Truth About Men & Dogs

by Andrea Simonne

  She opened the door wider, and I stepped inside the entryway. It had a parquet floor with a large crystal chandelier overhead.

  “Let me show you the house.”

  “That sounds great.” I had my clipboard with me, ready to check off the number of rooms she wanted cleaned and what she wanted done in each one. “How did you hear about our service?” I asked, following her up a staircase with thick beige carpeting. I always tried to find out how people heard of us so I could tell which one of my ads was working.

  She glanced over her shoulder at me. “My friend Ivy recommended you.”

  I hid my irritation at hearing that. After all, I should have been glad Ivy was sending business my way. In fact, this was the third new customer in a month that came from Ivy selling me to the women she socialized with.

  After following Mona down a long hallway, I noticed double doors ahead of us. She swung them open and led me into an elaborate master bedroom. To be honest, it was a mess. Not that I was judging, since I was here to fix the mess. She then led me into the large attached bathroom, which was equally messy.

  “Here is where I’d like you to start.”

  I balanced the clipboard on my arm and made note of the type of tub she had so I could bring the right cleaning materials next time. There was marble and porcelain, plus the floors were ceramic tile, which I’d found was best to vacuum first and then clean with a microfiber mop. I made a note of that too.

  She stood there with her arms crossed, staring at me as I wrote.

  “My understanding is that you’d bring your own cleaning supplies,” she said, still staring.

  “That’s right.” I finished writing and looked up at her from the clipboard.

  “Well, where are they?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Where are your cleaning supplies?” She spoke slowly like I was an idiot. Her round blue eyes were spaced far apart and bulged out. They reminded me of a fish—just like her handshake.

  “Oh, I’m not here to clean right now. I’m here to find out what your needs are so we can do the best job for you when we do come back and clean.”

  She gaped at me with those bulging eyes. Her lips were puffed up and probably fake. I watched the way her mouth opened and closed. Weird. She really looked like a fish.

  “How often do you think you’d like us to come in and clean?” I lifted my pen, ready to write down her response. “We can do weekly, biweekly, or monthly.” I explained how our prices were prorated by how often she needed us. “Most people do bi—”

  “You’re not cleaning today?” she asked, clearly agitated. “I thought you were here to clean.”

  “No, as I just explained, and as I also explained in the email we sent you, this is only a preliminary meeting to determine your needs. Afterward, we’ll schedule your cleanings.”

  “My needs?” she hissed. “My needs are that I want my house cleaned right fucking now!” Her blowfish lips rapidly opened and closed.

  I took a deep breath and studied my clipboard. I had two choices. I could thank her politely for her time and walk out of here, or I could smile and figure out a way to make her happy and keep this job. I didn’t enjoy having these kinds of clients, but unfortunately, they were a reality.

  My ever-dwindling bank account was also a reality.

  I ran through the day’s schedule in my mind to see if there was some way I could accommodate her. Laurie and Kyle were already booked, and neither of them worked after their kids got out of school. I had two more jobs today, and then I was meeting Leah and Theo for dinner tonight.

  I sighed to myself. They wouldn’t like it, but I would have to cancel.

  “I have a couple more jobs today,” I told Mona, “but I could come back and clean your house this evening. Would that be acceptable?”

  She glanced down at her well-manicured hands, fingering the big rock on her finger. “I suppose I’ll give you another chance, but only because Ivy recommended you.”

  We set up a time for later that evening. Afterward, she showed me the rest of the house and what she wanted done, complaining the entire time about how she wasn’t happy with this miscommunication, how she expected more professionalism next time. “I’ll be inspecting your work,” she said, swinging her dark hair over her shoulder, “so don’t think you can get away with laziness. I have very high standards.”

  Part of me felt like sticking my pen right into one of her big fish eyes, but I continued to smile politely. I’d learned after working with the public that you had to kill them with kindness.

