Stuck in Canny Valley

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by Alden Odessa


  Wow, this felt real. “Could I get an orange and a pack of cigarettes?”

  “Sure, what brand?”

  This question caught me off guard; I hadn’t thought about brands in the game. “Uh, just whatever is most popular.”

  “Sure thing, mister.”

  The man, who was elderly, kind, and rather short and thin, turned around, bent over and came back with a pack of cigarettes. He handed them to me and then walked two steps to grab and orange that he also gave to me.

  “Five dollars, my good man,” he said.

  Shit, I didn’t know how to pay.

  Without me doing anything I saw a small icon pull up in the peripheral vision that read, -5$. So I guess I didn’t have to do anything to make that happen.

  “Have a good evening,” he said and then went to greet another customer. I decided to open up my stat screen, just to check it out.

  H: 99 $: 4995 BR: 43 T: 31 DOM: 51 PRW: 65 STR: 12

  As suspected, the money was automatically deducted from my total. The other thing that was of note was that my health had dropped from 100 to 99. I don’t know what caused that, other than the help screen had said that my actions would be reflected in my stats. So, walking around, even though it wasn’t far, had caused me to lose a little health. So now, maybe my orange would serve two purposes.

  My original thought process with it had been just to feel it. I wanted to see what the sensation of peeling an orange would feel like inside of the game. See how close to life like it really was. The answer was: Very. Peeling the orange felt the exact same as any other orange that I had ever peeled in my life. I even got that little sting of acidic juice that got under my fingernails as I peeled. There was a trashcan just a few steps away, so I threw away the peel before biting into it.

  It tasted like an orange. Except more than just an ordinary orange, it tasted like the most delicious orange I had ever had. It was amazing; it was like an explosion in my mouth. So rich and sweet. I couldn’t believe this was happening and I didn’t know the technology behind it. How on earth had the designers of this game made something like this? This was unreal.

  I finished eating the orange and checked my stats again.

  H: 100 $: 4995 BR: 43 T: 31 DOM: 51 PRW: 65 STR: 12

  As the screen had explained, eating would raise my health. I don’t know how much the orange actually did, but it got the one point I needed, and honestly, I was just experimenting with the game mechanics. I doubt I needed a whole orange to get me that one point. Either way, the experiment worked, and it got a little closer to understanding the game mechanics.

  Then I remembered my other purchase. I had put the cigarettes in my pocket when I started peeling the orange. I reached into my pocket and pulled them out. They were in a white box with a red circle on the front. In bold black letters in the middle of the circle, it read: MOST POPULAR. I found this hysterical. I had asked for the most popular brand, and that is exactly what he gave me. I undid the wrapper and realized that I hadn’t bought a match or lighter to light the cigarette. I looked around me, and there was a man standing six feet away smoking his own cigarette. Hopefully, this man was nicer than the first man I talked to on the street. I walked up to him, a tall, good-looking black man, and spoke to him. “Excuse me, sir. Do you happen to have a lighter?”

  He looked at me cautiously at first and then smiled as if he was an old friend who he hadn’t seen in a while. “Why yes, sir, I do.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a fancy lighter that he flicked open, the flame appearing.

  He moved quicker than I had. I took my pack and pulled out a single cigarette and put it in my mouth. The taste and feel of it between my lips brought back a lot of memories. I forgot how much I missed the taste. He extended his hand with the lighter to right in front of me, and I puffed until the smoke was fully lit.

  I took a big drag, letting the taste wash over the inside of my mouth. Tasted like tobacco, sweet and dirty. It was wonderful. I inhaled and, much to my surprise didn’t cough even though it had been ten years since smoke had gone into my lungs.

  I smiled and enjoyed the sensation. I heard the man’s lighter click shut, and I looked back to him. “Thank you, sir,” I said.

  “Don’t mention it,” he said, and then he walked across the street.

