“Max,” I said, shaking my head. “Let’s not even go there.”
“When was this?” Trent asked.
“Five years ago.”
“Before you were with Cole?”
I nodded.
“Hmm….”
“What are you suggesting?” I asked. Trent acted like he could have done better when I knew damn well it wasn’t so much Max’s failure but my love for Cole that prevented us from having any sort of relationship.”
“Maybe you should give it another go?”
“With you?” I must have looked incredulous because he was defensive and responded almost immediately.
“You’re a submissive, Sloan. You just don’t know it.”
“Says who?”
“Me. I’ve observed you and Cole from afar. He calls the shots.”
“You don’t know squat about me and Cole.”
“Maybe not all the details, but I’m pretty perceptive about these things. Hell, I’ve seen you with Max. You’re obviously attracted to dominant men.”
I stood abruptly and nodded at Max. “See you in the morning.” I turned and glared at Trent, who continued to watch my every move.
“You’re wrong about me.”
“I don’t think so,” he responded, cool as a fucking cucumber.
Chapter 15
Max knocked on my door and pushed in before I could utter one word.
“Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned.
“Who does he think he is, anyway?” I snapped, wishing it was Trent who intruded so I could punch him in the mouth.
“Trent Hamilton is a well-regarded Dom who’s set his eyes on you.”
“Screw him!”
“Come here.” Max drew me into his embrace. “Let it go, will you? I want you guys to get along.”
“Why?” I shoved him away. “Does everyone share Trent’s opinion? Do you?”
“Relax.”
“He called me a fucking pussy, and I’m supposed to calm down?”
“He did not call you that.”
“He may as well have,” I said heatedly. “I am neither Cole’s doormat nor yours.”
“No one said you were.”
“He said I was attracted to dominant men. What does that say about me?”
“Oh, for God’s sake. You obviously need another tutorial from Jason. You are way too sensitive on this issue.”
“Do you agree with Trent?”
“In a way.”
“Awesome.”
“Come here,” Max wrapped a strong arm around my shoulder and guided me out the door gently.
“Where are you taking me?”
“You need a drink, or you’ll never get to sleep. Apart from that, you didn’t tell me what happened at home.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
“We’ll talk about Trent later. Why are you here without Cole?”
“We had a major fight.”
He coaxed me into his bedroom and onto the love seat. I watched in sullen silence as he poured brandy into the crystal snifters. “What did Cole do?” he asked as he handed me a drink.
The liquid burned a path down my throat. It was so strong it made my eyes water. “Jesus, what is this? Lighter fluid?”
“You’re such a peasant, darling. It’s Rémy Martin XO.”
“It’s vile.”
“Drink or you’ll never calm down.”
I took a few more sips and already felt marginally better. I slumped back on multiple pillows and closed my eyes. The churning in my gut subsided and as much as I hated to admit Max was right, the drink was doing the job.
“Hey,” Max prodded. “Tell me already.”
My eyelids fluttered open and I sighed heavily. “Cole dropped an unexpected bomb on me. He thinks I’m going to leave him one of these days, so his plan is to have a family to sustain him when I walk out the door.”
Max raised both eyebrows. “Have you given him any reason to doubt you?”
“You know me better than that.”
“I might have been wrong.”
“You’re not,” I insisted. “I’ve never cheated. But Cole is convinced it’ll happen at some point because I’m young and attractive and blah-fucking-blah. He said I shouldn’t have to be saddled with a blind man.”
“And here I thought you were the only one with issues.”
“I guess we’re both fucked up,” I admitted sadly. “Max, he’s been listening to the gossip. Apparently, people have been talking behind my back and wondering how soon I’ll jump ship. Why can’t those bitches mind their own business?”
“Didn’t you set him straight?”
“I tried, but there’s no way I can change his mind. Once he gets an idea in his head, he doesn’t let it go―stubborn motherfucker.”
“He’s always been rather obtuse.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sloan, he’s opinionated and demanding.”
“Don’t—”
“I’m being frank, darling. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, but it’s who he is, and you’ve been marching to his tune since you met. There’s a lot of truth to Trent’s accusation.”
“You think I’m a doormat?”
“I wish you’d drop that word from your vocabulary. For your information, Jason is an FBI profiler.”
“Wow, I never would have guessed. Even after his explanation, the word submissive makes me cringe.”
“It’s your perception, but it’s not real. A true submissive wants to please his dominant partner, but this trait has nothing to do with lacking a backbone.”
“Why do you people have to put us in a slot, though? Why can’t it be about two guys attracted to each other and making it work?”
“That’s exactly what a D/s relationship is. Two people making it work.”
“You’re oversimplifying,” I said. “Most relationships in the real world don’t involve torture. You get turned on by inflicting pain on your submissive partner and seeing how far you can push before the other one breaks.”
“No,” Max insisted. “The last thing I want is a broken submissive. In fact, it’s the worst possible outcome. It’s my responsibility to keep my sub safe while helping him achieve his own goals. Realizing one special moment makes the suffering worthwhile.”
