by Cameron Hart
“What does this all mean?” She asks, breaking the silence. “Us sleeping together, you taking care of me, of Lucas too. Are we, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”
I was thinking about all of this earlier, trying to come up with a way to talk to her about the precarious situation I’m in with the board. Unfortunately, inspiration never struck, so here I am, trying to scramble for words.
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked,” Luna mumbles, trying to roll away from me. I pull her in close, tucking her back into my side where she belongs.
“We’re together, baby girl, I already told you that. As for labels, honestly, boyfriend and girlfriend seems so… Trivial. But, I’m fine with whatever want us to be, as long as you’re mine and by my side.”
This earns me a small smile.
“You’re mine, too,” she adds.
“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head, steeling myself for this next part. “Our relationship will have… complications, though.” Luna stiffens in my arms. “Shit, I’m not saying this right. I just mean… I told you the board is breathing down my neck about running a tight ship and turning a profit. They want assurance that my brothers and I aren’t going to fuck up the company, which includes its public image as well.”
“So we have to keep our relationship a secret,” Luna says, her voice soft and full of disappointment. Fuck, that tears me up inside.
“I don’t want to hide, Luna. I’m not ashamed of you or of us. I just… this company is everything to me and my brothers. It’s our legacy.”
“I get it.”
“Luna…”
“It’s ok. I understand. I do.” She’s trying to put on a brave face, but I know I’ve hurt her.
“Just for a few months. I promise.”
“Ok, Declan.”
“Talk to me, hummingbird.”
“I’m kind of tired.” She yawns and rolls over, facing away from me.
I turn and wrap my arms around her, holding her close.
“Don’t leave me, Luna. Give me a chance, just hang in there for a few months and then I promise I’ll make it up to you. Please, baby, I need you.”
“I need you too,” she whispers so quietly I almost don’t hear her. I kiss the back of her neck and bury my face in her hair. I can’t help but think I just made a huge mistake.
Chapter 17
Luna
Lucas came home the next day and we’ve been settling into a new routine over the last few weeks. He’s currently in a study that includes combining two oral medications to target certain cancer cells. He gets acupuncture twice a week to deal with the aches and pains. During the work day, Lucas is at home doing school work while I’m at the office. Declan plays it cold with me, though he’s not nearly as harsh as he was before, and he always makes up for it at night.
We spend most weeknights at my place, cooking dinner and watching TV. Sometimes Declan picks up food or takes Lucas and I out. I spend weekends over at Declan’s, though I hardly ever stay the night.
Things are almost perfect, except I can’t get what he said out of my mind.
This company is everything to me.
I tried not to let it hurt, but fuck, I felt like my stomach turned to lead. I know I matter to him, and that he truly cares for Lucas and me. But I more than care about Declan. I love him. He’s my everything, and it pains me to know that I’m not the same for him. I can’t compete with his job, with his legacy, though I’m trying to understand. He’s been working his entire career to build up White Knight Advertising, and now he has the added pressure of living up to his deceased father’s expectations, as well as getting approval from the board. It’s a lot to take on, so I have to set aside my ridiculous notions of romance.
Declan left two days ago with his oldest brother, Asher, to visit an important potential client in LA. He doesn’t usually travel for work but landing this account would be what they need to hit the target to increase profits by 20%.
I have been able to work from home these last two days since Declan isn’t in the office. He still sends me updates on the potential account and has me organizing notes and listening in on conference calls, but it’s been a nice change of pace.
Today, however, I have to go in to the office to grab a few other client files and transfer some notes from my laptop to the company server. I shuffle in the office a little after nine. I didn’t see the point in scrambling to get here at eight since Declan isn’t here and it’s barely after six where he’s at on the West Coast anyway.
“And where have you been? Wandering off again without notice?” Tiffany greets me as I walk in from the elevator.
“Not that it’s any of your concern since you’re not my boss, but Declan said I could work from home while he’s away on his business trip.”
“Of course he did,” she scoffs. “You know, you can’t keep this up forever.”
I spin around and look at her square in the eyes, hoping to convey that I’m not going to let her mess with me.
“No need to be bitter, Tiff. You said I wouldn’t last long here, but it’s over two months later, and here I am, sequined pillows and all.”
“Yeah, because you’re fucking your boss,” she sneers.
I feel the color drain from my face at her words. Tiffany knows she has me on the ropes, try as I might to come up with a convincing protest that doesn’t sound whiny or overly defensive.
“I know all about you two,” she continues, taking a step towards me and crowding my space.
“I don’t know what you think you know—”
“Shut up, you slut,” she seethes. “I see the way you look at him, like you’re in love. But do you know he only looks at you as a man in lust? You’re just the flavor of the month.”
I don’t believe her, of course. Not for a second. Someone as cruel and vindictive as Tiffany could never understand the kind of relationship Declan and I share.
“There’s nothing happening between—”
Tiffany whips out her phone and scrolls through, hitting the screen a few seconds later.
