West still keeps quiet, not even glancing my way.
My heart aches at how cold he is toward me.
“I just thought that after what happened, I could use some extra training. I’ve been working on my own, but it’s not the same as training with somebody else.” I fold my fingers together, angling my body toward his. “I was hoping that you would help me with training. I thought maybe if you helped me, I could make some real progress.”
Finally, he turns toward me. But his reaction isn’t what I expected. He doesn’t talk, he just starts laughing. He laughs so hard that he has tears in his eyes and he wipes them away. I wonder what was so funny about what I asked.
West looks at me, shaking his head. “There is no way that I am going to waste my time training a delicate princess like you.”
Even though I know he meant his words as an insult, I can’t help but smile.
West hasn’t called me ‘Princess’ in a week and a half. If he’s insulting me again, it means he’s talking to me again. I can handle him insulting me. What I can’t handle is him pretending that I don’t exist.
“You know, I’m not as delicate as you think I am.” I turn and look out at the water. “If Kal jumped between a gun and you, you would’ve reacted the same way as I did.”
“Kal wouldn’t jump between me and a gun. He only did it for you because I told him to protect you. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. Maybe I should’ve just let you get shot.”
I flinch at the harshness of his words, but I try not to let them get to me. He’s upset right now. A member of his team could’ve been hurt a lot worse, and it was my fault.
“I wish it had been me instead of Kal.” It’s something I’ve thought about a lot since it happened. I don’t like that Kal jumped in front of a gun for me. I don’t like that he’s hurt because of me. It doesn’t feel right.
West turns toward me abruptly. “Don’t say that.”
The panic in the tone of his voice has me turning toward him. “Didn’t you just say that?”
“Kal took a bullet for you, yes. But he was barely hurt. Nicholas Johnson wasn’t aiming at you to injure you. He was aiming at you to kill you. And he would have killed you. It’s why I didn’t hesitate. When he shot his gun, I shot mine. I wasn’t going to let him do that—not to you and not to Kal.” West lets out a long breath. “Despite what you think, I don’t hate you. I never have. I just don’t think you belong in The Royals. I hope you prove me wrong, but after what happened, I just don’t see that happening.”
“You’re wrong.” I stand up from my chair. “I will prove you wrong, West. Just watch.”
I don’t wait for his reaction. I just turn and walk back inside.
I swear I hear him mumble something that sounds like, “I hope you do,” but I had to be imagining it. Because, despite what West told me, I think he does hate me. He wants me off the team. And the worst part about it all is I can’t blame him. If I were him, I’d want me off the team too.
I am disappointed that West said he wouldn’t train me. Out of everybody on the team, I feel like I have the most to prove to him. Who better to train me?
Still... I can’t be mad about the conversation we had, because we made such progress. At least he’s talking to me again. And calling me by that stupid nickname.
I’m ‘Princess’ again, and I can’t even be mad about it.
Will you train me?
After leaving West on the balcony, I know that I have to ask one of the other guys to train me. I refuse to give up just because West said no.
I go through my options, trying to figure out who to ask. My first choice is Kal, but he’s recovering still. And then there is the whole getting him shot thing. He’s a little mad at me, not that I can blame him, I’d be mad at me, too, if I were him. But I just can’t ask him right now.
I could ask Ian, but I think Ian is the only person who hates me more than West. And while he is a great fighter, I don’t think he’d want to take time away from hacking to help me do anything. He’s only happy when he’s at the computer.
That leaves...
Alek.
Alek is a great fighter. He’s second in command in our group and he trains hard. But... he doesn’t exactly like me.
Since the day I met the guys, Alek was on the fence about me. He didn’t ‘hate’ me, but he also didn’t like me. He was waiting to make up his mind about me. But since what happened in Santorini, he’s more than made up his mind. He’s decided that he hates me.
I wonder if I should even approach him. He’s probably going to say no right off the bat, but I have to at least try. I want to show him and West and all the other guys that I am not the scared little ‘Princess’ they think I am.
Ian is sitting on the couch on his laptop. When he hears the patio door slide open, he looks up. His eyes meet mine for only a split second before he looks away. It’s how it’s been for the past nine days—Ian absolutely despises me, so much that he can’t even handle looking at me.
Still, I can’t deny my chest aches from his dismissal.
I look at the time on my phone. Kal is doing his physical therapy right now, and Alek is probably in his room. He’s also studying to learn French, but he’s having problems learning. I’m lucky because at least the English language has the same alphabet as French. But Russian is Alek’s first language—apparently, he didn’t even learn to read and write English until a few years ago.
I reach a hand up and knock on the door to the room that he shares with Kal and Ian.
“Entrez,” Alek calls.
His Russian accent is somehow heavier when he speaks French and he pronounces the ‘Z’ at the end like he’s saying an English word. It sounds like he’s saying ‘on treys.’ But he will get there eventually, especially with how much time he spends studying.
“Ça va?” I ask, as I open his door. I stand in the doorway, not wanting to come in farther unless he gives me permission.
He scrunches his eyebrows together and begins typing on his computer. “I don’t know what that means.”
