by Skye Horn
The idea that Adrian needed to protect himself from her made her want to laugh, but the seriousness in Caden’s tone kept the laughter at bay.
“He cares about you,” she mumbled, looking toward where Adrian had disappeared. Apparently he now trusted her enough with the prince to leave him and let her have a sword. She imagined there were plenty of guards nearby watching her, though, so perhaps it was a calculated risk. “I had a friend who cared like that once. I recognize it.”
Thea’s voice was tight. She fought back the tears as she thought of Ethel jumping in front of her. She knew Ethel would have done anything for her, much like Adrian for Caden. And then there was Haven, the friend she’d gained and lost so quickly. She missed her desperately. She missed all of them.
“We’ve been through a lot together,” Caden said. “That’s why I’m telling you this, because he’s got it through his head that by being cruel to you he is protecting me.”
“That makes no sense,” Thea groaned, looking back at Caden with a frown. “I have no intention of hurting you.”
Caden’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated, but then he nodded his head. “I see that, but he’s a bit harder to convince. Especially with everything on the line.”
“Everything on the line?” Thea asked, confused.
“You’ll figure it out eventually, but he would murder me if I told you. Goddess damn the consequences.” Caden chuckled. “For now, let’s just agree that you aren’t planning to strike me down with that sword and go grab something to eat.”
Thea watched him smile and couldn’t help feeling herself relax, just a little, as she nodded. The understanding between them was clear enough.
“Can I ask you something?” Thea said as they headed in the direction that Adrian had disappeared. Her stomach growled as they neared the dining hall. The warm smell of cinnamon wafted down the corridor making her mouth water. Caden nodded his approval, looking curious. “You just seem so much different from your father.”
“That’s not a question,” Caden laughed, but Thea saw the tension build on his scarred face.
“You know my question,” Thea said, nerves filling her as they passed a few servants. This was a dangerous question to ask in earshot of so many. Who knew how many of these servants were loyal to their king? She had to assume they all were, even though in her own kingdom’s case that had not been the situation. She’d been successful in taking Malachi down because of disloyal servants’ help. However, in Ivandor, she had been the princess. In Blackmire, she was a foreigner.
“Be careful,” Caden said as they approached a set of doors. Nutmeg mixed with cinnamon as he pushed it open.
Thea knew he would not answer her question then, and probably for good reason, but his silence was answer enough. Caden did not agree with his father’s way of running the kingdom. That realization wasn’t much, but it strengthened the small flicker of hope that there could one day be an alliance between the two kingdoms after all.
She nodded her head and followed him into the dining hall. It was not the same one she’d dined in the night before. There were long tables lined with soldiers, not just trainees, laughing and eating lunch. To Thea’s surprise, the soldiers were not all Fae or human. Like the army that had attacked her in Ivandor, this group was made up of multiple species. She saw centaurs, Fae, and ogres all mingled together. That surprised her, but if they followed Morrigan, then obviously they would have come here. However, as soon as Thea and Caden entered the room, the talking ceased, and all eyes fell on her. She felt tiny in her baggy clothes, but kept her chin held high. With one quick glance over the hall, she realized there were no female soldiers even among the other species.
Great, she thought and forced herself to walk forward, but Caden didn’t follow.
“This is where I leave you,” he said with an apologetic smile. “My father would have my head if he saw me eating in here.”
The explanation made her stomach churn. So Blackmire had a hierarchy too, except in Blackmire, Thea’s council couldn’t make a fuss about whom she associated with. It was almost a relief to not have that burden on her shoulders, but it also made her nervous. These soldiers would look at her as an outsider for more than one reason.
Someone whistled to break the silence, and Thea felt her cheeks blush with a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. This would be tough, but she forced herself to look away from Caden and put on a brave face.
“I’ll be fine,” she lied, giving him one last smile before she strode into the room. Her eyes immediately found Adrian seated alongside a few other soldiers, but there was no space for her to sit beside him. She remembered the way the ogres and centaurs had treated her the last time she’d encountered them and decided she should stick with the Fae as she squeezed herself in between two burly men. The whispers started up and down the table again as she tucked her wings against her back.
Adrian hardly afforded her a glance, but she did her best not to look helpless.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing here?” the man on her left asked. His voice was deep and rough. His words made her tense, but before she could respond the one on her other side spoke.
“Don’t be a brute,” he said to the first with a low growl. Then he handed Thea an empty plate and added, “Don’t eat the porridge, but the sandwiches are safe and the pumpkin pie is delicious today.”
Thea looked up, and he gave her a toothy, crooked smile that sparkled all the way to his eyes. He was a gargantuan man, but his gaze held kindness. She immediately relaxed next to him, taking the plate with a simple, “Thank you.”
Then she looked to the man who had spoken first and her smile disappeared. He was staring at her with hatred so deep that she almost flinched away.
“Can I help you?” she asked, trying to keep her tone level, but her hand rested on the sword Adrian had let her keep. “Or is a pretty thing like you afraid to sit beside a queen?”