“Jesus, Luna. You’re so fucking wet. You like being tied up in your boss’ office? You like when I spank you and make your pussy drip? Right here in the middle of the work day?”
I break out in a sweat, my heart pounding in my chest as all of the air drains from my lungs. It’s a recording of that day in Declan’s office. We haven’t done anything as reckless as that since, in fact, we’ve hardly been in the same room together since that day.
“How did…”
“I’m not a fucking idiot. When Declan told me to grab him a coffee from a coffee shop twenty minutes away while he had his little meeting with you, I set my phone on my desk and hit record. I hoped to maybe get a few screams out of you, but I got so much more. You like it dirty, huh? Do you sleep with all of your bosses? Or, wait, let me guess. You were a virgin when you let him fuck you.”
My face is burning, tears falling down my face in earnest now.
“Oh my god, you totally were. That’s so… perfect. God, you’re such an idiot,” Tiffany laughs cruelly.
I clear my throat and swallow down my absolute terror. I’m glad, not for the first time, that we work up front and that everyone else has offices farther back. Hopefully no one else can hear this exchange and I can somehow convince Tiffany to keep this between us.
“What do you want?” I ask, trying to sound tough, but failing miserably.
“I want you to quit. If you don’t, I’ll send this to the board and your precious Declan will lose everything. If you think he’ll choose you over his company, you’re even more of a fool that I thought.”
I try to remain strong, but she hit me right where it hurts. If I cost Declan his company, he’d never forgive me. He already said it was everything to him, and my feelings aside, there’s no way I could hurt him like that.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll quit.”
“Today. Right now. Go on, I wa
nt to watch you write an email to HR telling them you are quitting.”
I do as she says, though every word I type breaks my heart. I have to do this though. For Declan. He’s done so much for me already, more than I’ll ever be able to repay. I hit send and turn around to see Tiffany tearing down my dry erase board and pictures. She tosses them into a box and then yanks my lava lamp off of my desk, tipping it over and letting the contents spill all over the pink rug I have on the floor.
“Oops!” She says sarcastically.
Tiffany bends over and grabs the box of my stuff, walking over to the edge of my desk. In one swift motion, she sweeps her arm across the surface and dumps all of my colorful office supplies into the box, breaking a few more picture frames along the way.
“Here you go,” she says way too cheerfully, thrusting the box in my lap.
I have no words, nothing left to say, nothing to do that won’t possibly end in damage to Declan and his company. I walk back to the elevator on shaky legs.
✽✽✽
Lucas is at his acupuncture appointment, which I’m more than grateful for. I need some time to decompress, preferably curled up in my bed with a pint of ice cream and a side of cathartic crying.
By the time I get back to the apartment, I’m completely drained of energy. Looking at my phone, I see I have a text from Declan. Fear spikes my heart, but I realize it’s probably just his morning text, seeing how I’m doing. Even though he’s been away for a few days, he texts me all the time and we FaceTime every night. The thought of talking to him right now though is unbearably heartbreaking, so I shut off my phone and grab the pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia instead. Yeah, it’s only ten-thirty a.m., but I think I deserve this.
I must have dozed off, because the next thing I know, I’m startled out of my sleep by something trickling down my chest. Upon further inspection, I see the ice cream has melted and is now pouring down my shirt and onto my bedding. Awesome.
After cleaning up and throwing my sheets in the wash, I look at the clock. It’s just about two, which means Lucas should have been home hours ago. What the hell?
I turn on my phone to call Lucas and see I have a few texts and missed calls from Declan, five missed calls from Sarah who took Lucas to his appointment, and two missed calls from the hospital.
“Fuck!” I say into the void.
I call the hospital and try to get my breathing under control. Could this day get any worse? I banish that thought, not wanting to tempt the universe.
I punch in the required numbers in the hospital’s automated phone system and am finally directed to the emergency room.
“Come on, come on, pick up already,” I grumble impatiently.
“St. Joseph’s,” the lady on the other end of the line says almost as impatiently as I feel.
“Hi, I’m Luna Foster, my brother Lucas Foster was recently admitted?”
I hear typing and clicking and then she confirms. “Yes, he was brought in several hours ago for severe pain and dehydration. He’s in the ICU right now due to his diagnosis. The doctors are running tests.”
“Thank you, I’ll be right there,” I manage to squeak out before hanging up the phone and crumbling apart completely.
“Get it together, you can do this,” I tell myself over and over again. I feel overwhelmingly alone, much like the day Lucas first got his diagnosis. I wanted to tell mom about it and have her make it all better. Only this time, I want to tell Declan and have him hold me in his arms.
Not only is he not here, but he might not even want to be with me anymore once he finds out what a liability I am to him and his company. The thought of never seeing him again only adds to my despair, so I have to push that thought aside and once again suck it up so I can be there for Lucas. That’s what matters right now.
