“What’s yours?”
“Pink.”
She tossed a measuring cup in my direction while I dodged out of the way laughing.
“Be serious!” Her color returned to normal.
I eyed her up and down, not realizing until today that my favorite color had a lot to do with her. I’d never really given much thought to it. Andi and I had joked but I’d never seriously considered the question.
Until now.
I locked eyes with her and whispered, “Brown.” Then turned around and left the room.
…A lover is more condoling. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Valentina
I LEFT THE mess for Sergio and went to my room to grab some books. I wasn’t sure if he was going to actually want to hang out the rest of the day or if his little moment of peacemaking was over.
When I finally made it back down to the kitchen it was to see the man himself washing dishes.
If I thought Sergio kissing me, hovering over me as his lips found my neck over and over again was sexy — I was wrong.
Sergio bent over a sink.
I gasped.
I didn’t mean to.
He quickly turned, water splatters had part of his white T-shirt sticking to his abs in all the wrong places. Places that made my control slowly crumble into tiny little pieces of dust.
I needed a blindfold or something.
“I stole two cookies,” he confessed after turning back around and scrubbing the next dish. “But they were finished, so…”
“I don’t police the product once it’s done, so you’re safe.” I smiled as he hunched his shoulders as though he was gearing up for a heated discussion where I would cut him off from all sugar. “Thanks for cleaning up.”
“Yeah well, it was part of the deal.” He put the last measuring cup on the towel and dried it off then turned around in a semi-circle.
“Third drawer to your right.” I pointed.
“I knew that,” he said gruffly, grabbing the cups and tossing them in the drawer only to stare extra hard at the cookie trays.
“Do you know where anything in your kitchen is?”
“I don’t bake.”
“Nooooo.” I grinned then grabbed the cookie sheets and put them in the big drawer underneath the oven. Then I opened the pantry and went over to grab the heavy stand mixer.
“I got it.” He had it in one hand like it weighed nothing.
I pointed at the bottom shelf.
The smell of cookies clung in the air.
I had no other plans for the rest of the day except to read. I’d left my books on the kitchen bar.
“Are you going to read?” He grabbed all three and handed them over.
“Yeah.” I mean if I had a choice, I’d probably rather have a heated makeout session with him, but reading, I could read.
“I’ve got a better idea instead, if you’re up for it.”
I hugged my books like a shield. “Let’s hear it.”
“Swimming.”
“Swimming,” I repeated.
“Swimming.” With a nod at the window, he confirmed what he’d already said. “That is, unless you can’t swim.”
“Why swimming?”
“It’s one of my favorite things to do, and I figure that if I piss you off you can just drown me and put yourself out of your misery really fast without having to use any sort of murder weapon. Really, it’s a win-win.”
“Why would I drown you?”
“I missed your birthday. I abandoned you. Took your virginity then smashed the shit out of some glassware. Embarrassed you in front of new friends. Betrayed you. Lied—”
I held up my hand. “Repeating all of your sins doesn’t really make me feel like forking over forgiveness.”
“That’s the whole point, Val. I’ll keep reminding you until you trust me enough to know… it won’t happen again.”
“I don’t,” I said in a quiet voice. “I wish I trusted you, but I don’t.”
His voice fell to a rough whisper, “You will.”
“I don’t think I can… not until you show me everything, not just the pretty parts.”
“Did you just call me pretty?”
“Yes. You’re beautiful. Like a girl. Wow, what skin products do you use?”
He cursed. “I deserved that.”
Another nod.
“So, swimming?”
I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, because he really was trying to spend time with me, but the more I let him in, the more it would hurt when he eventually fought his way out, breaking every part of me until he was free, and I was left picking up the pieces.
“Yes,” I found myself saying. “But no touching of any kind.”
His lips pressed together as he hung his head. “All right.”
“All right.” I took a deep breath. “Now I need to find a swimsuit.”
Sergio sighed. “Follow me.”
I did.
He took the stairs too fast, making it nearly impossible to keep up with him. He stopped at one of the first guest rooms and reached for the handle, then pulled his hand back like it was going to burn him. “Just… wait here.”
Something felt off.
Wrong.
He moved into the dark room and quickly returned with three swim suits, each of them with tags still intact.
“Any of these work?”
The only reason my shaking hands took the suits from his hands was due to the fact that each had an expensive price tag hanging off of the material, meaning they’d never been worn.
He wouldn’t be looking at me, comparing me to a ghost.
“Yeah.” I tried to sound excited. “I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
About fifteen minutes later and I knew there was a huge difference between me and Andi.
She’d clearly been wasting away to nothing.
Because my boobs were barely covered by the thin scraps of white. What was worse, the swimsuit bottoms were extremely low and revealing. They fit. But I looked like a complete hooker. I’d never worn anything so revealing and, that was saying a lot, considering what my wedding dress had looked like.
And just like that I remembered.
I had another note.
One last note.