“And what is the goal?”
“Subspace.”
“You’ve been talking about this for years, but all I can remember is the intense pain.”
“Because I mistakenly assumed you were a masochist. I was wrong, Sloan, and I’ll always regret it since I’m pretty sure you’ll never give me another chance to prove myself.”
“Max,” I said, reaching for his hand. “You’re too valuable as a friend to muck it up with sex.”
“I hear you, darling. Let me ask you, though, and be honest. Are you attracted to Trent?”
“He’s a jerk.”
“Sloan….”
“He’s hot; I’ll grant you that much.”
“I plan on using him for the Brit photo shoot.”
“Didn’t you tell me they wanted a redhead?”
“He’s willing to dye his hair.”
“Oh God.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Do you have any idea what he’ll look like in a kilt?”
Max’s smile was as wicked as every dirty thought I had running through my brain. “I know exactly what he’ll look like, and it’s why I asked him to be my Scotsman.”
I groaned and covered my face with both hands. “Please, don’t make me be a part of this shoot.”
“Too late. I’ve already signed the contract and banked your advance.”
“You didn’t even ask me,” I protested.
“I’ve never had to in the past.”
“Max, I can’t. Not with him.”
“You are attracted to him.”
“Last time I checked, I still had a pulse.”
“Maybe Cole knows something even you don’t know.”
>
“What? You think I’m on the verge of jumping into a relationship with a man I hardly know simply because I’m unhappy? Give me a fucking break. I’ve been faithful from the beginning. Why do you assume I’ll break the fast with Trent?”
“Because you will,” Max said, nodding. “I hate the idea, but I’m not going to do a thing to stop it. You need to figure out what you want out of life, Sloan. Cole’s theory isn’t as preposterous as you make it sound. He’s been the center of your existence for five long years. When was the last time you did anything spontaneous or Sloan-driven?”
“When we went horseback riding.”
“Christ. I admire your dedication, but you’ll turn into a bitter old man if you don’t get a chance to spread your wings. Only then can you be absolutely sure that being with Cole and settling down with a family are the right decisions.”
“I love him, Max.”
“Sloan, I’m not saying you don’t. We all know how much you care, but it’s time you address your own needs. Ever since we’ve met, it’s been about Cole.”
“I don’t want to lose him because I’m too scared to be a father or deal with some bitch I know nothing about.”
“What if you knew everything about her? Would it make the decision easier?”
“Maybe.”
“Precisely. This situation is more than just deciding if Noriko is the right person to surrogate. It’s about the rest of your life. You’re twenty-eight years old with hardly any experience. Try being selfish for a change. Do you even know what makes you happy? Cole isn’t going anywhere. I can almost guarantee he’ll be waiting for you if and when you decide to go back to him. If Trent will get you through this crisis and help you come to an informed decision, then I’ll step back and let it happen.”
“I’m not into his brand of loving.”
“Trent’s nothing like me, darling.”
“Whatever.” I got up, effectively putting an end to the discussion. “Is the fucking PI ever going to get in touch with me?”
“As soon as he has something to report.”
“Right.”
“Good night, darling.”
“Night, Max.”
Chapter 16
I finished the cognac in my room, but instead of passing out, I was more wired than ever. I had no clue what I was going to do next. My thoughts kept circling back to Max’s statement. I had to explore other options before I could decide if I wanted to become a family man. A sudden vision of Trent in a kilt, with his hair dyed a deep auburn, flashed in my brain, and I was appalled to feel my cock rising to the occasion. Why him of all people? I’d been surrounded by gorgeous men for the last five years and never been the least bit tempted. Now, all I could think of was Trent’s bare ass underneath a red and black plaid…. Jeez.
I slid off the bed and adjusted myself. I was not going to whack off to lurid images in my fevered brain. The kitchen and leftovers sounded like a better plan. I crept downstairs, doing my best to make as little noise as possible. In the fridge, I found a small container of ravioli I could reheat in the microwave. While I waited, my phone chimed, announcing an incoming e-mail. It was from Adachitokyo, my PI. I opened it, excited to finally hear from the man who was draining my bank account. On the subject line, he wrote GEISHA. What?
To: Sloandriscoll
From: Adachitokyo
My sources have confirmed Noriko Evans is third generation geisha. Grandmother Reiko and mother Hana top earners in Kyoto Gion-Kobu. Hiro Fujiwara on record as Reiko’s patron from 1941-1946. Is this all you need?
Who the hell was Hiro? And how could a geisha possibly be a virgin? Weren’t they whores in colorful outfits? What the fuck! Ken bought a prostitute to be the mother of his grandchildren? Had he lost his mind?
To: Adachitokyo
From: Sloandriscoll
More details on Noriko please. She claims to be virgin. Is she a full-fledged geisha? Please investigate further. Who is Hiro Fujiwara?