Twenty minutes later, I storm into the ICU and make my way to his room. Lucas looks pale with sunken eyes. It always shocks me how his health and appearance can change so drastically. Just this morning he was looking almost like his old self, albeit skinnier and a little more fragile.
“Hey,” I say quietly when he spots me at the door.
“Luna,” he breathes out. “I don’t know what happened…”
“Shh, it’s ok. Go back to sleep, ok?”
Once again I check his chart and the machines he’s hooked up to. He’s not doing great, but I try not to let my terror show on my face. Lucas closes his eyes and I slip out to find the doctor on call.
After half an hour of waiting, dr. Stanhope finally steps in.
“Luna,” he nods towards me and then begins studying Lucas’ chart.
“Give it to me straight, doc. What’s going on?”
“I always did like your tenacity, Luna. I think you’re going to need it.”
My stomach drops.
“Lucas has a tumor pressing on his lungs, the same one we were keeping an eye on these last few months. It’s rare for tumors to be this aggressive with lymphoma, but I think we need to operate on this as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, of course, whatever it takes,” I tell him, my voice steady as I push the fear and dread aside so my assertive big sister role can take center stage.
“I actually have an opening tomorrow morning at six-thirty.”
“Yes, we’ll take it.”
“You should know there are certain risks involved with surgeries like this…”
I listen while he lists of possible complications, but when he tells me again that his recommendation is for surgery, I don’t question it.
Dr. Stanhope leaves shortly after and I prepare for a long afternoon and evening standing vigil by Lucas’ bedside. I even turn on the TV and flip to the food network just in case Lucas wakes up.
Chapter 18
Declan
Luna hasn’t responded to me in over eight hours. She’s not online and she isn’t answering my texts or calls. I swear to Christ I’ll never forgive myself if something happened to her while I’m on this stupid fucking business trip.
Desperate for some modicum of control over this situation, I call Cooper.
“Declan! Are you enjoying Asher’s company?” Cooper says by way of greeting. Normally I’d give him some line and make fun of Asher with him, but I don’t have time for that shit, not while Luna could be hurt or in danger.
“Coop. I need you to check on Luna. Is she in the office? Did she come in today?”
“She’s your new assistant, right?”
“Yes,” I grit my teeth, hoping he doesn’t inquire any further.
There’s a pause on the other line, and I know he’s considering giving me shit. He must hear the seriousness in my tone, however, because he doesn’t press the issue.
“Alright. I’ll put you on hold and go check on your little assistant. You want me to have her call you if she’s there?”
“Take the phone with you. If she’s there, put her on.”
Again, he pauses, but then I hear him sigh and open his office door. A few moments later, I hear muffled voices, one of which belongs to Tiffany.
“Bro, she quit.”
“What?” I roar into the phone.
“Yeah, Tiff said she came in today and just… quit.”
What the hell happened? Why won’t she talk to me? Something is up and I hate that I’m across the country right now.
“I need you to go to her apartment, Coop,” I sigh, knowing this is totally going to blow our cover. I guess it doesn’t matter now if she quit on me. I don’t give a shit about any of that though, I just need to know she’s ok.
“Dude, are you going to tell me what’s going on? I heard she disappeared a few weeks ago and you just… let it slide. And now this?”
“Weren’t you just telling me not all that long ago that I needed to try and have some humanity and understanding?”
“I think we both know this goes beyond that,” he counters.
“I fucking love her, Coop.”
For the first time, possibly ever, Cooper has no respons
e.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I continue, hoping to make him understand my desperate need to check up on her. “But she… I don’t know. She makes me feel things. Protective. Possessive. Happy.”
More silence.
“Holy shit,” Cooper finally says. “You love her.”
“I know it looks bad, especially with the board—”
“Declan, who gives a fuck about that? You found love, which is kind of a miracle, but to have someone love your grumpy ass too? Unfuckingbelievable.”
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” I quip.
“Ah, but of course. I can’t wait to fall in love. I’m tired of playing the field.”
“Really?” This comes as a shock to me, but then I snap out of it. Now’s not the time for that conversation. “We can talk about it later, I just need you to check on her. I’m worried and I’m stuck here for another day.”
“Yeah, of course. I haven’t really had a chance to properly introduce myself to my future sister-in-law,” he chuckles.
I give him her address and hang up, feeling marginally better that Cooper took the news of Luna and I so well.
An hour later, I get a text from Cooper.
Not at her apartment. BTW, you gotta move your girl out of this shit hole.
I’d smile at his natural protective instinct, even over someone who isn’t technically family yet, but I’m too fucking pissed and worried and feeling out of control. I hate this. Everything about this.
Call St. Joseph’s. Her brother might be there.
A few minutes later, my phone rings.
“They won’t give me any information since I’m not family,” Cooper says.
“Fuck,” I growl, running my free hand through my hair.
“Hey, we’ll figure it out.”
“I hate this.”
Silence spreads over us, neither one sure what to do.
“I’ll be on the next flight,” I finally say.
“What are you going to tell Ash?”
“Fuck Asher.”