by Emma Lea
This wasn’t the man he wanted to be.
It was easy to be the man he’d imagined himself to be when he was nowhere near his family. He’d run away from home thinking that the distance was what he needed. He’d pretended that he was just some normal mid-twenties guy on a jaunt around the world. He’d worked hard with the locals and expats he’d connected with in remote villages all over the world. He’d dug wells and built houses. He’d helped vaccinate little kids and taught English to refugees. And he’d written about it. He’d blogged every experience, good and bad, in the hopes that at the very least, his family would see him as more than just a spare heir to the Austin fortune.
And they hadn’t read a damned word.
Despite the hundreds of followers he’d gained, the lack of a single Austin name among them had the ability to render everything he’d done a waste. The thing that angered him the most was that he still panted after a pat on the head from his father like a neglected stray. And his love slash hate relationship with his family name had caused him to make the biggest mistake of his life. He’d lost Zoë, the only woman he’d ever imagined a future with, because he couldn’t own up to who he was.
It was probably for the best. After spending time with Zoë’s family, he couldn’t imagine her being part of his. Not because she wouldn’t fit or she wasn’t worthy—if that was even the right word—but because she was so much better than the pathetic excuse for a family he had. His father would ruin Zoë. Blake knew she was career driven but his father would take that drive and twist it into something ugly. The same way he’d done to Jack. His brother hadn’t always been the cold arsehole he was now. Once upon a time Jack had been human, if a little stiff.
No. It was better if Zoë kept her distance, as much as it hurt him to admit it. Blake would never forgive himself if he stood by and let his father manipulate and warp Zoë in his quest for Austin world-domination. It was an act of love even if no one would ever understand.
25
Blake walked into the bar and looked at the Friday night crowd feeling old and out of touch. He’d spent the day with the party planner going over the last minute details of the New Year’s Eve party and wanted to drink himself into oblivion in the privacy of his room. He’d moved out of the family mausoleum and into a hotel, at least until he could find a small apartment for himself. After the day he’d had, the last thing he felt like doing was socialising, but he couldn’t say no to the summons from Declan. Besides, his invitation had piqued Blake’s interest.
Jack and his family had arrived back in the country early that morning and had been on the phone to Blake almost as soon as he’d touched down. His father and grandfather were due back tomorrow and he’d heard from Rory that her plane had finally been given the go ahead to leave JFK. She would make it back for the party, but only just.
Declan’s text and invitation for a beer after work had been a welcome distraction from the work that had been lumped on him. When Declan had followed it up with ‘there’s someone I’d like you to meet,’ Blake had been intrigued. If it had been anyone other than Declan, he would have immediately thought there was a blind date in his future, but that wasn’t Declan’s style…especially after marrying Brandi.
Blake spotted Declan sitting in a booth toward the back with some familiar faces. He’d met Declan’s friends, they’d all been at uni together, but they hadn’t really socialised in the same circles.
“Blake,” Declan said, getting to his feet and shaking Blake’s hand. “I’m glad you came. Can I get you a beer?”
“That would be great.”
Declan lifted his hand to the barman before turning back to the assembled group.
“I think you know most of the guys,” Declan said, reintroducing Hunter, Brooks, Mason and Jonathon. “And this is Flynn. He works for an online men’s magazine, The Playbook. Have you heard of it?”
“I haven’t,” he said, shaking Flynn’s hand. “But then I was out of the country for over a year.”
“So I hear,” Flynn said.
“Sit down,” Declan said, dragging a chair over for him.
Blake sat and a beer was put down in front of him. It was in a bottle with a label he hadn’t seen before. A quick look around the table confirmed that they were all drinking the boutique beer rather than regular beer on tap. It made him think of Zoë’s dad and, of course, Zoë.
“How was your Christmas?” Declan asked.
Blake tried not to choke on the sip of cold, bitter brew he’d just swallowed. “Great and then not so great,” he replied honestly.
Declan shot a look at his friends and then Jonathon shifted in his seat before speaking.
“I believe we have a mutual acquaintance,” he said.
Blake raised his eyebrows. “We do?”
“Zoë Farraday,” he said. “She’s my fiancée’s best friend.”
“Fuck,” Blake breathed. “So you know what happened then?”
Jonathon nodded.
“Is that why I’m here? So you can rake me over the coals for hurting her? Because if that was your plan, don’t bother. I’m already doing a pretty bang-up job of it myself.”
“That’s not why you’re here,” he replied. “But maybe we could go outside later and…chat.”
“Moving on,” Declan said. “I wanted you here to meet Flynn. I think the two of you could help each other out.”
“Yeah?” Blake asked, redirecting his gaze to Flynn. “How?”
“The Playbook are looking for a new blog,” Flynn said. “We have blogs for dating, finance, fashion, tech, and entertainment. We would like to add a travel blog to our line-up. Declan showed me yours and we’re interested in syndicating it.”
Blake exhaled slowly. “Really?”
Flynn nodded. “We really like the international volunteering and charitable angle of it. You have a great writing style that suits the demographic of our readership.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Blake said.
