by K R Leikvoll
The day had finally come.
I could see him leaning against the railing, staring at the nebula in the sky. The fact that his desire to see the stars was similar to my own gave me chills—the bad kind. There were too many people managing the ship nearby for me to react the way I had been rehearsing. I took a deep breath and rested against the railing as casually as I could.
"Get the fuck out of my head," I whispered, glaring directly into his red and black eyes. The corners of his lips curled into a slight smile as he ignored me. "I will get you out one way or another," I stated more forcefully.
"You cannot destroy your very being. I believe that means I am here to stay," his voice whispered in my ear.
"I hate you. You are a terrible piece of shit. You've done terrible things... you're worse than Hitler," I hissed as quietly as I could manage. His laughter filled my ears.
"You flatter me," he chuckled in response.
"I'm going to kill every last demon—do you hear me?" I said exasperated and a bit too loudly. "Then I'm going to kill you."
"Where is Maundrell on that list? Before or after?" he asked, finally turning his attention to me.
I didn't know how to respond. His laughter echoed in my skull when he saw me struggling to answer.
"I define demons as evil, twisted motherfuckers like you," I whispered fiercely.
"Oh, please, you don’t even know the guy," he responded, rolling his eyes.
"I know he's not a monster," I said, starting to raise my voice again. I wanted to kick that asshole's teeth in.
"You've said that about someone else before," he fired back at me. "Sweet, sweet, angelic James... remember that? You think about it all the time. Torment yourself over Maundrell; he's a demon too. We all are."
I don't know why I hadn't thought about it until that moment, but I hadn't realized that he could hear my thoughts the entire time. How long had it been happening? My whole life? It terrified me more than it infuriated me. He could browse my brain at his own pace, whenever he wanted. It felt like I had a parasite living in my brain.
I did have a parasite living in my brain.
"And you, my darling, little fiend, are just like me."
His shadows swirled around my being as he laughed with amusement. They shoved me into the railing like a heavy gust of wind before he evaporated entirely. I could feel the ring buzzing on my finger in distress until his presence was seemingly gone. I knew he wasn't really gone and it terrified the hell out of me. I wasn't like him. I wasn't.
"Valentine, are you okay?" I heard a voice say nearby. I physically jumped from how startled I was to see Kirin rushing over to me. Damn it.
"I'm fine," I responded, my voice slightly shaking.
"You look very pale. Did you have a vision?" he asked searching my face for answers. I nervously shook my head.
"Just... seasick. Ate too fast," I lied through my teeth. He raised an eyebrow.
"I don't think that's all. What's wrong?" He stepped closer, blocking everyone else out. I had to think of something more convincing. I decided it would be better to choose a topic I was actually upset about versus continuing my lie.
"You haven't even looked in my direction in a week. Why do you care now?" I asked folding my arms across my chest.
"I do care. I'm sorry; we've been busy planning for our arrival on Kaeda. We have to keep you safe. Evya is near a lot of enemy territory. We don't need a repeat of last time," he told me, placing his hand on my shoulder. It was the first contact he had with me in a while.
"You still could say hi or something," I said, shrugging him off and turning back toward the sea. My long, white hair—in contrast with the darkness of the water—was blowing around me in the wind. I really wanted to cut it all off, but apparently that was sacrilege. No matter how much of a hazard it was, I had to keep it.
Kirin leaned against the railing beside me. He was standing in almost the same place Vince had been. It was hard not to feel like there were bugs crawling under my skin with how much I let Vince get to me. I was willing to bet that he was in my brain right now, enjoying my torment.
Kirin grabbed my hand, startling me out of my thoughts. He pulled it to his chest discreetly.
"Hello," he replied sarcastically with a grin. It was almost enough to forget about the incident with Vince. He brought my fingers to his lips for a brief moment. Naturally, it melted me into a puddle.
"Hi," I replied shyly. He brushed his thumb against my cheek.
