Overhead, foggy webs of moisture drifted across the moon. The sky was a vast barren plain, without life or warmth. The deathly cold of deep space, away from suns and living things. He gazed up until his neck ached. Cold stars, sliding in and out of the matted layer of fog. Was there anything else? Didn’t they want to come, or weren’t they interested in him? It had been Silvia who had interested them—now they had her.
Behind him there was a movement without sound. He sensed it and started to turn, but suddenly, on all sides, the trees and undergrowth shifted. Like cardboard props they wavered and ran together, blending dully in the night shadows. Something moved through them, rapidly, silently, then was gone.
They had come. He could feel them. They had shut off their power and flame. Cold, indifferent statues, rising among the trees, dwarfing the cedars—remote from him and his world, attracted by curiosity and mild habit.
“Silvia,” he said clearly. “Which are you?”
There was no response. Perhaps she wasn’t among them. He felt foolish. A vague flicker of white drifted past the trough, hovered momentarily and then went on without stopping. The air above the trough vibrated, then died into immobility, as another giant inspected briefly and withdrew.
Panic breathed through him. They were leaving again, receding back into their own world. The trough had been rejected; they weren’t interested.
“Wait,” he muttered thickly.
Some of the white shadows lingered. He approached them slowly, wary of their flickering immensity. If one of them touched him, he would sizzle briefly and puff into a dark heap of ash. A few feet away he halted.
“You know what I want,” he said. “I want her back. She shouldn’t have been taken yet.”
Silence.
“You were too greedy,” he said. “You did the wrong thing. She was going to come over to you, eventually. She had it all worked out.”
The dark fog rustled. Among the trees the flickering shapes stirred and pulsed responsive to his voice. “True,” came a detached, impersonal sound. The sound drifted around him, from tree to tree, without location or direction. It was swept off by the night wind to die into dim echoes.
Relief settled over him. They had passed—they were aware of him—listening to what he had to say.
“You think it’s right?” he demanded. “She had a long life here. We were going to marry, have children.”
There was no answer. But he was conscious of a growing tension. He listened intently, but he couldn’t make out anything. Presently he realized a struggle was taking place, a conflict among them. The tension grew—more shapes flickered—the clouds, the icy stars, were obscured by the vast presence, swelling around him.
“Rick!” A voice spoke close by. Wavering, drifting back into the dim regions of the trees and dripping plants. He could hardly hear it—the words were gone as soon as they were spoken. “Rick—help me get back.”
“Where are you?” He couldn’t locate her. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice was wild with bewilderment and pain. “I don’t understand. Something went wrong. They must have thought I—wanted to come right away. I didn’t!”
“I know,” Rick said. “It was an accident.”
“They were waiting. The cocoon,the trough—but it was too soon.” Her terror came across to him, from the vague distances of another universe. “Rick, I’ve changed my mind. I want to come back.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“I know. Rick, time is different on this side. I’ve been gone so long—your world seems to creep along. It’s been years, hasn’t it?”
“One week,” Rick said.
“It was their fault. You don’t blame me, do you? They know they did the wrong thing. Those who did it have been punished, but that doesn’t help me.” Misery and panic distorted her voice so he could hardly understand her. “How can I come back?”
“Don’t they know?”
“They say it can’t be done.” Her voice trembled. “They say they destroyed the clay part—it was incinerated. There’s nothing for me to go back to.”
Rick took a deep breath. “Make them find some other way. It’s up to them. Don’t they have the power? They took you over too soon—they must send you back. It’s their responsibility.”
The white shapes shifted uneasily. The conflict rose sharply; they couldn’t agree. Rick warily moved back a few paces.
“They say it’s dangerous.” Silvia’s voice came from no particular spot. “They say it was attempted once.” She tried to control her voice. “The nexus between this world and yours is unstable. There are vast amounts of free-floating energy. The power we—on this side—have isn’t really our own. It’s a universal energy, tapped and controlled.”
