by Renee Rose
Rafe’s body goes still. And all my hopes are destroyed as he pulls away. I flip onto all fours, and I bare my teeth in Lance’s direction, but he ignores me. He’s figured it out.
Rafe shifts and stands as a man. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Lance gestures to me. “He wants the bite. He’s trying to get you to kill him. Whenever he had you in a hold, he didn’t kill you. He kept going until you had him pinned. He’s not out of control. He planned this.”
“Is this true? Suicide by Alpha?” Rafe crouches to look me in the eye. I duck my head. “If that’s true, then you are in control, more than you think.” He grips the scruff of my neck and hauls my head up again. I show him my fangs, but I don’t mean it. Fight’s over.
“Change,” Rafe orders, and my spine bows backwards as the wolf releases my body.
Rafe backs away, giving me space. In man form, I’m still bleeding, but my wounds are healing.
“Bastard,” I mutter, but I take my alpha’s hand when he offers to help me up. He grips my shoulder, and I wince. My skin is still sensitive from the shift.
“This changes everything,” Rafe says.
“No,” I growl, but inside my heart, my wolf raises his head, wanting so desperately to believe.
Sadie
It’s my father’s phone call that changes everything. It’s Wednesday, a school night, and I’m pacing in my living room. I cancelled our girl’s night. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t think. I had a few days with Deke, a few days of heaven, and now I’m left with nothing. My ovaries are in bed, eating bon bons and moping. My heart is a cracked and bleeding mess.
My phone buzzes. I snatch it up and answer on autopilot.
“Sadie,” my father’s nasal voice drones. “Finally. I’ve been wondering if you were still alive.”
The sarcasm barely registers. “Yeah.”
“That last voicemail was something else.” He pauses, and I don’t say anything. If he’s waiting for me to apologize, he will have to wait the rest of his life.
My father clears his throat. “Now that I have you on the phone, I want to talk to you about Scott. I think—”
Oh my God! Will this man never listen?
“I only dated him for you,” I interrupt with sudden, blazing clarity.
“Excuse me?” My father sounds affronted, but I don’t care. If anything, it’s a bonus.
“I only dated him for you,” I repeat. “You were nicer to me when I was with Scott.” It’s true. All the barbs, the little digs, the insults—they stopped when I was with Scott. I used Scott as a shield between me and my dad just for some relief. Except Scott was worse.
“You both treated me badly.” I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.
“Listen—”
“No, you listen. You don’t get to treat me like I’m a child or someone lesser. Those days are done. I don’t need Scott. And I don’t need you.” I hang up.
Already I feel lighter. My instincts aren’t wrong. I just never listened to them before. It’s time I stop listening to other people. They don’t know what’s best for me. They might think they do, and they might have some good advice, but my life is my own. My choices.
And my happiness is available, right in front of me. I just have to reach out and take it. No one’s going to hand it to me, and it doesn’t matter. I can choose happiness for myself.
That’s how I find myself in my car, coaxing my little Hyundai up the mountain road. The little engine is slow to propel me forward, but slowly we gain elevation. And then I’m turning into the road for the lodge and speeding down that thickly wooded way. I pull into the parking lot in front of the garage big as an airplane hanger. Deke’s black Mercedes G63 is there, and so is his bike. My heart squeezes and thumps.
Here goes nothing.
Deke
“It changes nothing,” I rasp at my alpha. But he keeps grinning at me.
“You’re in control, Deke,” he says. “You always have been.”
I step back, away from Rafe, and glance at Lance, at Channing. Both my packmates are nodding.
“But what does this mean?” I know what I hope for, but it’s too good to be true.
Rafe must know I’m reeling because his voice is gentle. “It means you have a mate.”
A mate. I run a hand over my head, trying to catch my breath.
The sound of an engine makes my eyes snap up, alert. A little white Hyundai rolls down our drive and up to our garage. I only know one person who drives a car like that. My legs weaken, and I'd fall to my knees if I wasn’t so wounded and my wolf wasn’t so adamant that I not show weakness right now.
