t ready to face him yet!
She hurt. She’d never felt pain as a deity. She’d never been attacked by a demon, either.
Wooziness turned to lightheadedness. The world faded into shadow and light then into an uncomfortable darkness, not quite sleep but not consciousness either. Deidre closed her eyes, unable to fathom some stupid demon had hurt her.
She was human. She was weak.
She was terrified.
Something warm drifted through her, and her body felt like it was floating. The pain faded then stopped suddenly, but she wasn’t able to leave the in-between place.
Wake up, sweetheart. The quiet command was accompanied by a flare of warmth and strength within her. Deidre’s eyelids fluttered open. She was lying in her bedroom, on her bed. Someone had figured out how to turn off the overhead lights that blinded her earlier.
She had a nasty headache and groaned, touching her head. Soft voices drew her attention to the doorway, where she was able to hear but not see Cora behind the massive frame of Gabriel.
Deidre stared at him, not remembering him to be as big as he was. Just under seven feet tall and muscular, he wore all black with weapons strapped to various parts of his body. His back was to her, his arms crossed, and his t-shirt stretched tightly across his thick back and shoulders. His hips were slim, his long legs shapely. She didn’t remember the aura of power and command around him either. It was subtle but compelling, drawing her attention involuntarily.
Her Gabriel, who spent his life a part of the shadows, radiated the quiet power of a deity that reached her from across the room. He’d never blend into the shadows again.
Her heart was racing and something new fluttered through her, warmth that pooled at the base of her belly. And fear. If a demon nowhere near his size was able to hurt her, what could Gabriel do, if he was upset at her for any reason? If he found out the extent she’d gone to in order to be here with him?
In his place, she’d kill him.
She reclined back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. The soft bed was warm from her body heat, and she found herself running a hand over the downy comforter while she tried to understand the emotions within her.
“Are you okay?”
Deidre’s heart flip-flopped at Gabriel’s husky baritone. He sat down on the bed beside her. Her breath caught.
Beautiful did not describe him. The features she’d admired when she was Death she now saw as stunning. Chiseled to perfection, covered in olive-hued skin, with a low brow, piercing gaze and strong jaw …His nearness made her feel hot.
“I’ll assume that’s a yes,” he said with a faint smile. He reached out to tilt her chin to the side to see her neck. Warm energy fluttered through her. His large hand was unexpectedly gentle as it settled on her neck over where the demon bit her. She’d never let him touch her like that before, but she found his touch calming.
Fascinated by the texture of his palm, she took and held his hand up until she was able to see the roughness of his calloused palm. She traced her fingertips over his wide palm. It was almost twice the size of hers.
He lowered his hand, resting it possessively on her upper thigh. Desire stirred within her, along with some confusion. He’d never touched her without permission. He seemed at ease with himself, another thing she didn’t remember about him.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he started, studying her. “Who the fuck are you?”
Her jaw dropped.
“It’s okay. Whatever happened … There’s nothing to stress about,” he added when she was silent. “But you’re not exactly the same woman I saw here last night.”
Deidre’s careful story didn’t even make it to her tongue. She simply gazed at him. He definitely never would’ve spoken to her like this, as if …
…as if he was Death and she was not. She never stopped to consider what it would be like if he became the person she had been. If their roles were completely reversed. In her mind, she saw only them being happy, finally, after an eternity of struggling to understand one another. She once thought the problem was him, because he was of human origin. Many years ago, she figured out the opposite was true: they had issues, because she wasn’t human.
Changing that, then, was the only thing that lay between her and her love.
Except, something still wasn’t right. What?
Deidre pushed herself up carefully, unable to take her eyes off of Gabriel. His hand fell from her leg, breaking her trance enough that she looked away. She pulled her knees to her chest and leaned against the backboard.
He was waiting. The Gabriel she remembered would’ve dropped it and left. This Gabriel wasn’t going anywhere.
“I am me,” she said at last.
He raised an eyebrow. Her face felt warm. She wasn’t certain why.
“I made a deal with Darkyn.” She paused, trying to figure out what to tell him.
“Don’t stop there,” he said grimly.
“I’m what’s …left of the two of us,” she said and stopped. Lying was hard as a mortal. It didn’t feel good. She touched her neck and felt the scars. Was human-Deidre going through the same pain many times a day at Darkyn
’s hands?
“Are you in pain?” Gabriel’s voice softened. He reached out to her again and pulled her hand away, placing his against her neck. She shivered at the odd connection, the heat and warmth. The fact he touched her without hesitation. Did she like that or not? She debated.
She never offered to heal him, either, when she had been Death and he was her servant. She didn’t understand what pain was at that point. Her greatest warrior, Gabriel had experienced his fair share of battle wounds. The idea he’d gone through something like this, and she didn’t know to help him made her sad.
She never wanted him to suffer.
“No pain,” she murmured, pulling her attention back to him.
“So you just made a random deal with Darkyn.” His thumb brushed her jaw line. Back and forth, back and forth, in a way that left her skin tingling and her feeling as if she was falling under some sort of spell.
“Sort of,” she replied. “You didn’t used to …touch me without asking.”