"I've missed your smile," he whispered so nobody else could hear. The sound of someone walking past us made him adjust his distance. "We do have a meeting though. We would like you to be a part of it," he said going back to business as if nothing had happened at all. At least it would be something other than sitting in Mortos' room staring at the ceiling.
We walked together to the tiny room Mortos had been using as an office. It was the size of a small walk-in closet, but somehow Kirin, Ronen, Mortos, and I were all crammed in with the doors closed. It smelled like a lot of alcohol and testosterone. Mortos was tucked behind his desk, which was almost pushed up against the wall. I was given the singular chair across from him, with Ronen and Kirin behind me on either side.
The captain hovered over a large map, puffing on his usual cigar. He seemed to be contemplating something. Ashes fell and smeared all over the parchment, but he didn't seem to notice. The lantern hanging from the ceiling swayed back and forth with the ship. It almost gave me motion sickness.
"I think the shoreline is going to be risky. Who knows which direction they may have gone," Mortos told us, puzzled, stroking his beard.
"If they are even still alive," Ronen mumbled.
"They are," Kirin stated confidently. "They're far too smart to perish that easily. They are hiding somewhere, and we just have to find them."
Mortos glanced up from the map and laughed.
"Do you think they will welcome you with open arms this time?” He paused for a moment. “They have to; you are the High Emperor now," he finished, clearly giving Kirin a hard time. Ronen thought it was funny and laughed, too. High Emperor… when I heard that title, I didn't picture Kirin. I raised an eyebrow at Mortos, who was having a second round of laughter at his expense. Kirin looked a bit annoyed, but not angry.
"What happened in Evya?" I asked him curiously. He rolled his eyes and ignored my question.
"They locked him in a hole for a while with your boyfriend," Mortos said to me with his cigar in his mouth, beaming. They locked Kirin in a hole with my boyfriend? Who was my boyfriend? The room got awkwardly quiet as I worked out his words.
"James was never my boyfriend," I mumbled, flustered. My face was hot. Hell, faced with who my real father was, I kind of wished Kirin had been right.
Mortos chuckled. "Your blush reveals your lie," he teased, putting out his cigar with a hiss.
Kirin cleared his throat. "What is the docking situation?" he asked, changing the subject for my sake.
"We may have to fight our way inland. I cannot spare everyone. We will still need people to look after the Valkyrie," Mortos replied.
"You should stay with the ship, then," Kirin stated.
"No, the captain should come with us," Ronen intervened. "If we travel as a group, we will no doubt attract too much attention. I think we would be better off with a landing party, then just us four can move inland."
"What if the Infernal Army is sitting further south than we think? Do you think four people are a match for that?" Mortos inquired of Ronen.
"I survived on Kaeda with the recon team for years, Captain," he responded. "There is no reason to risk our crew unnecessarily. Besides, we have the King and we have the Divinus. You should send the Valkyrie to Kaza'mae. If we haven't found the Evyans by the time we get that far inland, at least the ship will be waiting for us."
My time reading had helped me get to know the geography of Praetis. Evya was the southern part of Kaeda. Kaza'mae was the smaller kingdom separated by a bit of the ocean in
the southwest. That seemed like a pretty far walk from the eastern coast.
"And what do you think, my King?" Mortos asked Kirin respectfully, despite the jokes from earlier. I glanced at him over my shoulder.
"I agree with Ronen. I doubt Lazarus would move her army south at a time like this. We have enough skill between us to fight off whatever comes our way," he answered confidently.
"And you Luxza?" Mortos asked me. Everyone stared at me patiently, waiting for an answer.
"Um... I think that you guys probably know better than I do. I don't really know why we are going there in the first place," I said truthfully.
"Because of this," Kirin said placing a bright blue light on the table with a thud too loud for how weightless it appeared. It was the scroll, glowing like some sort of secret treasure. I guess it was, wasn't it? I swallowed hard, remembering how terrifying that tunnel was. It was hard to recall the encounter with James after how overpowering the fear of drowning had been. Did he really appear to me or was it my brain playing tricks?
