How to Survive an Undead Honeymoon (The Beginner's Guide to Necromancy Book 8)

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How to Survive an Undead Honeymoon (The Beginner's Guide to Necromancy Book 8) Page 13

by Hailey Edwards

The Grande Dame might be my mother-in-law, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be the one who explained this on record for the Society. Linus could handle that call, and someone at the Lyceum would get in touch with the Undead Coalition on the Rogoffs’ behalf.

  “I located the Oliphants’ grimoire.” Linus exited the pantry with a leather-bound book open across his palms. “There was a cache beneath the center of the pentagram, but it hadn’t been opened in decades.”

  Though I could guess the answer, I asked him anyway. “Find anything interesting?”

  “Verification the Oliphants are descended from witches, though it appears the family was no longer practicing beyond this specific rite.” He skimmed a page with his fingertip. “There’s an account of the master vampire slaughtering the townspeople, just as the Rogoffs said, though Lucius is referred to as a demon throughout.” He flipped a page. “Lucius, Lucifer. They thought he was the devil incarnate.”

  Hard to pity a vamp who got punished for getting caught with his hand in the killing spree cookie jar, but eternity was a long time to starve in the dark. The Society would have its hands full with this case.

  “There’s also a complete set of blueprints for the maze. There are other sealed doors, according to this. They were added later, over a span of years, so they’re not part of the original working.” He made a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. “It appears, rather than a gateway to hell, Chandler believed the house straddled a ley line. However, his coven was unable to tap into its power. With the structure already built, they turned to sacrifice to achieve their goals.”

  It sounded like this was a case of having just enough magic and know-how to be dangerous.

  “Are you saying there might be other missing vampires locked away?”

  “The evidence indicates the Oliphant coven hunted vampires who trespassed on their territory.”

  “Religious zeal?”

  “Fear.” He tilted the book forward to show her an illustration of a witch burning at the stake. “They took care of problems before humans got wind of them in order to protect themselves.” He flipped to a section near the back. “Look familiar?”

  Black ink swarmed the page, but distinct eyes had been drawn in the writhing mass.

  “Shadow cats.” I leaned closer. “Does it explain them?”

  “Yes and no.” He closed the book, set it on the counter, then washed his hands. “With a major sacrifice such as the deaths of the infants anchoring so much magic in the house, the Oliphants weren’t required to perform rituals on that scale to tap into the existing power structure.”

  “They made smaller sacrifices to cast smaller containment spells to hold less powerful vampires.” A pang swept through me. “Cats.”

  “Black cats,” he agreed. “Familiars.”

  “That’s why their blood worked.” All those poor kitties. The Oliphants must have bred them to have a ready supply on hand. “Familiars are magical conduits.”

  “Their souls were trapped here just as surely as the master vampire.”

  Uninterested in touching the book, I edged closer to him. “Breaking the spell freed them?”

  “We’ll know for certain at dusk.” He dried his hands. “But I believe so, yes.”

  “Why attack guests?” I leaned my hip against the counter. “They protected the baby.”

  “Perhaps they hoped to scare off any potential victims, or maybe they wanted to get your attention.” A shrug rolled through his shoulders. “Attacking you guaranteed we would investigate the phenomenon.”

  “Maybe.” Or maybe they were bloodthirsty jerks who were only sympathetic to fellow sacrifices.

  Linus took me by the hand and led me into the foyer. Shadows still crouched in the staircase’s corners where moonlight filtered through the windows, but the darkness wasn’t alive as it had been.

  The cats were gone.

  Bloodthirsty jerks or not, I hoped this meant they were finally at peace.

  “I don’t know about you.” I limped up the stairs. “But I might need a vacation from our honeymoon.”

  His soft laughter trailed us into our room, where we showered off the dirt and horrors in anticipation of the arrival of the cleaners, the Elite, and whatever emissaries the Society and the Undead Coalition dispatched to resolve this mess centuries in the making.

  Eleven

  Noon found me sluggish and yawning. I hated staying up so late, but I didn’t want to spend another day in this place if I could help it.

  The foul smells had vanished along with the shadow cats, but the prickling waves of magic caressed me from time to time, and I wanted to scrub my skin raw to be rid of them. They were remnants, echoes of the dark magic containing the master vampire, and the cleaners had called in a specialized coven to deal with its removal.

  Exhaustion sank its claws in me, but I didn’t dare shut my eyes.

  All those tiny skulls. All in a neat row. I would never forget the sight for as long as I lived.

  Linus, noticing how I drooped, delivered a plate with crisp celery stalks smothered in peanut butter and topped with raisins. I hadn’t eaten ants on a log since I was a kid, but I shoveled them in until I couldn’t move. Or maybe until he ran out of celery. One of those two things.

