“Sorry you voted for me yet?” I ask Ian.
He grins at me despite the pain and he shakes his head. “No. Even if I knew that we would end up here again, I’d still vote for you, every time.”
My heart swells.
I will never deserve Ian’s kindness.
Kal comes back with a bunch of sticks in his hands, dropping them by Alek.
“This will work, but I need something else. Like a piece of fabric or something.” Alek scratches at the scruff on his jaw.
I let go of Ian’s hand, standing up. “I’m wearing a lot of layers. Maybe you can cut off the bottom of my shirt and use it.”
Alek nods. “That might work.”
I unzip my jacket, dropping it to the ground and I lift my hoodie from my body.
I’m so glad I chose to wear so many layers.
Alek stands from the ground and walks over with his knife. He cuts off the bottom part of my shirt, leaving me a cropped top. I get back down on my knees by Ian, holding his hand while Alek gets to work. I will put my hoodie back on after Ian is fixed up. For now, I don’t want to let go of his hand anymore.
“Thank you, Roxy,” Ian says.
“I’m the reason your leg is broken to begin with.” My stomach knots up with guilt. “I’m so sorry, Ian.”
“It’s my fault, too.” He lets out a moan as Alek tightly wraps his leg. “It’s all our fault. We wouldn’t even be here if we hadn’t been fighting.”
We all silently soak in Ian’s words while Alek finishes with Ian’s leg. I continue to hold onto his hand, wishing it was me with a broken leg instead.
“We’re going to have to keep moving,” West says, looking up at the sky. “I don’t think we have a whole lot of daylight left.”
It’s hard to tell because of all the trees. I can’t even see the sun up above.
I shiver from the cold.
“Put your jacket back on,” Ian says.
I grab my hoodie, slipping it over my head, then I zip up my jacket. I wonder if this will even be enough tonight.
“There is no way he’s going to be able to walk,” Kal says.
“Then we’ll have to carry him.” West looks at Kal. “I guess we can all take shifts. It’ll slow us down, but we don’t exactly have an option.”
He’s right.
We’ve got to keep moving.
Spy School would expect us to know how to get ourselves out of this. If we couldn’t handle this, then we wouldn’t be very good agents.
“Onward we go, then,” Alek says.
I try to offer Ian a smile, but a tear slips from my eye. He reaches over and wipes it away, but winces as if the movement really hurt.
“We’re going to be okay, Roxy. I promise.”
I hope he’s right because right now, everything seems so bleak.
A truce?
Alek and West both carry Ian for a while, but then Kal and Alek switch up after a bit, carrying him.
Poor Ian. Every time I glance toward him, my chest aches. He looks like he’s in so much pain. His face is pale and he keeps wincing as if every step Kal and Alek take hurts him. I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. I’ve broken a bone before and I can’t imagine that pain long term, like he’s feeling right now.
No matter what Ian says, it is my fault that we’re in the forest. The guys and I were fighting because of me. Then Ian got knocked over because West and I were physically fighting, and I was the one who initiated the fight between West and myself, therefore it’s more my fault than West’s.
West and I share a look, as if we’re both thinking the same thing.
He feels guilty about the fight, too, I know he does.
He reaches his hand over, grabbing onto mine. He doesn’t say anything, he just squeezes my hand so gently. I know that this is West’s way of saying he’s sorry. He wants to make a truce for the time being, and I completely agree. We need to focus on surviving and getting out of the woods right now. We have to work together.
The five of us really do make a good team, once we get over our bickering. Ian is the smart one—I swear he can hack or solve anything you need. And Alek is so strong. I feel safe out in the woods with him. Nothing will hurt us as long as he’s here. Kal is so charming—he could talk somebody off the ledge of a building, but he’s also so sweet and would literally give you the shirt off his back, even if he needed it. And West is a freaking great leader. He might not always do what I want or what I expect, but he somehow knows what is right for the team.
Thinking about how amazing they are makes me realize how unspectacular I am. I know it’s not true, I do have good things about me, but after being told by my mom for so long that I’m not good enough, I sometimes believe it.
“What’s wrong?” West squeezes my hand.
I sigh, looking over at him. “Nothing. I just... why did you vote for me?”
He rubs at the scruff on his jaw. “Honestly?”
I nod.
“I had been watching you for a while,” he starts. “Since you were a freshman. Your file always talked about how no matter how many times you got knocked down, you always got back up, and that you trained twice as hard and as long as a lot of your peers. I admire that a lot about you.”
“Yeah, but I got knocked down a lot.” Like, a lot, a lot. So much that I began to wonder if I would ever be good enough to be an agent. Like, yes, I did eventually get better, but it took me so long to get to a point where I could hold my own in a fight.
“You did,” he agrees with a smile on his face. “I also thought you were really pretty. And I was looking at the list of students that we had to choose from, and no matter what happened, I kept coming back to your picture. I honestly didn’t even realize that your parents were Royals until that night we did a video chat with them. I didn’t even think about your last name.”