“I was just asking how are you.” I wave a hand, because it’s not important. I didn’t realize just how bad Alek’s French was.
He sighs, shutting his computer. “You can come in. Just shut the door behind you.”
So, I do enter their room.
I haven’t been in here since that first day we came. Not a lot has changed since then—the room is surprisingly spotless, considering three guys sleep in here. And this room still has the best view. I am a little jealous that they get the good view, but I suppose since I have a room to myself I can’t complain.
Alek moves his computer off his bed and pats the spot, inviting me to sit beside him.
I walk over, taking the seat. I angle my body toward his. My palms are sweaty and my heart is racing at the thought of asking Alek to train me. I don’t know what I will do if he says no, too.
“You remind me of my cousin’s wife,” Alek says.
I don’t quite know how to respond, so I just look at him.
“She was a Russian prostitute. My cousin married her and rescued her from the streets,” Alek explains. “Prostitution is a big problem in Russia.”
I remind him of a prostitute?
“It is a compliment. My cousin’s wife is exceptionally beautiful.” He grins, like he believes comparing me to a prostitute is a compliment. “You would make a lot of money if you were in Russia. Russian men like blonde hair and blue eyes on their women. Maybe a rich man would rescue you, too. Because you’re so pretty.”
This conversation is just weird, but I keep my mouth shut about how strange it is because I don’t want to make Alek mad before I ask him what I need to ask. And this... it’s the most Alek has talked to me since Santorini. He’s almost back to his normal weird self.
“I was hoping I could ask a favor of you,” I tell Alek, changing the subject from prostitutes.
“What favor?” He smirks. “And does this favor mean I get a fa
vor?”
I take a deep breath before answering. “I was wondering if you would train me.”
Alek just looks at me, not saying anything at all.
Yikes. That isn’t a good sign.
I continue talking before he can decide it’s a bad idea. “It’s just I don’t want anybody else to get hurt like Kal was. And I thought if you trained me, maybe I could not be such an epic failure.”
He narrows his eyes. “I don’t want to train you, but I also don’t want anybody else to get hurt. I’ve seen you trip over your own feet when you walk across the room. Clearly you need help. But I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for the team and I’m doing it for Kal.”
“Thank you.”
Even though his harsh words hurt, I know I deserve them. What happened with Kal can never happen again.
“Go get dressed.” He stands up from his bed. “We’ll start now.”
I jump up and run to my own room, getting dressed as quickly as I can. I throw on my gym clothes and put my hair up so it’ll be out of the way. A couple of minutes later, when I come out of my room, I hear Ian and Alek arguing about something in the living room. I hear my name thrown into the mix, but they both abruptly stop the second I shut my door and walk out.
I’m sure Alek was just telling Ian that he is going to train me, and of course Ian didn’t like it. Ian doesn’t want any of the team talking with me. Anytime they do talk to me, he gets really upset. I really have got to sit down and have a conversation with Ian, but I should wait for him to calm down a little bit. Right now, he can’t even stand to be in the same room as me.
“You ready?” Alek asks.
I nod.
Ian huffs. “Why are you even wasting your time training her?”
A pit in my stomach grows.
Ian hates me so much that he won’t even acknowledge me when I’m standing right in front of him.
“I trained you, or are you forgetting?” Alek asks Ian. “You might not like it, but Roxy is part of our team. Until that changes, it’s my duty to help her.”
Until it changes?
Meaning he thinks it will change.
Tears press against the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I don’t want Alek or Ian to know just how much their words hurt me.
“West said one more mistake, right?” Ian shakes his head. “Maybe we should push her for one more mistake so she will be gone.”
I cross my arms over my chest, taking a step closer to Ian. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I know where you sleep, Ian Kessler. If I were you, I’d be a lot nicer.”
Alek chuckles, putting his hand on the small of my back. “If you weren’t so bad at your job, you wouldn’t be a bad teammate to have. I like your sense of humor.”
Sense of humor? I was being serious. And I suspect Ian knows that. He glares at me for a moment before turning his attention back to his computer. Once again, he’s pretending I don’t exist. Now I realize maybe it’s a good thing that he pretends I don’t exist. Him talking to me is definitely worse.
With his hand on my back, Alek leads me out the front door of our condo. As we walk toward the stairs, he grins at me.
“Don’t worry, Ian will come around.”
I hope he’s right.
Can you forgive me?
Alek and West leave that night to do whatever it is they do when they go out. It’s Thursday night, so I don’t imagine they’re going out on dates or anything like that. Knowing them, they’re probably doing extra training, or maybe Michael Sinclair gave them a job that the rest of us can’t know about. But Kal, Ian, and I are left home alone.
Ian is in his room with the door shut. He’s been in there since Alek and I came back from training earlier, and I imagine he will stay there the whole night. He’s not exactly excited about Alek training me and I think he’s trying to avoid me. That’s fine with me. I’d rather not have Ian silently hating me from behind his computer screen.
Kal is relaxed on the couch. He’s got his legs stretched out on one side of the sectional and he’s using a pillow to prop up his head. He’s got some show playing about some succubus that is a private investigator. I’m not paying too much attention to it.
