by Lian Hearn
She stayed by the water most of the day, eating only a little. The ladies of the household came to join her for a few hours, and they spoke of the beauty of the garden and the wedding arrangements. One of them had been to Hagi, and she described the city with admiration, telling Kaede some of the legends of the Otori clan, whispering of their ancient feud with the Tohan. They all expressed their joy that Kaede was to put an end to this feud, and told her how delighted Lord Iida was with the alliance.
Not knowing how to reply, and aware of the treachery beneath the wedding plans, Kaede sought refuge in shyness, smiled until her face ached, but hardly spoke.
She glanced away and saw Lord Iida in person crossing the garden, in the direction of the pavilion, accompanied by three or four of his retainers.
The ladies immediately fell silent. Kaede called to Shizuka, “I think I will go inside. My head aches.”
“I will comb out your hair and massage your head,” Shizuka said, and indeed the weight of her hair seemed intolerable to Kaede. Her body felt sticky and chafed beneath the robes. She longed for coolness, for night.
However, as they moved away from the pavilion, Lord Abe left the group of men and strode towards them. Shizuka immediately dropped to her knees, and Kaede bowed to him, though not as deeply.
“Lady Shirakawa,” he said, “Lord Iida wishes to speak to you.”
Trying to hide her reluctance, she returned to the pavilion, where Iida was already seated on the cushions. The women had withdrawn and were engaged in looking at the river.
Kaede knelt on the wooden floor, lowering her head to the ground, aware of his deep eyes, pools of molten iron, sweeping over her.
“You may sit up,” he said briefly. His voice was rough and the polite forms sat uneasily on his tongue. She felt the gaze of his men, the heavy silence that had become familiar to her, the mixture of lust and admiration.
“Shigeru is a lucky man,” Iida said, and she heard both threat and malice in the men’s laughter. She thought he would speak to her about the wedding or about her father, who had already sent messages to say he could not attend, due to his wife’s illness. His next words surprised her.
“I believe Arai is an old acquaintance of yours?”
“I knew him when he served Lord Noguchi,” she replied carefully.
“It was on your account that Noguchi exiled him,” Iida said. “Noguchi made a grave mistake, and he’s paid for it severely. Now it seems I’m going to have to deal with Arai on my own doorstep.” He sighed deeply. “Your marriage to Lord Otori comes at a very good time.”
Kaede thought, I am an ignorant girl, brought up by the Noguchi, loyal and stupid. I know nothing of the intrigues of the clans.
She made her face doll-like, her voice childish. “I only want to do what Lord Iida and my father want for me.”
“You heard nothing on your journey of Arai’s movements? Shigeru did not discuss them at any time?”
“I have heard nothing from Lord Arai since he left Lord Noguchi,” she replied.
“Yet, they say he was quite a champion of yours.”
She dared to look up at him through her eyelashes. “I cannot be held responsible for the way men feel about me, lord.”
Their eyes met for a moment. His look was penetrating, predatory. She felt he also desired her, like all the others, piqued and tantalized by the idea that involvement with her brought death.
Revulsion rose in her throat. She thought of the needle concealed in her sleeve, imagined sliding it into his flesh.
“No,” he agreed, “nor can we blame any man for admiring you.” He spoke over his shoulder to Abe: “You were right. She is exquisite.” It was as if he spoke of an inanimate piece of art. “You were going inside? Don’t let me detain you. I believe your health is delicate.”
“Lord Iida.” She bowed to the ground again and shuffled backwards to the edge of the pavilion. Shizuka helped her to her feet and they walked away.
Neither of them spoke until they were back in the room. Then Kaede whispered, “He knows everything.”
“No,” Shizuka said, taking up the comb and beginning to work on Kaede’s hair. “He is not sure. He has no proof of anything. You did well.” Her fingers massaged Kaede’s scalp and temples. Some of the tension began to ease. Kaede leaned back against her. “I would like to go to Hagi. Will you come with me?”