He wondered if he was getting pranked in some way. As much as he’d enjoyed his travel and blogging he never considered he could make a job of it. He’d done it to make sure his family had known where he was and what he was doing, but also to raise awareness of the causes and needs of the places he visited. He’d always included donation links to various organisations and ways that others could volunteer if they felt moved. It was his way of giving back.
“You don’t have to give me an answer tonight,” Flynn said. “Carter Beckett, our editor, wants to have a sit-down with you if you want to talk more. Tonight was just about meeting you and gauging your interest.”
“I’m interested,” Blake said.
It was a lifeline. He hadn’t thought he would have any option other than to go back to work at Austin Industries, but here was a ray of hope. A way out of the soul-sucking job that he hated. It wouldn’t endear him to his father or his brother, but Blake was coming to realise that nothing he did would ever make them happy.
Flynn sat back and smiled. “Excellent. I’ll set something up in the new year with you and Carter.”
Business done, Blake relaxed and enjoyed the beer and the conversation. The easy camaraderie had him feeling homesick. Not for his own life but for the time he spent with Zoë’s family. He’d never really had a close group of friends, not since high school, and a part of him yearned to have that connection.
Jonathon stood to leave and Blake followed him out. He knew he should put Zoë out of his mind, but he just couldn’t.
“Have you seen her?” he asked when they stepped out onto the sidewalk.
“No,” Jonathon said. “Willa has spoken to her, though.”
“Did she…” Blake dropped his head and huffed out a breath as he shook it. “Did she get back with Ryan?”
“Who?”
Blake looked up. “Ryan. Her high school boyfriend. I saw them together just before I left.”
Jonathon frowned. “I really don’t know. Willa hasn’t said much except that Zoë is upse
t and trying not to show it.”
“Shit,” Blake said. He swallowed. “You know I never meant to hurt her—”
Jonathon laid a hand on his arm. “Take it from someone who has made some monumental mistakes in the pursuit of love. If Zoë is the one then you will find a way to work it out. Even if it feels like you’re up shit creek without a paddle right now, you can find a way out of it. You just have to want to and you have to be prepared to pay the cost. Everything worth having has a price. You need to decide whether Zoë is worth paying it.”
Blake watched Jonathon walk away, taking in his words. Did he want to make things right with Zoë? And what would it cost him to have her in his life?
Blake was not surprised to find his brother in the office early on a Saturday morning. The guy had been back in the country for less than twenty-four hours and was probably fucked up with jet lag and yet he’d dragged himself out of bed with his wife to sit behind his desk and work.
Blake slowed his step as an almost identical picture of their father was superimposed over reality. It was exactly what he’d seen and felt when he’d walked into the office only a couple of weeks ago. Looking at Jack behind the desk that had stolen so much of his father’s time from the family made the decision Blake had made even easier. He didn’t want this life. He didn’t want to be foregoing time with his wife and family to slave away in a job he hated. Money didn’t motivate him like it motivated the rest of his family. The pursuit of the almighty dollar didn’t burn in his veins like it so obviously did in his grandfather, father, and brother.
“Jack,” Blake said, walking into the office.
Jack looked up from his computer and surprise registered on his face.
“Blake,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”
“Whereas I knew you’d be here,” Blake said, sliding into the chair in front of Jack’s desk. “Do you really love this place so much that you’d prefer to be here than at home with your family?”
“I’ve been gone for ten days,” Jack said, his tone sharp. “The business world doesn’t just stop because of a couple of public holidays.”
Blake sighed. He looked at his brother—really looked at him. He could see the strain around his eyes and the tension in his jaw. The guy looked like he needed a week of sleep and a decent orgasm to take the edge off…not that he wanted to think about his brother’s sex life.
“How was your Christmas?” Blake asked, trying to diffuse the bomb his brother had just lobbed at him.
Jack shrugged. “It was good. The kids had fun. Disneyland was crowded. It was cold.” His eyes dropped back to his work as he spoke like Blake wasn’t even sitting there. Blake waited for the return question, but it didn’t come. Silence hung between them as Jack forgot Blake was even in the room.
“How was your Christmas, Blake,” Blake said, mimicking his brother’s voice. “It was actually pretty great,” Blake answered himself earning a scowl from his brother. At least he had his attention now. “I met this amazing woman and spent the holidays with her family in this small town. Best Christmas ever.”
“Why are you here?” Jack asked. “I really don’t have time to listen to your latest conquest and I have less than zero interest in your sex life.”
“I was just trying to make conversation,” Blake said. “You know, like normal brothers do.”
“We’re not normal brothers,” Jack said, looking back at his computer screen.
“If it’s not too much trouble,” Blake said, finally losing patience. “Could you please fucking pay attention to me and what I came here to say?”
Jack took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap and narrowing his gaze at Blake. “If you’re here to tell me you’ve met the woman of your dreams and fallen in love then I really don’t care.”
“I have and I did but that’s not why I’m here,” Blake said, standing and pacing in front of Jack’s desk. “I’ve tried everything to live up to the Austin name and make you and our father proud—”
Jack snorted. “You think that, do you?”
