by Devin Nishea
I walked inside the coffee shop, ordered an extra hot caramel latte and grabbed a table. Amy sent me a picture of Robert the night before so I’d know what he looked like. I arrived maybe ten minutes before our scheduled time. I sat at the table positioned so I could see him when he walked in. Our scheduled time came and went. Amy just so happened to text me as I was about to text her, to see how things were going.
Hey girl, just checking to see how things are going.
I simply responded,
I’d be able to tell you if he were here!
My phone rang and I picked up on the first ring.
“He’s not there?” Amy sounded pissed.
“Nooope. Not yet. We agreed on 11am. It’s been 20 minutes and I’m trying my best to give him the benefit of the doubt,” I told her.
“Um, yeah, I understand all of that, but either way he’s late and it doesn’t sound like he’s called to give you an explanation,” she said.
“Nooope, he hasn’t. Ten more minutes and I’m out,” I said calmly.
This would be the reason I hate blind dates that are set up by friends. I’m not upset with Amy about his flakiness, but she obviously thought highly of him to mention my name.
As I sat there counting down my last ten minutes, I took in the sites and aroma of the coffee shop. I loved this place because of its quaint homey atmosphere. The staff was great. I came here enough for everyone to know my name and vice versa.
When they saw me come through the door, they always knew the drink I wanted. I told them one day I was going to order something different just to trip them up. It hasn’t happened yet and I said that two years ago. I looked around and saw they added new paintings by the main entrance and the patio entrance.
All of the paintings hanging were by local artists. I even bought a few for my house. What I loved most about the shop were the coffee cups. No cup was the same, some looked like antiques, some looked like fine China. I got so caught up in my surroundings, when I looked at the time it was 11:45 AM.
I finished my latte, gathered my things and left. Still no phone call or text from Robert, explaining himself by the time I walked to the car. What a waste of an outfit.
By this time I was starving, so, I decided to go to my favorite brunch spot.
I shot Amy a quick text letting her know her friend had officially stood me up. I looked up from my phone and saw this guy walking into Black Bean. As I looked closer, it looked just like the guy I literally bumped into months prior.
I said out loud, “That can’t be him!” He was still as sexy as I remembered.
I started my car and proceeded to pick up something to eat. As I was driving I couldn’t help but hearing my ego deflate. Really? You opt to stand me up instead of call and say that something had come up and couldn’t make it?
“Jerk,” I said out loud.
I pulled up to the restaurant and parked my car. I saw they were pretty busy, but hopefully there was a seat at the bar waiting for me. I glanced down at my phone and read Amy’s response to Robert not showing, “Jerk!”
I laughed and proceeded to walk inside.
The hostess asked how many in my party and I asked if there was room at the bar for one. She walked over to check for me and motioned for me to come over.
As I got closer to where she was, I saw she had a place for me by another young lady.
When I took a closer look, I noticed that I knew her. I walked up behind her and said in a deep voice, “Hey, baby, is this seat taken?”
Amy flung around so fast in her chair and I yelled, “Wasssuuuuppp!” We both laughed.
“Oh, girl, you were about to be slapped!” she exclaimed.
I laughed and said, “Ha! Yeah-yeah.”
We hugged and sat down together and the hostess left us alone.
“Well funny running into you here!” I was really excited to see her.
“I know right. Listen, I’m sorry about Robert. I’m so pissed with him right now,” Amy said.
“Well, it’s not cool, but it’s cool.” I responded. My ego is a little bruised but I’m good.”
“And he still hadn’t called you to explain?” she inquired.
“Nope. Okay, let’s not talk about him,” I begged.
The bartender took our drink orders as we looked over the menu. By the time our bartender brought us our first mimosa, we ordered our food.
“So, miss girl,” I said. “What’s been going on with you, since you know all of my business?” We both laughed.
“Well, I got a promotion that was finalized on Thursday!” Amy exclaimed.
