by Laikyn Meng
How would you recover from a loss that monumental? Is there an instruction manual I could pick up at the local book store that describes the process of healing from such heavy grief, you wouldn’t think to fall?
I didn’t know those answers, I couldn’t pretend all the time that I did. I only absorbed so much silence, before one noise set it exploding and I would combust. Seeing Luna’s face flat against the pavement. Pools of blood coughing out of her mouth as she wheezed, trying to stay calm for me. While Asher screamed at the top of his lungs, I felt it in the tips of my sandals. He shook the earth with his terror, the phone not even by his ear, calling out commands to emergency response. His lips running faster than my 9-year-old eyes could keep up.
So I didn’t try harder, I shifted my gaze back down to her, when I went to stand up and go to her, he shoved out a hand telling me to sit on the curb. I sat back down, reaching out my hand. I put one toe on the sidewalk while I laid on my stomach to touch her outstretched hand.
Her blinks were coming slower, and I hesitated to count them. But when the last one lasted more than a minute, and her grip went limp. I crawled closer to her and curled myself underneath the only mother I ever wanted. The only one that mattered to me. Everyone that dies young or old always is gone too soon.
But my mother and I, our relationship was over too soon. A lot happened in those two years we were together. She took over custody of me after my grandparents passed away. She was always there in the backgrounds of dance recitals, piano concerts. My mother was still my hero, my spectrum of intense was based on the levels of Luna’s heart and spirit.
Now at 16, I can’t say I’m anything like her. Because weaknesses weren’t in her description. And there is so much suffering I could never understand by the way she held her head high through all of it. It wasn’t until the police arrived, the flashing lights of the ambulance that Asher took me from her warm arms.
He tried sitting me down beside him while he talked to the officers, but I wouldn’t have it. Must have been the Krause in me, but it was the first time Asher was compassionate and held me tighter. Maybe he realized that we both lost our other half. Or perhaps he realized her broken arm with the words metanoia tattooed was still outreached toward me.
Tears didn’t wash down my face. I wish someone would have been there to slap my virgin cheeks and tell me to shed some pity and respect thy mother. Yet, it didn’t occur to me what was happening, why my mother was frozen in time, and the crimson red turned a dried maroon around her lips. The way they tucked her in so she wouldn’t be cold, she was just taking a nap with shining eyes still glistening in our direction.
At 9 years old, I couldn’t hold back my first word, and though she was couldn’t hear my voice anymore, I looked down at the woman who gave up worlds for me, and I said, “bye, momma.”
Other Books by Laikyn Meng
CHOICE
TRUE LIES Series:
1.Broken Bonds
(Autumn Jazmine & Jenkins)
2.Lost Salute
(Briggs & Trae Lae)
3.Sacrificing Lovers
(Laney & Noah)
4.Souvenir Souls
(All Characters)
Ever Duet
Didn’t We Say Forever?
Promise Me Never
FUTURE RELEASES
MUM’S THE WORD SERIES
Muffle: A Love Like Luna’s
Minder: Olallie’s Offering
Metanoia: Calhoun’s Courage
Miffed: Kalonie’s Kalon
Memoriter: Leonie’s Latibule
Morosis: Lennox’s Hard Knocks
BLOOD OF BEAUTIES
1.CHICAGO LEO
2.TRUTH THAT TORTURES
3.SOUR DIESEL
Laikyn Meng was born.
Award-winning Indie Author, who creates intimate and edgy content.
Penning promise to the authentic voice for the New Adult genre.
Laikyn's unique tone perks up eager ears, a poetic dance with a dark flare.
Love language consists of the dictionary, making her a glorified logophile. Fascinated with the color orange. Eternally optimistic. Japanese at the knees, because of only a quarter.
Momma to three descendants, in which they actively participate in living room dance-offs.
If there is but one thing you take from her characters and their worlds, is that you are never alone. Through every breakup, new experience, falling in love, becoming someone new, Laikyn as a writer is here for you.
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