by Devin Nishea
Straight No Chaser:
The Beginning
By: Devin Nishea
Copyright © 2016 by Devin N. Cofield
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher and author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living, or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the story a a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places and incidents is entirely coincidental.
ISBN-13 978-1539897255
ISBN-10 1539897257
Edited by: Literacy Moguls, Dr. Shekina Moore
Cover Design and Book format: Brian Hamilton
I dedicate this book to my munchkin, my Boop, my heartbeat, my “why"…
Alanaa Nicole
Baby, know the sky is the limit and that you can do ALL things through Christ!
I also dedicate this book to my first love, and now, my heavenly angel—my daddy. Thank you, Daddy, for everything you showed me through your actions.
Table Of Contents
Straight No Chaser:
The Beginning
By: Devin Nishea
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 1
As I lie on the bed in pain I couldn’t help but to think a little piece of my life, I would never get back. In pain, thoughts of not being enough swirled through my mind. Will I ever be married? Will I bounce back from what seems like a set back? Will I ever get over this shame I’ve endured?
****
“Okay, here comes another! Okay, sweetie, I need you to push,” Dr. Sharon said.
I pushed as hard as I could. Here I was bringing a life into this world, single, scared and feeling so…I don’t even know the word—Ahh, yes…ALONE!! The worst feeling in the world is to be surrounded by people but yet feel so friggin’ alone.
I felt more uncomfortable pressure. Oh, God…another contraction.
“Okay, sweetie, I need you to push,” said Dr. Sharon.
When is this child going to be out of me!? I hadn’t had anything to eat since Saturday morning and it was now late Saturday night going into Sunday morning. I had been contracting since 5 AM Friday! This little guy needed to come ON!
“Okay, the next contraction, I need you to give me a big push, sweetheart,” Dr. Sharon said.
“Oh, God! Can I please push NOW?” I screamed.
Contracting and being in labor for that long had taken a toll on my body and, more importantly, my friggin’ patience. I was beyond ready to hold what I knew was going to be the cutest, most adorable baby in the world.
“Go ahead and push when you’re ready,” Dr. Sharon agreed.
That was it. I had no more left in me. I thought the actresses on TV were exaggerating. I was exhausted and I was tired of people in my personal space.
Luckily, with that last push, my child was now here. As soon as he was out, the nurses took him to clean him off. And just like that, my help, the ones holding my hands, left to go see him. I was already being ignored and it hadn’t even been a whole minute, yet! All I could do was laugh to myself.
The nurses brought this perfect child to me and put him in my arms. I couldn’t believe it.
I. Was. Somebody’s MAMA!
Wow, and just to think, months prior I didn’t know if I even wanted to be somebody’s mama. But here I was, holding this pale, green-eyed baby that I was supposed to take care of for the rest of my life. I couldn’t believe it. He was perfect, and I know every mama says it, but my child really was the most handsome baby…ever! Hands down. Everyone in the waiting room was made aware of his debut and was excited to see him—but they had to wait. Man, was I exhausted! And hungry!
After getting me into another room, the nursing staff brought an unappetizing frozen dinner for me to eat. After bonding with the baby, I eventually drifted off to sleep with 1,000 visits from the nursing staff checking on me throughout the night.
The next morning the baby was rolled back into my room, a little earlier than I thought.
This ended sleep as I knew it.
This day was going to prove challenging for me. I knew the room was going to see a lot of traffic, especially after everyone got out of church. Not only that, I was going to have to try and breast feed. Ouch. After the nurse got the baby in the room, she left! I was shocked. I thought she was going to stick around; I didn’t know what I was doing! Luckily, he didn’t cry.
The baby’s aunts were the first visitors of the day. What I didn’t realize until after the baby was born, was that I had to have an episiotomy. Looking back, I’m glad they didn’t tell me while it was happening. I probably would’ve freaked out, and rightfully so. After having it, it made me feel like everything was going to fall out of me (Gross!), as I was getting up to walk to the bathroom. As the nurse was walking with me to the restroom I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. Although not even 24 hours ago, I had what seemed like a thousand people in my vajayjay.
Just as I thought, the day was busy and later that evening, I was exhausted again after all the visitation from family members and friends.
Soon enough, came the time for me to go home—thank God! I couldn’t wait to get back to my bed, my pillows, my bathtub, and my wash cloths. Just my stuff. Next, came the realest tests of my life. Would I be a good parent? With everything I’d gone through to bring this child into the world, would I be able to provide for him the way I wanted and needed to?
Welp, we were about to see—ready or not!
All of this anxiety inside of one person should be illegal.
Tonight was going to be my first night by myself, at home with the most adorable baby ever. And, yes, I was scared.
But, um…
I guess, by now, you’re wondering where my munchkin’s father was? Well…with his wife!
