“Of course it is.”
“Take a look around. Your mom and Eliza are fine. Both of them are living happy lives.”
I didn’t respond. She couldn’t possibly understand the kind of deep-seated worries I’d had to live with. Those wolves were plenty real. I was glad for her though. I would never want her to have those kinds of fears.
“And now you’re going to destroy everything,” she went on heatedly. “Not only this town but you and me. Just to get back at a man who isn’t even worth it!”
“It has to be done.”
“No, it doesn’t. You can still drop this whole thing.” She threw her hands up. “How can we be together otherwise?”
“Don’t ask this of me, Claire. Anything but this!” I slapped the brick wall beside me. “What has this town ever done for you? Is it so much that you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness?”
She went still, and her face changed. Right away I realized my mistake. I’d questioned her loyalty to her home.
“Sweetheart,” I pleaded. “Choose me.” But I knew it was too late. I knew the same way I always knew when a deal was dead in the water. It was finished. Over.
“That’s the problem,” she said, her gaze level on mine. “I shouldn’t have to choose at all.”
Chapter Thirty
~ Claire ~
The next morning was bright and sunny, though it shouldn’t have been. The birds were chirping in the woods, and Quicksilver and Calico Jack were singing right along with them.
I’d been awake all night, lying in bed and going over everything.
In one day I’d gone from the dizzying heights of happiness to the depths of despair.
Philip would be back in Seattle by now, back to that big empty house of his. He’d only have his religious cult to keep him company. I smiled a little, remembering our joke.
My phone buzzed, and I reached for it, hoping it was him telling me he’d changed his mind yet knowing it wasn’t. It was Violet. She wanted to see if I was okay and invited me up to the house for breakfast. There were other messages too: four from Leah, a few more from Eliza and Sylvia.
I rolled onto my side, staring at the empty half of my bed.
How could I be with a man who planned to destroy my hometown? I loved him, but I couldn’t accept that. Especially when he didn’t have to do it.
My heart ached at the expression on his face last night. That wounded thirteen-year-old boy was still there, plain as day.
I decided to get up and join Violet. There was no point in lying here feeling sorry for myself. I’d felt sorry for myself a lot after Ethan left, and I didn’t want to fall into that black hole again. She probably needed help getting the house back in order anyway.
After feeding my birds, I threw on jean shorts and a white T-shirt, slipped on a pair of flip-flops, and headed up to the main house.
I could tell it was going to be a hot day. Bees buzzed near the flowerpots, and the air felt thick as honey. There was a hint of wood smoke from the bonfires last night. Normally I loved mornings like this.
I entered through the back door, glancing around the great room. It looked like they’d already cleaned up, though there were still some decorations to take down, a few clothing items left behind to return, and furniture that needed to be moved back into place.
When I heard voices, I followed the sound into the dining room, figuring it was Violet and Daphne. Instead there was a table full of people.
To my dismay, two of them were Ethan and Ivy. I stopped in the doorway, instantly realizing my mistake. I’d forgotten it was Sunday. Their day to have breakfast here.
“Come on in, Claire.” Violet motioned me over. “Join us.”
I was tempted to grab a cup of coffee and go. I didn’t want to deal with those two. But then I thought, No, this is my house as well.
“There’s plenty of food on the sideboard,” Violet said as I walked over to get a plate. “I can have Esmé make more eggs if those aren’t enough.”
“This is fine,” I murmured. I felt everyone’s eyes on me.
Violet began to discuss some people she’d spoken to at the party last night, and I sensed awkwardness in the room. It was like no one knew what to say now that I was here.
I brought my plate and mug over to the only empty chair at the table. To my surprise, it was right next to Doug. I hadn’t even noticed him.
Unfortunately, Ethan was on the other side, and he jumped up and pulled the chair out for me. “Let me help,” he said eagerly, trying to take my mug, but I moved it out of his reach.
“It’s fine, I’ve got it.” I took a seat, trying to ignore him.
“Would you like cream?” he asked, bringing it over. I didn’t look at Ivy, but I could sense her disapproval.
“Thanks.” I poured cream into my coffee and then turned to Doug. “It’s nice to see you this morning.”
He smiled nervously. “How are you, Claire? I hope… you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I said, peppering my eggs.
Violet was talking about the places our mayor was traveling to in retirement, but it seemed like she was just filling the air with words.
Daphne was sitting beside Doug, watching me with compassion. “Are you really okay, Claire?”
I chewed my food. Of course I wasn’t really okay, but how was I supposed to answer that? “Well.” I shrugged. “You know how it goes.”
She nodded.
“How is… Philip?” Doug asked. “I mean… after I punched him last night. I hope I didn’t hurt him too much. Was he in pain?”
Ivy snorted. “Who cares if he was in pain? That asshole deserved a lot worse than a punch in the face.”
I glanced over at her, ready to get into it, but then realized the strange position I was in. I couldn’t defend Philip’s actions. I was breaking up with him because of them.
She smirked at me. “You sure know how to pick ’em, don’t you?”
“Let’s not start this,” Violet said to her daughter. “We need to give Claire whatever space she requires. This can’t be easy for her.”