“Girl, get out of here! Congratulations! Raise your glass.” I said as we toasted to her success.
“And the guy I went out with a few months ago, the one you couldn’t believe I went out with. Well, it looks like it’s getting more serious,” Amy said.
I screamed, “OMG!!” I actually got up and did a happy dance for her. I laughed, the bartender laughed. I asked the bartender for another mimosa.
“Umm dancing like that miss girl, you don’t need another,” Amy joked.
We laughed and ate our food and talked until we were all talked out.
“So?” I asked as I placed some of my omelet in my mouth.
“So, what?” she asked.
“Tell me about this dude, let me live vicariously through your dating life.” I told her as I laughed.
“Well, we both know how I am about men. I can be hard on them, I admit that, but if they can put up with all of that I know they have some substance to them,” she said smiling hard.
So, I had to ask, “So, what made him so different?”
“Remember my car had broken down a few months ago and I was stressing about it? Well, he paid for the repairs. All $3,500 of it! I didn’t ask him to do it, didn’t hint to him anything. He didn’t flinch, whipped out the checkbook and BAM! Plopped it on the table like he had just won a Spades game. And when I tried paying him back he wouldn’t accept it. Not only that, he goes with me to church and prays for me and with me,” she shook her head in amazement.
I was so happy for my friend for opening up and allowing love to flow. I’d been waiting for this moment for her for so long!
I looked at her and said, “Awe, look at you blushing. I don’t think I’ve seen you blush before. Oh my god, I’m so happy for you.”
“I am happy, Zen! So far, he has exceeded my expectations, but the relationship is still new, so I’m still a little cautious,” she said.
“Okay, okay…I understand. Bartender! Another mimosa, please. So, are you guys going out tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’s coming over for dinner and a movie,” she said smiling.
By this time, we had been sitting at the bar for three hours! And our bottomless mimosas—yeah, we were working on our fourth one. I asked the bartender for coffee so I could sober up before driving myself home. I excused myself to the restroom.
When I walk in I overhear two girls talking in the stalls. That’s always awkward when I walk in and hear conversations going. Well, one girl was talking about how she had a feeling her boyfriend was cheating on her.
“Girl, how do you figure he’s cheating?” one of the girls asked.
“Because I read his text messages last night and one of the messages said how she was looking forward to tomorrow, and she enjoyed talking to him on the phone the other night,” the other girl replied.
I stopped in my tracks. I washed my hands quickly and, staggered my way back to Amy.
I looked Amy dead in her face.
“Well, I know why your boy was a no show today. He has a girl!” I said.
Amy looked at me confused and said, “Huh?”
“Yep, overheard two girls talking about how she thought her man was cheating and how she read a text last night from another girl about meeting today and how she enjoyed speaking with him the other night on the phone,” I said.
Before she could even say anything, I whipped out my phone and let her re
ad our messages.
“Oh, my god, Zen, I swear I didn’t know, I…” Amy said
I cut her off mid-sentence, “Hey, I know you wouldn’t do anything like that to me let alone anyone else.”
“Man, wait until I speak to him.” Amy said infuriated. Oh, let me call him now,” she said.
Her call went to voicemail, of course.
“Hey Robert, it’s Amy. Listen, I was calling to see how it went this morning with Zen. I hope all went well. I hadn’t heard from her yet and, since I’m talking to your voicemail, I’m hoping you two are together! Give me a call,” she said sweetly.
After she hung up, we both looked at each other and said, “Jerk,” and exploded in laughter.
Chapter 6
Some time passed and the dating scene was getting tired. I started coming across the same guys, just different names. So I took this time to make sure I was working on me before jumping into a relationship. One night while I was sitting in the quietness and stillness of the evening on my patio with my glass of wine, I realized I was trying to mask my pain and heartache with someone else instead of healing my heart first. Simple, yet profound. I couldn’t believe something so simple could literally change my life. I couldn’t just let my work consume me and think I was healing.
