I look at Ben, unsure if I registered his words incorrectly, but by his scrunched up face ready to pound on me, I know he is being truthful.
Shit!
“I didn’t know,” I shake my head. Everything inside me is fighting the against the embarrassment, the humiliation, the shame I may have brought upon myself, upon Ree.
I look to Dirk, whose face is upside down. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“She asked us not to. With everything that Diamond had mentioned—”
“That was a lie!” I interject.
“I know... now!” Dirk snaps back. “But Rerun begged us not to tell you. She didn’t want to give up the baby. She was afraid you’d convince her, force her to let it go.”
“Jesus, Dirk. I thought you were my best friend.”
His eyes water. “I am... sorta. You know I’ve always loved you, Taylor, which is why I chose not to tell you. I couldn’t let her give up pieces of you either.”
Fuck.
I push Dirk out of the way and find my extra keys, noticing all my other stuff has been placed here as well. At least, I could count on Dirk for that. I grab my phone.
“What are you going to do?” Dirk asks.
“I’m going to her place. What do you think?”
“You can’t do that,” Dirk replies.
“Yes, he can.” Ben nods. “Let him go. Let him see what he’s done.”
I pause, observing them both. They’re each standing with their hands on their hips staring at me. I get the feeling there’s something more they’re hiding.
I can’t believe Dirk betrayed me for months, but I can’t blame him. Perhaps Ben is his match. As much as I’d like to punch Ben for underestimating me, I guess I should be thankful Ree has a best friend who did everything he thought possible to protect her.
Juggling my keys in my hand, I turn around to leave.
I make my way to the parking lot across the street. Once more, I feel supercharged. I just pray my car will start up this time since she’s been sitting undisturbed since I left her here four and a half months ago.
Once I pop the key into the ignition, I crank her up and thank goodness! She roars.
I speed through the city. It’s only a few blocks before I make it to Ree’s building. Cussing, I circle the area to find street parking.
When I’m finally able to squeeze myself into a spot, I find that I’m hustling...
Okay, I’m running...
No, more like sprinting as fast as I can, bypassing the elevator, and up the stairwell to Ree’s apartment. My heart sinks when I hear Latin music and several people speaking in Spanish from beyond the door.
I knock.
“Hola,” sings a young woman, who’s huge smile turns into an “O” as big as her eyes, which have widened so much I’m afraid her eyeballs are about to pop out of their sockets. “Oh, my Lord! Taylor Rose!” she screams.
Several people, children, one... two... three, come to the door to look at the spectacle—me—in the doorway. Their mother, I presume since they all look like her, won’t stop screaming in Spanish, which I can’t understand.
She disappears, leaving her rugrats to ogle me in the doorway.
“Hi,” I tell them. “Do any of you speak English?”
They each just grin and I feel a pain in my chest. It’s not just from the fact that we can’t communicate, but the realization that this is Rerun’s apartment, although it’s clear she doesn’t live here anymore. I feel ill seeing she’s left her pink refrigerator behind.
When the mother returns, she’s got her phone and naturally, I find I’m caught in a series of selfies. As we pose and she snaps, I try to inquire about Rerun. But unfortunately, “No Ingles” is all I get followed by “Eres una persona muy especial, y estoy enamorada de ti.” I get a few hugs and, eventually, the door comes to a close, separating me from the only place I ever felt was home.
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my phone and dial Dirk.
He doesn’t answer.
I call again.
Again, he doesn’t answer.
So, I call again and again.
That fucker! I’m sure it’s Ben trying to teach me a lesson. Noticing the time, I make my way out of the building, back to my car, and head towards the dance studio where I leave my car in the parking garage.
Shooting across the street, I land on the curb where I wait. It’s a long shot, but I figure it’s worth a chance.
It feels like an eternity I have been standing idly on the street, and my heart skips a beat when I finally see the bus I need to take. “Seventh Street” flashes as the bus brakes to a halt.