  I called Leah on the way to my next job, telling her the bad news that I’d have to cancel dinner. We usually met at the town’s main diner, a place called Bijou's Cafe that had outstanding desserts.

  “Seriously? This is the third time in a row.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Is it because of work?”

  “A new client I met today.” I briefly explained the situation and the misunderstanding between Mona and me.

  “Damn, she sounds like a real witch. Maybe you should fire her and move on. You don’t need people like that in your life.”

  “Maybe.” I did occasionally “fire” clients, though I tried to avoid it. “I’m not going to build a business turning customers away.”

  “I just hate you slaving away for someone so awful. I guess it’s no surprise that Ivy sent her.”

  I didn’t reply. Leah hated Ivy, and the feeling was mutual. I’d known Leah since grade school, so the two of them were well acquainted.

  “Have you noticed how all these new customers Ivy sends you are complete bitches?” Leah pointed out. “Every last one of them.”

  “At least she’s trying to be supportive.”

  “I think she’s doing it on purpose. She wants to torture you.”

  “I doubt that.” Ivy always hung out with the mean girls at school. In fact, she was the head mean girl, so I shouldn’t be surprised that all her friends were awful. “That last one she sent to me wasn’t so bad.”

  “The one who wanted you to scrub her shower tiles with a toothbrush and baking soda?”

  “At least she tipped well.” In truth, she was horrible—so horrible that Laurie and Kyle both refused to go back after the first time they cleaned for her.

  “Ivy has it in for you. She’s always been jealous.”

  It wasn’t the first time Leah had tried to convince me of this. I couldn’t understand why Ivy would have any reason to be jealous though. When we were younger, it seemed like she had everything: looks, brains, the whole package. She was the most popular girl in school, though, admittedly, a lot of people were afraid of her.

  “I seriously doubt it. Why would she be jealous? Especially now.”

  “Because deep down in her black heart, she knows you’re a better person than she’ll ever be.”

  “I don’t think she believes that or even cares.”

  “Trust me. That’s why she’s only happy if you’re miserable.”

  It did seem that way, but our history wasn’t all bad. I remembered camping with Ivy in the backyard during middle school after her mom married my dad, giggling all night as we talked about boys. Everything changed during high school though. I caught her in bed with some guy during the summer between junior and senior year, and after that she acted different toward me. They were inside the carriage house having sex, and I got the impression it wasn’t the first time. I didn’t see who it was, but I figured it was her boyfriend, Derek—the captain of the football team. Predictably, Ivy only dated star athletes. She was upset when I caught them, but I told her I’d keep her secret. And I did. I never said a word to anyone.

  After high school, she left for college in California and stayed there. When my father died three years ago, she showed up out of the blue and announced she was moving back home. At first I didn’t know what to make of it. At my dad’s funeral, she wept as deeply as I did. It surprised me. He may have been her stepdad, but Ivy obviously loved him.
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br />   The memory of those tears was what pushed me to try and get along with her, despite what happened with Ethan afterward. Not that I’d ever forgive them for betraying me. There were days after my dad died, and after their affair came out, when I wanted to scream. But I was doing my best to move on now.

  “I couldn’t get a hold of Theo,” I said, figuring I’d change the subject. “I texted her but haven’t heard back. Have you talked to her today?”

  “She probably has her phone off or is busy with her bees.”

  “Probably,” I said. “I’ll try calling her later.”

  Theo, short for Theodora, was an entomologist specializing in bees. She worked for the university, which had a small research facility outside of town. The mention of Theo’s phone made me think of that thief Philip again. “Listen, do you think I should change the name of Your House Sparkles to something else?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Someone told me they thought it wasn’t a good name. That it wasn’t strong enough.”

  “I think it’s charming. Who the heck told you that?”

  “No one. Just some guy.”

  “A guy?” Her tone perked up. Despite my insistence on not dating, she was always on the hunt for me. “Do tell. Is he cute?”

  “No, he’s an asshat,” I said, pulling into the driveway for my next cleaning job.

