by Naomi Martin
But I put on a smile and do my best to banish the dark thoughts from my head. This little spectacle may not amount to anything but if nothing else, at least it’s helped to reignite my passion—something that has been sorely lacking in me for a while.
Chapter Nine
“Okay, so I’ll see you at break?”
I nod. “Yeah, where are we meeting again?”
“Meet me at the coffee cart out in the quad.”
“We have a coffee cart?”
She laughs. “Sapphire Bay is pretty swanky that way.”
“Apparently.”
The ten-minute warning bell sounds, the loud peal echoing through the corridor. Katie turns and melts into the crowd, leaving me standing there in a flood of bodies. Hugging the wall on the right, I make my way through the throng. The buzz of conversation is louder than the bell and the crush of students is thick. For such a small town, the corridors of this school are teeming with people.
Following the directions Katie provided, I round a corner, heading for my English class. As I do, though, I run into Renee and her friends. They look at me the way a predator looks at its prey. Renee’s eyes narrow and she glares pure venom at me.
“Well, look who it is—the new girl,” she spits.
Rolling my eyes, I start to walk around her but she steps in my way, blocking my path. I frown and glare back at her.
“Get out of my way, Renee.”
“Make me.”
I laugh softly and square my shoulders like I was taught to do in self-defense class, my posture relaxed but ready. Outwardly, I try to project an air of cool confidence and an ability to handle myself. Inside, my stomach is churning wildly and I have to consciously stop myself from trembling.
Truthfully, I’ve never been in an all-out fight before. I’ve taken classes up the wazoo, but I’ve never actually had to use what I’ve learned in any practical sense. Slapping the blonde in the bookstore was really as close as I’ve gotten to being in a fight—and that was pretty much just reacting on instinct.
Oh, I play and posture as the tough girl who can take care of herself. That’s what ninety-nine percent of fighting is—projecting and posturing. If you make the other person believe you’re about to beat their ass, most of the time they’ll back down. It’s psychological warfare.
But that tactic usually doesn’t work on somebody like Renee—a girl who believes people owe her their deference. She’s the kind of girl who thinks people should be required to lay down and form a human bridge, so she doesn’t get her seven-hundred-dollar shoes muddy. And for the most part, people around here give her that deference. At least, from what I’ve seen. Nobody has ever done anything to dissuade her from her belief that she is, indeed, better than everybody here.
I really hate bullies. Like, with a white-hot passion. And because of that, I’m determined to show no weakness in front of her or let her intimidate me the way she intimidates everybody else around here—including her two bleach-blonde lieutenants.
“Do you really want me to embarrass you in front of all your friends? On the first day of school?” I ask her.
Renee cuts a glance at her friends, doing her best to look tough and icy, but she can’t hide it from me. That uncertainty—I see it in her eyes. She masks it well, but it’s there all the same. She’s not used to somebody not bowing and scraping before her. And she can’t afford to look weak. Power—real or perceived—is the coin of the high school realm. Right now, she has all the power. She holds all the coins. But if I show her up here in the crowded hallway, with so many eyes on us, I strip her of some of that power and weaken her. She knows it and I know it.
High school can be a really fucking stupid place.
Renee rolls her eyes, doing her best to save face. “Whatever,” she says. “But you’d better watch your back, bitch.”
“Yeah, watch your back, new girl. You’re on really thin ice here—bitch,” Lacey adds.
She quickly looks to Renee for approval and when the Queen Bee gives her a smile, the blonde flushes like she’s just been blessed by God himself.
“Let’s go, girls.”
Renee and her friends push their way by me and as she passes, Renee reaches out and knocks my books out of my hand. I notice her hand too late to stop it from happening and end up standing there with my books in a pile at my feet, staring at my own empty hands like a moron. Wonderful.
Renee and the Barbie twins laugh as they proceed down the hallway. The other kids look at her as she passes with eyes full of adoration, like they’re witnessing passing royalty or something. The crowd parts for them like Renee is Moses crossing the Red Sea. The deference the other students pay to this girl is unbelievable.
I can hear the snickers and whispers bounding through the corridor around me. By knocking my books out of my hand, apparently Renee managed to hold her position at the top of the school hierarchy. Obviously, standing up to her and making her back down doesn’t earn you much in the way of credibility around here. The other students look at me as if I’m some detestable thing—made all the worse by Renee showing me up. God, I love being the new girl. I’m having a really wonderful time and make a mental note to thank my father for this when I get home.
With a sigh, I kneel down to collect my books and suddenly, Ryan is there beside me, helping me gather my things. He gives me a sympathetic look and a small smile.
“Sorry I didn’t get here in time to stop that,” he says.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” I reply. “You aren’t my designated protector.”
He shrugs. “Maybe I should be.”
“I don’t need anybody protecting me,” I snap. “I can take care of myself.”
Ryan recoils like I just slapped him. He looks down, a small frown pulling at the corners of his mouth as he grabs my last book and hands it to me. I take it from him and stack all my things together in a neat pile and stand up. He gets to his feet alongside me and stands there, looking like a puppy I’ve scolded for piddling on the floor, and I suddenly feel bad.