Sergio was probably already wondering if I’d fallen into the toilet or something, I’d just have to check later that night.
I positioned the bikini over my breasts as best I could and prayed I wouldn’t flash him as I slowly descended the stairs, careful not to add even a little bounce lest one of the girls pop out.
“Sergio?” I called.
“Kitchen,” he answered right away.
I slowly walked in and nearly passed out. He was shirtless. Of course he was shirtless, why, in this scenario, did I not think of that? That he would be without a shirt.
And that I’d see massive amounts of olive skin as he moved gracefully through the water. The marks on his side were a glaring reminder.
He was dangerous.
But his danger was no longer in what he could do to my body.
But to my heart.
“You don’t mind getting wet?” He didn’t turn around as he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Um, we are swimming right?” I awkwardly crossed my arms over my chest then huffed out a mild curse as I realized it only made the situation worse.
“It’s raining.” He pointed to the windows.
“Eh, it’s okay.”
“Great.” He turned around and swore a string of curses that had my ears burning red and my arms itching to grab a towel, blanket, muumuu — anything.
“This one fit the best,” I said, voice shaking.
“Clearly,” he choked, quickly turning around and bracing one hand against the counter before pushing off and walking briskly past me. “Follow me.”
I couldn’t tell if he was angry with me or just dealing with memories of swimming with Andi.
Was that reaction good or bad?
I had no idea, because I didn’t know men the way I should, and I really didn’t know Sergio the way I should.
Again, it was hard to keep up, so I started doing a slow jog after him, not watching where I was going until I turned a corner and slammed into his back.
“Sorry!” My arms flew around his midsection as I steadied myself, he was warm, cut, he was everything.
With a sigh he bowed his head, shoulders tense, he grabbed one of my hands and held it firm against his rock hard stomach. “We aren’t in the pool yet.”
“No.” My voice sounded weak, breathy.
“So touching is allowed right?”
“R-right.” I should have said wrong, but he felt so right, and his closeness was exactly what I’d been craving. I needed it more than I ever wanted to admit out loud, especially to him.
Carefully he set the wine glasses on a nearby table along with the wine and turned, his one hand still holding mine against his stomach.
Once we were face to face, he released me only to cup my face with his hands and whisper, “I want you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I know what I wanted to say, what my body was screaming for me to say, but I stayed silent instead.
“But I don’t deserve you. I’m not sure I ever will,” he finished, his eyes hooded. “Do me a favor?”
“What?” It was impossible not to be drawn in by his icy blue eyes and smoldering body heat.
“When I can kiss you again… tell me. I can’t read minds. I’m a guy. I need you to come out and say it. I need you to declare it out loud, so I know.”
“Okay.” Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He swore. “Great.” Another curse. “Out we go.” He quickly turned and opened the door to the outside patio then reached back inside for the wine glasses and wine.
The rain wasn’t too bad. At least not yet.
“The pool’s heated.” Two towels were already placed under the pergola, on one of the chairs. “Last one in—”
I surged past him and jumped into the pool — and immediately flashed the wall. Luckily, I was able to adjust my suit as he jumped in.
We swam for an hour. He asked me about life with the uncles.
I asked him about life in the mafia.
From favorite foods, to animals, movies, drinks, books, we covered everything, until I realized we weren’t even swimming at all. We were sitting on the stairs in the shallow end, talking.
That was it, just talking while the rain continued to pour on our heads.
Eventually I told him I was freezing, so we moved to the hot tub.
“Did you have any best friends growing up?” He leaned back on his elbows as he lazily swirled the wine in his glass.
“One.” Shivering, I scooted closer to him. He naturally lifted his arm as I scooted in his direction. “She was amazing.”
“What was her name?”
“Ara.” I shrugged. “She was gorgeous.” I don’t know why I said it, but she’d been stunning, so beautiful that you wanted to hate her, but in the end couldn’t help but love her.
“What happened?”
“Hmm?” I glanced up.
“You seem sad, what happened? Did you guys have a fight?”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head vigorously. “We only ever fought about things like books and movies. Her dad was a real piece of work. She never came out and said it, but sometimes I wondered about his treatment of her. He never yelled, but he hovered, in a really weird way.” I frowned. “One day, she came to my house and said she had to go, that her father had important work and she had no choice but to follow.”
“And she didn’t keep in touch? Your best friend?”
“She did.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Until suddenly, it just stopped. I’ve written her since then, but everything came back saying the address was no longer valid. We always thought it was more fun to send real letters instead of emails. It was kind of our thing. I tried texting a few months ago but it was undeliverable.”
Sergio pulled me close and kissed my head. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to look into it for you?”
I paused then pulled away. “What do you mean look into it? Is that code for kill someone?”
Sergio’s lips twitched. “I don’t shoot everyone, Val.”
“Coulda fooled me.”
His eyes locked on mine. “I’m serious. Do you want me to find her?”