Her voice darkened and silence fell on the small conversations around them. Thea saw Adrian’s eyes running down the table to where she sat. His lips set into a straight line that surely couldn’t let any air into his lungs, but he did not move from his seat.
Fine. She didn’t need a man to save her. She knew how to protect herself and was willing to prove that if necessary. The kinder man beside her shook his head with a sigh but did not appear to be about to jump to her rescue. She was thankful for that.
“You are no queen to me,” the brutish man growled, spittle flying from his lips against Thea’s skin. Her wings bristled and lifted a little higher as she smirked with a slight tilt of her head. Despite the newness of being a queen, it was something she’d accepted about herself since the crown had been placed on her head. She wouldn’t let anyone take that away from her, not even this awful soldier who thought he could break her.
“That’s fortunate for you, but since you have no say in whether I am a queen or not, then I guess your opinion doesn’t matter.”
She turned her attention back to the food, ignoring the redness of his face. However, just as expected, he reached to grab her by the shoulder. Everything that had been fighting its way free outside returned and a gust of air flew up between them, blocking his grip away. She immediately reached for his other arm, wrapping her small palm around his wrist, and focused the magic she’d been fighting into that single palm. It still stung from the partial healing, but she was glad she had not used up all her magical energy as the man yelped in pain, flames searing his arm.
“You bitch!” he growled, lunging for her, but she was quick to move and watched him fall directly into the man who’d been kind to her. He shoved him off and all hell broke loose. Suddenly the entire group was brawling. Blood splattered the floor as fists flew and screams of rage filled her ears. Thea took a step back from the brawl, grabbing a sandwich, and strode away in a cloud of darkness.
“Thea!” someone screamed through the crowd, but she didn’t turn around. If she stayed, the rage inside her would overflo
w and she would do more than burn a man’s skin. Who was she becoming that she would react like that without hesitation? She’d even enjoyed the feel of his pain beneath her touch!
Nausea rolled through Thea’s stomach as she reached a nearby corridor. Thankfully it was empty, because an instant later she heaved the contents of her stomach all over the floor.
Chapter 7
Adrian located Thea a few minutes after the brawl erupted in the room. Guilt racked him over not stepping in before it was too late, but what had she done to that Fae? He’d seen the anger on her face and known that if he didn’t do something she would lash out, but he hadn’t expected the darkness in her. Where had that even come from? It was like nothing he’d seen before, which was saying something, since that was the only type of magic they’d practiced in Blackmire for the past fifteen years.
Not many remembered the old ways, before there was light and dark magic, but he and Caden had found mountains of history books that described what magic should be. Of course, their research had been cut short. There were too many prying eyes in Blackmire, and for the right amount of coin, just about anyone could be your enemy. Adrian and Caden had practiced this magic until they were caught, but Adrian remembered the taste of uncontrollable darkness. It wasn’t something you could easily forget.
He shook the thought off as he found Thea with her head on her knees down a nearby corridor.
“Thea?” he said cautiously, unsure of how he should approach.
“Am I somewhere I’m not supposed to be?” Thea asked. Her voice shook, but he knew she wasn’t crying. Her trembling hands gave her away, as did the fresh scent of vomit that stung his nose.
“No,” he said slowly, taking a single step toward her, but a feral growl reverberated from her chest and froze him to the spot.
Okay, she isn’t just angry; she’s furious. He took a deep breath and knelt in front of her, inching his hand toward hers. That was when he saw the scarring on her palms.
Without thinking, he snatched her hands toward him, catching his breath as he noticed the freshly pink scars covered by brand-new boiling blisters.
“What the hell happened?” Adrian’s words came out rushed as she winced and lifted her head to finally look at him. There was a soft red glow to her once-gray eyes. It twisted with the liquid gold that he’d tried not to notice before.
“I couldn’t heal them,” she said, voice trembling. “It’s like this new power is suffocating me.”
“I need to take you to Morrigan.”
Thea was already shaking her head but Adrian saw the pain she suffered from the burns. She must have burnt herself in the process of attacking the other soldier, and by the look of the scars on her hand, this wasn’t the first time.
“This isn’t a discussion. We are going.” He spoke low, not meaning to sound demanding, but the urgency of the matter was too great to ignore. If Thea lost control, she could hurt a lot more than just herself. He’d seen it happen before—felt it happen before. That was why most of his soldiers were trained to use physical abilities over magical ones. No one could handle the darkness that devoured them without balance, and balance wasn’t permitted in Blackmire.
“No,” Thea said with a defiant set of her chin.
Her stubbornness made his skin crawl. “Fine. Should I go tell the king you attacked one of his soldiers then?”
Thea’s shoulders slumped in response, but her eyes remained furious. Adrian didn’t care. This would be a setback to their training if they didn’t figure it out soon. At least that was the reason he was convincing himself that he cared. He’d fight anyone who told him differently.
“Fine,” Thea finally said, pushing herself up off the ground with her injured hands and ignoring Adrian’s extended arm despite the fact that her entire body was shaking visibly. He fought the urge to roll his eyes, but sighed.
“I’m trying to help you.”
“Let’s not pretend your neck isn’t the one on the line,” she said quietly. “Trust me. I know where I’m not wanted.”