“Why can’t they…”
“This is a higher continuum. There’s a natural process of energy from lower to higher regions. But the reverse process is risky. The blood—it’s a sort of guide to follow—a bright marker.”
“Like moths around a light bulb,” Rick said bitterly.
“If they send me back and something went wrong—” She broke off and then continued, “If they make a mistake, I might be lost between the two regions. I might be absorbed by the free energy. It seems to be partly alive. It’s not understood. Remember Prometheus and the fire…”
“I see,” Rick said, as calmly as he could.
“Darling, if they try to send me back, I’ll have to find some shape to enter. You see, I don’t exactly have a shape any more. There’s no real material form on this side. What you see, the wings and the whiteness, are not really there. If I succeeded to make the trip back to your side…”
“You’d have to mould something,” Rick said.
“I’d have to take something there—something of clay. I’d have to enter it and reshape it. As He did a long time ago, when the original form was put on your world.”
“If they did it once, they can do it again.”
“The One who did that is gone. He passed on upward.” There was unhappy irony in her voice. “There are regions beyond this. The ladder doesn’t stop here. Nobody knows where it ends, it just seems to keep on going up and up. World after world.”
“Who decides about you?” Rick demanded.
“It’s up to me,” Silvio said faintly. “They say, if I want to take the chance, they’ll try it.”
“What do you think you’ll do?” he asked.
“I’m afraid. What if something goes wrong? You haven’t seen ft, the region between. The possibilities there are incredible—they terrify me. He was the only one with enough courage. Everyone else has been afraid.”
“It was their fault. They have to take responsibility.”
“They know that.” Silvia hesitated miserably. “Rick, darling, please tell me what to do.”
“Come back!”
Silence. Then her voice, thin and pathetic. “All right, Rick. If you think that’s the right thing.” “
“It is,” he said firmly. He forced his mind not to think, not to picture or imagine anything. He had to have her back. “Tell them to get started now. Tell them—”
A deafening crack of heat burst in front of him. He was lifted up and tossed into a flaming sea of pure energy. They were leaving and the scalding lake of sheer power bellowed and thundered around him. For a split second he thought he glimpsed Silvia, her hands reaching imploringly towards him.
Then the fire cooled and he lay blinded in dripping, night moistened darkness. Alone in the silence.
Walter Everett was helping him up. “You damn fool!” he was saying, again and again. “You shouldn’t have brought them back. They’ve got enough from us.”
Then he was in the big, warm living-room. Mrs. Everett stood silently in front of him, her face hard and expressionless. The two daughters hovered anxiously around him, fluttering and curious, eyes wide with morbid fascination.
“I’ll be all right,” Rick muttered. His clothing was charred and
blackened. He rubbed black ash from his face. Bits of dried grass stuck to his hair—they had seared a circle around him as they’d ascended. He lay back against the couch and closed his eyes. When he opened them, Betty Lou Everett was forcing a glass of water into his hand.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
“You should never have gone out there,” Walter Everett repeated. “Why? Why’d you do it? You know what happened to her. You want the same thing to happen to you?”
“I want her back,” Rick said quietly.
“Are you mad? You can’t get her back. She’s gone.” His lips twitched convulsively. “You saw her.”
Betty Lou was gazing at Rick intently. “What happened out there?” she demanded. “They came again, didn’t they?”
Rick got heavily to his feet and left the living-room. In the kitchen he emptied the water in the sink and poured himself a drink. While he was leaning wearily against the sink, Betty Lou appeared in the doorway.
“What do you want?” Rick demanded.
The girl’s thin face was flushed an unhealthy red. “I know something happened out there. You were feeding them, weren’t you?” She advanced towards him. “You’re trying to get her back?”
“That’s right,” Rick said.
Betty Lou giggled nervously. “But you can’t. She’s dead—her body’s been cremated—I saw it.” Her face worked excitedly. “Daddy always said that something bad would happen to her, and it did.” She leaned close to Rick. “She was a witch! She got what she deserved!”