Sadie’s here.
Sadie
I get out of my car and startle when I realize Deke’s right there on the lawn, a few feet away from my car.
“Sadie?” Deke calls. He’s naked with blood marring his skin.
He’s all ripped up. Has he been fighting? Behind him Rafe and Lance are tugging on their jeans. I see blood on them, too, and they all look shameful. I’ve broken up quite a few scraps on the playground, and I know those guilty looks.
There’s a huge brown and white wolf behind them, lurking on the edge of the woods. Channing? Geez, these werewolves are big.
“Who did this to him?” I demand in my best teacher voice. I glare at his friends who all grow more sheepish. My legs tremble, but I hold my ground.
Deke makes a sound low in his throat and steps between his alpha and my line of sight. I refocus on him.
“Deke. Have you been fighting?”
“What are you doing here?” His voice is rough, like it hurts him to talk. I take a step towards him. I want to soothe all his wounds. “I’m here for you. For us.”
He tilts his head in that wolfish way of his. I can’t read his expression.
“You can’t get rid of me so easily.” I fist my hands at my sides. “We had something good together. You think you’re dangerous to me, but I know you’re not. You would never hurt me. You won’t.” I shake my head for emphasis.
Deke’s packmates slink back, giving us some space.
“Deke, I want this. I want you. And I'm going to figure out what it takes to have you. We don’t have to go too fast. We can take it slow and—oof!”
In two strides Deke has me up in his arms. I throw mine around his shoulders and hang on. Behind us, Rafe and the rest of his pack are grinning. Rafe nods, and Lance winks and gives me a thumbs up. Then Deke and I are in a garage.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask. My heart beats fast, adrenaline at war with anticipation. Normally I’d think it’s rude for a guy to scoop me off my feet and carry me off wherever he wants, but with Deke I’m happy to be along for the ride. “I don't mind. I’m just curious.”
“My room. My bed. Now.”
He carries me up a flight of stairs and into a cavernous room with rough wooden beams crisscrossing a cathedral ceiling. There’s a California king sized bed right under the huge windows. It’s covered with a big white comforter, and the room is surprisingly neat. Or not so surprising, considering this is Deke, and he’s careful with his things.
Deke sets me down on the floor next to the bed.
Then he’s kneeling and gripping my middle. My shirt has ridden up, and his face presses into my belly.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his words muffled against my skin. “I'm sorry.” My sweet savage werewolf.
“Deke,” I stroke his silky dark hair. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You had a bad episode. It happens—to humans, too. We can work through it.”
He huffs out a sigh and squeezes me tighter.
“It's okay.” I slide my hand along his jaw, lifting his face to mine. “I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere.”
The bunched muscles in his shoulders lift and fall as he sighs. Deke rises, lifting me at the same time. He lays me down on the big bed, and I sink into the fluffy white comforter.
“I want you to know how much you mean to me.” He m
oves over me, pining my wrists in a dominant yet somehow gentle move. “I need you to know.” He kisses down my neck and licks the same spot over and over. Then he turns his head to the side and groans.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I need to mark you, Sadie. If you’re really sure you want me.”
“I want you,” I promise.
“You have to be sure. Once I mark you, I’ll never let you go.”
“Mark me.” I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.
His big body shudders over me. “Fuck,” he rasps. “How did I get so lucky?” And then he's kissing me again, pulling up my shirt so that he can scrape his teeth along my breasts. Given what he just told me, I'm nervous but that doesn't stop my body from succumbing to pleasure.
He works his way down, kissing my belly, peeling off my jeans and rubbing his full face against my pussy. He pulls aside my panties and licks me, pinning my thighs down with his big hands, so I can't snap them together. Not that I want to. My hips are rising, grinding, offering up my lady parts to his tongue. His rough stubble scrapes deliciously over my smooth skin, sending pleasure-pain signals sizzling to my brain. My neurons short circuit, catch fire, shoot sparks. My werewolf is eating me in the best way.