“You didn’t seem to mind me holding you for hours last night on the beach.”
“I don’t mind. I …” She shook her head. “I can’t think when you do.”
“Tell me what happened,” he said and dropped his hand. “I’ll wait to touch you until after.” He was amused.
Deidre’s brow furrowed. He didn’t say he’d ask to touch her. Just said that he would.
“I made him a deal to take the tumor out. He made the two of us one,” she said slowly. It wasn’t coming out the way she practiced it, maybe because Gabriel was sitting close enough that she wanted to lean against him instead of the bed and place his large hands on the parts of her body hidden by clothes.
“You are past-Death and … Deidre?” Gabriel asked.
“I’m both Deidres,” she replied with some offense. “We are the same person.”
“In some ways, maybe,” he allowed. “The tumor is gone?”
“Yes.”
Her first thought was that he wasn’t buying it. His gaze remained steady.
“Turn around.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“I want to make sure you’re my mate and not a shape-shifter demon.”
“Do I look like a demon?” she retorted.
“You can show me your marking, or I can hold you down and look myself,” he warned.
“You wouldn’t …”
Gabriel shifted towards her. Deidre sprang back.
“Okay,” she said, uncomfortable with the idea she had no control whatsoever over the man before her. He didn’t answer to her anymore, as he had for thousands of years.
Did she expect him to?
Confused, she turned her back to him and pulled her shirt up to expose the marking. Gabriel placed a large hand on her back. She gasped, the heat and energy of his touch making her shiver. Fully splayed, it would almost cover the width of her petite frame. The thought of letting him run those hands wherever he wanted thrilled the human in her and terrified the former goddess.
She pushed her shirt down and moved away to break contact, facing him again when half the bed was between them.
“Just when things seem to be going well,” he said and stood. Fire flashed in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” she asked uncertainly.
He crossed his arms, dark gaze hard, towering in the bedroom that suddenly felt too small for her.
“What’s wrong,” he repeated. “Do you have any idea what he could’ve done to you?”
She was quiet.
“Why the fuck couldn’t you come to me first?”
She flushed and looked away. She’d seen him upset but never angry. Neither she nor human-Deidre thought to involve Gabriel in their plans. They were more alike than Deidre realized; they both sought out Darkyn for quiet deals they hoped would result in ending up with Gabriel. Only one of them made it out of Hell, though.
“My mate trusts the Dark One over me to help her. It’s a shitty way to start things off.” Furious, he started towards the door.
Deidre swallowed hard, wanting to chase after him but unsettled by his anger and the changes in him. She waited her whole life for this moment, and all she was able to do was watch him leave her. The human emotions were crippling the cold logic that brought her to this point. She couldn’t lose him now, because of human weakness!
“Gabriel, wait!” she called.
He stopped at the door but didn’t turn.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To do my job. Right now, I need to kill some demons.”
“I thought … I thought this would make you happy.”
“You know what would make me happy, Deidre?”
“What?”
“Being able to trust my own mate. Neither Deidre ever understood that.”
She stared after him. She had to say something to keep him from leaving her, but she was too stunned. He waited. She screamed at herself silently, afraid he meant to walk out the door forever.
“Did that go the way you expected?” he asked quietly.
“N…no,” she whispered.
“Last night you were ready to trust me. What happened?”
Deidre thought back, struggling to remember what human-Deidre felt, if not the events. Gabriel had held her on the beach. They’d sat for hours, until human-Deidre’s distress faded and turned first to disbelief then hope then resolve. It was the same sequence Deidre went through before making the private deal with the demon lord, the one that resulted in her reincarnation and condemned human-Deidre to become the mate of the Dark One.
“I knew Darkyn could give me a second chance with you,” she said. “Clean slate.”
“Everything would be different – better, perfect – overnight.”
“Yes.”
“Did it work?”
“I don’t know.”
“I wouldn’t be walking out right now if it did.”
She sighed. Her eyes grew blurry, and hot wetness slid down her cheeks. Deidre touched them, surprised to find they were tears. She’d never cried as a goddess. Ever. Why was she crying? There were too many emotions for her to identify them, but one of them – or all of them? – caused the tears. Frustrated, she realized she wasn’t able to control whatever it was.
Gabriel left. The door closed behind him. Her Gabriel was gone.
The pain settling into her was of a different kind. It had no physical source, but it hurt her physically nonetheless. She was hardly able to draw a deep breath through her tight chest. A new emotion formed. It felt much like dread. She rested back on the bed and cried.
The tears stopped of their own accord after a while, and the calm of her mind brought back her focus.
She gave up her power, her domain, and her entire life for this opportunity. She didn’t factor Gabriel’s transition into Death into the equation. She didn’t factor her transition into a human, either. The overload of emotions, the inability to read Gabriel’s mind to find out what he thought, so she knew what to say or do.
How did she win him, if she had to guess what he was thinking? How did she win him, if she wasn’t able to control the human feelings?
Trust? As a goddess, she had no need for those around her to trust her. They feared her, and this was what kept them in check.
Gabriel didn’t trust her. This made her hurt more. After all their years together, he didn’t trust that she would do what she had to in order for them to be together.
Chapter Three