“Yeah, arsehole, I do. I may not live, breathe and bleed Austin Industries, but I’m not the lazy arse moocher that you all seem to think I am. If any of you had taken any interest in my life at all then you would know that my trip overseas wasn’t just a lark. It wasn’t ‘The Adventures of a Poor little Rich Boy’ that you thought it was. If you had bothered to read my blog you would have discovered that I was doing important work in places that most people have forgotten.”
“So, what? You want me to pat you on the head and tell you what a good little philanthropist you are?”
“No, fuckwit, I want you to realise that there is more in life than this fucking company.”
“That’s not a great statement to make to your boss,” Jack said. “You’re going to be working here in a couple of days and that is not the attitude I want displayed to your colleagues.”
“Here’s the thing,” Blake said, his nerves disappearing as he turned to face his brother. “The reason I came in today was to give you my resignation.”
“You’re resigning?” Jack asked with a roll of his eyes. “Why am I not surprised? So, what? Are you going to disappear overseas again for another year because your family are so awful for expecting you to work for a living?”
“No, actually,” Blake said, smirking at his brother across the mahogany desk. “I’ve been offered another job. I was sitting on the fence before but after speaking to you I’ve decided to take it.”
“You signed a non-compete—”
Blake rolled his eyes. “Relax. I’m not going to a competitor. You know that blog I told you about? The one I wrote while I was overseas? My Adventures of a Poor Little Rich Boy? Yeah, well I’ve got someone interested in employing me to do more of that. The Playbook? Have you heard of it? You should. It’s the fastest growing online men’s magazine in the country.”
Jack looked at him like he was an alien from another planet. “Someone is going to pay you to write a travel blog?”
“It’s not just a travel blog, which you would know if you had listened to anything I’ve said. But yes, they are going to pay me to write and travel and promote volunteer projects all over the world. So please accept my resignation and good luck with everything.”
Blake turned and walked out of the office leaving his brother gaping after him. Suddenly he felt ten kilos lighter and there was a spring in his step. Who knew telling his brother to shove his job would feel so fucking liberating?
26
Zoë opened the door and groaned when she saw Willa standing there.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Zoë said.
“Too bad,” Willa said, pushing past Zoë and heading for the kitchen.
Zoë followed. She was still in her pyjamas and she hadn’t showered for two days. She was planning on just holing up in her apartment until she had to face Blake again on her first day of work. She still hadn’t decided how she was going to handle the whole thing and the absolute last thing she wanted to do was hash it all out with Willa. It was still too raw and hurt too much to think about, let alone talk about.
Willa reached up into her overhead cupboards and retrieved her special drinking glasses.
“What are you doing?” Zoë asked, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen counter.
“We’re drinking.”
“But it’s only like ten o’clock in the morning.”
“So?” Willa said. “The pubs open at ten so it’s legal. Besides, I need to get you liquored up enough to spill the beans.”
“No beans to spill.”
“Bullshit,” Willa said pouring a healthy slug of gin into the glass and then topping it up with soda and finishing it off with a twist of lime.
“It’s all your fault anyway,” Zoë said, accepting the glass from Willa and taking a drink.
“How is it my fault?”
“Because you suggested I take a buffer.”
“Right.
A buffer. I didn’t suggest you fall for him.”
“Who said anything about falling for him? I’m just pissed off that he lied to me.”
“Ha! I call bullshit again.”
“Shut up. I hate you.”
“You love me. Now tell me what happened. The truth and don’t leave anything out.”
“We really hit it off,” Zoë said, running her fingers through the condensation on her glass. “I was even contemplating abandoning my ‘no men’ declaration to see if we could maybe sort of keep seeing each other after Christmas.”
“You lur-ve him,” Willa sang with a smirk.
“No,” Zoë replied, shaking her head. “There was lust and sex—oh god, the sex.” She shook her head to clear it of the memories. “But no one said anything about the L-word.”
“So what happened?” Willa asked, reaching across the counter to lay her hand on Zoë’s.
“You know what happened,” she said. “He lied to me about who he was.”
“Like Jonathon lied to me about who he was?”
“Exactly!” Zoë said, getting up to pace. “Remember how mad you were? And how you felt betrayed by him?”
“In all fairness, I was trying to trap a billionaire for nefarious purposes,” Willa said.
“You were never serious about that,” Zoë said. “It was a ridiculous idea and you had no real intention of going through with it.”
Willa shrugged. “Jonathon had a perfectly valid reason for lying to me too. We didn’t know what was going to happen between us when we first met.”
“But, you see, that’s what’s different with me and Blake,” Zoë said, pointing her finger at Willa as she got riled up. “He had no reason to lie to me.”
“Are you sure about that?” Willa asked. “He knew he was going to be working with you, maybe he thought if you knew who he was you’d treat him differently.”
“It still doesn’t make it right,” Zoë said, slumping back onto her stool. “How can I know that anything else he told me is true? How can I know that he really feels about me the way he said he did if he couldn’t even be honest with me about his last name?”