“She’s coming back,” Rick said.
“No!” Panic stirred the girl’s drab features. “She can’t come back. She’s dead—like she always said—worm into butterfly—she’s a butterfly!”
“Go inside,” Rick said.
“You can’t order me around,” Betty Lou answered. Her voice rose hysterically. “This is my house. We don’t want you around here any more. Daddy’s going to tell you. He doesn’t want you and I don’t want you and my mother and sister…”
The change came without warning. Like a film gone dead. Betty Lou froze, her mouth half open, one arm raised, her words dead on her tongue. She was suspended, an instantly lifeless thing raised slightly off the floor, as if caught between two slides of glass. A vacant insect, without speech or sound, inert and hollow. Not dead, but abruptly thinned back to primordial inanimacy.
Into the captured shell filtered new potency and being. It settled over her, a rainbow of life that poured into place eagerly like hot fluid—into every part of her. The girl stumbled and moaned; her body jerked violently and pitched against the wall. A china teacup tumbled from an overhead shelf and smashed on the floor. The girl retreated numbly, one hand to her mouth, her eyes wide with pain and shock.
“Oh!” she gasped. “I cut myself.” She shook her head and gazed up mutely at him, appealing to him. “On a nail or something.”
“Silvia!” He caught hold of her and dragged her to her feet, away from the wall. It was her arm he gripped, warm and full and mature. Stunned grey eyes, brown hair, quivering breasts—she was now as she had been those last moments in the basement.
“Let’s see it,” he said. He tore her hand from her mouth and shakily examined her finger. There was no cut, only a thin white line rapidly dimming. “It’s all right, honey. You’re all right. There’s nothing wrong with you!”
“Rick, I was over there.” Her voice was husky and faint. “They came and dragged me across with them.” She shuddered violently. “Rick, am I actually back?”
He crushed her tight. “Completely back.”
“It was so long. I was over there a century. Endless ages. I thought—” Suddenly she pulled away. “Rick…”
“What is it?”
Silvia’s face was wild with fear. “There’s something wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong. You’ve come back home and that’s all that matters.”
Silvia retreated from him. “But they took a living form, didn’t they? Not discarded clay. They don’t have the power, Rick. They altered His work instead.” Her voice rose in panic. “A mistake—they should have known better than to alter the balance. It’s unstable and none of them can control the…”
Rick blocked the doorway. “Stop talking like that!” he said fiercely. “It’s worth it—anything’s worth it. If they set things out of balance, it’s their own fault.”
“We can’t turn it back!” Her voice rose shrilly, thin and hard, like drawn wire. “We’ve set it in motion, started the waves lapping out. The balance He set up is altered.”
“Come on, darling,” Rick said. “Let’s go and sit in the living-room with your family. You’ll feel better. You’ll have to try to recover from this.”
They approached the three seated figures, two on the couch, one in the straight chair by the fireplace. The figures sat motionless, their faces blank, their bodies limp and waxen, dulled forms that did not respond as the couple entered the room.
Rick halted, uncomprehending. Walter Everett was slumped forward, newspaper in one hand, slippers on his feet; his pipe was still smoking in the deep ashtray on the arm of his chair. Mrs. Everett sat with a lapful of sewing, her face grim and stern, but strangely vague. An unformed face, as if the material were melting and running together. Jean sat huddled in a shapeless heap, a ball of clay wadded up, more formless each moment.
Abruptly Jean collapsed. Her arms fell loose beside her. Her head sagged. Her body, her arms and legs filled out. Her features altered rapidly. Her clothing changed. Colours flowed in her hair, her eyes,her skin. The waxen pallor was gone.
Pressing her finger to her lips she gazed up at Rick mutely. She blinked and her eyes focused. “Oh,” she gasped. Her lips moved awkwardly; the voice was faint and uneven, like a poor sound track. She struggled up jerkily, with unco-ordinated movements that propelled her stiffly to her feet and towards him—one awkward step at a time—like a wire dummy.