  I followed his movements and looked at the business on the other side of the street from where I was. In big pink neon lights, it read: “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!”

  I guess I knew where my next stop was.

  6

  Girls! Girls! Girls!

  Everything about this strip club was like a strip club in the real world, except taken up a notch.

  Most strip clubs you go to have one or two big stars, and then for every one of them, you have three or four B-listers. Then you have those that should never take their clothes off for anybody. Ever. This club was a lot different.

  Every one of these girls that I saw was a star. Not a bad one in the bunch. The girls walking around in skimpy bikinis all had big breasts, and round asses, not flat asses like you got in the real world and not one C-section scar in the building that I could see. Then there was the girl on the stage. She had her legs wrapped around the pole, upside down and her massive tits weren’t flopping down into her face. They didn’t even look that fake; they just seemed perfect. Even though she was hanging upside down, her nipples still looked me in the eyes.

  She was a hot blond with tan skin. She was wearing nothing, this was apparently a full nude bar, except for the thigh-high white heels she had on. I couldn’t tell how tall she was, but she seemed to go on for miles.

  I had a hard time taking my eyes off the girl on the stage, but what I needed most out of this place was information, so I worked my way to the bar. If this place operated anything like the real world, the bartender was always the greatest source of information. They seemed to have their finger on the pulse and would be able to lead me in the right direction to a brothel. Or maybe one of these girls. Maybe this place was a brothel. It had great advertising if that was the case.

  I worked my way to the bar even though the floor was pretty crowded with patrons. I grabbed a seat and sat down. I didn’t see the bartender, but he was probably helping other people at the moment. In my seat, I turned around and took another look at the stage. The blonde was now dancing on the stage, shaking her massive knockers for the men who were waving money at her. I don’t know where they got the money; I guess it’s just part of the game's design. I had paid for my market purchase without ever having to actually touch money.

  What a stunner, she was so realistic I felt like I could reach out and touch her. She seems real. Her tits moved in a real way, even though I know, tits like that barely exist in my world.

  “What can I get ya, boss,” came a voice from behind me. I turned, and the bartender seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

  “How ‘bout the lady on stage?”

  “Ha! Sierra? She’s not mine to sell.”

  “Then let's make it a whiskey, neat.”

  “Well or Premium.”

  “Hell, let’s make it a premium,” I said, because when in Rome…

  He turned around to get a bottle and pour my drink. I turned my body back around to look at the stage. Sierra was gone, and a new girl was coming to stage. Based on the barker behind the deejay booth her name was Candy. Because of course it was.

  I watched her for a moment as she started to do a little school girl routine to match her outfit and I heard the sound of a glass being sat down on the bar behind me. It appeared my drink was ready. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a number, looks like the drink cost me ten bucks. I turned my body back around and grabbed my drink. I reached down and lifted it to my lips and swallowed it whole. Whiskey never tasted so good. It burned, but not like whiskey in the real world burned; this was a little more pleasurable. It rested easy in my gut.

  I sat the glass down and before I had the chance to order another, I noticed a giant pair
of boobs that had pulled up a seat beside me. I looked over, and I couldn’t believe it. It was the blond from the stage. She had gotten dressed if you could call it that. She was wearing a string bikini that didn’t cover anything.

  My jaw practically hit the floor as I looked at her. She was even better looking up close. She smiled at me with perfectly white teeth, her crystal blue eyes shimmering at me. Her hair was just this side of white blonde, just enough color to look yellow in this light. Perfectly and evenly bronze, tanned skin that made her pearl smile pop even more. And then there were the boobs. Perfect. Sheer perfection in every way. Round and firm but with a hint of jiggle. I was in love and ashamed to say, getting hard.

  “Hi,” she said, and I don’t know how she could make one word sound so magical, but she did.

  This was going to ruin the whole thing as soon as I started to talk. I wasn’t used to talking to anyone this hot before, I didn’t know what to say, and I felt like I was going to stumble all over my words. In fact, I knew I was going to!

