by J C Carter
* * *
I've never been more glad for Ricky's living arrangements than I am at this moment. Because if anyone could hear the noises I'm making, I might actually be embarrassed. The way Ricky is working me over, God I swear I could die from the feeling of it.
He's licking at me roughly, his tongue making a path through my slit over and over before sucking my clit into his mouth. He's determined to make me come again before we go any further. I'm torn between pushing him away because it feels like too much and pulling him even closer because I need so much more.
I can hear him groan as he continues to lick at me, seeming to enjoy what he's doing to me almost as much as I am. He knows just what to do to drive me crazy and I urge him on with my words, knowing it fuels his fire. He fucks me so good and I want to make sure he knows it.
I'm so close to the edge, when Ricky suddenly stops and climbs up my body to hold my face in his hands. I have to hold back my yelp of displeasure and practically whine at him, "I was so close. Why did you stop?"
He smiles and has the nerve to chuckle as he says,"It's been too long, and I want to be inside you when you come. I want to feel you come hard on my cock."
And oh God I never thought I would like someone talking to me in that way. But I love when Ricky does it. He pushes into me slowly, rocking his hips as he goes. But I'm not interested in slow tonight, it's been too damn long. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him towards me. He instantly realizes what I'm trying to do and begins to go harder and harder.
I'm holding on for dear life as he pounds into me, my nails are surely leaving marks all down his back. But I think he's loving it, because everytime it happens he pushes even harder. Before I even realize what's happening I feel my orgasm building, though I know I'll need help to get there all the way.
So I reach down to start rubbing that sweet spot, while urging Ricky on with my words. He comes loudly, pushing into me one final time and I follow seconds later, choking on a sob.
After our heart rates have slowed and we've both cleaned ourselves up, I climb back into bed and turn to face Ricky. He gives me a smile and picks up my hand to place a kiss on the back of it before he says, "So, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. And you can totally say no."
"Ok, what is it?"
"How would you feel about me coming home with you for Thanksgiving? I hate to invite myself, but I don't really want to go home and I'd love to meet your family."
"Well, that's not at all what I was expecting," I say with a laugh. "And I actually think that would be kind of nice."
He stares at me in a little bit of shock and I have to laugh again. "I know, I know it's surprising, but I want us to move forward and I think this would be a really great first step. But I need to ask you something." He nods for me to go ahead.
"Why don't you want to go home? When we talked about our families you made yours sound pretty great."
He looks nervous and a little sheepish, but he steals his shoulders and says, "I lied. I just didn't want to get into our whole ugly history. The truth is that my parents split up a long time ago, my dad basically abandoned my mom and I for another woman. It pretty much destroyed my mom and she's never really been the same.
She's a drunk Tessa, a mean one. My dad left when I was 14 and never looked back. I basically raised myself from then on. My mom did get money from the divorce so I didn't have to worry about that. But things were still tough. I started playing football as a way to get out of the house and away from my mom. She was never physically mean. But her words were never kind ones."
"I'm so sorry Ricky, I had no idea. But thank you for confiding in me," I say as I kiss him gently on the lips. I'll check with my mom, but I'm sure she'd love to have you over. And this way I'll have someone to drive down with. Actually, you can drive, because I hate driving. It's two hours away, that's fine right?"
I'm babbling, because I'm actually excited about having Ricky come home with me.
He pulls me on top of him, kissing me soundly on the lips, "I'll drive you anywhere you want me to. As long as I'm around you'll never have to drive anywhere ever again."
"I think that's the sexiest thing you've ever said to me," I say in a sarcastic tone. Now let me show you again just how much I missed you."
And then we're tangled in the sheets, neither of us planning on sleeping much tonight.
Chapter 15
Of all the things I thought would be happening during my first year of college, bringing a new guy home for Thanksgiving was not one of them. But Ricky really wanted to meet my mom and my sister. Plus I can understand why he wouldn't want to take me to visit his mom.
I've definitely felt even closer to him since he told me the truth about his family. I know it wasn't an easy thing for him to share with me and I made sure he knew how much I appreciated it, all night long?
A week later and we're all set and ready for the visit. I called my mom the day after he asked me and as I predicted, she was thrilled. She grilled me with questions about Ricky, which I tried to answer without giving too many details about how we met. She always made me ask him about his food and beverage preferences so she could buy some things he liked.
It's now Wednesday evening, the day before Thanksgiving and Ricky and I are loading up the car to head out. Almost everyone else is gone by now, but my midterm ran long, so we're a bit behind. I don't live too far though, only two hours away. If we leave now, we'll get there around 8 P.M.
"Tessa, you know we'll only be there until Sunday right," Ricky asks as he loads my large suitcase into the trunk of his car.
"I'm aware. I always over pack though. Better to be over prepared than under prepared. And oh my freaking God I sound like my mother. She's always saying things like that."
He's laughing at my mortified expression as he says, "Well, she's not wrong. My grandma always told me to bring a sweater wherever I was going, because you never know when you might need it. I still do that," he shrugs.
