We ordered our meal, and I excused myself to go to the restroom—which was super fancy. There was a crystal chandelier and bottles of expensive perfume on a shelf for the patrons. Except the whole room was done in red, which didn’t help my discomfort. I told myself to calm down. And then I had a stern talk with myself about jealousy and all my worries about being cheated on again. Philip had never given me any reason to distrust him. He didn’t deserve to be punished for what Ethan had done.
When I went back to our table, Philip was looking at his phone. He put it down when he saw me. “There you are. I was ready to send out a search party. Is everything all right?”
“Of course.” I took my seat again and reached for one of the breadsticks, trying to appear nonchalant.
The waiter came over and filled my wineglass. I picked it up and drank, except I took too large a gulp. To my embarrassment, wine spilled out the sides of my mouth and onto my chin. It even dribbled down the front of my chest and into my cleavage. “Dang it!” I quickly grabbed the cloth napkin from my lap and dabbed myself, trying to mop up the wine now pooled between my breasts. For some reason, I still held the breadstick in my other hand and accidentally smacked myself in the face with it.
Philip was silent watching this spectacle.
Eventually, I put the napkin down and let out a sigh of relief. I took a bite of the breadstick and chewed, venturing a glance at him.
He grinned. “Damn, you’re cute.”
“Really?” I swallowed. “Because I think I just put on a skit for you.”
He laughed and leaned forward. “I love everything about you, Claire.”
I gazed at him. His eyes were like a calm sea. Whatever his outer trappings were, the inner Philip, the one I’d gotten to know, was the absolute best.
“Are you really okay?” he asked.
I took a deep breath and decided to tell him the truth. “To be honest, I’ve been feeling a little out of my depth since I arrived yesterday.”
His brows came together. “What do you mean? Talk to me.”
And so I did. I told him how I’d been disoriented since I stepped off the plane, that I wasn’t used to his lifestyle.
“Sweetheart, why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“I figured I’d get over it. I mean, I will. It’s just a passing thing.”
“You never have to hold back from me. Don’t you know that?”
The rest of our dinner was good. We talked quietly, and Philip kept insisting I tell him the next time I felt the least bit uncomfortable.
Before dessert, he got up and left to use the restroom. I sat alone, sipping my wine and feeling a whole lot better. I should have told him about my discomfort sooner. It was silly to hide it. After all, I’d said I wanted to go for it, right?
There was buzzing on the table, and I noticed Philip had left his phone behind. It buzzed again, and I reached over to pick it up, glancing at the screen. Someone had texted him. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop my eyes from scanning the words.
Madison: Ditch your date and meet me at the bar. I have a sexy surprise for you.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
~ Claire ~
My stomach lurched. I stared at the message with disbelief.
No, it couldn’t be.
A wave of nausea came over me so strong, I thought I might throw up.
The phone buzzed in my hand again, and another text from Madison appeared.
Madison: Where are you, baby? My surprise is I’m not wearing any panties.
My hand shook, and I dropped the phone like it was radioactive. It hit the table with a loud thud.
It all came flooding back to me. The emails I’d seen on Ethan’s computer—the sexy ones from Ivy. I went to her apartment that day to confront her, because like a fool, I still thought Ethan was innocent. I thought he was innocent until the moment I discovered him fucking her. That was how dumb I was.
My skin broke out in a cold sweat. I knew this couldn’t be true. Philip would never do this to me, not after knowing what I’d been through. He wasn’t that kind of man.
Except that was the same thing I’d told myself about Ethan.
My eyes searched the restaurant for an exit. I had to get out of here.
Fumbling around for my purse, I was ready to leave when Philip appeared and sat down.
He took one look at me, and his brows slammed together. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. My heart was beating so hard it felt like it was trying to jump out of my chest. “Your phone,” I managed to say.
Philip grabbed his phone from the table in front of me. His face hardened when he read the messages. “Claire, this is not what you think. You know that.”
I held my hand over my chest, still trying to catch my breath. “I have to leave. I need air.”
“I had nothing to do with these messages.”
“Please, get me… out of here,” I said, my voice strangled.
He jumped up quickly and came to my side. I let him rest his hand on my back and guide me toward the entrance. The small rational part of me knew he was telling the truth, but the rest of me was freaking out.
A group of people was entering as we tried to leave, and naturally, one of them knew Philip. The guy started talking to him as we moved past. “I’ve heard rumblings on the street. The word is NorthStone is going to make a killing!”
Philip’s expression remained stern. “Excuse us” was all he said as he pushed through the crowd. His hand was still on my back, but as soon as we were outside, I broke away.
The cool air felt good against my face. I went to the side of the building and leaned against the wall, still trying to catch my breath. I was scared. Everything around me was a blur, and I couldn’t focus.
“Sweetheart, listen to me. I think you’re having a panic attack.”
“I am?” My voice shook.