  Around two in the afternoon, the Elite left with Benny, Barb, and the newly freed Lucius Roque in tow. Kylie got her own escort to a different facility. There would be questions. A lot of them. And she was the only Oliphant left to answer.

  Around three, the sentinels’ interviews with the clan wrapped up, and the other vampires bedded down until dusk, eager to leave at nightfall and begin preparations for their master’s eventual return to their clan home.

  Around four, the cleaners left the cottage with the Oliphants’ remains and went on standby until they got their turn at the inn.

  Around five, a containment unit comprised of fresh Elite sentinels arrived to begin searching each floor of the subbasement for any survivors. They were already dead, well, undead, but Barb was right. No one deserved to be walled up for all eternity beneath a strip mall.

  By the time dusk fell, I could barely hold my eyes open, and I had no idea what was going on anymore. Too many people had been in and out, too many questions had been asked, and too much time had passed since I demolished my snack.

  I wanted to eat, and I wanted to snuggle Linus until I forgot what I had seen. More than that, I wanted to go home.

  “You look beat.” Lethe tossed me a strip of jerky, the last inch of it anyway. “Ready to go?”

  “Been ready.” I yawned. “I want to eat this, but I’m too lazy to make chewing motions.”

  “That’s really sad. How about this?” She dipped into her pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar. “It will melt on your tongue, and it has caffeine. Mm. Caffeine.”

  “Chocolate and caffeine. Two of my favorite food groups.” I made grabby hands at her. “Yes, please.”

  Hood breezed in, keys dangling from his fingers. Lethe lunged for them, and he held them high over his head so she couldn’t reach, even on tiptoe.

  “I enlisted a sentinel to drop our rental off at the airport,” Hood told Lethe, ignoring her short bunny hops with a grin. Eyebrows raised, he checked with me. “I figured I could drive us all home in yours since Lethe would ride your bumper the whole way otherwise.”

  “That works for me.” I checked with Linus, and he nodded. “Thanks.”

  Hood caught Lethe around the waist and planted a kiss on her lips, which was cute until she hooked her legs around his waist, climbing his torso like a tree to snatch at the keys.

  “Lethe.” He stared at her with his eyes soft but his mouth firm. “Stop putting it off. You promised.”

  Lethe huffed out an exhale and unclimbed her mate. “We need to talk before we leave.”

  In all the insanity, I had forgotten her bargain. I guess the honeymoon really was over.

  “Walk with me.” She linked her arm through mine then did the same with Linus. “Both of you.


  We exited the inn, Hood behind us, and Lethe tugged us to a quiet spot.

  “There’s a very good reason why Hood and I were already on our way to you when Cletus dropped in with the perfect excuse for us to intrude,” she confessed. “I didn’t put it together until after you two left the wedding reception, or I would have mentioned it sooner.”

  Wary of her tone, I frowned over at her. “Put what together?”

  “You threw up the morning after the wedding,” she reminded me. “I was there, remember?”

  Just recapping the wonders of the dessert table while I packed had sent me running to hug the toilet.

  “We ate like fifty-billion cakes.” I laughed, relieved that was her damning clue. “I was sugared out.”

  “That’s never stopped you before,” she countered. “We’ve eaten more and still gone back for tenths or elevenths or whatever.”

  “I haven’t barfed once since.” I crossed my finger over my heart. “What’s that got to do with—?”

  Linus fell behind, and his arm slid from Lethe’s. His knees kind of…locked, and he stood there frozen.

  “Linus?” I rushed to him and smoothed my hands down his chest. “Are you okay?”

  His mouth moved, but nothing came out. His eyes were wide, startled, panicked.

  A tremor worked from his ankles up his legs and throughout the rest of his body.

  “I’ll fix this.” I reached for my pocketknife. “Stay with me.”

  Lethe put a hand on my shoulder. “Grier…”

  “Speak to me.” I touched the blade to my palm. “Linus.”

  Slowly, he wet his lips. “You’re pregnant.”

  The knife tumbled from my hand to thump in the dirt. “What?”

  “You’re…pregnant.”

  Laughter burst out of me, and I doubled over, wheezing through it. “Good one.”

  “He’s not wrong.” Lethe retreated behind Hood. “I can smell it, loud and clear.”

  Since I was already bent in half, I didn’t have a long way down to land on my butt. It still hurt, but my tailbone was used to the abuse. “I use a contraceptive sigil.”

  Peering around him, she reminded me, “Magic doesn’t always work right on you.”

  “I’m on birth control.”

  “The pill is notoriously unreliable when taken by magical creatures.”

  “That’s why I doubled up,” I growled. “I should have been safe.”

  From behind Hood’s back, she told Linus, “Maybe next time also wear a condom or three?”

