She leans her hip against the counter and crosses her arms. “All jokes aside, you really are doing a great job. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. I really do appreciate everything you do around here, even if I don’t always have time to say it. I mean, you’ve made me obsolete around here for the past week.”
“I can’t believe it’s already been a week,” I gush. Time has been flying by—at work, at least. Home, that’s a different story. I don’t know what happened with Hudson and my brother, but they’re closer than ever while he completely ignores me. He won’t look at me at all. He won’t even talk to me unless I talk to him when my brother is around. When Brad isn’t around, he won’t reply at all. It’s like he has to keep up appearances in front of Brad. But when he’s gone, he no longer has to act.
The night Hudson and I spent together at the bar, I pray for just one night with him. I didn’t expect to ever run into him again. I thought it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. But then he moved in and now I have to see him every day. I have to see him walk sleepily out of his bedroom in his loose pajama bottoms. They hang deliciously from his hips, and I can’t keep my eyes off that toned six pack. I have to sit next to him on the couch, pretending that I’m watching whatever stupid guy show he put on. I end up watching him more than the TV. And I have to watch him move about the kitchen, cooking delicious meals like he was born to be a chef. I know they say food is the way to a man’s heart, but it’s the way to mine too! These last few years, a full stomach has happened less and less. I usually have little to no money, so I end up grabbing something quick and cheap from whatever gas station I’m at. And I’ve lived this way for years. I asked for one night with him, but now, every night, I ask for one more night with him.
“The week has flown by with you here,” Destiny says, folding up a pile of clothes that people tried on but decided against.
I stand back and watch her work while my mind drifts off to other matters, like how I can get Hudson to see me as something other than his friend’s off-limits kid sister.
“Destiny, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“It’s kind of personal, but I’m needing advice…in the love department.”
She nearly squeals. “Juicy! Let’s hear it.”
“Okay, well about a week ago, I had a one-night stand with this guy I met at the bar. It was amazing. Mind-blowing. Probably the best I ever had. But the thing is that I knew the guy. He was one of the hot older guys in town when I was little. I never thought I’d have a shot with him. But he hadn’t seen me since I was a kid, so he didn’t recognize me.”
“Good for you. You finally bagged your dream guy.”
“Yeah, but things got complicated. Really complicated.”
“What happened?” she asks, concern paining her features.
“Well, this guy, he was friends with my brother. Once he found out who I really was, he deemed me off-limits. I can’t do anything but think of our night together. I want more nights like that. So, how can I get him to see that I’m more than just his friend’s sister? That I’m not a child anymore?”
“Hmmm, that’s a tough one,” she says, still folding clothes as she thinks it over. “Maybe just make yourself available to him. Get close, but don’t be pushy. Let him get to know you, this you. If the chemistry was as good as you say, it’s only a matter of time. Guys suck at holding themselves back from something they want. He’ll give in eventually.”
“And if he doesn’t think it’s as good as I thought it was?”
She shrugs. “Then at least you have one night to look back on. That’s more than some people get.”
I nod. I guess she’s right. If the night we shared meant anything at all to him, he’ll eventually come around. I can only imagine the mental struggle he’s going through about this. He’s always been the do-the-right-thing type of guy. He’s never broken a rule in his life. I’m sure this is weighing on him as much as it is me.
Destiny and I work the rest of the day together. She flips off the lights while I lock up the register, safe, and then the door behind us.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, and good luck with that little problem you have,” Destiny says, pulling her purse up on her shoulder as she heads toward her car.
I offer a small smile and a wave as I climb behind the wheel. I’m back home within minutes. I walk into a dark apartment. I turn the light on and lock the door behind me. About time I have the place all to myself. It’s been a while. I throw myself back on the couch, enjoying the peace and quiet. Deciding to enjoy my alone time, I plan to take a shower and then hunker down on the couch in my pajamas and eating enough junk food to fuel an army.