At that very moment I went into the house, found an empty journal and pen and perched on the patio and began to write. I didn’t have anything in particular to write about.
I knew I needed to rearrange my life, so I simply asked myself, “What makes Zen happy?”
After sitting in the lounge chair for fifteen minutes, unable to think of one thing, I knew there was a problem.
Not one thing? This revealed to me that, in my relationships, I only catered to his needs and happiness. Not good. So, I began to think about the things I used to do, that brought me genuine joy and laughter to my soul and life. I realized this was it, “operation get your life back.” I was a little excited about it, to be completely honest. All this time I think I conformed to how everyone around me wanted me to live my life, instead of sticking to my convictions and doing what I knew would make me happy. The more I thought about it, the more it overwhelmed me a little. I had to undo all of these years and start from scratch. It can’t be done overnight but it will be done.
So, where do I start? I decided to start with “me time.” That’s the only way I saw myself getting back to me. But I didn’t want to completely cut people out of my life in the process, because, truth be told, I could be by myself—all day, everyday!
“Maybe that’s what I need to do. Cut out the distractions; just me and God,” I thought to myself. If I have outside distractions it could hinder what I’m trying to do.”
By this time I was pacing around my house, with my journal in hand. This thing became attached to my hip. I always had it with me in case I became inspired, wanted to jot down an idea or two. I became a professional journal-er. If that’s a word! I laughed out loud at myself.
I read back over some things I had previously written down. And on the top of one of the pages, I had written “FEARS” in capital letters. On the lines below it, the first on my list was a fear of heights. Then I asked myself, “How are you going to get over this?” I’d flown in a plane hundreds of times for both business and pleasure, and still… scared. I’d even sit in the window seat and I’d still be scared. I laughed at myself again.
I had this bright idea and ran to my laptop, opened it and began to do a search for races. I thought I could knock some things out quickly in one full swoop.
I found the race I heard so much about from my run group. There, I did it. I signed up for a half marathon on the coast that would include running over a 2-mile bridge with tons of flowing water underneath.
As soon as I pressed submit, I said out loud, “What the hell did I just do!?” Oh my god, I have a fit driving over bodies of water, now I just decided to RUN over a body of water!? Great, good job Zen. Never mind the fact that I’ve never run a half marathon before. Good thing I was already in pretty good running shape because the race would be in two months.
After sitting at my desk for what seemed like an eternity, I moved myself to the kitchen to feed my face. I felt myself beginning to stress and that’s not what I needed or wanted. But I grabbed the bag of chips anyway…and cookies…and soda.
After a full day of brunching, boozing and shopping, I decided to stop by a local bakery to pick up one of my favorite cheesecakes, maple glaze! On a Saturday afternoon I was expecting a mad house. But, to my surprise, it wasn’t that busy. For that I was thankful because I was in a hurry to get home to do absolutely nothing in front of my TV, on the couch with a nice glass of wine. Not to mention I was tired beyond belief. After the early morning blind date debacle, I just wanted to unwind. I still could not believe this dude stood me up. I’m not even sure if he had returned Amy’s call. Eh well. I checked my hair, make-up and nose before getting out of the car to head into the bakery.
“Man, my feet are killing me,” I said out loud. I guess that’s what I get for wearing brand new heels all day. I normally put an extra pair of shoes in my car but of course not today! But hey, they were cute.
I finally made it to the door of the bakery. The girl behind the counter looked up and saw it was me and we exchanged smiles.
“Heeey, Zen!” she said with excitement. Long time, no see. Where have you been?” she inquired.
“Hey, sweetie! I know, I know. I had to cut back, I was coming in here way too much and was about to spoil this figure I worked so hard to get,” I said as we both laughed.
This is the bakery I always came to when Jake and I were together. I was honestly hoping I wasn’t going to run into him or be asked about him.
“Well, where’s that handsome man of yours?” she asked.
Yep, spoke too soon.
“Well, we’re no longer together,” I replied.