  That was all it took to tip him over. His legs gave, and he fell. He landed in a seated position, but the way he was swaying, I wasn’t certain how long he would stay vertical.

  “Are you…” Linus managed a whisper in my direction, “…unhappy?”

  “I’m shocked.” I would have crawled to him, but I couldn’t feel my legs. “This was not the plan.”

  We had budgeted a good century of our lives for the pursuit of selfish pleasures. We were so young. We had all the time in the world, or nearly, to have kids. But all that planning evaporated with two little words.

  “I’m…pregnant.” I spread a palm across my abdomen. “Wait.” I dropped it again just as fast. “How accurate are gwyllgi noses when it comes to these things?”

  “Ninety percent or so,” Hood answered for her. “The change in your hormones triggered Lethe’s protective instincts. When you left for your honeymoon, she came unglued.”

  “It starts with the alpha and works its way down,” Lethe confessed. “Before the nine months are up, every member of the pack has baby fever and can’t go a day without seeing the mother-to-be.”

  “Oh, goddess.” I clutched my head. “Linus?”

  “Yes,” he rasped, hunched over like the bones had been ripped from his spine.

  “Are you…” I swallowed hard, “…unhappy?”

  “I’m terrified.” He walked over to me on his knees and gathered me in his arms. “I had hoped we would have time to determine how our gifts would mix before taking this step but…”

  Peeking up at his face, which had gone paler than usual, I curled against him. “But?”

  “A child,” he breathed. “With you.” He cupped my face in his palms. “How could that ever make me unhappy?” He kissed my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my chin. “Woolly is going to be a grandmother.”

  And Cletus a grandwraith.

  Tears welled in my eyes, and I let them fall. “She’ll be thrilled.”

  His face a neutral mask, he pulled back to see me better. “But are you?”

  “I’m coming around to the idea.” I laughed, and we all ignored the hysterical lilt at the end. “A baby.”

  “A baby,” he echoed. “Our baby.”

  “Are you two done panicking,” Lethe asked, “or should we call an ambulance to drive you home?”

  Linus and I helped each other to our feet. Then Hood and Lethe were there to embrace us.

  Lethe squeezed me gently. “Congratulations, Mom.”

  “Thanks, Auntie Lethe.”

  “Buckle up,” Hood told Linus as they clasped hands. “Fatherhood is a wild ride.”

  Too dazed to respond, Linus pumped his arm, his fingers gone limp.

  Once the hugs and backslapping ended, the four of us—no, the five of us—headed for the rental car.

  Linus and I didn’t speak the whole way back to Woolworth House. We held each other in the backseat and let the gwyllgi fill the silence. There was so much to wrap our heads around and so little time to do it.

  Nine months.

  They would pass in a blink.

  How would I patrol? How would I keep my city safe? How would I protect my child from my enemies?

  The answer came to me in a rush of warmth that curled around my heart the same as I curled around my husband.

  Together.

  Linus and I would do this together. With a little help from our friends.

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  About the Author

  USA Today best-selling author Hailey Edwards writes about questionable applications of otherwise perfectly good magic, the transformative power of love, the family you choose for yourself, and blowing stuff up. Not necessarily all at once. That could get messy.

  www.HaileyEdwards.net

  Also by Hailey Edwards

  The Foundling

  Bayou Born #1

  Bone Driven #2

  Death Knell #3

  The Beginner’s Guide to Necromancy

  How to Save an Undead Life #1

  How to Claim an Undead Soul #2

  How to Break an Undead Heart #3

  How to Dance an Undead Waltz #4

  How to Live an Undead Lie #5

  How to Wake an Undead City #6

  The Epilogues

  How to Kiss an Undead Bride #7

  How to Survive an Undead Honeymoon #8

  Black Dog Series

  Dog with a Bone #1

  Dog Days of Summer #1.5

  Heir of the Dog #2

  Lie Down with Dogs #3

  Old Dog, New Tricks #4

  Black Dog Series Novellas

  Stone-Cold Fox

  Gemini Series

  Dead in the Water #1

  Head Above Water #2

  Hell or High Water #3

  Gemini Series Novellas

  Fish Out of Waterr />
  Lorimar Pack Series

  Promise the Moon #1

  Wolf at the Door #2

  Over the Moon #3

  Araneae Nation

  A Heart of Ice #.5

  A Hint of Frost #1

  A Feast of Souls #2

  A Cast of Shadows #2.5

  A Time of Dying #3

  A Kiss of Venom #3.5

  A Breath of Winter #4

  A Veil of Secrets #5

  Daughters of Askara

  Everlong #1

  Evermine #2

  Eversworn #3

  Wicked Kin

  Soul Weaver #1

 

 

 


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