  “Hello,” I said, confidently. “Can I buy you a drink?”

  Who am I right now?!

  I didn’t stutter or stammer, and my words flowed out of my mouth with an ease that I didn’t have when talking to anybody. Ever.

  Prowess, I have a high prowess level! I thought. That must be what’s causing it. It must have something to do with how I interact with women. I really picked the right character for this game!

  “Sure,” she said in reference to the drink. “I’ll have whatever you're having.”

  I looked back to the bartender and raised up two fingers; I did this all way smoother than I would have ever done it in the real world. Sure enough, he turned around and started pouring the drinks. I made eyes at the blonde while waiting on the glasses. I was wondering if my high dominance level also had anything to do with the way she looked back at me. Or maybe she was just doing her job and making me think I was the only man in the bar.

  “What’s your name?” I asked.

  “Sierra.”

  “No, you’re real name?”

  “That is my real name,” she said with all earnestness.

  “So that’s not just like your stage name or something?”

  “No, we don’t have stage names here,” her voice was so sweet, her name should have been Candy. “What’s your name?”

  “Buster Rockknocker,” I said, using my stage name and almost started laughing as I had never actually said it out loud before. Our two glasses hit the bar in front of us, and we both grabbed them and instantly took the neat whiskeys to our mouth and swallowed them whole. Me seeing the twenty dollars disappear out of the corner of my eye.

  She slammed the glass back down on the bar. “Well Buster, how about a dance in the VIP room?”

  I put my glass on the table and leaned towards her and took in her smell. It smelled like fresh cut flowers with a touch of sugar and a hint of bourbon. I looked her in the eyes before I spoke to her.

  “Ya know, that sounds like a hell of an idea.”

  She smiled at me and said, “It’s one-hundred no-touch and two-hundred for some feels.”

  “What do you mean feels?” I asked. She smiled at me and then reached down and took my right hand and lifted it to her chest. She took it and pushed it beneath her bikini top, rubbing my hand on her breast, I could feel her nipple; hard and ready. Her breast felt so good, unlike any that I had ever felt, so good that I damn near got lightheaded.

  “Let’s make it two hundred,” I said as she took my hand and led me to the back room.

  She was riding me like a pony.

  I was sitting on the leather sofa, and we were all alone in the VIP room. She was straddling me and her naked boobs were hitting me in the face; it was all I could do to not stick out my tongue and lick them. I wanted to, but I don’t really know how far my two-hundred dollars went. I certainly didn’t want to get thrown out. Not now. This was too amazing.

  Before she got on top of me she had done a little dance, taking off all of her clothes, not that there had been a lot of them. First, she took off her top and let her titties drop. They dropped maybe two inches at the most, but yet they still had bounce. I had been to plenty of strip clubs and had had my fair share of lap dances. I had certainly seen my fair share of fake tits. These looked real but impossible. And I guess it wasn’t impossible and they certainly weren’t real, considering I was in a game right now, and this was all a simulation.

  I know I keep beating this drum, but I just can’t get past the fact that all of this felt so real.

  After taking off her top she turned her back to me and grabbed the side of her bottoms, she pulled them down and bent over at the same time. This put her pussy right in my face. Talk about a peach. This thing was gorgeous, smooth as Egyptian cotton and less fuzz. It was perfect. Then she turned around and threw herself on top of me.

  She was gentle at first as she sat there and rubbed her pussy against my covered erection. She slightly ground against it and let out a nice little groan, seductive, not vulgar. She was good at her job!

  Then she started moving faster and faster against my cock, pressing down her lips so that it enveloped the groove my boner was causing in my pants. She could feel it, and she liked it. I still hadn't seen my new dick hard, so I didn’t know what it looked like or even how big it was, but she seemed to enjoy it. She pushed her chest into my face a rubbed her tits against it.