Everyone was staring at me again.
"Did you read it or something?" I asked Kirin.
"I can't, and I have a feeling you can't either," he replied with a sideways look. "Try for us, please."
With an unsure hand, I lifted it off the desk. The ring instantly started humming with anticipation. I felt every pair of eyes on me, staring holes through my skin. They were all waiting anxiously for me to do something. I had been curious about its contents for a long time. Slightly shaking, I pulled it open.
The weathered paper—which was closer to fabric than parchment—had long lines that formed a language I didn't understand. Not only could I not understand it, the words were also moving chaotically all over the page. It was almost as if it was trying to prevent me from seeing what it said. I flipped it upside down and sideways in an attempt to make sense of it. After I accepted I couldn’t read it, I closed it slowly. Only the Divinus could read the scroll. Was Vince's presence preventing me from reading it?
"What did it say?" Mortos asked right away.
"She can't read it," Kirin interrupted before I could respond. "Her Nephilim blood prevents it. That's why we have to find them. Alvir will know what to do."
"We do not know if that old Evyan is still alive. What if we find them all, but he has died of old age? If he is the only one that can help us, and he is dead, Lazarus wins," Mortos said with a shrug. I didn't know who they were talking about. All of our plans seemed too reliant on a lot of variables. It was anxiety-inducing.
"Oh, he's alive, Yahven. He wouldn't die before meeting the Nephilim," Kirin replied. I felt him brush his fingers against my back. It was probably to reassure me, but I wasn't sure.
"How far are we from Kaeda?" I asked. I wanted to be off the damn boat already. That room made me feel especially claustrophobic.
"Only a couple days off. I know you are anxious to be treated like royalty by the Evyans," Mortos replied.
"More like I want to spend a single day not seasick," I snapped, annoyed. I didn't know an awful lot about the Evyans, but I knew that they were fans of the Divines. I wasn't sure if that meant they'd like me or if they'd hate me when they saw that I was only half light.
They let me leave after another cramped hour of talking about docking plans. Everyone was arguing about an actual landing point and other stuff that really didn't have anything to do with me. I spent the time thinking about how things were spiraling out of control. I wasn't going to be able to keep my secret about Vince hidden for a lot longer. If Lazarus and the worm knew I was Vince's child right away, there was probably a chance someone else might recognize it, too. I needed to start figuring out a way to tell Kirin.
At least he was kind enough to walk me to my room after the meeting. I kept trying to work up the courage to say it to him, all the way there. Each time, the words failed to come out. We had made our way there in silence. He must've been thinking about something as well; I was too preoccupied with my own issues to pick up on what it was.
"Time to be strong again," he said, grabbing my hands in his. "The others might try to fight you on using the demonic power, but you do what you have to do okay? I won't let you burn."
"I won't let you either," I mumbled. I was begging my brain to let me tell him. Just say it! Say it! Tell him already!
"Hey! I promise I won't let anything happen to you," Kirin said sharply, tilting my face toward him. He thought that I was worried about docking or something. I pulled away from his gaze and hugged him. Fuck. Why can't I just say it?! Why am I such a coward?! His hands busied themselves by softly running up and down my back while I fought the torment from my thoughts.
"Why are you nice to me now? You were stupid mean when I first met you," I whispered, closing my eyes. I wasn't going to be able to tell him. I needed more time.
He chuckled.
"Imagine this: the entire world can only be saved by one singular person. Everyone and everything that matters relies on them. When you go to retrieve them, you find them jumping to their death. The only thing you can do is risk your own life to save them, and then all they want to do is fight you and call you names," he murmured. Damn... that was me, wasn't it? "But slowly she starts to see who she is; that she's not weak. She saves your life like you saved hers." His fingers intertwined with mine. His eyes had eventually returned to normal, and without having any reason to use demonic power, they had stayed perfectly silver. They were searching mine with an emotion I still wasn't sure of. "And despite all of the challenges put before her, she overcomes them every time. You aren't the person you were when you got here. Alex, Eve… James… would be so proud of you."