This can’t be my life.
Chapter 2
18 months prior
I was out shopping one day, for shoes of course, and as I was coming out of my favorite shoe store, I wasn’t paying attention and I bumped into a person. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry,” I said as I was getting myself together. He looked at me and, as we locked eyes, he said, “no problem at all.”
“Oh my gosh, are you ok? I wasn’t paying attention, I have a lot on my mind and here I am about to take you out,” I rambled. I can’t even begin to tell you what I was talking about.
He interrupted me, “Ma’am, ma’am…hey, it’s ok. No damage was done, we’re good.” he said.
Once I slowed down and looked at him…I mean really looked at him, I saw how handsome he was. I mean that grown man handsome, that I’m about my business handsome. His skin was a nice smooth milk chocolate, his teeth were so white and straight a
nd his smile…OH MY GOSH. His smile!
After my quick survey of him I said, “Oh, okay, good. Well, have a nice day!” I walked on, in search of my next store. As I walked away, I couldn’t help but take a glimpse back at him; I smiled, he was still there standing, watching me walk away. I quickly turned around before I bumped into someone or something else, and disappeared into another store.
After a long day of shopping, I called a girlfriend of mine to meet for dinner and drinks; my girl, Amy.
Amy and I met in college our freshman year during summer orientation. We immediately hit it off. For me that was a great thing because none of my friends from my high school attended the college that I chose to attend. This girl had seen the good, bad and the absolute ugly of my life. But, we still remained friends over the years!
By the time I got to the restaurant, she was already there waiting for me. “Hey girl, the traffic out there was crazy! What’s going on!? What did you do today,” I asked as I hugged her.
“Girl, after my date last night I went home and crashed. When I finally woke up…” Amy said. I had to interrupt because Amy doesn’t really date.
“Oh…wait a minute, miss girl…date? You…went on a date and you were just going to skate right on over that sentence like you didn’t even say anything? No ma’am, so who’d you go out with?” I asked.
“Girl, you so dang nosey and I didn’t even mean for that information to slip out!” she admitted.
“Welp, ya said it now, sooooo, spill it Lucy Pearl!” I exclaimed.
Amy had finally accepted the date of this nice-looking man that had been pursuing her for a while. I told her she was crazy for not going out with him months prior.
Come to find out, this man was a Financial Analyst for a Fortune 500 company. I have to admit, I didn’t know what a Financial Analyst did or was, but it sounded important and like they made a lot of money!
“Girl, he was so dang boring, I literally almost fell asleep at the table while we were eating.” she said disappointingly.
I laughed because of the facial expressions she made. “Oh girl,” I said laughing. “I’m sorry it didn’t go like you thought, sweetie. But, hey, at least you got your butt out of the house, right!?”
“I guess, but dannnggggg… is it too much to ask to make me laugh? Tell me a joke, do something, say something stupid for me to laugh at? I do it all the time.” she said frustratingly.
“I know how you feel. Dating is not my favorite thing, but if we want to be married one day, unfortunately, we have to go through the duds.” I told her.
The waiter brought out our food and drinks. After the week I had, I ordered an Old Fashioned to hit the spot; and boy did it.
After catching up with Amy and after my third Old Fashioned, she tilted her head and said, “Ok I’ve tried ignoring it, but this is your third drink. What’s going on?” she demanded.
I hesitated, “It’s over. Me and Jake. We. Are. Over. I gave myself one week to have a pity party then I could get up, dust myself off and move forward. Today is day 4. Did a little shopping, now, a little drinking. Girl, I’m good.” I reassured her.
“You’re over? What? What happened?” Amy asked.
“I thought we were good. Until I started noticing the little things he used to do, he wasn’t doing anymore. The cute little texts, the way he stroked my hair, it all stopped and I couldn’t figure it out. Then the calls started to get less and less. So, I got fed up, of course, and asked him to come over one night… and asked him what was up. And that’s when he told me that he’d met someone else and he didn’t want us anymore.” I explained.
“What did you say?” Amy asked.
“Girl, all I could say was say, ‘ok’. I couldn’t deal and instead of cheating why didn’t he just tell me what was up? I mean, I give you two years of my life, swerving guys every other day and for what, for my man? Girl, I’m…,” I paused.
“You’re what?” Amy asked.
“Never mind, I was about to say I was done with men, but that’s the alcohol trying to talk.” as we both laughed. We talked more so I could sober up. As we waited for our cars from valet, we hugged and parted ways.
As I got in my car, I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Nothing like a night with your girl, just talking and catching up and laughing ‘til your abs hurt.
I pulled into the drive way of my house and I couldn’t wait to get inside, take a shower and finish unwinding from the day.