We climb into the car and I notice a bag of snacks and drinks by my feet. He's gotten me all the things he knows I like and that just makes me smile. It's not that a guy has never done nice things for me before, but it has been awhile. It's nice to have someone else think of things like this.
I pass him his drink and he selects a snack, then we're on our way. Ricky lets me play my music the whole way there and I'm surprised by the amount of songs he knows. My musical tastes are all over the place. Disney, country, pop, old school rap, rock, a little bit of everything and there's only a few he doesn't know. By the time we get to my house, we’re laughing and smiling and just having a really great time. After all of the crap we’ve gone through, it feels really good.
As soon as we pull into the driveway, my mom pops her head out the front door and gives us a great big wave and I can't help but laugh. Ricky climbs out of the car and around to the trunk to garbage our bags while I go up to greet my mom.
"Hey mom, how are you?"
"I'm good honey. So excited you guys are here. And you must be Ricky," she says, leaning around me to shake his hand as he joins me in the doorway.
"It's nice to finally meet you Mrs. Martinez. Thank you so much for letting me crash your family Thanksgiving."
"Oh we're happy to have you honey. And please call me Celia. Let's get you two inside. Ally and I were just sitting down to watch a movie. We already had dinner, but we saved some leftovers if you're hungry."
"That's alright mom, we had a bunch of snacks on the drive. So we're good. I'm going to give Ricky a tour and then we'll come watch the movie with you guys."
Our house is a little townhouse on a quiet street. Mom moved us here after dad passed, because she wanted a place where she didn't have to do much maintenance. Our HOA takes care of the lawn and the snow in winter. It's nicely decorated, mom got a designer friend of hers to do that for us. Three bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, kitchen, living room, and down in the basement we have workout equipment.
I show Ricky
around and then we drop our stuff in my room. Luckily there's nothing too embarrassing for him to see.
"So, will I be sleeping in here with you? Or would your mom prefer I sleep on the couch?"
I have to laugh at his concerned expression. But I already spoke to my mom about this when I asked if he could join us.
"She's fine with you sleeping in here. She said she's under no illusions that we don't do that every night at school. Though she did ask that we not have sex. Said she'd never recover if she happened to hear us," I say, laughing a little at the memory of our conversation.
Ricky is laughing too and shaking his head in what I'm guessing is disbelief. "You're mom's pretty cool, you know that right?"
"Yeah, she's the best," I say, smiling softly. And I see his face fall.
"Do you miss your mom Ricky? I mean you must."
"It doesn't matter if I do or not. Things will never be with us like things are between you and your mom."
"Of course not. Everyone's relationship with their parents is different. But that doesn't mean you can't have one. Maybe you should try talking to her. I know that I don't fully know the situation. But maybe you guys can try to work on things."
He's shaking his head like he can't believe anything I'm saying, "I don't think so. There's just been so much damage done. Anyway can we not talk about this. We're only here for three days and I know you want to see your sister. So come on, let's go watch that movie."
I decide to let it slide for now and we head downstairs. I introduce Ricky to Ally and she's her usual goofy self, asking Ricky a million questions about his intentions for me. Of course he knows she's teasing and he pushes back, matching her joke for joke. It makes me so happy, because Jackson never really bothered to get to know her. Mom just watches with a smile on her face the entire time.
Thanksgiving day dawns bright and chilly. But it's a beautiful day regardless and we all spend the day cooking and chatting. Our Thanksgivings are always pretty relaxed, just the three of us, turkey, pumpkin pie, and lots of mashed potatoes. This year, mom's also made Jello salad, because Ricky told me it was his favorite.
We decide to have a Harry Potter marathon since we'll be here for a few days. We make it through the first two movies before Ally breaks out Harry Potter Scene It. It's a holiday tradition, it's also a tradition that I beat her no matter how hard she tries. The whole time mom plays referee and Ricky stares at me like I'm crazy, but he likes it. I told him how much I loved Harry Potter, but I don't think he realized just how much until tonight.
* * *
Friday just flies by. Of course when you're actually having a good time it always feels like time moves faster. We're leaving tomorrow afternoon, we both agreed we'd like to be back on campus Saturday night so that we could be settled and ready for classes on Monday. Things are about to become so much more stressful with finals to prepare for.
Mom and Ally are in the kitchen getting snacks while I put in our chosen movie for the evening and Ricky gets comfortable on the couch.
"What are we watching tonight?"
I turn around to give Ricky a smirk, "Dirty Dancing. Ever seen it?"
"Once. Gabby, Jesse's girlfriend made us all watch it one night. Apparently Jesse lost a bet. It was alright."
"Well, it's one of our favorites, so just pretend you love it," I say with a laugh.
I swear I forgot how sexy this movie was. I feel like it's not as noticeable when I'm watching with Ally and my mom. But sitting on the couch snuggled up to Ricky. Let's just say I wish we were alone in this house right now.
When we get up to bed, I can't help but jump Ricky. I know we shouldn't, but I want him so badly I honestly don't care who hears us. We're as quiet as we can be, his hand over my mouth to muffle my moans. And he rocks into me so slowly, so gently, so as not to make the bed creak.