“Philip is not a bad person,” Doug spoke up. “He’s helped me a lot. In fact, he helps people all the time.”
Ivy rolled her eyes while she absentmindedly shredded a napkin. The plate of food in front of her was barely eaten. My guess was she needed a cigarette. “Yes, Mr. Moneybags sounds like a real prince. We should ask him if he’d like to run for town mayor.”
“I’ll remind you, Philip is still Doug’s cousin,” Violet said in a stern voice. “And it’s rude to besmirch a member of his family.”
I had to admit, it surprised me that Violet was so solicitous toward Doug. She must have really mellowed out. That he was here at the table next to Daphne said it all. There was no way she would have approved of him as a suitor in the past.
“Whatever,” Ivy muttered. “I’m not going to pretend to like the guy.”
“Have you and Philip broken up, then?” Ethan asked, leaning toward me.
I swallowed a bite of food. “Yes we have.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that. Is there anything I could do to help?”
“Help?” I picked up my mug of coffee and glanced at him. “Like how?”
“I’m not sure. I could mow your lawn or something.”
My brows went up. “You want to mow my lawn?” I sensed Ivy’s eyes on both of us, her body tensing as she watched this conversation.
“Sure. You might not be feeling up to it.”
“No, that’s okay.” I put my mug down. The last thing I wanted was Ethan going into his good-guy routine and hanging around the carriage house.
“I might be able to help in other ways too.”
Ivy snapped, “Are you fucking kidding me with this?”
Ethan and I looked at her. The whole table did. Violet put her hand up in warning. “Ivy, this isn’t the time or place, and I don’t appreciate that sort of language.”
She threw down the napkin she’d
been shredding, turning on Ethan. “You want to mow her lawn? Wax her car? Maybe you guys should have a sleepover and braid each other’s hair.”
He opened his mouth. “It’s not like that. I just want to help.”
“And I don’t want his help,” I added.
“Oh, please.” Ivy glared at me. “You’d love any excuse to be around him. Once a betrayer, always a betrayer.”
“You would know, wouldn’t you?”
She scoffed. “Like you didn’t start this whole thing. There’s no need to keep pretending you’re innocent.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re crazy. Are you still going on about me catching you with Derek in the carriage house? Nobody cares about that anymore.”
“Derek?” Ivy laughed. “I wasn’t with Derek, and you know it!”
I blinked at her. “What do you mean? Who were you with?”
She glanced at Ethan, and I went still. Cold awareness flooded through me. The truth sank in with a shock. It made sense now. I didn’t know why it had never occurred to me before. After all these years, so many puzzle pieces fell into place.
I looked at Ethan. “My God, it was you that summer, wasn’t it?”
He licked his lips and seemed nervous. “I thought you knew. Or I did at first anyway.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because you ratted us out to my mom,” Ivy interjected. “Even after I begged you not to. But you wanted him for yourself, didn’t you? It wasn’t enough you had everything else. A wonderful father who loved you. This amazing house. But you wanted Ethan too. You knew my mom would tell him to stay away from me, and that’s exactly what happened.”
Her outburst flabbergasted me. I never knew Ivy felt that way. I glanced at Violet, who appeared deep in thought. “I never said anything to your mom. I didn’t even know that was Ethan with you in the carriage house.”
“Stop lying!”
“I’m not.”
“Oh really? Then who told my mom about us?”
“I did,” Daphne’s soft voice said.
Ivy startled and turned to her sister. “What?”
“I’m the one who told Mom about you and Ethan that summer.”
The room went so quiet, I could hear the lawn sprinklers out back. My mind was still processing that Ethan and Ivy had a relationship all those years ago before we did. Not to mention this jealousy toward me. If only I’d known.
“Why?” Ivy asked her. “Why would you do such a thing? How could you?”
Daphne glanced at Violet. “Because it wasn’t right what you two were doing. None of it.”
Ivy leaned back in her chair. “This is unbelievable. My own sister.”
Violet nodded. “Daphne came to me and told me what was going on, but don’t blame her. I did what any mother with a sixteen-year-old daughter would have done.”
“And you.” Ivy turned to Ethan. “You never told Claire about us? In all that time you were together?”
Ethan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Well, I figured she knew. After a while, it became obvious she didn’t know, but how could I tell her then?”
“So you kept the lie going.” Ivy seemed to get more upset. “You didn’t want her to know. She really meant that much to you?”
“We were married. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
“And now we’re married, but you don’t seem to mind hurting me.” Ivy shoved herself up from the table, bumping it and rattling the dishes. “I’ve had enough. If you still want Claire so much, then go back to her. I don’t care anymore.”
I opened my mouth in protest. I didn’t want him. She couldn’t unload him on me.
Ivy tried to leave, but Ethan’s hand flew out and grabbed her wrist.
“Let go!”
“No.” Ethan’s face was intense. “I’m not letting go. Not now, not ever. That summer meant just as much to me as it did to you.”
She stood there, and I watched as her gaze settled on him.
“I’m not losing you again,” he told her. “If I have to fight for you, then I will.”