I walked into the house to an apple cinnamon vanilla type aroma. I bought this air freshener as a test and, surprisingly, it smelled pretty good.
I took off my heels at the door and proceeded to check the house to make sure I was the only one inside. I walked into the kitchen to see what wines I had in the fridge already chilled. Nothing I wanted, so I grabbed the bottle of whiskey a friend of mine shipped from Seattle and poured a glass and proceeded to my room.
I picked up my cell phone and, as much as I wanted to call Jake, I decided against it. Instead I sent Amy a text letting her know I made it home safely. I put my phone on silent and just laid across the bed staring at the ceiling. Then I felt a tear roll down the side of my face. Then, I felt another tear roll down the other side of my face. I was upset all over again and my tears threw me back into reality. I was thinking about life again. I was single again and had to readjust, again, to the single life.
This man was my world and I loved him with every ounce of me and now he was gone. No more hand-holding; no more cooking dinner and cuddling on the couch for a movie; no more bae-cations. Just no more anything! Table for one was all I was hearing now. Wow, it was so easy for him to just pick up and leave. What was wrong with me that made him leave? Did I not talk enough? Did I gain weight? Did I not love him enough?
These questions and more rushed through my head again, for the umpteenth time that week. I finally pulled myself off the bed after lying there for two hours. I picked up my whiskey and took a sip and, as it hit the back of my throat, I closed my eyes and took another sip. I got up off the bed, walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I undressed and got into the hot and steamy shower and it seemed as if my body melted as the hot water hit my skin. I stood under the water for what seemed like hours. I don’t know what happened but the tears started flowing again. This time instead of just tears streaming my face, I started sobbing and fell to my knees in the shower and just cried it out.
I couldn’t control myself and I couldn’t get a grip this time. This pain right now, at this moment, I couldn’t handle. I don’t know how I did it, but I finished my shower and still crying, dried myself off, put my favorite robe on and sat down on my bed again. Grabbed my glass of whiskey and drank. I looked down at my phone and saw my message indicator light blinking. I picked it up and a piece of me was hoping it was a missed call from Jake, but instead, I had a text from Amy, some emails from work and a missed call from my mama. When I saw she had called I rolled my eyes and threw my phone back on the bed. I hadn’t told her about the break up yet and I was not in the mood to talk to her about it yet. As a matter of fact, today was my first day out of the house other than going to work.
I’d been avoiding all phone calls, but I had to get out of the house today and feel human again. My job allowed me to work from home part of the week because of a “stomach thing” I caught. This made it easier for me to just stay home away from the real world, while I sorted through the break up. But, I didn’t get it. This was the first time a break up had me like this. I mean, normally I would cry and be upset for one day and move on, but this time around…
Maybe it was because we were together so long. You know one miserable night for each year we were together. As I thought about how long we were together, I was over my allotted number of days to sulk. This was day four!
“Awe Zen girl…tonight is the LAST night for this mess!” I declared to myself. Tomorrow is a new freakin’ day and you will NOT cry about this tomorrow. We’re putting a stop to this right now. No, you
didn’t deserve what he did to you but guess what, it happened. And there’s nothing you can do about it, girl. So, why are you worried?” I said out loud to myself.
As I sat on my bed with my drink in my hand, I wiped my face and searched for a movie to watch. Something funny, none of that romantic bull crap!! I went and popped some popcorn and cuddled up on my couch and watched the movie until it watched me.
Chapter 3
The light that peeked through my blinds and curtains woke me out of my sound sleep. The TV was still on from the night before and my uneaten popcorn was on the coffee table. I laid there for a while to take in my surroundings before getting up to move around. It took me a few minutes to figure out what day it was and I realized it was Sunday. After my day of drinking, I was surprised that my head wasn’t being used as some band’s drum line.
I sat up on the sofa and looked around the room, took in a deep breath, got up and started moving around. I cleaned up my popcorn feast from the night before, the little bit of whiskey I didn’t get to drink before dozing off, I poured down the drain. I proceeded to make some coffee.
I normally attend church on Sundays, but I realized I overslept. It was already 11 AM!! I walked back to my room and spotted my phone on the bed. I kind of hated to pick it up to see what I missed Saturday night. Against my better judgment, I picked it up and there it was.
Two missed calls from mama. One text from mama and one text from Amy, one missed text from my sister and one missed call from an unknown number.
I debated listening to my voicemail. But went ahead and listened anyway. My mama was going on and on about avoiding her calls and I needed to call her back to let her know I was still in the “land of the living.” The text from her said the same. All I could do was yell at my phone “I’m okay, mama. Dang!” I hung up the phone and didn’t bother listening to see if I had more messages. I put the phone on the charger and started to clean. Sometimes cleaning and de-cluttering helped me through whatever I was going through. The first things that had to go…Jake’s things.