“If that comes to pass, you won’t need me,” Shizuka replied, smiling.
“I think I will always need you,” Kaede said. A wistful note crept into her voice. “Maybe I would be happy with Lord Shigeru. If I hadn’t met Takeo, if he did not love—”
“Shush, shush.” Shizuka sighed, her fingers working and stroking.
“We might have had children,” Kaede went on, her voice dreamy and slow. “None of that is going to happen now, yet I must pretend it will.”
“We are on the brink of war,” Shizuka whispered. “We do not know what will happen in the next few days, let alone the future.”
“Where would Lord Takeo be now? Do you know?”
“If he is still in the capital, in one of the secret houses of the Tribe. But they may have already moved him out of the fief.”
“Will I ever see him again?” Kaede said, but she didn’t expect an answer, nor did Shizuka give one. Her fingers worked on. Beyond the open doors, the garden shimmered in the heat, the crickets more strident than ever.
Slowly the day faded and the shadows began to lengthen.
· 11 ·
was unconscious for a few moments only. When I came round I was in the dark, and guessed at once I was inside the cart. There were at least two people inside with me. One, I could tell from his breathing, was Kenji, the other, from her perfume, one of the girls. They were pinioning me, one arm each.
I felt terribly sick, as though I’d been hit on the head. The movement of the cart didn’t help.
“I’m going to vomit,” I said, and Kenji let go of one arm. The sickness half-rose in my throat as I sat up. I realized the girl had let go of my other arm. I forgot about vomiting in my desperate desire to escape. I threw myself, arms across my head, at the hinged opening of the cart.
It was firmly fastened from the outside. I felt the skin on one hand tear against a nail. Kenji and the girl grabbed me, forcing me down as I struggled and thrashed. Someone outside called out, a sharp angry warning.
Kenji swore at me. “Shut up! Lie still! If the Tohan find you now, you’re dead!”
But I had gone beyond reason. When I was a boy I used to bring wild animals home, fox cubs, stoats, baby rabbits. I could never tame them. All they wanted, blindly, irrationally, was to escape. I thought of that blind rush now. Nothing mattered to me except that Shigeru should not believe I had betrayed him. I would never stay with the Tribe. They would never be able to keep me.
“Shut him up,” Kenji whispered to the girl as he struggled to hold me still, and under her hands the world went sickening and black again.
The next time I came around I truly believed I was dead and in the underworld. I could not see or hear. It was pitch-dark and everything had gone completely silent. Then feeling began to return. I hurt too much all over to be dead. My throat was raw, one hand throbbed, the other wrist ached where it had been bent backwards. I tried to sit up, but I was tied up in some way, loosely with soft bindings, just enough to restrain me. I turned my head, shaking it. There was a blindfold across my eyes, but it was being deafened that seemed the worst thing. After a few moments I realized that my ears had been plugged with something. I felt a surge of relief that I had not lost my hearing.
A hand against my face made me jump. The blindfold was removed and I saw Kenji kneeling beside me. An oil lamp burned on the floor next to him, lighting his face. I thought fleetingly how dangerous he was. Once he had sworn to protect me with his life. The last thing I wanted now was his protection.
His mouth moved as he spoke.
“I can’t hear anything,” I said. “Take the plugs out.”
/>
He did so, and my world returned to me. I stayed without speaking for a few moments, placing myself in it again. I could hear the river in the distance: So I was still in Inuyama. The house I was in was silent, everyone sleeping except guards. I could hear them whispering inside the gate. I guessed it was late at night, and at that moment heard the midnight bell from a distant temple.
I should have been inside the castle now.
“I’m sorry we hurt you,” Kenji said. “You didn’t need to struggle so much.”
I could feel the bitter rage about to erupt inside me again. I tried to control it. “Where am I?”
“In one of the Tribe houses. We’ll move you out of the capital in a day or two.”
His calm, matter-of-fact voice infuriated me further. “You said you would never betray him, the night of my adoption. Do you remember?”