But it also makes everything feel that much more intense, I can feel every inch of him as he works me towards completion. And this time feels different. Like there's so much we're both trying to say without actually saying the words.
Though one of us actually does say them. We're both sleepy and sated, wrapped in each other's arms and ready to drift off. I turn on my side, my back snug against Ricky's back. He's holding my hand as it rests against my stomach and when he brings his mouth to my ear, I wait for the whispered good night.
Instead he says those words, those words that would make anyone else feel like a million dollars. My blood turns to ice, and I swear I stop breathing for a moment when he whispers, "I love you."
The next morning I wake before he does and for a while I just lay there watching him sleep. I don't know what to do or say. I know he meant for me to hear him and I'm betting he knows I did, though he didn't comment on my lack of response last night. And I think maybe we can pretend it didn't happen, but when he wakes, I know we can't.
It's there in his eyes when he looks at me. I know he wants me to say it back, that he wants to give me time, but he's waiting. And that's when the panic really sets in.
I try to act normal, assure him that I'm fine when he asks. But I know he can tell I'm freaked. Mom and Ally know something's up, but they won't ask in front of Ricky. I just keep pretending everything is fine. It's not fine. I want to scream, I want to run. I want to go back and beg Ricky to take it back. Because this wasn't supposed to be about love. I didn't want this to be love.
Eventually we say our goodbyes and start the drive back to campus. Ricky tries to talk, but I keep insisting I'm fine and eventually he backs off. It's the most tension filled and awkward two hours of my life. I just want out of this car, away from this situation.
When we get back to my dorm, I rush through the goodbye. I thank him for driving, for spending the holiday with us, for the snacks on the drive there. Anything to soften this blow. He doesn't push, doesn't get angry, just let's me push him away. I don't blame him for not fighting me on this, he knows it's pointless. And when I give him my cheek to kiss instead of my lips, he lets out a heavy sigh and says, "I know you're scared Tessa. But I'm not giving up on us. I'll be here when you're ready."
I don't say anything, just walk away and don't look back. I go straight to my room and finally let myself break down, screaming and crying into my pillow. That's how Bronte finds me hours later, and when she pulls me into a hug asking what happened, I cry even harder. And it feels like maybe I'll never stop.
Chapter 16
He's calling again. I don't even have to look at the screen to know that it's him. He's called dozens of times since we got back last week.
There have also been texts, e-mails, and I know he's even asked Bronte about me.
I don't blame him. I basically ghosted him. We didn't speak much that last day at my mom's house and I know he could tell I was pulling away. And then when we landed back here, he drove me home and I haven't seen him since. Apparently I can avoid people with the best of 'em.
He wants to know why I'm running away, why it's so terrible to be loved by him. But that's the thing, it's not. I know he loves me and I know this could be it, my forever. And that's why I ran. I figure if I get out now, he won't be able to eventually hurt me.
I'm not an idiot, I know relationships sometimes work out and that saying I love you is a good thing. But for me, it's about trust. I trust my mom and I trust my sister, because they have always been there. It's always been difficult for me to let anyone else in.
I'm not entirely sure why. My dad passed when I was very young and while I do miss not having a dad, I've never felt unloved. Maybe it's that my mother has never really let anyone else in. She's dated, but never seriously. Whatever the reason, I know I need to work past it if I ever want anything real. But Ricky just blindsided me.
I'm sure that's why I was with Jackson, he never cared if I gave him more and I was alright with that. Ricky won't let go though. And I think I love him even more for that, because I do love him. I just don't know how to act on that.
I'm currently sitting in a deserted area
of the library, I've been here for hours. It's really a great place to avoid people. The girls want to talk it all through with me, but I'm not ready. My mom and my sister know something is up, but they're waiting until I come to them. So for now, avoidance is working.
Of course now would be the time I run into Jackson.
"Well well well, look who it is." It's like he came out of nowhere, one minute I'm alone and the next he's standing in front of me wearing what used to be my favorite smile. Now it just looks smug.
"Hey Jax. What can I do for you?"
"Oh, nothing much. But I heard you're with Ricky Watson now. Maybe you could introduce me sometime?"
I scoff, because somehow I'm not surprised that after what he did to me, he only wants to use me to gain some kind of advantage. It's classic Jackson, only ever interested in something or someone if it benefits him. How did I never notice it before?
"Sorry, I don't think that's going to be possible. We're not really seeing each other anymore."
"That didn't last long, did it," he says letting out a loud laugh. It grates on my nerves.
"That's not really any of your business. Seriously Jackson, what do you want? I'm busy."
He sighs dramatically, like I'm tiring him out or something. "Same old Tessa, shutting down when things get tough. You know you can blame me for what happened between us, but that was on you too. You never really let me in."
And with that, he walks away leaving me in stunned silence, his words rolling around in my head for the rest of the day.
* * *
Another week goes by, and the things Jackson said to me are still so heavy on my mind. On top of that, Ricky still won't let things go. He's not contacting me as much, but he's made it clear that he'll keep waiting.