I feel dizzy with excitement. I let the other passengers board first as I spy through the windows to see if maybe, just maybe, Ree is in her regular seat, but I can’t make her out. Once onboard, my eyes skim through the passengers.
She’s not here.
I debate turning around and getting off but the bus starts rolling. Damn, I have no idea where else I’m supposed to look! Seeing her seat is empty, I sit.
As the Vander Rose Conservatory of Dance slips out of view, I begin to wonder what Rerun must’ve thought about whenever she passed the school. For a year, she worked for me. She even went as far to reunite me with photos of my mother. So, I can’t understand, why didn’t she ever come inside and say hello?
Likely because I was on a pedestal, where I put myself beyond anyone’s reach.
Looking ahead, I can’t see anything. The butt of the bus in front is blocking our view. I begin to wonder where the bus I’m on will go once it hits Seventh Street. Does it stop and turn around? Does it take a different path? Or does it simply keep going?
I’ll sit for as long as I need to, searching.
Settling back, allowing my ass to sink low, I ponder. I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do to find her other than look out the window. As I lean my skull against the back of the headrest, I see a pair of eyes staring at me.
“What’s up, buddy?” I ask the kid, who I recall from the first time I took this route and met Ree.
“Hi,” he says and ducks his head down, so all I see of his face is his deep brown eyes.
“Hey, bud,” I lean forward. “Do you remember the girl with red hair who used to ride this bus?”
He pops his head up. “Yeah,” he says and ducks his head back down so all I see are his eyes again.
His mother swivels her head to peep over her shoulder and scowl at me.
“Have you by chance seen that girl around?” I ask him.
Quickly, he pops his head back up. “Nope,” he says and ducks again.
With that one little word, I lean back. I feel defeated, but the fighter in me still doesn’t want to give up. My mind starts racing, thinking of all the possibilities in which I could track Rerun down.
I’ll have to stalk Ben. That’s really my best option. I’ll either have to follow him around or hire a private detective to do it. Although that could take long. So, maybe...
Nah. I’ll just seduce my best friend into telling me. He did lie to me. It’s only fair that I get him back, except it’s likely even if I did lead him on (which I have no idea how to do that... kiss him? Would I have to kiss him?), he’ll probably like it too much, so I wouldn’t really be getting back at him. Not to mention, I have to consider he was able to resist me—lying and keeping the truth from me for four months. Who knows how long it’ll take for him to spill the beans on Ree.
I count with my fingers and the most amazing feeling floats within. By my calculations, Ree is going to give birth in just four months. Or less! It’s possible she conceived the first night we made love together. A tear escapes my eye. I have four months to find her. I want to be there for both her and the baby.
Bowing my heavy head, I plant my eyes into the heels of my hands to keep the dams from overflowing.
“Why are you crying?” asks the kid in front of me.
Wiping the wetness away, I muster a grin. “Ah, don’t worry
about it, buddy,” I swallow the salt collecting at the back of my throat.
“You’re too big to cry.”
My belly rolls as I laugh. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I am way too big to be crying.”
“You must hurt really bad.”
My laugh turns into a choking sensation. My face clenches as I try to contain the pain. It does hurt. This hurts really bad.
“Rerun never cries. Rerun hurts all the time. But she never cries,” he says.
“Ay, son!” interjects his mother. “Don’t talk about other people’s problems. That’s very rude.”
“No, no,” I say. “He’s right. See...” I’m choking trying to finish. “I lost her. Rerun and I—we became very good friends but I wasn’t a good friend back. My ego got in the way and I didn’t listen to her when I should’ve. I certainly didn’t respect the things she said, so I lost her and now I’m paying the price. And like you said, kid,” I look him in the eyes, “it hurts. Take it from me, you need to listen to your mother. Always listen to the people you love.”
The mother makes eyes contact with me before she looks me over.
She knows something!