Kenji sighed. “We both spoke that night of conflicting obligations. Shigeru knows I serve the Tribe first. I warned him then, and often since, that the Tribe has a prior claim to you, and that sooner or later it would make it.”
“Why now?” I said bitterly. “You could have left me for one more night.”
“Maybe I personally would have given you that chance. But the incident at Yamagata pushed things beyond my control. Anyway, you would be dead by now, and no use to anyone.”
“I could have killed Iida first,” I muttered.
“That outcome was considered,” Kenji said, “and judged not to be in the best interests of the Tribe.”
“I suppose most of you work for him?”
“We work for whoever pays us best. We like a stable society. Open warfare makes it hard to operate. Iida’s rule is harsh but stable. It suits us.”
“You were deceiving Shigeru all the time, then?”
“As no doubt he has often deceived me.” Kenji was silent for a good minute, and then went on, “Shigeru was doomed from the start. Too many powerful people want to get rid of him. He has played well to survive this far.”
A chill came over me. “He must not die,” I whispered.
“Iida will certainly seize on some pretext to kill him,” Kenji said mildly. “He has become far too dangerous to be allowed to live. Quite apart from the fact that he offended Iida personally—the affair with Lady Maruyama, your adoption—the scenes at Yamagata alarmed the Tohan profoundly.” The lamp flickered and smoked. Kenji added quietly, “The problem with Shigeru is, people love him.”
“We can’t abandon him! Let me go back to him.”
“It’s not my decision,” Kenji replied. “Even if it were, I could not do it now. Iida knows you are from the Hidden. He would hand you over to Ando as he promised. Shigeru, no doubt, will have a warrior’s death, swift, honorable. You would be tortured: You know what they do.”
I was silent. My head ached, and an unbearable sense of failure was creeping over me. Everything in me had been aimed like a spear at one target. Now the hand that had held me had been removed and I had fallen, useless, to the earth.
“Give up, Takeo,” Kenji said, watching my face. “It’s over.”
I nodded slowly. I might as well pretend to agree. “I’m terribly thirsty.”
“I’ll make some tea. It will help you sleep. Do you want anything to eat?”
“No. Can you untie me?”
“Not tonight,” Kenji replied.
I thought about that while I was drifting in and out of sleep, trying to find a comfortable position to lie in with my hands and feet tied. I decided it meant Kenji thought I could escape, once I was untied, and if my teacher thought I could, then it was probably true. It was the only comforting thought I had, and it did not console me for long.
Towards dawn it began raining. I listened to the gutters filling, the eaves dripping. Then the cocks began to crow and the town woke. I heard the servants stirring in the house, smelled smoke as fires were lit in the kitchen. I listened to the voices and the footsteps, and counted them, mapping the layout of the house, where it stood in the street, what was on either side. From the smells and the sounds as work began I guessed I was hidden within a brewery, one of the big merchant houses on the edge of the castle town. The room I was in had no exterior windows. It was as narrow as an eel’s bed and remained dark even long after sunrise.
The wedding was to be held the day after tomorrow. Would Shigeru survive till then? And if he was murdered before, what would happen to Kaede? My thoughts tormented me. How would Shigeru spend these next two days? What was he doing now? What was he thinking of me? The idea that he might imagine I had run away of my own free will was agony to me. And what would be the opinion of the Otori men? They would despise me.
I called to Kenji that I needed to use the privy. He untied my feet and took me there. We stepped out of the small room into a larger one, and then downstairs into the rear courtyard. A maid came with a bowl of water and helped me wash my hands. There was a lot of blood on me, more than seemed likely from the one cut from the nail. I must have done some damage with my knife to someone. I wondered where the knife was now.
When we went back into the secret room Kenji left my feet untied.
“What happens next?” I asked.
“Try and sleep longer. Nothing will happen today.”
“Sleep! I feel as if I will never sleep again!”
Kenji studied me for a moment and then said briefly, “It will all pass.”