He held her wrist, and in that moment, something passed between them. Something intimate that I recognized. Ivy’s eyes softened, and I had a revelation.
They loved each other.
As strange as it sounded, I’d never quite gotten that before. I guess I didn’t want to think about it. Or I wanted to pretend it was lust or some kind of affection, not real love. And my heart grieved because the thing I recognized between them was what Philip and I had. It was the way we looked at each other.
Ivy’s gaze hardened. “And what about Claire? Do you still love her too?”
Ethan shook his head. “No, I don’t. Not like this.” He glanced at me. “Sorry, Claire.”
Ivy pulled her wrist away. “Then why did you go to her house? Why all this attention on her?”
“Because I feel guilty. I never wanted to hurt her. Claire and I were once close.”
That didn’t seem to placate Ivy. Just the opposite. Her scowl deepened.
“Listen to me.” Ethan lowered his voice. “You’ve always been the one I wanted. But you have to stop pushing me away, stop this pointless jealousy, because you’re ruining everything.”
Ivy blinked at him.
“I fell in love with you that summer,” he said, his voice heated, “and that’s never changed.”
I couldn’t explain it, but as I watched the two of them, I had a moment of clarity. I decided to forgive them both. Forgive them for everything. I thought I’d moved on, and I had, but a part of me was still angry. As long as I carried that anger, the wound from their betrayal would never heal.
I took a deep breath, and it was like a great burden had been lifted from me. Let them be happy. Their paths and mine had diverged. Our lives were separate.
Ethan and Ivy.
Ivy Spivy.
Okay, I’m allowed a little pleasure at that name.
My way of handling the breakup with Philip was to keep busy nonstop. Scrubbing and cleaning with a fervor, it was like I’d gone back in time, trying to find my Zen place again, creating order in the universe where there was none.
I met with Taylor too and gave her a couple of shifts. I was right about her. She was energetic and responsible. Both of the clients I spoke with afterward said they really liked her. I could tell she was going to be an asset to my business. It turned out she was older than I’d thought too. She looked like a teenager but was nearly my age.
Thankfully, nobody in town called me “Poor Claire.” Instead they were helpful and kind. Isabel came by and brought me some of her family’s famous strawberry shortcake. Even Delores, the town gossip, brought me a casserole and didn’t pump me for too much information.
Philip became public enemy number one. Especially after contracts were signed and somebody sent around the video link from YouTube, a short clip taken from some financial news network. I watched it, though I shouldn’t have. To my surprise, Philip and Gavin were both wearing suits. What happened to the outlaws? Philip looked pale, and his expression remained stony even when Gavin was speaking to him about something.
I decided the best thing I could do was move forward, so that was what I did. I went to the movies with Doug and Daphne one night. And then I met Leah and Theo for dinner a couple nights later. I told them I didn’t want a pity party.
“But pity parties have ice cream,” Theo pointed out.
“And alcohol,” Leah complained. “You can’t deny us the right to throw you a pity party after a breakup this momentous.”
I sighed. “Fine.”
We had the party at Leah’s house, since my place was too small, and Theo’s boyfriend, Clement, was back from Guatemala. I didn’t want to risk another two-hour dissertation on the horned passalus beetle. There was ice cream, fancy drinks, and a stack of chick flicks we binged on until everyone fell asleep.
The next day, despite being tired, I finally finished organizing my spare room. And then I put the rest of my focus on c
oming up with a new name for my business.
Yes, I was taking Philip’s advice.
I got out some paper and wrote down different names and then looked them up online. I tried drawing some of my ideas with a logo, but I wasn’t much of an artist. A couple hours into it, I heard a car coming down the driveway.
I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I got up and peeked out the window, and when I saw Sylvia’s silver SUV, my heart stopped. I could barely breathe. Is it Philip? What’s he doing here? I went into a blind panic. I hadn’t showered since yesterday. Sticky with sweat and no makeup, I ran around the room, fanning myself with my hands. Quickly I pulled my hair out of its bun and flipped my head upside down, trying to fluff it out.
Turned out it was only Eliza.
She took in my flustered appearance. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, fine.” I tried to catch my breath. “I was just… exercising.”
She nodded and came inside.
“Would you like anything?” I asked, moving into my kitchen. “Lemonade or water? I might have some soda left.”
“Lemonade sounds good. I can’t believe you’re exercising in this hot weather.”
“Oh.” I shrugged. “I just felt like it.”
We both went into the main room, where I put our glasses on the table next to my bed while she talked to my birds, both of them chirping and fluttering around.
“Would you like to hold one of them?” I asked.
She turned to me with excitement. Her topknot wasn’t as high today, bouncing instead of wobbling. “Do you think they’d mind?”
“There’s one way to find out.” I came over and opened the cage door, letting Calico Jack step up onto my finger. “He’s a little friendlier than your great-grandfather’s namesake.”
“Kiss, kiss,” he squawked when I passed him over to her.
She giggled. “His claws are scratchy. And he’s so light.”
I nodded. “They weigh practically nothing.”
I left for a second to close all the curtains and cover the mirror, making sure things were safe before my birds flew around.
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