I spring upward, almost jogging to the bathroom, excitement coursing through my body at the thought of getting to use all the hot water. I strip quickly and step into the shower. The hot water feels like heaven on my skin. It’s so hot, my skin reddens, but that’s how I like it. I wash my hair twice with my favorite rose-scented shampoo and conditioner it just as many times. I take my time shaving my legs and washing off. I even use my in-shower lotion that I rarely have time for. By the time the hot water is running out, my skin feels like it’s been set on fire. I shut off the water then gather my hair over my shoulder to wring it out.
I pull the curtain open and stick my head and arm out to reach into the cabinet hanging above the toilet where we keep the towels, but the cabinet is empty. I look at the towel rack on the wall and the one on the back of the door, but both are towel-less. I guess Brad went to go do some laundry today and forgot to put it away. Not completely unusual.
Standing in the shower, I wring my hair free of as much water as I can. I fling my hands through the air, trying to shake the water off them. It only hits me now that I also didn’t grab clothes before I came in here. I’m so used to going from bathroom to bedroom that I completely forgot. Again. With a groan, I step out of the tub.
I open the door just a crack.
“Brad! Hudson! Anyone here?” I shout into the apartment, but there’s no answer. I quickly pull the door open and dash across the hall into the living room, where my things are now being stored. I start digging through the box in the corner, finding a pair of black lace panties. I quickly pull them on. Just as my hand touches a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, I hear the lock on the front door turn. I grab the pants to make an effort to put them on quickly, but the door opens only a second later, and Hudson comes walking through. I spin around to face him in a panic.
His eyes go wide with shock, and his mouth drops open with the corners turning slightly upward, like he can’t wipe the smile from his face at seeing me. I take the pair of pants in my hand and hold them up to my chest, covering my bare breasts.
“I’m sorry. I took a shower and forgot to bring some clothes…again. And this time, there weren’t any towels in the bathroom. Nobody was home, so I didn’t think it was a big deal,” I ramble.
He lets out a quiet chuckle and gently shakes his head. “It’s fine, Deven. Just…get your clothes and go get dressed,” he says, turning his back to me.
I quickly grab a sweatshirt off the top of the stack and head back to the bathroom to put my clothes on. I know I’ve already slept with the guy, but being caught naked is never fun. Embarrassment heats up my face and stains my cheeks a bright red. I brush out my hair and move back into the living room, collapsing on the end of the couch.
“Sorry about that,” I say again. “I wasn’t trying to tease you or seduce you or anything. In fact, I think you’re right. Nothing good could come from us being together behind my brother’s back. I mean, sure, he’s never home, and it would be totally easy to mess around without him knowing”—I’m babbling again—“but he already thinks that I’m a slut without a cause, so I probably don’t need to be screwing his friends to confirm his suspicions. Plus, you seem to have gotten whatever interest you had in me out anyway.”
He looks at me confused, his brows pulled together and his blue eyes narrowed. �
�What’s happening here? Are you drunk? Why do you keep rambling?”
I shake my head clear. “Something I do when I’m embarrassed or nervous. Don’t mind me, I’ll just…go die now.” I slide off the couch and head for the kitchen to make something to eat and to put some space between us. I place my hands flat on the counter and hang my head, trying to control my racing heart and erratic breathing.
“What are you now, embarrassed or nervous?” he asks, stepping into the kitchen.
I spin around to face him. “Both.” I laugh out loud. “I mean, you caught me naked. If that’s not embarrassing, I don’t know what is.”
“Why are you nervous?” His eyes are intensely locked on mine. His eyes are usually an ocean blue, but now, they seem darker, like they’re clouded with fear, worry, or lust.
I shrug, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “I don’t know. It’s just when we’re alone together, I feel nervous.” I roll my eyes. “I also feel stupid because I still want you, but you couldn’t care less.” I let out a nervous laugh. “You’re probably not even attracted to me. I was probably just the first girl that showed you attention since you got back, and I mean, hey, who turns down the easy girl, right?”