“I want you take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds, then let it out slowly.”
I tried to follow his instructions. At first I struggled, but by the sixth time, I was managing it. Somehow I was getting my breath under control. I kept at it, focusing on the ground at my feet.
“What’s four times eight plus three?” he asked.
“Are you crazy? I don’t know!”
“Just breathe and then multiply and add the numbers. It’ll help,” he said. “Trust me.”
I closed my eyes and did the math. “Thirty-five.”
“Good.” He gave me another simple math problem, and I did that one too. We did a few more, and I was starting to feel better.
Finally, I was able to focus on Philip and could see the way he was watching me with concern. “I need to get the car from the valet and take care of the check. Are you going to be okay here for a minute?”
“I think so.”
He left me with another math problem. It was longer, and I slowly worked it out in my head.
When the car arrived, he asked if I wanted to go to the ER, but I said no, that I just wanted to go back to the house.
“How did you know how to do that?” I asked once we were driving.
“My mom started having panic attacks when my dad left. Sometimes we’d wind up in the ER, but other times I could talk her down.” He glanced at me. “Have you ever had one before?”
I nodded. “Once, after my dad died. I didn’t know what it was. Violet gave me something, and it helped me relax.”
Soon we went through the gate and were pulling up in front of his house. At least I was feeling better. Drained and tired, but not overly anxious anymore. Once upstairs, I went straight to the bedroom to change from my dress into something more comfortable—a tank top and pajama bottoms.
I sat on the end of the bed, watching Philip as he stripped out of his suit and thinking about those texts. They had Madison’s name on them, so she was obviously in his phone contacts. “How well do you know her? Why do you think she sent you sexy messages like that?”
<
br /> He shook his head. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. I don’t want it to upset you again.”
“No, answer me.”
He pulled on a pair of clean athletic pants and a white T-shirt, then came over and sat next to me on the end of the bed. He didn’t look happy. “I dated her for a short while.”
“What?” I blinked in surprise. “Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me when I asked you about her?”
“Because we only went out a few times. It wasn’t worth mentioning.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
He glanced toward the windows. “Once.”
The room went silent. I put my hand to my stomach, which had tightened into a knot. “You should have told me who she was. I don’t understand why you didn’t.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“From what? Former girlfriends?”
He nodded. “You’re not going to want to hear details about every woman I’ve been with in the same way I don’t want to hear about every guy you’ve been with.”
“Except you’ve already heard about all the guys I’ve been with. There are only three, and you’re one of them!”
He sighed. “Well, it’s been more than three for me. I’ve told you about my reputation as a dog.”
I considered his words. Did I really want to know his number? “How many are we talking about?”
He didn’t reply.
“Less than a thousand?”
That made him chuckle. “Yes, definitely less than a thousand.”
“Less than a hundred?”
He nodded.
“Less than fifty?”
He looked at me.
“More than fifty and less than a hundred?”
He nodded again. “Let’s settle somewhere in that range.”
“That’s a lot of women.”
He remained silent, but then he turned to me. His voice was rough when he spoke. “None of them were you though.”
A warmth spread through me at his words, starting in my chest and moving out to my fingertips and toes.
I focused on the cool hardwood beneath my feet and tried not to let emotion overwhelm me. “So how long ago did you date Madison?”
“We were dating when I met you.”
My brows shot up. “Well, no wonder. She probably thinks she still has a chance with you.”
“She doesn’t. I have zero interest in her.”
I didn’t say anything, still stewing over this new information. I thought about my reaction to those texts. Not only was Philip handsome, but he was rich and successful. Women probably came on to him all the time.
“Look at me, Claire.”
I took a deep breath and turned to him.
“I’ve fallen in love with you.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“I don’t want anyone else.” His eyes stayed on mine. “Only you, sweetheart.”
I nodded. “It just reminded me of everything that happened with my marriage. Next time just tell me if we come across someone you’ve dated, okay? I don’t need protecting.”
“I will.” He sighed deeply, then gazed toward the windows again. He was silent for a long moment before asking, “I screwed up earlier taking you to that dress shop too, didn’t I?”
I studied his handsome profile and told him the truth. “It was weird finding out you’d brought other women there.”
“I’m sorry, Claire.” He leaned forward and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Fuck. This is all so new for me.” He looked over, his eyes worried. “I might make some mistakes.”
Philip was always confident, so it was strange to see him vulnerable like this. I scooted closer on the bed. “This is new for me too.” I slipped an arm through his and leaned my head against his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out together.”
We were both quiet. I put my hand in his, and he threaded our fingers together.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked. “Still anxious?”
“Mostly tired.”
“That’s understandable. Do you want to lie down? I can get you something.”
“Like what?”
“A glass of wine or maybe a whiskey. It might help you relax.”
“That’s okay.” I lifted my head. “All I want is you.”
He smiled gently. “You have me.”