“Maybe.” My stomach dropped. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“Consider it done. By the end of tomorrow I’ll have every known location and alias.”
“Alias?” I laughed. “She’s not a spy.”
“True.” He grinned. “Sometimes I forget not everyone wears masks.”
“I don’t.”
“No.” He swallowed. “You don’t.”
The rain started coming down harder as the silence between us grew. I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted him to kiss me.
There were so many things I wanted.
In a perfect world, I’d make him suffer for weeks, months. I’d make him realize that he’d hurt me. In a perfect world, he’d come crawling back and confess undying love.
In a perfect world — he would earn it, but painfully, slowly.
But the world I lived in — the one where Sergio existed — it was a different world, full of broken dreams, shattered expectations, and betrayal. It was a world consumed by doubt, lust, fury, anger, want.
It was a world that didn’t care if I didn’t want to give in, because it demanded it anyway.
“Sergio,” I whispered.
“Yeah.” His jaw twitched as he leaned in, rain slid down his perfect cheek bones.
“Kiss me.”
He didn’t ask if I was sure.
He didn’t hesitate.
He didn’t miss a beat… before his mouth collided with mine… his tongue sliding its way past any physical barrier… before I had the chance to put them up.
Hot hands moved to my breasts as he untied my swimsuit and tossed it outside of the hot tub, his mouth moved down my neck as he pulled me against his already aroused body.
I let out a moan as water splashed around our bodies, pushing us together, pulling us apart, moving with us as his teeth grazed the skin by my ear. His breath was hot as he whispered, “Tell me I can kiss you anywhere.”
“You…” I panted. “…can kiss me anywhere.”
He sighed in relief. “Thank God.” Without warning he slid his hand down my leg and tugged my swimsuit bottoms off then tossed them in the same direction my top had gone.
I didn’t have time to cover myself as he lifted me by the hips and set me up on the edge of the hot tub. All I saw was a sexy as sin dark head bob down and start to suck. I braced my hands against his shoulders as my body arched under the pressure of his mouth.
Back flexed, I dug my fingers into his muscles, trying to balance my body so I didn’t fall backward, whenever I felt like I was going to backflip over the side, he’d grip my hips so hard it almost hurt.
But the pain of him keeping me there.
Was completely forgotten as he moved his tongue, and kissed, and sucked, only to repeat each slow movement with a fast one, followed by tricks I didn’t even know existed.
I felt too much.
The cold rain, as it hit the top part of my body, gave me enough of a chill that I shook each time he took me deeper and deeper with his mouth.
“Sergio.” I pounded his back with my fist. “That’s…” I couldn’t form words, I didn’t know how.
“You taste perfect,” he whispered reverently — but didn’t stop, no, he never stopped. He tortured me until I was panting and then screaming his name at the top of my lungs. It was too much — he was too much.
Heaving with exertion, he pulled my body back into the hot tub only to kiss me over and over again, his hands going from cupping my breasts, down my back, and tugging me against him.
He cursed as I moved against his hardne
ss.
And cursed again when I locked my arms behind his head and did it again. Driving him crazy might just be my new favorite thing.
When I slid my hand into his swim trunks, he bit off such a violent curse I wasn’t sure if he was angry or just at his tipping point.
“What the HELL are you guys doing out in the rain?” a voice yelled.
I stopped moving and ducked my head into Sergio’s shoulder as he panted out, “Go back inside before I shoot you, Tex!”
“The door was open!” he yelled.
“One! Two!” Sergio started counting.
“Fine, fine.” Tex laughed loudly. “You two heat that water on your own? Nixon would shit himself if he saw all the steam coming off your bodies.”
Sergio flipped him off and blocked me with his body.
“We have news,” Tex yelled. “Five minutes to get decent, Serg, or I’m joining.”
“The hell you are!”
“Four minutes!”
“Son of a bitch.” Sergio slammed the water with one of his hands while the other held me against him. “Tell me the truth.” His swollen lips met mine in a punishing kiss. “Would you be terribly disappointed if I killed him so I could have sex with you?”
“Well, it’s human life,” I whispered. “Then again…” I glanced down at the water, even that didn’t hide evidence of his arousal. “It’s really a toss-up isn’t it?”
“You have…” He kissed me fiercely, tugging me by the hair as he growled out. “…no idea.”
…the juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid, will make man or woman madly dote. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
TEX GAVE ME a middle-finger salute about fifteen minutes later. I was dry. Decent. But extremely turned on, as in, if my jeans were any tighter, the friction from my zipper would be a serious issue.
“So…” Tex put his hands behind his head as I closed the door to my office and then opened it just to slam it again three more times. “How’s the married life?”
I opened my mouth then shut it and pulled out my chair. “What? What is so damn important you needed to interrupt?”
“Interrupt?” He cupped his ear. “Kissing? Damn, you move slow. I would have already been working on the baby-making part. Oh, wait.” He snapped his fingers while I envisioned my hands around his neck.
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