He takes a slow step forward, and the butterflies in my stomach take flight. “I am attracted to you, Deven. In fact, that night in my truck was the best night I’d had in a long time, maybe even ever. If I hadn’t run into you here the following day, I probably would have gone looking for you. I got a taste of you. That’ll never be enough,” he says, looking down at me now that our bodies are only an inch apart. I can feel his warmth radiating off his body. Mine is absorbing it like I’m frozen to the core.
His eyes are burning with emotion, passion, and lust as he looks down at me. His jaw is tensed. like he’s holding back, but his arms are limp at his sides. “As much as I’d love to pull you against me right now and fuck you senseless on your brother’s kitchen table, I can’t. I’m not that guy. Brad specifically asked me to keep my hands off. I can’t ignore his wishes. There’s a hard line between you and me. There is no crossing it despite how badly I want you, how much you tease me, or how much you beg.”
I’m lost. I’m lost in his words, his eyes, the way he makes my every hair stand on end and vibrate. I feel like I’ve floated up out of my body and I’m watching things unfold from the sky. I don’t even know what I’m doing. My body is controlling itself. “We can’t cross the line. That doesn’t mean we can’t push it,” I say, stepping forward and pressing my mouth to his.
His lips part for me on instinct, his hot tongue grazing against mine. For a moment, he seems frozen or surprised, but after a second, his hand moves up to cup my cheek as he deepens the kiss. He sucks on my tongue and explores every inch of my mouth. He releases my jaw, and I think he’s going to pull away, but instead, his hands land forcefully on my hips, picking me up and setting me on the counter in front of him. He moves between my knees while our kiss grows more urgent. His hands tour my body: my thighs, hips, breasts. My whole body feels like it’s been set on fire. My skin tingles and burns, metaphorical flames lighting along the trail his hands are making.
I whimper against his lips when his thumb grazes over my clit. “Hudson, please,” I beg as his lips fall from mine, kissing down my jaw and neck.
At my words, he pulls away, putting as much space between us as he can. He presses his back to the counter on the far side of the kitchen. He covers his mouth with his hand, wiping away the wetness from our kiss. His chest is rising and falling quickly as his eyes stare down at the floor between us.
I immediately feel cold without him pressed against me. A shiver races up my spine as I lower myself back to the floor. I raise my hand to cover my lips, enjoying the way they tingle from his kiss. Air is rushing in and out of my lungs, and my heart feels like it will soon explode from my chest. I chance a look up at him.
“We need to keep our distance. You hear me? I’ll stay in my room, you stay in the living room. If we’re never together, we can’t be tempted. Got it?” His voice is steady and sure.
My mouth falls open with surprise, but I nod in agreement. Without another word, he turns and leaves the kitchen. I hear the soft click of his bedroom door closing between us. I shake my head clear and focus on finding dinner, the task I had planned on doing before I was interrupted by his amazing lips.
I search through the fridge and cabinets until I come up with enough ingredients to make a fresh salad. I keep my mind trained on chopping the lettuce and tomatoes, shredding the carrots and cheese, and dicing the leftover chicken from yesterday. I mix everything together and then add a little bit of ranch dressing before taking it to the couch to eat. I pick up the remote and flip through the channels until I find some romance movie. I drop the remote and hold my bowl between my chest and knees as I sit, watching. As I eat, I laugh, cry, and curse myself for not living in a romantic comedy. I can’t help but picture Hudson as the actor in the movie and me as the actress. I don’t envision my brother in the story at all though. He’s the reason we can’t be together now.
I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past when it comes to men, but doesn’t he see how much I’ve grown up, how mature I’ve become? I guess fighting for the right to screw his best friend wouldn’t help my case. It’s not like I’m in love with him. I’m just…in lust with him. The night we were together wasn’t even romantic. It wasn’t slow and passionate. It was raw, real, and dirty, the way real life normally is. He made me feel good, so good. Just thinking about him causes goosebumps to prickle my skin. He causes my blood to boil, my heart to race. I mean, that should mean something, shouldn’t it?