I wasn't sure what to say in response. Kirin bent down closer.
"For a while, I thought I was going to have to watch everyone die while I failed them. Now we are finally on the right path. It's all thanks to you, Valentine."
Was it really thanks to me? I didn't think so. He did most of the fighting, even when we had a larger group.
"Stop. I haven't done anything. You know that."
He smiled with a fanged grin and cupped my face in his hands. "You stop," he whispered back. His lips hesitated near mine. I closed my eyes.
The loud crash of the door being thrown open startled us away from each other. Mortos was looking at us with a raised eyebrow as he grabbed something off his desk. Kirin was incredibly agitated at his presence, which everyone in the room could sense. His rigid, forward stance almost looked like he was about to throw Mortos out of the room by his feet. I awkwardly crawled into the bed and wrapped the furs around me, feeling utterly embarrassed.
"Sorry boss," he said with a wink, shutting the door behind him.
Moment ruined, Kirin bent down and kissed my forehead. I guessed it was time for him to disappear for the next few days.
"Goodnight. Enjoy the bed while it lasts," he said as he walked to the door. He met my longing stare with a small smile before leaving me completely alone again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Landing on the Kaedan shore was a bit more treacherous than I originally thought it would be. The continent came into sight in the middle of the night a couple days after our meeting. I was having dreams about James and college when Kirin threw open the door nearly giving me a heart attack.
"Val! Wake up!" he yelled, clapping his hands together loudly.
"What's going on?" I mumbled exhausted. I had stayed up late with anticipation and most likely had only slept a few hours. It was killing me inside. Apparently, I was taking too long to get out of bed, because he bundled me into his arms a few seconds later. We went down the hallway and up to the dock. Everyone rushed around us with purpose. Kirin carried me to the bow of the ship and pointed out in front. I climbed out of his arms.
We were sailing along the coastline of a beautiful, green country. It looked so much like Earth that it made me homesick. The trees were massive, like California Redwoods. They blocked the shore's view of the land they were so dense. I
t looked super dark too—some sort of Blair Witch Project woods. The nature isn’t what everyone was paying attention to, though.
It was the mass of skeletons with bright purple eyes between us and the forest, blocking our path.
There had to be over a hundred of them. Some were over twelve feet tall, others were similar to my size. All were holding various steel weapons. We were outnumbered.
"Why don't we go further down the coast?" I inquired scanning the small bone army. Kirin shook his head.
"We have a contact we need to meet. He might be the only person that knows where the Evyans are. Besides, these are just skeletons. Should be an easy fight with our presence," he said, including me. It had been a while since I used the demonic power or the ring; I was nervous about it.
"What about sacrifice?" I asked anxiously. He told me not to worry about it, but he had been acting so distant in front of others that it seemed like it might be an issue. He didn't want to be seen together. I could bet he didn't want people seeing us exchanging blood. Sacrilege, right?
He grabbed my hand despite everyone around us. "I already told you. Once our feet hit the ground, survival is the most important thing. Naadea was child's play compared to Kaeda. This is the demon capitol; we have to lay waste to them or they'll do it to us," he told me, squeezing my palm.
Lay waste. It almost sounded like he was trying to give me permission to lose control, though looking at all of the skeletons below made me think I might not have a choice. I hadn't really done that before, and it didn’t sound safe. I had a sinking feeling that using the demonic power like that could result in giving Vince more dominion over my mind. Too bad I didn't know how to use any weapons.
The Valkyrie lurched as it hit the sand. Kirin caught me before I went over the railing. The sound of heavy footsteps behind me made me turn around. The captain, Ronen, and six other men were standing beside us. Kirin, Mortos and Ronen had all their weapons and bags for traveling, while the crew members wore light armor and brandished swords. I was just wearing leather pants and a loose black shirt, didn't feel very protected. My lack of weapon made me feel even more out of place. I didn't even have a bag to carry. Let's hope the ring felt like blocking.