We went to bed. I wasn’t in the mood for anything intimate, so Philip stroked my back for a while. Instead of getting sleepy, I rolled over to face him. The room was dark, but with the starry sky outside, we could still see each other. He didn’t say anything when I moved closer, when I slipped my arms around his neck, his body warm and solid. We were both naked since we usually slept in the nude.
He grunted softly when I kissed him, our tongues slowly exploring each other’s mouths. I drew back to caress his jaw, then his cheek and forehead.
His eyes fell shut.
“I really like you,” I whispered.
“I like you too.”
“You’re different from anyone I’ve ever known.”
His eyes slid open. “I hope that’s all right.”
“It is.”
I took my time when I kissed him again. His mouth was silky, and he tasted so good. Like the lover I didn’t know I’d been waiting for, like the future I’d only dreamed of in my quietest moments. We took it slow, neither of us in a hurry. And the whole time, there was this current flowing through me, flowing through us both. Even the room seemed alive with it.
“I love you, Claire,” he whispered. “That’s never going to change.”
I hugged him close. He felt so right.
Later, as I was drifting off to sleep, I thought about falling in love with Philip, how easy that would be. Easier than anything. He was wonderful. I still wasn’t ready, but with time… maybe I would be.
Unfortunately, Philip wasn’t able to fly home with me Sunday afternoon. I was disappointed, but he promised he’d be back in time for the Pirate Days party the next weekend.
We spent all morning in bed together and then had a long parting kiss at the airport.
“I’m going to miss you, sweetheart,” he said, still holding me close. “Text me as soon as you land.”
“I will.”
“And then when you get home too.”
I smiled. “Maybe I’ll send you a photo or two when I get home.”
He drew back from me with a wicked grin. “I’d like that.” His eyes dropped to my mouth, and soon we were caught up in another searing kiss.
I pulled back, breathless. “I should go before the plane leaves without me.”
He seemed to find this amusing. “Don’t worry, that plane’s not going anywhere.”
Eventually we parted. I climbed the stairs, then waved goodbye to him still down on the tarmac. He waved back.
Once on board, it turned out it was the same crew as before—Ben, Jason, and Marnie. I was delighted.
“Hi, guys,” I said with a grin.
They greeted me with enthusiasm, and we exchanged pleasantries about our weekends.
Marnie didn’t offer me chocolate truffles this time but had a selection of pastries available. I chose a delicious apple tart.
By the time we landed back home, I felt like a seasoned vet with all this flying by private charter stuff. In truth, it was pretty nice. No long lines at the airport, no worries about lost luggage. I just got on a plane and went.
I’d left my Kia parked at the small airport in Truth Harbor, and it was still there waiting for me. I was only gone two days, but somehow it felt longer.
I texted Philip from my car, then again when I got home. That time I included a selfie of myself with some cleavage showing. He responded right away.
Philip: You’re killing me, sweetheart. I miss you so much already.
I smiled to myself, my grin a mile wide.
Claire: I miss you too.
When I went to work the next day, that smile was still inside me. I carried it within me like a lit candl
e. People commented on it everywhere I went.
“You look so pretty. Have you done something different with your hair?” a couple of my clients asked.
“Are you on a new diet?” Luanne, the checker at the grocery store, wanted to know, even though she’d just put six Kit Kat bars in my grocery bag.
Violet was studying me with a shrewd expression when I dropped off paper plates and cups that evening at Sullivan House. She’d had me pick up extras for the party on Saturday. “I gather your weekend with Philip went well?”
“Yes, it did,” I said, my outer smile matching my inner one.
She reached over and put her hand on my arm. “I’m so pleased for you, Claire. Truly.”
Later, Leah and Theo came over for dinner. The three of us sat outside eating Chinese takeout.
“So how was your weekend with Philip?” Leah asked.
I told them both about the high-tech stuff at Philip’s house and about the show we went to in Seattle. I mentioned the clothing boutique with the famous Seattle rapper I saw.
“Wow,” Theo said, digging into her rice with chopsticks. “I’d probably be impressed if I knew who that was.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard his songs on the radio,” Leah said. She sang one of his tunes.
Theo shook her head. “Nope, still no clue.”
“I saw one of the Seattle football players there too,” I said. “I think it was the running back.”
“Really?” Leah nodded with approval. “Some of those guys are so hot.”
Theo rolled her eyes. “Please. There’s nothing hot about millionaire jocks running around tackling each other. Football is barbaric and idiotic.”
“No, it’s not,” Leah said. “They’re incredible athletes.”
Theo gave her a look. “Who cares? I doubt they even have two brain cells to rub together.
“You guys always argue about the same things,” I said, shaking my head. I heard music for a moment and gazed toward the main house. “I think the DJ is here setting up the sound system for the party.”
Leah looked at me with sympathy. She’d been to Pirate Days parties in the past and knew how hard this was for me. “Are you okay?”
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