I’ve been with a lot of guys, but none of them ever made me feel the way Hudson does. What if the only reason you feel this way is because you know that you’ll never work out? Another way to self-sabotage? I think to myself. God knows I’ve done that enough in my life already. But that couldn’t be true because I wanted him before I knew he was off-limits. I wanted him because I thought I’d never be good enough for him, not pretty enough, or old enough. I wanted him because he was one of the things I missed most about this place after we moved to Denver. Even though he never would’ve given me the time of day or entertained the thought of being with me because I was a child, he was still always nice and sweet. He’d listen when I had things to say, instead of just blowing me off and saying he didn’t have time for me like my brother and parents always did. Hudson Slade was exactly what I needed back then, and he’s exactly what I need right now.
I know it. I think deep down, he knows it too. And I won’t give up until he admits it, admits it and fights against this line we’re not supposed to cross. I smile to myself when I think about how we pushed that line a little to the side tonight. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll push it a little more, and the next day and the next. Before you know it, there will be nothing between us, that line barely a blur in our past.
When I wake in the morning, Brad and Hudson are both sitting at the kitchen table with cups of coffee in their hands.
“Morning,” I say, walking in and heading straight to the coffee pot. I quickly glance at Hudson as I pass, and his blue eyes follow me. “How was work?”
“It was work,” Brad replies. “No offense, but that brewery kind of sucks for guys like me.”
Hudson laughs. “Yeah, I feel ya. Hell, it’s part mine and even I won’t work there. I’ve been looking to join the fire department.”
“Damn,” Brad says. “You won’t be able to keep the chicks off you, man.” Brad laughs.
In my mind, all I can picture is Hudson’s rock-hard body dressed up as one of those firefighters that pose in women’s calendars, the ones who only ever wear the pants and suspenders and no shirt. My dazing off gets the best of me, and I drop the spoon I was using to stir my coffee with.
Brad jumps from the sudden loud noise. “What’s your problem back there?”
“Sorry,” I say, looking at Hudson, but he must know what I’m thinking bec
ause he gives me a small smirk that he quickly wipes away.
I take my coffee with me and head back to the living room to dig out some clothes to wear to work for the day. I grab a pair of skinny jeans, a white lacy tank top, and a pair of wedged sandals, taking everything to the bathroom so I’m not caught without pants again. Thirty minutes later, I’m fully dressed with my hair and makeup done. I walk out into the living room with the intention of putting my cup in the sink and taking off, but I run into Hudson, who’s exiting the kitchen. I bump into his hard chest. I bounce back, but he catches me by both arms.
“Sorry,” he says, eyes glancing down my body.
“Sorry, yeah. Me too,” I finally get out, shaking my head at myself.
He chuckles quietly under his breath. “You look nice today. Have a good day at work.” Without another word, he sidesteps around me and heads for his room, leaving me staring after him.
What the hell was that? You look nice today? Was that a compliment? Was he hitting on me? If so, wasn’t he afraid that my brother would overhear? After last night, is he starting to come around, or is he just trying to be polite? Anxiety bubbles up my throat and irritation pushes it back down. Why can’t he just tell me what he wants, instead of telling me no, then kissing me? Giving me a compliment, but saying we can’t cross that imaginary line?
I set my cup in the sink a little harder than necessary, then grab my things and head out for the day.
“So, how are things going with this forbidden hottie?” Destiny asks as we sit behind the counter, having lunch.
I take a bite of my burger and shrug. “We kissed last night.”
Her eyes stretch wide with surprise.
“Like, really kissed. His hands were all over my body, and his lips were soft but hard and fast at the same time. God, I was so turned on that I thought I was going to explode.” I can’t hold back the smile that talking about Hudson brings on.
Destiny laughs. “So, why stop there? Why not drive the ball home?”
Best Friend's Sister (Slade Brothers Book 5) Page 5