She looked crushed, “Awe, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Oh, it’s okay, things happen,” I replied, quickly changing the subject. “Okay, so, you know what I came for—maple-glaze me!” I said.
She disappeared behind the door leading into the kitchen. I gave the room a quick scan to see who was in my vicinity.
I saw him. The guy I kept bumping into around town. I froze in the place I was standing and just stared at him, taking him in from head to toe. He was still as handsome as I remembered. Then…he looked up and we locked eyes. Dang it, I didn’t know what to do. Do I wave? Do I smile? Do I go over and introduce myself? Oh, my GOD! He’s getting up. By this time, Lydia had come back with my cheesecake. I turned around quickly.
“Okay, Ms. Zen! The maple glaze was just made fresh for you, love,” she said as she was ringing up my order. I was so nervous I was shaking because I didn’t know if handsome was coming my way or not.
I pulled my wallet out of my purse to pay Lydia, just for it to drop on the floor by accident. As I was reaching down for it, I see a hand touch it and a voice say “No, no, let me get that for you.” We locked eyes and I smiled.
“Thanks,” I said shyly.
“No problem,” he said, simply, as he placed the wallet in my hand.
As I was taking the money out to pay Lydia, she then says, “Because I know you so well, I placed a car slice in the bag for you.”
My eyes lit up, “Oh, Ms. Lydia, you are the best! Thank you so much. And, yes, you know I will sit in my car and eat it.” We all laughed. I turned and Handsome was still standing there, smiling.
“Hi. Thanks again for getting my wallet for me,” I said.
“Like I said, no problem, it was my pleasure. You must be a regular, as well, if Ms. Lydia’s hooking you up with a car slice,” he joked.
I couldn’t help but stare. His eyes. His voice. His lips. Whew!
I broke out of my trance and said, “Oh, um, yeah, but I haven’t been in here in awhile. Trying to watch what I eat.”
Lydia was still standing at the counter grinning from ear to
ear, listening to our conversation.
“You look great. I mean…yeah, you look great,” he said smiling and doing that LL Cool J-lick’n- his-lips thing. OH MY GOD!!!
“Jesus!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t believe I said that out loud.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Oh, Jesus, look at the time.” I tried to recover from my outburst. I gotta go, I’m running late.” I said.
“Okay, well don’t let me hold you up. My name’s Isaiah, by the way,” he says extending his hand.
I glanced down at his hand and grabbed it. I looked at him for a few seconds, second-guessing if I should share my name.
“Xenia. Nice to meet you, Isaiah,” I finally replied.
I grabbed my cheesecake Lydia had placed in a bag for me and walked toward the door.
My entire body tensed up walking away because I knew he was still standing there watching me walk away. The entire time I’m praying to God, begging him not to let me fall or slip. I finally made it to the door and wanted to turn around so badly. I turned around and pushed the door open with my back and glanced up…he was gone!
I laughed at myself as the door shut. I wanted to run to my car, bad, but, number 1, my feet still hurt and, number 2, a sure way for me to fall, was to run.
I kept my cool until I sat in the car. I began talk to myself, “Oh, my God, I just knew he was still looking at me walk away. I am so embarrassed. But it’s about time I finally met him after seeing him around these past few months.”
All of this while I’m stuffing my face with cheesecake. I’m not sure what was different or if it had been that long since I’d eaten a slice but this cheesecake was extra good today! I closed my eyes as I savored another bite.
“His name is Isaiah. Oh, fine Isaiah has a firm handshake. Maybe I should have given him my number? Hmph, this cake is good!” I exclaimed.
As I finished up my car slice, I started my car so I could get home and relax. On my way home, I thought about the events of the day. The way my day is ending is surely different than how it started. I had almost forgotten about Robert. “Jerk,” I said out loud.
I heard the notification for my phone go off. The next stop light I checked my phone. My smile became a scowl. “Oh NOW you want to text me…7 hours later!?” I screamed at the phone.