  “A hot asshat, I hope.”

  Philip obviously was hot, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

  “Hmm, your silence is loud,” she said, and I could hear the grin in her voice. “Deafening.”

  “He’s Doug’s cousin.”

  Now it was Leah’s turn for silence. She’d met Doug recently when she hired him to build some extra storage space for her yarn. “Well, don’t worry. Neil has a cute single friend, and I want you to meet him.”

  “Absolutely not.” I turned the car engine off. “And I have to go to work now.”

  “It’s not a date or anything. Just a couple of beers.”

  “Forget it.”

  “Come on. He’s got nice shoulders and a Spiderman tattoo.”

  “I don’t care.”

  Leah lowered her voice. “I’ll bet I could convince him to wear an eye patch and a peg leg.”

  I smiled. I kind of had a thing for pirates.

  “And not that I was looking or anything.” She coughed lightly. “But I’m pretty sure his package is hefty size.”

  “Sorry.” I chuckled. “I’m not interested. Hefty size or otherwise.”

  I was still chuckling when I cleaned the next house. Leah could always make me laugh. Neil, the guy she was currently dating, was a vet who took care of all the animals on the small farm she bought a few months ago. A menagerie of llamas, alpacas, and sheep for spinning wool. She’d also acquired seven cats. To be honest, I sometimes wondered if she was only dating him to get a break on her vet bills.

  Leah had left Truth Harbor for college and then lived in Seattle, working for an investment company, but she gave it all up to come home recently and live her dream. Her twin brother was the deputy sheriff in town. She was divorced like me—though her marriage had been a short one.

  As I sprayed the bathroom mirror and wiped it down, I thought about the guy she wanted me to meet. I liked nice shoulders. An image flashed in my mind of Philip’s shoulders when he carried me. The way they felt beneath my hands, muscular and sturdy.

  I pushed the thought away. He was a thief. And an asshat.

  Overall, I didn’t have much experience with men. Ethan was my high school sweetheart and the only man, besides that one-night stand, I’d ever slept with. I sometimes wondered if that was why he cheated on me. I knew it was the cheater’s fault, but sometimes lying alone in bed at night, a part of me wondered what I’d done wrong. I thought I’d been a decent wife, had hoped I’d be a good mother someday too.

  I’d never admitted it to anyone, but my biggest regret from the marriage was that we never had kids. During the divorce, people kept telling me how lucky I was there were no children involved, how it made things so much easier, but privately I couldn’t help feeling like Ethan had doubly cheated me.

  After finishing the next two houses, I wasn’t looking forward to cleaning Mona’s gigantic McMansion. It had been a long day, and I was tired. I was bummed about canceling dinner too.

  I gave myself a pep talk as I sat in my car by the harbor, eating a peanut butter sandwich and drinking coffee. It was nearly dusk, and the sky was pink and blue. I came to this spot a lot, gazing out at the sailboats and wishing I was on one of them. I grew up sailing and missed it.

  I took a sip of coffee and reminded myself how hard work led to success. How this wasn’t just a job for me, that I was trying to build something.

  Sometimes when I couldn’t sleep at night, I went on motivational websites and read other people’s success stories. I’d learned how it was common for small business owners to work extra hard in the beginning so they could reap the rewards later.

  After finishing my sandwich and shoving the wrapper back into my pirate lunch box, I double-checked to make sure I had all the cleaning supplies I needed. Everything in order, I started up my car, still sipping coffee as I drove.

  Lost in thought, it wasn’t until I pulled into the driveway of Mona’s house that I noticed another car already parked there. I turned my engine off, then paused. It looked exactly like Ivy’s red BMW.

  No, it couldn’t be.

  My eyes flashed over to the front porch, and my stomach dropped.

  Sure enough, Ivy was standing there.

  Worse, she wasn’t alone.

  My cheater ex-husband was standing right next to her.

  Chapter Six

  ~ Claire ~

  Ethan.