The red was fading from her eyes as she spoke and Adrian wondered what internal struggle was happening inside her. He hated that he cared to know, but curiosity had always been his downfall. That was why those history books had been so interesting to him, because he couldn’t stand not knowing something—especially something he was told he couldn’t know.
Without a second thought, the words he’d been fighting since his discussion with Morrigan erupted from his lips without any type of control. “Who is Kieran?”
Thea’s entire body went rigid at the sound of the name and he saw her jaw clench tight.
“Take me to Morrigan,” she demanded, no longer meeting his eyes.
His heart sank as he saw the dark shadow of grief fall over her face, but there was nothing he could do to take back the words now, so instead, he nodded his head and started down the corridor, ignoring the urge to look back and make sure she was following.
Whoever Kieran had been, it wasn’t his business to ask. He didn’t even know if he wanted to know. The more he got to know Thea, the more likely he was to care, and none of them could afford for that to happen.
One by one, Adrian pushed away his questions, burying them beneath his training. He was a soldier, first and foremost, for Blackmire. He didn’t have time to care about this foreign queen’s past or the grief on her face. What he did have time for was the burns on her hands. While injured, she wouldn’t be able to train as quickly and then he would lose his chance as head guard of the kings army. That would have dire consequences for his family.
With the thought of his family, Adrian let his feelings about Thea disappear. There were more important things to worry about than her.
Thea followed in silence, hands stinging and heart aching. Kieran’s name had brought on another wave of grief. She knew the question might eventually come up, but why did Adrian even care? He’d heard Kieran’s name one time. That wasn’t enough to strike such curiosity. However, the way he’d blurted the question out made her wonder.
No matter how much she tried to hide her past, it still haunted her. Kieran was far away, feeling nothing for her, while she trembled at the sound of his name. It was worse than if he’d died. Her soul still felt torn to shreds from the broken bond, and the new confusing thoughts that filled her head in conflict with her feelings for him were enough to make her feel like she might break.
She had loved Kieran, but was that past tense now? Had it truly all been under the control of some fated soul bond? Being in love with him felt like a hazy dream she was fighting to hold onto. He was her family, and she would do everything in her power to bring him home, but what would happen if she accomplished that? She wondered if they would ever have the all-consuming passion that had once existed between them, or if the memories of passion had been snapped away along with the soul bond.
“Morrigan will be waiting for you in the gardens,” Adrian said, voice void of emotion. Thea’s heart raced at the idea of being alone with the Goddess again. Every time she was, she had to fight the urge to remember they were technically on the same side now. This situation she’d gotten herself into was confusing enough without feeling guilty over not telling Adrian her past, so she turned to him, leveling her shoulders with a frown.
“I’m sorry,” she said but his face didn’t change. “I’m just not ready to talk about my past with you.”
“I shouldn’t have asked,” Adrian said, finally meeting her eyes. She searched for any sign of curiosity in his eyes, but whatever had driven him to ask that question was gone. Despite the relief she felt that he wouldn’t push the subject, a lingering loneliness overcame her as well. Apparently she was destined to remain alone with her grief, but that had been what she wanted—at least she thought it was. Now with the words on the tip of her tongue begging to be spoken aloud, she wasn’t so sure. “We aren’t friends, and your past is your own business. Have a great training session.”
The cut of his words was deep
er than Thea wanted to admit as she watched him turn and walk away. Anger and frustration mixed in a boiling inferno inside her, but instead of letting it spill out, she turned and headed for the garden, only to see a raven perched upon a tree, watching.
“Enjoying the show?” she spat at the raven, which let out a loud caw before soaring into the sky.
Great, she thought miserably. Now you’re yelling at animals.
The thought of animals made her miss Faylon. She missed a lot of individuals lately, but missing them didn’t bring them back, and there were people who were alive that needed her now. People who were counting on her.
She hadn’t believed she and Adrian were friends, but hearing it out loud stung in a way Thea didn’t like. She inhaled sharply and made her way through the gardens to find Morrigan without another thought of those she’d lost or Adrian’s infuriating behavior.
“You look angry,” came a melodic voice as Thea turned down the path toward the middle of the garden. It was laid out the same way that Ivandor’s was, but surprisingly, every single flower was in bloom. She hadn’t noticed it at first, but now wondered how it was even possible in the freezing weather. Surely these flowers only bloomed in the spring, and they were far from the season of love. Morrigan stood stroking the feathers of the raven that Thea had snapped at tenderly.
“Have you been spying on me?” Thea asked, looking between the raven and the Goddess.
“Spying would imply secrecy. I have followers all over this kingdom making sure you are doing as you’re told, which is how I know you’re angry.”
Thea could see the raw power in the Goddess’ eyes and forced her hurt pride at the fact that she was being watched down, out of the way. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t already known that. She was just in a terrible mood after her exhausting morning.
“Teach me how to control it,” Thea said, holding out her hands palm up for the Goddess to see. Morrigan’s lips pressed together as she examined Thea’s third-degree burns. “I feel like I’m drowning.”