I give him a soft smile. “I’m sorry. I just hate bitches like that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
His grin is slow. “That’s okay. I should have known better. Most people are a bit uptight and pissed off after dealing with Renee.”
I scoff. “Most people look like they worship the ground she walks on,” I say. “I mean, seriously—they look like cult members. I’m half convinced if Renee told them to drink poisoned Kool-Aid, they would.”
Ryan shrugs. “Yeah, it’s pretty sickening to see. But when Renee isn’t around, they talk mad shit about her. It’s not that they like her, it’s just that they’re afraid of her.”
“Wow. Real profiles in courage around here.”
He laughs. “Most of them are afraid of the social stigma they’ll incur if they displease her Highness. Being blackballed from social events and being considered an outcast is a very real thing in high school,” he tells me. “Or did you not come from a regular high school? Maybe you went to one where everybody was equal and on the same footing in all things? A place where nobody was ever bullied, everything was sunshine and roses, and your school mascot was a unicorn? Like, a real, live unicorn?”
I laugh and hold up my hand in a mock surrender. “Okay, okay, enough. Point taken,” I say. “High school is tough all over.”
“That it is.”
I cock my head and look at him. “But you’re not afraid of incurring the wrath of Renee. You seem to go out of your way to be disrespectful to her.”
“Well, I don’t know that I go out of my way to do it. But if an opportunity falls into my lap, I won’t pass it up.” He laughs.
“Is that because you’re the male half of that equation?” I ask. “Are you and your buddies the mean guys to Renee’s mean girls on campus?”
“No,” he replies. “I just don’t care about most of this stupid high school shit. I’m focusing on bigger stuff, so I tend to do my own thing.”
“Right—the sportsball thing,” I say. “Going pro in the minors and all.”
He chuckles. “Right. Something like that.”
Glancing at my phone, I see that we only have a few minutes left to get to class. The last thing I want is to be late on the first day.
“Relax. You’re the new girl on campus,” he says as if reading my mind. “You’ve got a built-in excuse for being late—you don’t know your way around yet.”
I laugh. “And what is your excuse?”
He flashes me that cocky grin again. “Me? I don’t need one.”
“Oh, you’ve got it like that, do you?”
“Damn straight.” He laughs. “There are some perks to being a star athlete at this school. Might as well take advantage of them, right?”
“If you got ‘em, smoke ‘em, huh?”
“Exactly.”
We laugh together as I turn and walk down the hall to my class. Ryan walks beside me, and I can feel the curious stares of the other kids in the hallway. I cut a glance around and although they’re being discreet, I can tell they’re watching us, wondering no doubt why one of the popular boys like Ryan is walking with the new girl in school—a girl who was just put in her place by Renee.
I check the room numbers against my schedule and stop before an open door. I turn to him and smile. “This is me.”
“Well, have a good time.”
“I guess I’ll see you around?”
He favors me with that heart-melting smile of his. “Count on it.”
I watch as Ryan walks off down the hallway, feeling my heart suddenly start to beat again. People are passing by, giving me curious stares, probably wondering why Sapphire Bay royalty like him is allowing himself to be seen with an outcast like me. Although I’m sure some of them think he’s just trying to bang the new girl.
Despite being uncomfortable as the object of so much scrutiny, a smile touches my lips as I recall the way his lips felt against mine. A warmth that starts in my chest finds its way down lower as I remember the way his tongue felt in my mouth and the desire that radiated from him like heat from a stove. God, I wanted him right then and there. But I’m trying to make better life decisions.
By the time I’m in my seat, waiting for class to begin, I am uncomfortably wet.
Chapter Ten
School’s been in session for a week now and I think I’m finally able to locate all of my classes without a map. Navigating the school’s social scene, though, is another matter altogether. I hang out with Katie and will occasionally see Ryan and Xavier—a fact that hasn’t been lost on Katie—but other than that, I have no friends. People aren’t exactly lining up to meet me. To be fair, though, I guess I haven’t gone out of my way to introduce myself to them either.
I know by nature high school is awkward and kids my age are shy and all, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve been deliberately blacklisted. It almost feels like people are going out of their way to avoid me, to not talk to me—hell, most people won’t even make eye contact with me. For the most part, I’ve been treated like a non-entity. Like I’m nothing and nobody. Like I’m not even there.
And I know who I have to thank for that. Because of her, I am apparently radioactive.
“I’m telling you, Renee has totally blackballed me at this school,” I say.
Katie grins. “She did. And I have to say, that’s got to be a record.”
“Great, call Guinness,” I reply. “Fastest blackballing in school history.”
“I’m not sure that’s an actual category.”
“Probably should be.”
We share a laugh and I look out at the field, at the girls stretching and warming up, doing my best to quell the churning in my stomach.
“And you think this is the best way to handle it?”
I laugh. “Probably not, but I don’t have any other ideas. I’m open to suggestions if you’ve got any.”
“For making friends? Just be yourself.”
“Yeah, that’s not working so well,” I point out. “But more than that, I need to find a way to show everybody that I’m not afraid of her. To stand up to her.”