My what a big tongue you have…
I come with a howl and jackknife in half, folding over Deke’s head. He growls, sending a fresh wave of adrenaline tingling to my fingertips. He unwraps a condom and rolls it on. Then his big body rears over me, his cock nudging its blunt head between my tender folds. I’m super wet for him, but I hiss as he stretches me and arch again as he bottoms out so deep inside me I can taste him.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I chant as his hips rock forward. The slow drag of his cock in and out lights up the pleasure center of my brain. But the real magic comes when his giant rod batters the back of my womb, hitting some crazy arousal spot. Deke’s deeper inside me than anyone’s ever been, and it’s ringing my bell. Ding, ding, ding, you win an orgasm! Carnival lights flash behind my eyes. I can only lie beneath him, body shuddering with each constant wave of climax, as he saws in and out of me. Each thrust bangs the headboard against the wall. I thought this bed looked sturdy, but I shouldn’t have underestimated the intensity of a werewolf screw. Deke works over me, every muscle in his chest standing out in relief as he bares his teeth and fucks me deep. Fire dances in his dark emerald eyes.
“Mine,” he growls. His hand slides up my chest until his fingers collar my throat. “Only mine.”
Yes! I want to shout, but my mouth is lax. The constant stream of orgasms is destroying me.
In my haze, I see Deke’s mouth yawning open in a roar. His teeth are whiter and longer than ever, the canines sharp and elongated. Time spirals slower, and everything in me clenches in anticipation of his bite.
Deke roots himself deep, groaning. His fangs graze the top of my shoulder. I sense him shaking, and I realize it’s from the effort of holding back.
“Do it,” I whisper. The dangerous scrap of his teeth awakens something primal in me. I reach up and grasp the back of his neck. “Yes.”
But the muscles of his neck are taut under my palm. He tosses his head back and forth, fighting himself.
“Do it. Do it now,” I whisper. He keeps thrusting, the force of his movement making the headboard beat against the wall in a booming rhythm. I dig my nails into his shoulders, marking him. “Do it!”
Deke rears back, his canines glinting and then snaps his head forward, sinking his fangs deep into my shoulder. Pain and pleasure slice through me, the sensations swelling and filling me with light and heat and flashes of fire.
“Yes,” I pant against the deep ache in my shoulder. “Yes.”
Deke withdraws, and the pain in my protesting muscle dissolves, sending white hot streaks of lightning sizzling to my core.
This is it. This is forever.
Chapter 17
Sadie
The wind blows my hair as I stand outside, overseeing recess on the playground. I have gauze over the puncture wounds, but they’re healing quickly. Deke dotes over me like crazy, trying to give me ibuprofen and cleaning the wounds with the healing properties on his tongue every chance he can get.
Still, I can tell he loves the mark, as well. His gaze goes soft every time he looks at it. He trails kisses all along my neck and across my collarbone and tells me how much he loves me. How he’s going to take care of me and protect me for the rest of our lives.
He also says marking me has calmed his wolf significantly. He doesn’t need to go out and run all night anymore. He’s content to stay at my place and protect me from any savage toys in my closet.
“Miss Sadie, look,” Owen cries and points. There's a big moving truck backing into a parking spot right beside the playground.
I wave to the teacher assistant, so she’ll know to watch my half of the class, and head to the fence to see what's going on. Several of my students have already gathered there.
“Army men,” Jackson announces. My breath catches as Deke jumps out of the passenger side of the cab followed by Rafe on the driver’s side. The alpha gives me a wink and heads to the back of the truck. Deke strides straight for me.
“What is this?” I ask when he gets close.
“Delivery for you,” he says then looks at the kids pressing their faces against the fence. “For all of you.”
Behind him, Rafe opens the truck door. Out jump Lance and Channing. Inside the truck are stacks and stacks of black boxes.
“Jackalopes,” Jackson and Owen scream in unison. The werewolf pack makes a chain, tossing a steady stream of black boxes down the line.