  She leaned back, still grinding. She grabbed my arms and then took my hands and put them on her tits. “Get your money’s worth,” she said, reminding me that I had paid extra for the ability to touch. Best hundred dollars of virtual money I ever spent. They were everything I hoped they would be. Supple and firm. More than a hand full and soft to the touch.

  It wasn’t just the firmness; it was the softness. Her skin was so soft, and her tits so firm, it felt like the world’s best memory foam pillow—with nipples.

  And those nipples were also amazing. Pink and hard, but not too hard, they were still soft and fleshy, I really wanted to suck on them, but I held back. I pulled on them, which garnered a groan. I know that she was putting on a show. It’s what she did for a living; this was all part of it. She made a man feel like he was the first to ever touch her like this. A good stripper had that ability, to make a man feel special even though she had already rubbed against twenty dicks that night, and fifty the night before. It’s the fantasy they are selling, and she had a good one to sell!

  Suddenly I was aware that I was getting incredibly turned on, too much so. I could feel my come starting to build up in these unfamiliar balls. I didn’t know how the mechanics of this part of the game worked, but I knew my own dick, and if this dick worked anything like it’s real-life counterpart, then that dick was about to explode.

  Almost as if she could sense this, she started to grind harder and harder, she was starting to squeal, as if she was having an orgasm. She was going to make me come, and she knew it. I felt it building, I took my hands and put them on her ass and gave them a good squeeze and pulled her into me tighter as I started to work myself. I started pushing my groin up into hers and she seemed to be enjoying it.

  She was nearing her climax, and I wasn’t far behind her. She rocked harder and harder and then she let out a massive gasp of air as she gave one final push against my cock. She grabbed her own tits and pulled them high as she appeared to be reaching her peak. She let out a loud groan and then went limp as she dropped her boobs and threw her head down on my shoulder and didn’t move a muscle.

  I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to move but I was really close to coming myself.

  Then the music stopped, and she moved her head to where her lips were facing my cheek. She kissed me on the side with her soft lips and whispered into my ear. “Thanks, Love. Come and see me again sometime.”

  And with that, she pulled herself off of me, reached down and pulled up her clothes and walked for the door.

  I reached out my hand and tried to
speak, but found the words lacking. Her perfect ass swung out the door, leaving me sitting on the couch with a massive erection, near orgasm. I just sat there for a moment, not wanting to move; I was afraid that if I did, I would cream my jeans. I didn’t want to have to change out the microfiber liner if I didn’t have too.

  I took a deep breath. Tried to slow my heart rate and then refocused on my goal. Strippers got you horny, but that’s all they did. I was here for something more.

  It was time to go find it.

  7

  In-Game Purchase

  As I may have mentioned, in games as well as in real life, there is a general all-purpose source for information. That source is the bartender.

  I walked back out into the bar and belly myself back up to it. I look around the room and see Sierra. She winks at me. I want to be mad at her, I really do. She left me pretty high and dry up there, both of those words could be used literally here, but it was hard to be angry. It’s hard to stay mad at somebody that hot.

  The bartender walked up to me on the other side of the bar. “Usual?” He asked as if I had been coming here for years as opposed to only being here for the last couple of songs.

  “Sure,” I said and then motioned for him to come a little closer. He obliged. “Do you know where I could get a little—company?”

  “What am I chopped liver?” He said. For a moment, I thought that he might actually be offended.

  “I mean, a little more…” and then I made a circle with my fingers and pushed another one through it. The universal symbol for getting laid. He laughed at me.

  “I know what you meant,” he said, egging me on. “But we’re not that kind of place.”

  I wrinkled my face, bummed. “No. No, of course not.”

  The bartender sat my drink down on the bar in front of me and the flash of ten dollars passed by my eyes without me having to do anything. He then turned around, and I shot my drink, wiped my face and then decided to head to the front of the establishment. Another fine-looking woman was on the stage, but I had had my fill of dick teases today.

 

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