“And this is your solution? This is how you’re going to accomplish that?”
“Like I said, I don’t have any other ideas. Besides, I like the physical activity and if nothing else, at least this will get me out of that abysmal PE class.”
Katie laughs. “What in the hell do you know about field hockey?”
“I’ve watched a hockey game or two with my dad.”
“Totally different sport.”
“Not really. I mean, they both use sticks. And have a kind of puck thingy.” I laugh, knowing how ridiculous it sounds. “Helmets, and—”
“Yeah, this is going to be a disaster. An epic disaster,” she interjects, beaming. “I cannot wait to watch this.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Just consider me your cheering section,” she says.
“Right—and your laughter is what, moral support?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
I roll my eyes. “Gee, thanks.”
Out on the field, a whistle blows and the girls gather around a tall woman with dark hair and mirrored sunglasses.
I give Katie a smile. “Better go. Gotta go do the whole rah-rah team thing.”
“Good sportsballing.”
I grab my stick and helmet and jog across the field toward the group gathered in the middle of the field. When I told my dad I was thinking of trying out for the school’s field hockey team, he’d been ecstatic about it. He said he thought it would be good for me and would help me make some new friends. That night, he’d taken me out and bought me all of the top-of-the-line equipment and after that, I kind of felt obligated. I felt like I couldn’t tell my dad that one of the biggest reasons for me trying out for the team in the first place was that I wanted to show up a girl who’d been a total bitch to me.
Of course, standing here on the field makes me question how in the hell I ever thought I’d get one over on her in the first place. This is her territory, not mine. As I approach the group, I suddenly feel like an idiot. Renee looks over at me and quickly whispers something to a dark-haired Hispanic girl standing next to her. They both turn back and stare at me for a moment then burst into laughter.
“Settle down, ladies,” the tall woman with the whistle says. “And take a knee.”
Everybody drops to a knee and I follow suit as Renee takes a position standing next to the woman with the whistle who I take to be the coach. Her message is clear—Renee views herself to be on the same level with the woman.
“Welcome to open tryouts, ladies. I am Coach Kettering. You can all call me Coach K,” she announces. “And this year, I’m pleased to announce that Renee Shapiro is team captain.”
There’s a light round of applause and Renee soaks it in, beaming as if she were getting a standing O at the Met or something. I look at the girls in the crowd and see they’ve naturally segregated themselves into two groups. Half with Renee—obviously the team veterans—and the other half are hopefuls like me.
Most of the girls on my side are athletic; some of them probably play other sports. They look capable. I’m pretty athletic myself, but I’m certainly not an athlete. I haven’t played other team sports before and Katie was right, I don’t know the first thing about field hockey. But I’m in pretty good shape and learn quickly. I’ve got speed, quickness, and elusiveness—traits I’ll need to lean on.
Coach K holds her hands up to quiet the rest of the girls down. “Now, we’ve got three open spots for new players this year. And it looks like we’ve got twelve girls trying out for those three spots. Which means, if you can do math, nine of you aren’t going to make this year’s squad.”
As far as being a motivational and encouraging speaker, Coach K kinda sucks. Three spots and twelve girls. Which means my odds are even worse than I thought. Coach K walks us through some of the rules, positions, and basics of the game. It’
s boring as hell and makes me once again question why I’m out here on this field. But when I catch Renee glaring at me, I realize that the desire to hit her is part of what’s fueling me. If field hockey is anything like ice hockey, I’m looking forward to putting a big body check on her.
“Okay, girls, I want to see what you’ve got so I’m going to run you through some drills,” the coach says. “Veterans, far end of the field. Renee will run you through your drills. Newbies, on me.”
We follow Coach K to the other end of the field, but not before Renee gives me the finger and says something to her crony that makes the girl burst into laughter. They walk away, Renee leading the girls to the far end of the field. I follow Coach K and the rest of the hopefuls to the other end, where she puts us through a few catching and positioning drills of our own. It’s a bit rough to start but I feel like I catch on pretty quickly.
It’s not long before she has us jogging up and down the field in pairs, running passing drills. Granted, it’s basic stuff, but I feel like I’m really getting the hang of it. We get to midfield and turn around, heading back the other way.
I’ve just caught the ball and flicked it back to my partner when something hits me violently from behind and I’m driven to the ground. My stick flies out of my hands, hitting the ground about five feet away as the breath is driven from my lungs.
I stay there on my hands and knees for a moment, trying to catch my breath, then let out a screeching wail as I’m slapped straight across the ass with something hard and thin—like a field hockey stick. I look over my shoulder and see Renee standing there, a wide grin on her face. The girls standing behind her are laughing.
“You should really learn to keep your head on a swivel out here,” Renee crows. “That’s a free lesson for you.”
My ass feels like it’s on fire where she hit me with her stick and I’m doing my best to hide the pain. Gritting my teeth, I start to get to my feet but Renee plants her foot on my ass and pushes me down again. My face hits what has to be the only mud puddle on the entire field, which makes the group of them howl with laughter. I remain on the ground, glad that the mud hides the fact that my cheeks are burning red.