I hit send and pushed away the container of food. I’d lost my appetite big-time. Now I was even more convinced that Noriko was nothing but a gold digger and would destroy Cole’s life. Emotional blackmail was her game, and I’d be damned if I’d let it happen. I stood abruptly and knocked over the chair. It clattered on the tile floor, and I bent to pick it up as Trent walked in.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“You look pissed.”
“Ya think?”
“What happened?”
“None of your business,” I snapped.
“Hey, take it easy.”
I stopped fuming long enough to notice Trent was wearing lounging pants, which hung far too low on his hips. Great. His lightly furred chest was chiseled in all the right places, and my focus shifted to the love trail starting above his navel and disappearing underneath the waistband of his pants. My hard-on returned in full force.
Angry at myself for even noticing, I lashed out. “Leave me alone, will you?”
“Dude, stop being paranoid.”
“I’m not.”
Trent arched an eyebrow. “You’ve been in a bad mood since dinner. What’s your deal?”
“I asked you to mind your own business.”
“I’m only trying to help.”
“I don’t want or need your kind of help.” In retrospect, I’m amazed he stood there and didn’t hit me upside the head. I couldn’t have been more obnoxious.
“Knock on my bedroom door if you want to talk.”
“Don’t hold your breath, buddy.”
“We’re not all bad guys, you know?”
“Who’s we?”
“Dominants.”
“Oh, please… don’t start.”
“Just saying, Sloan. Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.” He fixed me with a penetrating gaze and damn if my cock didn’t react. My body was responding on a visceral level while my brain kept fighting an attraction that had come out of left field.
“I have tried it, Trent. With Max.”
“And didn’t he admit he got it wrong?” Trent inched closer. “Wouldn’t you like another chance? Second time’s the charm.”
“I’m in a committed relationship and have absolutely no interest in you or your second chance.”
“Then why am I getting so many mixed signals?”
“What are you talking about?” I said, backing into the refrigerator. I was trapped. When he was close enough, he reached for my face and held it between his hands. I didn’t realize how large they were until they spanned my entire head.
“Your mouth says no, but this,” he whispered, grinding his steel rod against mine, “is saying yes.”
“Stop it,” I said shakily. It was impossible to hide my erection in skinny jeans. He traced my lips with his tongue until my mouth parted and he slipped inside to explore. His taste was shockingly different from Cole’s, as was his technique, but hardly unpleasant. I couldn’t stop the whimper gusting out of my throat. “Please.”
“I do love that word,” he said huskily. “Say it again, Sloan.”
Reluctantly, I pushed him away and scampered over to the other side of the room. My cock throbbed and every cell in my body protested, but I remained resolute. “Stay away, Trent. I might be reacting, but it’s a physical thing I can’t control. My conscience knows better.”
“Go on, Sloan. Run away. Take all the time you need to realize this craving is mutual. I’ll be waiting for you.”
“I’m so out of here,” I mumbled, leaving him standing there with his boner tenting his pants and his dimple mocking me.
I knocked on Max’s bedroom door and walked in to find the room in complete darkness.
“What is it?” I heard him rumbling from somewhere to the right.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Get in bed.”
“What? I don’t want to get in bed with you.”
“I’m not getting up, so if you want to talk to me, lie down.”
I fel
t my way over to the empty side of the bed, toed off my sneakers, and slid in under the comforter. “This is beyond strange, Max.”
“Shut up and tell me what’s wrong. I need my six hours.”
“I can’t do the Brit shoot.”
“Yes, you can, and you will.”
“I had another run-in with Trent.”
“So? Deal with it.”
“It wasn’t that kind of run-in.”
“Oh?”
“Nothing happened.”
“But you wish it had, and you’re freaking out and wanting Uncle Max to fix it. I’m too old to give hand jobs.”
I kicked him in the thigh.
“Ouch!”
“I don’t need your hand job, thank you very much. I have my own hand, and it works fine.”
“Like I said,” Max huffed and put his arm over his eyes. “Deal with it.”
“You’re as comforting as a cold compress.”
“Damn it, Sloan.” Max sat up and shoved a couple of pillows up against the headboard. “I’m up and listening. Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I do. You’re horny and Trent’s pushing all your buttons.”
“Yeah,” I quavered. “How am I going to resist?”
Max laughed. He was laughing so hard he wheezed and tears were streaming down his cheeks.
“What is so bloody hilarious?”
Max grabbed me around my neck and hugged me tight. “You have no idea how attractive you are, Sloan. You’ve developed into a very sexy man and everyone wants to fuck you.”
“Shut up.”
“The best part about you is your humility.”
“What about it?”
“It’s great. You don’t think the sun rises and sets on your beautiful head, unlike ninety-five percent of the group, who can barely get their egos through the door.”
“So I’m not all bad?”
“On the contrary. People are attracted to you because, aside from your angelic eyes and luscious lips, you’re a really nice guy.”
“I guess I am. I would rather die than betray Cole.”
“This is where you need to separate sex and love. One has nothing to do with the other. You’re a normal, healthy adult male. You’re supposed to be perpetually horny.”
Vessel (Cutting Cords Series Book 2) Page 10