I let out a breath in relief. “I thought maybe my parents were the reason.” I pause. “Though maybe I should be a little offended that my looks played a part in why you voted for me.”
He laughs. “It wasn’t the reason, I promise. It just your looks made you stand out a little more. I knew voting for a girl would be a bad idea. I thought there was no way Michael Sinclair would choose you, so I wrote your name down. Then when we walked in that room and saw you sitting there, you took my breath away. But I realize that Alek, Kal, and Ian felt the same way, so I was mad. I thought you were going to tear the team apart, and I still think you might.”
I shake my head. “I promise I won’t let that happen. I’ll leave before I let that happen.”
“If you left, it would happen anyway, Princess.”
I narrow my eyes. “I thought we were over that stupid nickname.”
He shrugs one shoulder. “Nah, you’ll always be Princess to me.”
Maybe Princess isn’t so bad when he doesn’t say it like an insult. Maybe he hasn’t really used it as an insult for a while and I just haven’t noticed the change. It’s been so gradual.
I wonder if West is right. I wonder if I really am going to tear the team apart. The thought of doing that scares me, but the way I feel about these guys is... strong. Stronger than it should be considering my feelings are split between the four of them.
I have to keep it friendly. I have to choose between friendship with them all or a relationship with one and risk losing the other three. I just can’t do that. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. So, I don’t really have a choice at all.
“The sun is going to start setting soon,” Alek calls from behind us.
West’s face pales as he looks up and notices just how dark it’s getting in the trees.
“We need to find water.” West frowns.
“We will,” I say, trying to encourage him. “You always seem to make the right decision when it comes to us, and I trust that you’re leading us in the right direction.”
It’s important for West to know that he has support from me. After opposing him for so long, I’m ready to finally be part of the team. I’m read
y to belong in this group of amazing men.
I don’t know if I will ever live up to the expectations they have for me, but I won’t give up. I’ll keep trying to be the best agent I can be.
As we walk forward, I can see the worry lines in West’s forehead and I can see the dark circles under his eyes. I want to distract him from whatever dark thoughts are going through his mind.
“By the way, thank you for voting for me. I know I never told you that, but I’m really glad I’m here,” I say.
He laughs. “You’re glad you’re in the middle of the forest, lost?”
“It could be worse. And if I have to be stuck in the woods with somebody, I’m glad it’s the four of you.”
West’s entire face lights up at my words, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to comfort him and make him feel the way that he always makes me feel.
“I guess since we’re telling each other things, I suppose I should apologize for the whole making out with you and then leaving you thing.” He grins entirely too big. “I didn’t want to leave you there. In fact, that was the literal hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I realized that I could develop some serious feelings for you. You deserve so much better than me. I only told you I was going to make out with other girls because I thought it would make you hate me. You hating me is less complicated. It doesn’t matter though, I’m still starting to fall for you.”
I suck in a breath.
Did West Newman seriously just say that?
I look at him with my eyes wide. “West, I don’t know if...”
He cuts me off. “I know. I know exactly where I stand with you and I know how you feel about the others. But I’m willing to wait.”
“What if I can only offer you and all the guys friendship?” I ask.
He frowns, but only for a second. “Then that is all you can offer and I’ll have to be okay with it.”
I want more than friendship; I know I do. I just don’t know how I could do that, especially knowing that Ian and Kal feel the same as West. It would be so complicated.
We trudge forward at a very slow pace while Alek and Kal carry Ian behind us. I wish I could help take turns carrying Ian, but the guys and I both know I’m not strong enough to help carry him, so I just try and do everything else I can. I make sure that Ian gets aspirin every once in a while. I’m not sure if it’s helping his pain, but maybe it is a little bit. And I listen carefully for any sound of water flowing as we walk, but so far, the only sound is of our footsteps as we crunch on leaves. Occasionally I’ll hear a bird or a squirrel and that is it.
This is a disaster.
Why choose me?
The forest is growing darker as it gets later and later into the afternoon—not that it’s really light in here anyway. The large redwood trees make a canopy, keeping most of the light from coming through, but it’s about to get really dark. We’re going to have to stop for the night and build a fire soon. I just really, really hope we find water before then.
My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten today, but I’m more thirsty than hungry. I just really, really want a huge glass of water.
Alek and West are carrying Ian now—all the guys are taking shifts. Except me, of course. Which makes me feel like the world’s biggest slacker. I wish there was something more I could do to help the team other than give Ian aspirin that really does little to numb the pain he’s in.
Kal and I walk in silence next to one another. I think we’re both too tired and thirsty to really talk. I’m not even sure my brain could make a complete sentence right now.
“Maybe we should stop now,” West yells back at us.
Nobody says anything back, which probably means we’re going to stop here for the night, but then I hear the sound of running water. It’s probably my imagination—I’ve thought I heard water on more than one occasion and it was just me being wishful. I’m so desperate for it to happen that I’ve started to imagine it.
I stop walking to listen better. All the guys stop walking too, turning to me with curious expressions.
“Please tell me that’s not me hallucinating and that I actually hear water right now,” I say.