  Despite the two of them moving back to town three months ago, I haven’t seen or spoken to him even once. I knew I’d have to see him eventually, but I was hoping to put it off as long as possible.

  Ivy’s head turned my way from where they were standing on the porch. She definitely saw me.

  Ugh. What am I supposed to do now?

  More than ever, I wished I hadn’t agreed to clean Mona’s house tonight.

  I took a deep breath. There wasn’t anything I could do. It was unprofessional to show up late.

  Gripping the handle, I opened my car door. My legs felt strange, and I tried to let the solid feel of the pavement calm me as I walked around to the back. I took my time getting out my cleaning supplies, setting up my wheeled cart.

  My stomach clenched and my palms were damp, but I forced myself to stand up straight and put a confident smile on my face. I’d read that faking a positive emotion could make you feel the real thing.

  The two of them were standing together, and as I approached the house, it was obvious they were dressed for a night on the town. Ivy’s pale hair shimmered. She wore a tight black dress with high-heeled sandals and was dazzling as always. Meanwhile, my turquoise shirt was stained with sweat. There were smudges on my pants from the last job, where I’d cleaned the bathroom floor on my hands and knees. I wished I’d at least freshened up. The eyeliner I put on this morning had worn off hours ago.

  “Claire!” Ivy called out to me. Her shrewd gaze took in my work clothes and the cart I was pulling behind me. “What a coincidence meeting you here. Are you working for Mona?”

  “Yes, that’s right.” I kept my tone even. I glanced at Ethan, but he faced the other way, talking to a man beside Mona who must have been her husband. Despite how exhausted I felt, I smiled brightly. “One last job tonight. I really enjoy running my own business,” I said, but she ignored me.

  “Ethan, it’s Claire!” She tugged on his arm. “Isn’t this a coincidence?”

  “Who?” I heard him say.

  Finally, he turned around.

  My smile faltered. He looked exactly the same. His wavy brown hair was a little shorter, but his hazel eyes, his tortoiseshell glasses, and his overall good-guy face were the same I’d once fallen
in love with. His sweet, nerdy smile was the only thing missing.

  “Claire?” He stared at me with a stunned expression.

  “Hello, Ethan.” You cheating bastard. “How are you?” I smiled brightly again and held on to my fake confidence with a death grip, like I was dangling from the edge of a skyscraper.

  Ethan grinned. “Wow, it’s great to see you, Claire.”

  I nodded, not quite willing to go that far in my niceties of politeness.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I didn’t have a chance to answer, because fish-face Mona noticed me from the doorway. “There you are, finally.” Her round eyes bulged while her puffy lips opened and closed. “I’ve left instructions for you with our nanny. You’ll also need to take care of the diaper area.”

  Ivy turned to Mona and spoke in a teasing voice. “Now don’t be too hard on Claire. She’s a good worker and always does an excellent job cleaning.”

  “Cleaning?” Ethan’s eyes widened, roaming over my dirty clothes, then to my cart of supplies. “You’re here to clean?”

  “Yes,” Ivy explained to him. “That’s what she does now.”

  I was about to tell him how I owned my own company, how I had two employees, but the words stuck in my throat.

  “Claire is a maid,” Ivy said with triumph. “She owns her own business. Isn’t that great?”

  Those familiar hazel eyes were still on me, and I hated what I saw in them. The way his whole face changed as the truth sank in. “You’re really a maid?”

  “Yes, I am.” I still tried to keep my facade. My fake confidence had slipped away though, and I was falling fast, plummeting from that skyscraper. Of all the times I’d imagined seeing Ethan again, it was never like this. There was never pity in his gaze or in his voice.

  “And you own your own business,” Ethan said softly. “Good for you, Claire.”

  I wanted to punch him in the nose. Punch him in that good-guy face, because he wasn’t a good guy, and I had to learn it the hard way. He was a lying cheater.

  I straightened my spine, even though my cheeks burned with humiliation at his pity.