“Ma’am, do you by chance—”
“Rerun doesn’t ride this bus anymore,” she says. “I think she moved or got a new job. She rides that bus now. I see her exiting off occasionally.” She points to the bus in front of us.
Yes!
Immediately, I get out of my seat and dart towards the head of the bus. “Excuse me—”
“Move back, sir,” says the driver. “Please move behind the yellow line.”
I look down at my feet. The tips of Dirk’s Nikes are barely an inch past the edge of the faded line. I shuffle my feet back anyway. “Ma’am—”
A loud screech wails as the driver presses on the brakes and I stumble to keep my footing. I notice the brake lights of the bus ahead of us have lit up and beyond that, I see red hair!
It’s her!
“Rerun!” I yell.
“Hey!” snaps the driver. “Quiet down.”
Holy shit, I was loud. There’s so much adrenaline pumping through me right now, I feel like I’m about to explode. I need to get the hell out of here!
“Can you open the doors?” I ask.
“Sorry, not yet. You need to wait until I pull up to the curb.”
I see Rerun already getting lost in the crowd. Even with her cane, she moves quickly.
“You can just let me out here,” I beg.
“Not yet,” says the driver. “Mister, you need to sit down. You’re getting on my nerves.”
“Listen, I need to get out right now. I have to catch up with someone. Please, she’s getting away.”
“Sir, if you don’t sit down, I’m going to call the police and you will get arrested. There are laws that protect the people of this city, including laws that particularly apply to what occurs inside this vehicle. Now, if you don’t—”
“I’m sitting. I’m sitting,” I say, as I plant my butt in the empty seat, which happens to be right behind the driver.
I’ve already caused the driver to stall. The bus in front has already pulled away.
I don’t know why but seconds feel like hours, and the moment the bus pulls along the curb and the doors open, I dart through the doors and onto the sidewalk, knocking shoulders with a few pedestrians.
Spinning my head, I search, moving my feet towards the same direction I thought I saw Ree go.
There are people everywhere. This side of the city feels even more compact than my side even though the buildings are shorter.
I think I see Ree—her hair color at least. She’s nearly at the end of the block but I’m not exactly sure it’s her. Seeing a newspaper stand and a light post, I scale one and then the other. When I’m high enough, I recognize it is her and damn it! She’s crossing the street.
I spin my head around to see the traffic beneath me. A police officer on a bicycle cycling closer makes eye contact with me and we immediately come to an understanding. I’m about to cross where I’m not allowed and he’s about to chase me. I’ve figured the swiftest way from here to Ree is to leap across the tops of these cars.
Biker cop senses my intentions and I hear an onlooker snap a pic, but…
I take the leap anyway.
Immediately, he blows his whistle.
And the chase is on!
I’m sure if I get caught I’m going to get arrested, so I bend and spring upward with more height and speed than I’ve ever performed before. From one hood to the next, from the tops of vehicles and into truck beds, I leap!
Whoops! A dent…
Yikes! And another…
“Ah, shit!” I curse, realizing I just ripped my jeans at my ass.
No, time to worry about that now!
Catapulting myself repeatedly, I continue to move until I’m across the street at the corner where I last saw Ree.
I notice a fiery glow of red tendrils lit by the sun and I see Ree make her way past a human-sized carving of a Chinese Dragon.
She’s headed into Chinatown.
From behind me, I hear the police officer shouting with another blow on his whistle. My pulse quickens and I wipe my brow. Unsure of where to turn, I notice an open door to an Asian store.
Incense, the scent of sandalwood mixed with a calming sweet aroma of dried flowers—roses and lilies, I’m sure—fills my nose, which calms me allowing me to focus. Sneaking behind a beaded curtain among piles of Chinese collectibles stacked taller than me, I watch the officer roll past the shop. Quickly, I follow behind him and I get a glimpse of Rerun up ahead. She turns down an alley and I find I am cursing under my breath waiting for the officer to pedal faster.