“Rick, I cut myself,” she said. “On a nail or something.”
What had been Mrs. Everett stirred. Shapeless and vague, it made dull sounds and flopped grotesquely. Gradually it hardened and shaped itself. “My finger,” its voice gasped feebly. Like mirror echoes dimming off into darkness, the third figure in the easy chair took up the words. Soon, they were all of them repeating the phrase, four fingers, their lips moving in unison.
“My finger. I cut myself, Rick.”
Parrot reflections, receding mimicries of words and movement. And the settling shapes were familiar in every detail. Again and again, repeated around him, twice on the couch, in the easy chair, close beside him—so close he could hear her breathe and see her trembling lips.
“What is it?” the Silvia beside him asked.
On the couch one Silvia resumed its sewing—she was sewing methodically, absorbed in her work. In the deep chair another took up its newspapers, its pipe and continued reading. One huddled, nervous and afraid. The one beside him followed as he retreated to the door. She was panting with uncertainty, her grey eyes wide, her nostrils flaring.
“Rick…”
He pulled the door open and made his way out on to the dark porch. Machine-like, he felt his way down the steps, through the pools of night collected everywhere, towards the driveway. In the yellow square of light behind him, Silvia was outlined. peering unhappily after him. And behind her, the other figures, identical, pure repetitions, nodding over their tasks.
He found his coupé and pulled out on to the road.
Gloomy trees and houses flashed past. He wondered how far It would go. Lapping waves spreading out—a widening circle as the imbalance spread.
He turned on to the main highway; there were soon more cars around him. He tried to see into them, but they moved too swiftly. The car ahead was a red Plymouth. A heavy-set man in a blue business suit was driving, laughing merrily with the woman beside him. He pulled his own coupé up close behind the Plymouth and followed it. The man flashed gold teeth, grinned, waved his plump hands. The girl
was dark-haired, pretty. She smiled at the man, adjusted her white gloves, smoothed down her hair, then rolled up the window on her side.
He lost the Plymouth. A heavy diesel truck cut in between them. Desperately he swerved around the truck and nosed in beyond the swift-moving red sedan. Presently it passed him and, for a moment, the two occupants were clearly framed. The girl resembled Silvia. The same delicate line of her small chin—the same deep lips, parting slightly when she smiled—the same slender arms and hands. It was Silvia. The Plymouth turned off and there was no other car ahead of him.
He drove for hours through the heavy night darkness. The gas gauge dropped lower and lower. Ahead of him dismal rolling countryside spread out, blank fields between towns and unwinking stars suspended in the bleak sky. Once, a cluster of red and yellow lights gleamed. An intersection—filling stations and a big neon sign. He drove on past it.
At a single-pump stand, he pulled the car off the highway, on to the oil-soaked gravel. He climbed out, his shoes crunching the stone underfoot, as he grabbed the gas hose and unscrewed the cap of his car’s tank. He had the tank almost full when the door of the drab station building opened and a slim woman in white overalls, and navy shirt, with a little cap lost in her brown curls, stepped out.
“Good evening, Rick,” she said quietly.
He put back the gas hose. Then he was driving out on to the highway. Had he screwed the cap on again? He didn’t remember. He gained speed. He had gone over a hundred miles. He was nearing the state line.
At a little roadside café, warm, yellow light glowed in the gloom of early morning. He slowed the car down and parked at the edge of the highway in the deserted parking lot. Bleary-eyed he pushed the door open and entered.
Hot, thick smells of cooking ham and black coffee surrounded him, the comfortable sight of people eating, a juke box blared in the corner. He threw himself on to a stool and hunched over, his head in his hands. A thin farmer next to him glanced at him curiously and then returned to his newspaper. Two hard-faced women across from him gazed at him momentarily. A handsome youth in denim jacket and jeans was eating red beans and rice, washing it down with steaming coffee from a heavy mug.
A Handful of Darkness Page 18