If my hands had been free, I would have killed him. I leaped at him as I was, swinging my bound hands to catch him in the side. I took him by surprise, and we both went flying, but he turned beneath me as quick as a snake and pinioned me to the ground. If I was enraged, so now was he. I’d seen him exasperated with me before, but now he was furious. He struck me twice across the face, real blows that shook my teeth and left me dizzy.
“Give up!” he shouted. “I’ll beat you into it if I have to. Is that what you want?”
“Yes!” I shouted back. “Go ahead and kill me. It’s the only way you’ll keep me here!”
I arched my back and rolled sideways, getting rid of his weight, trying to kick and bite. He struck me again, but I got away from him and, swearing at him in rage, flung myself against him.
I heard rapid steps outside, and the doors slid open. The girl from Yamagata and one of the young men ran into the room. The three of them subdued me eventually, but I was more than half-mad with fury, and it took a while before they could tie my feet again.
Kenji was seething with anger. The girl and the young man looked from me to him and back again. “Master,” the girl said, “leave him with us. We’ll watch him for a while. You need some rest.” Clearly they were astonished and shocked by his loss of control.
We had been together for months as master and pupil. He had taught me almost everything I knew. I had obeyed him without question, had put up with his nagging, his sarcasm, and his chastisements. I had put aside my initial suspicions and had come to trust him. All that was shattered as far as I was concerned, and would never be restored.
Now he knelt in front of me, seized my head, and forced me to look at him. “I’m trying to save your life!” he shouted. “Can’t you get that into your thick skull?”
I spat at him and braced myself for another blow, but the young man restrained him.
“Go, master,” he urged him.
Kenji let go of me and stood up. “What stubborn, crazy blood did you get from your mother?” he demanded. When he reached the door he turned and said, “Watch him all the time. Don’t untie him.”
When he had gone I wanted to scream and sob like a child in a tantrum. Tears of rage and despair pricked my eyelids. I lay back on the mattress, face turned towards the wall.
The girl left the room shortly after and came back with cold water and a cloth. She made me sit up and wiped my face. My lip was split, and I could feel the bruising around one eye and across the cheekbone. Her gentleness made me feel she had a certain sympathy towards me, though she said nothing.
The youn
g man watched without speaking, either.
Later she brought tea and some food. I drank the tea but refused to eat anything.
“Where’s my knife?” I said.
“We have it,” she replied.
“Did I cut you?”
“No, that was Keiko. Both she and Akio were wounded on the hand, but not too badly.”
“I wish I had killed you all.”
“I know,” she replied. “No one can say that you didn’t fight. But you had five members of the Tribe against you. There is no shame.”
Shame, however, was what I felt seeping through me as though it stained my white bones black.
The long day passed, oppressive and slow. The evening bell had just rung from the temple at the end of the street when Keiko came to the door and spoke in a whisper to my two guards. I could hear what she said perfectly well, though out of habit I pretended not to. Someone had come to see me, someone called Kikuta.
A few minutes later a lean man of medium height stepped into the room, followed by Kenji. There was a similarity between them, the same shifting look that made them unremarkable. This man’s skin was darker, closer to my own in color. His hair was still black, although he must have been nearly forty years old.
He stood and looked at me for a few moments, then crossed the room, knelt beside me, and, as Kenji had the first time he met me, took my hands and turned them palms up.
“Why is he tied up?” he said. His voice was unremarkable, too, though the intonation was northern.
“He tries to escape, master,” the girl said. “He is calmer now, but he has been very wild.”
“Why do you want to escape?” he asked me. “You are finally where you belong.”
“I don’t belong here,” I replied. “Before I had even heard of the Tribe, I swore allegiance to Lord Otori. I am legally adopted into the Otori clan.”
“Unnh,” he grunted. “The Otori call you Takeo, I hear. What is your real name?”
I did not reply.
“He was raised among the Hidden,” Kenji said quietly. “The name he was given at birth was Tomasu.”