When the coast is clear, I hustle to the alleyway. Rounding the corner, my heart, already pounding with what feels like fists inside my chest, beats harder when I see Ree stopped in front of a graffitied wooden door.
She’s fumbling with her hands in her pockets, searching for her keys. Cautiously, I make my approach. I notice this place is not exactly somewhere I’d expect to find her. I can only assume this is where she lives.
I’m sick with myself. The alley smells like piss. A huge dumpster sits not more than several feet from her door. I’m confident the only reason Ree lives here is because I fired her and this is all she could afford.
The jingling sound of keys comes alive but it quickly stops.
She senses someone approaching.
Swiveling her head slowly, her eyes move from the door to me and our eyes lock.
“No,” she says sternly.
My shoulders slouch. “Rerun, I just want to talk.”
She looks down at her stomach. I feel a flutter within. Her belly is only slightly bulging, but it’s round, nonetheless.
Hastily, she puts the key into the keyhole. “Go away, Taylor. If you don’t leave, I’m calling the police.”
I pick up my feet, caging in on her. “You’re carrying my baby and I haven’t done anything to you. You can’t call the police.”
She manages to open the door and slip through the entryway. “This is not your baby. This is someone else’s baby,” she lies, which infuriates me.
I skip faster. “Who’s baby? Ben’s?” I yell as she shuts the door on my face. Fuck! She locks it before I can get to the handle. “Goddamnit, Ree!” I pound on the door. “We both know that’s not Ben’s baby. He only fucks men and you’ve only fucked me. You had no right to keep this a secret from me. Now open this fucking door.”
“I can’t,” she cries as a whistle blows from around the corner.
Ah fuck, that cop! Is he ever going to give up?
“Let me in, Ree. You have to let me in right now and let me talk to you about our kid or I swear to God I’m going straight to a lawyer because I have rights and I will do everything in my power to exercise my right to see my kid. The fact that you won’t open this door says that baby is the only real family I have. You should know, Ree, I don’t give up on my family.
I won’t stop to take what’s rightfully mine. Is that what you want Ree? Don’t think I won’t fight you. I’ll fight to the ends of this earth to take custody my baby.”
I hear her tinker with the handle and the door comes slightly ajar. “No, Taylor,” she mutters. Tears are streaming down her red-hot face. Her pale blue eyes beg, as her lip quivers. “Please don’t take my baby from me. Please, Taylor. Don’t take her.”
Every muscle in my body wants to wrap itself around Rerun, pick her up, and squeeze her. But I digress. Reaching with a gentle hand, I maintain my posture, keeping my composure as I hear the whistle blowing, getting closer from beyond the building’s edge.
Moving a few loose tendrils of her hair free from her face, Rerun allows my hands to fall on her shoulders. Closing the space between us, I nudge her back, guiding her to reverse into her home. I speak softly but assuredly. “I swear, I would never do that, Ree. I would never take our baby from you.”
She is beside herself. She’s crying so hard, her arms flail. “But you just said that—”
“I would’ve said anything,” I interrupt, “to get you to open your door.”
As the officer’s whistle blows past down the street, I manage to maintain eye contact with Rerun, closing the door behind us.
“So, you’re not going to go to a lawyer about the baby?” she asks with enormous watering eyes.
“No.”
“And you’re not going to try to make me get rid of her?” Her body is trembling as I manage to pull her cane free from her hand and wrap my arm around her back to support her.
I dip my head to speak directly in her ear. “No.”
“Swear it,” she demands with a measly punch against my shoulder. “Swear you are not here to hurt me or the baby or to take our baby from me.”
“Ah, Ree,” I exhale, wrapping my hand around the back of her head and pulling her into my chest. “I swear, I’m only here for one thing.”
I feel her gulp down her tears as I wrap both my arms around her. “What thing?” she asks.
“My family.” I kiss the crown of her head. “I love you. I’m here for you and the baby and to love and protect you both.”
“That’s two things,” she says, finally melting into me and I squeeze. Gently.
The Kisser Page 19