The guys grow silent and they listen. Now that we’ve stopped rustling our shoes through the leaves, I can hear the sound even better. I take off running toward the sound. I hear footsteps chasing after me, and I know it’s Kal. West and Alek are carrying Ian.
I step through the trees and fall to my knees when I see the most beautiful stream that has ever existed.
Kal stops beside me. “It’s a melted snow stream.”
“Melted snow?” I ask.
“From the mountains,” he explains. “The snow melts and makes a stream. It’s good to drink, especially because it’s flowing so fast, but we should probably try to filter it.”
Kal and West step through into the clearing by the stream. They lay Ian down on the ground, in a place where there is a lot of soft moss and not a lot of rocks.
“What can we filter it with?” West rubs the sweat off his forehead.
Carrying Ian has got to be a really hard job. They’ve been doing it for hours. I wish there was more I could do, but at least we’ve made it to the stream. We’ll probably stop here for the night.
All the guys look at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Do you think we could use the rest of your shirt to filter the water?” West asks. “I mean, you have a hoodie and a jacket.”
He’s right.
The rest of the guys only have t-shirts and jackets, so it would make the most sense.
I unzip my jacket and slip off my hoodie. There isn’t much left of my t-shirt anyway after the splint that Alek made for Ian earlier today. I make all the guys turn their heads away as I slip it over my head. Once my hoodie is back on, I tell them it’s safe now.
West grabs the shirt, his cheeks turning pink.
Alek takes everybody’s canister and starts to filter the water, getting everybody something to drink. He fills Ian’s first, passing it over. While he’s doing that, West uses his string and hook to try and fish for some food. We’re all pretty hungry at this point, and it’s important for us to keep up our strength, especially those carrying Ian around. I can’t even imagine how many calories they burned today.
I sit down beside Ian as he gulps down his water.
Ian is looking better—his face is still really pale from being in pain, but since we’ve stopped moving he is smiling a little more. I don’t think his leg is throbbing quite as bad since he isn’t being carried around.
“You need more aspirin?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t really help.”
I nod because I didn’t figure it did. I wish there was something I could do.
Ian grabs onto my hand, offering me a smile. I know he’s trying to make me feel better about the situation we’re in, but I have so much guilt about everything. I hate this.
“I’m really sorry,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “First of all, you’ve already told me you’re sorry earlier, and I’ve long forgiven you. And second, it’s not your fault. It’s all of our faults. If we hadn’t let our fighting get so out of hand, we wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.”
“It’s not just the leg thing. It’s… everything. The fighting definitely escalated because of me. I’m stubborn and when I get something in my head it’s hard to change my mind.” I squeeze his hand. “I know I’m not easy to get along with all the time.”
“Roxy, I ignored you for almost three months. And when I wasn’t ignoring you, I was being rude to you. One of the first nights you were there, I told you to leave.” He frowns, shaking his head at the memory. “I wish I could take it back. But I am just as guilty as you are. I deserved your anger.”
Tears press against the back of my eyes. It’s been such a long day, and talking about this brings back so many bad memories. “I try to play it like I am this strong female who can ta
ke anything that comes her way, but that is all just an act. The truth is, I’ve been kind of lonely.”
He caresses my hand gently with his thumb. “I am sorry for my part in it. But I promise you that from now on, things are going to be different. You won’t be lonely anymore.”
I scoot closer to him. I try to be cautious, not wanting to hurt him. I carefully wrap my arms around his middle, squeezing him. “Thank you, Ian.”
I am thoroughly surprised when Ian puts his arms around me and hugs me back.
Ian and I have had our cuddle sessions on the couch while watching a movie, but we’ve never really hugged one another. Even with a broken leg, he gives good hugs.
After a few seconds, I pull back, not wanting to make things weird.
I glance over at West, who is still working on catching a fish. He’s got a huge smile on his face, and I know it’s because he feels like we’re going to be okay now. We can follow the stream and find a way out of here eventually. And we’ve got unlimited water and food now, so we won’t starve or get dehydrated. He feels responsible for us, so the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders.
Kal stands beside West, talking to him. Knowing Kal, he’s probably talking strategy and they’re discussing how we’re going to get out of here.
Alek steps forward, holding out my canister of water toward me. After I grab it, he walks off toward West and Kal, giving them theirs.
I open the bottle and turn it up to drink it. Maybe I should feel grossed out by the fact that this water came from a stream, but I don’t care. I’m so thirsty right now, I’d drink anything.
The water tastes surprisingly good. Like, better than any tap water I’ve ever had. It tastes clean. But even if it didn’t taste clean, I’d still gulp it down.
I empty my entire canister of water before my thirst is satisfied. Alek sees me finish, so he comes and grabs my canister and begins to refill it. He refills Ian’s while he’s at it.
After our bottles are filled, Alek goes to talk to West and Kal. I imagine we’re going to set up camp here tonight. I am about to get up from my spot and go help the rest of the guys when Alek and Kal make their way over to me.
The Unwanted Spy Page 21