I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to Kal since we left Santorini. Things were crazy when we left. Once we got back home, he had a lot of doctor appointments and he’s been doing his physical therapy to get his arm back in shape. He will completely recover, there is no permanent damage—for which I am so thankful. I have no idea what I would do if the shot had ended his Spy School career before it had even begun.
Apologizing is hard. Not because I have a problem admitting when I’ve done wrong, I know that I was in the wrong. It’s hard because even though Kal has already told me he forgives me, I feel like he shouldn’t forgive me.
Kal sighs, flicking off the TV. “Roxy, I can literally feel the tension coming off of you right now. Just come sit on my lap and tell me what you need to tell me.”
I laugh, but only because Kal hasn’t changed. Ironically, he is the only one who doesn’t hate me, but he is the one who should hate me.
“I’m not sitting on your lap unless you let me call you Santa and you give me a present,” I say.
He smirks. “You can call me anything you want if you sit on my lap, and I promise you would enjoy it very much.”
My face warms as I realize he took what I said completely the wrong way.
Still, I can’t deny that I am attracted to Kal. I am. But I would never act on it. These guys are my teammates and if I had a relationship with any of them, it would ruin everything—even if it were just a physical one.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to choke out, changing the subject away from sitting on Kal’s lap.
“I already forgave you in Santorini.” Kal waves his hand like it’s nothing. But he got shot trying to protect me. He got shot simply because I was stupid. It’s not nothing—it’s everything. He literally saved my life. “If you really want to make up for it, there is one thing that would make me feel better.”
I roll my eyes, knowing he’s joking. If he wasn’t joking, I’d punch him right where he was shot and he knows it.
Still, I do scoot next to him on the couch. He’s the only one who doesn’t seem to mind when I’m near him.
The smirk falls from his face as he turns to face me. “You know, West is tough—really tough. But he’s also a good leader. Listen to him.”
I’m learning that. Even though West hates me, he is a good leader. I know that. I won’t fight him again, even if I don’t like his orders.
“Ian hates me now.” My eyes go toward the closed door. I imagine Ian is on the other side, probably hacking into my credit report. I’ll never be able to buy a house by the time he’s done messing with me.
“He’ll grow to like you.” Kal grabs onto my hand and squeezes it. “I didn’t like you at first, either, and now look at us.”
Kal jokes to try and make me feel better. I’m glad for him. He does make everything seem like it might be okay. As long as I don’t mess up anytime soon, maybe being part of their team is actually possible. I just wish I didn’t always feel like I was walking on glass around the guys.
“My parents weren’t Royals,” Kal tells me.
I haven’t told him about my parents and I’m definitely not going to now, but I do want to hear about his parents.
“What generation are you?” I ask.
“Third,” he answers. “The worst part about it all is my parents can’t even know that I’m in The Royals. They just think I’m an elite agent—one of Michael Sinclair’s favorites. They’re so proud of me. I just wish I could tell them the truth. They think I’m on an undercover mission for Spy School right now. One that I’m not allowed to talk about, and I hate it. I only get to talk to them a few times a year.”
“You must have been close to your parents,” I observe. Because talking to my parents a few times a year is a few times too many. I’d rath
er never talk to them. But even though I’m eighteen-years-old, they’ve got their talons in so deep.
“Oh, I am.” He furrows his brows, carefully studying my face. “Are you close with your parents?”
I shake my head. “Nah, they suck, but I’d rather not talk about them.”
He nods, probably because I’m not the only person at Spy School with a tragic back story. A lot of kids are raised by nannies and tutors, forgotten by their busy parents. It’s just the way our world works. I’m glad that Kal was spared, though. It gives me hope that maybe someday I won’t treat my children the way my parents treated me.
“My little sister just started Spy School this semester,” Kal informs me, changing the subject. “She sends me daily email updates. Apparently, she has a boyfriend now. Ian did a background check on the guy, and I guess he’s a good guy, but I still don’t like him.”
“Do you like having a sibling?” I ask, because I’ve always wondered what it would be like. Maybe if I had a brother or sister, somebody on my side, things would be different.
“She’s pretty great. I miss her a lot. But, on the off chance that you meet her, I will deny ever saying I like her.”
I laugh, knowing he doesn’t mean it. I’m sure his sister knows that he cares for her. I can see it in his eyes. He really does miss her—he misses all his family.
“We were stationed in Hawaii long term,” Kal says. “When my parents were pregnant with me, they went on vacation there. Michael Sinclair really doesn’t like agents working when they’re pregnant—the mom or the dad. So, they rented a house there, knowing they couldn’t work for a while, and a case sort of fell into their lap. I was two weeks old and a guy they befriended went missing. It turned out there was this whole group of terrorists right there in their piece of paradise. Michael Sinclair sent more agents to work with them, but they stayed. And that’s where I grew up.”
“That sounds incredible.” I would’ve loved to have been raised in Hawaii, not that South America wasn’t great—it was. It just wasn’t home. I was always that weird white girl. Even when I’d spend a lot of time outdoors and I’d get tanned, my blonde hair would lighten.
The Unwanted Spy Page 9