“Is this okay?” Deke waits for my nod before he starts handing the boxes to each kid.
“You bought one for everyone in the class?” I ask when I find my voice.
“For everyone in the school,” Rafe calls.
“Batteries included,” Channing adds.
“Great,” my teacher assistant mutters. She’s surrounded by a sea of kids holding their creepy, red-eyed toys, trying to administer order among chaos. It’s creepy as hell, but I can’t move, can’t speak.
“You okay?” Deke asks softly. The rest of the pack have moved on, probably to find the principal and figure out a way to deliver the world’s most coveted toy to every kid in my school.
I’m all choked up. In the past few days, I’ve learned so much about Deke, about his service, his nightmares. His life as a shifter. I even got to talk to a lion shifter couple, Nash and Denali. Nash served in the military, and Deke has been in contact with him daily, opening up about his PTSD.
But my favorite conversation was with Amber Green, a human woman who’s mated to a werewolf alpha in Tucson. She had a lot of advice for dating a werewolf and made me promise I’d call her whenever I needed to vent. “It’s hard, but it’s worth it.”
And looking at Deke, I know what she means. Here he is, watching me with his dark eyes, a little guarded, a little worried, trying so hard to make things right.
I love him more than ever. A little jolt goes through me. I love Deke Adalwulf.
Well, duh, my ovaries roll their eyes.
“Sadie?”
All my kids are distracted by their toys, so I slip out of the playground and approach my werewolf.
“I can’t believe you did this.” I let out a watery laugh. “How did you do this?”
He shrugs. “Figured it was the least I could do, since I destroyed the classroom toy.”
A cold wind blows, and I step closer to him. Shifters run hotter than humans, I’m discovering. Especially when they’re around their mates.
Sure enough, I step close, and Deke’s heat and scent surround me. He reaches out and pulls up my coat collar, shielding me from the wind.
“I'm going to get better,” he promises.
“I know.”
“I'm going to do it for you.” He presses his forehead against mine.
“I know,” I whisper. I rise to kiss him. E
ven on tiptoe, I only reach his chin. He dips his head and hauls me up with a hard arm around my waist. I melt against him, kissing him properly before pulling back my head to whisper, “Darling, think of the children.”
He growls but lets me down. My class didn’t notice our PDA, each kid too absorbed with their own personal Jackalope.
I’m about to ask him how exactly he found all these toys when Deke’s head snaps up. His nostrils flare, and he grimaces like he’s scenting something rotten.
“Sadie,” a harsh voice calls. I look up and see my father stalking out of the school. Automatically, I step closer to Deke.
“What’s going on here?” My father surveys my class with distaste twisting his mouth. Inside the playground fence, Jackson chases a little girl with his toy. Both kids scream with delight. I’m going to have to buy headache medicine for all my teacher friends and their assistants.
But it’s worth it.
“Sadie,” my dad shouts again. I know I should go and introduce Deke as my boyfriend. But I’m so tired of trying to get his approval, and I already know it won’t come where Deke is concerned. I suddenly see my dad for what he is: a bald, pot-bellied white man with an over-inflated sense of authority.
I turn back to Deke. “You know what, fudge it,” I say and surge back into his arms. Judging by his harrumph, my father gets the message, and I am left to lose myself in my mate’s kiss.
Sadie
“And that's how Deke won the love of every kid in the school,” Charlie finishes, her bottle of Fat Tire beer raised in the air.
“My goodness, this is a long toast,” Tabitha mutters.
Charlie flicks her middle finger up, tilting her bottle of beer and nearly spilling the liquid.
“A toast to Sadie and Deke,” Adele says smoothly, raising her own wine glass and stopping the fight before it begins.
I sip my wine and smile. It’s Whine Wednesday, and we're at a new restaurant outside of town, not far from Deke and the pack’s HQ. Nestled in the mountains, it’s a rustic chophouse with a huge fireplace and giant, cozy leather chairs. One taste of the parmesan truffle fries, and we unanimously voted to come here at least once a month.