by Tyla Walker
By way of returning the favor to Silva, I cheer him up, so he can tell the story.
“Let’s hear it, Silva. I always enjoy a good story. Besides, when your grandfather tells the story, it takes ages. I have to intervene so that we can finish his story.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want. When my team is on duty…”
Silva continues with his story, but I understand maybe half of it. Most of the time, I just stare at him, remembering that boy who once dreamed of becoming a military man. He is one now.
I’m proud of what you have become, Silva. I really am.
Ten
Silva
I continue upping up my game to get Cassy’s heart. Now that I found her, I won’t waste this chance to let her go again. I keep showing up to the hospital and order her favorite foods for her and her colleagues.
I keep giving her flowers every day, too, and I insist on her to let me drive her home at night. Even though she always declines me, at least she softens up a little to me. Isn’t this perfect for my grandfather?
My grandpa still likes her for me. He keeps bugging me about it, and I’m only too happy to oblige. I look at my wristwatch and see that it’s quarter past eleven in the evening now. I sit by the bench outside the hospital as I gaze at the exit.
I sigh as I try to combat my drowsiness. Damn it, I don’t want to fall asleep. I guess I’m really tired because of these past few days.
Cassy’s not out yet from their quarters while she changes clothes. One of Cassy’s colleagues, who is also waiting for them and sitting beside me, talks about us.
She says, “You know, Silva. We like you the moment you ask for Cass’s well-being.”
“Your determination and patience for always waiting for her every night. Asking her permission to drive her home after her shift ends, giving her flowers, and treating us every day will soften her heart someday. You two look good together,” she adds.
It’s so good to hear that Cassy’s colleagues like me and my efforts of wooing her. Even though she warms up a little, I’m still conflicted about why she’s still avoiding and refusing me. She comes out of their quarters, and her colleagues look at her.
Then they make eye contact with each other. They look like they’re having telepathy reading each other’s minds.
“Cass, we need to go now.” One of her friends’ excuses for leaving.
“Thanks, Silva, for the food!” The other one thanks me.
“Let’s go, guys! Let’s give them space to have a good time.” And they agreed with each other.
“Wait, guys! Why are you leaving me out alone?” Cassandra tries to catch up with them, but they’re really fast.
Her friends only giggle at her.
“Silva’s with you, and you’re in good hands, girl,” her closest friend shouts and waves at us.
“See you tomorrow, Cass. You too, Silva.” each of them says, and they left us two alone.
Cassy’s going away, but I block her way out.
“Wait, we need to talk.” I want to clear things out of our relationship, but she looks unwilling to do so.
“What do you want to talk about?” she asks.
“Why are you always avoiding me like the plague? I won’t stop until you tell me why are you doing this to me?”
“When did I avoid you?”
“If I’m avoiding you, I will not be talking to you right now,” she denies.
I take a step forward, and she takes a step back until I corner her.
I push her on the wall and cage her with my two arms. Her eyes were open-wide, looking at me.
“Can you please tell that to me again while looking me in the eye,” I urge her to look at me without avoiding my gaze.
She looks at me and says, “I... am... not... avoiding y..”
I don’t let her finish; I capture her lips with mine.
She didn’t see it coming when I gave her a deep kiss on her lips. I close my eyes since I don’t want to see the disapproval on her face. She tries to push me away, but I grasp her nape and intertwine my left arm to her hourglass waist.
And I pull her lower body closer to me and let her feel my pulsating cock between my legs. Pressing my hard frame to her petite body on the wall, not giving her a chance to escape from my embrace.
She seems reluctant at first, but eventually, her lips and tongue synchronize to my lips while she grabs my head.
She returns the favor by licking my mouth with her tongue. We part lips as we both catch our breath. She looks at me, not with disgust but with desire in her eyes. I can feel a burning sensation on my lips, and my heartbeat faster than before.
“You want to know why I’m avoiding you?” her eyes moisten with tears.
“Because you’re too good for me, Silva. I’m not... not meant for you, and I already have a child,” she adds and cries in my arms.
It breaks my heart when the woman I love is crying, small and helpless. As she cries, I instinctively embrace her tighter in my arms and console her.
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry.” She cries.
“No, I’m sorry too that I kissed you without asking permission. I will still pursue and court you until you accept me again. It doesn’t matter what you think of me, or how many times you refuse me, or get mad at me. I will still love you and never let you go.”
As I declare my declaration of love for her, she keeps crying. Her tears gush out like a river.
I free her from my arms and say to her, “Just give me a chance, Cassy for old time’s sake, please.”
As she wipes her tears, she sobs a little and takes a deep breath. And tells me, “Fine, I know that you will not stop chasing me if I keep avoiding you. But let’s take it slow and start over again.”
I can’t believe what I’ve heard from her, and in my joy, I kiss her again. And this time, she’s pleased to accept it. No, I’m wrong. It is me that she accepted.
But I’m jolted awake by someone. I look up, and they are Cassandra’s friends.
“I’m sorry, but she returned home already,” the person says to me and leaves immediately. Damn it! I was only dreaming of her while waiting. What really happened is that I didn’t see her today. Her colleagues told me that she already left home.
I bit my lower lip in frustration. No, I won’t give up.
Eleven
Cassandra
I am still in love with him, this I’m sure of. My heart aches for him, and more than ever, I am more attracted to him.
He is my first love, after all. Nobody ever forgets their first, do they? But I know this is not right. What we have is already close. Our chapter is over.
And yet he has been consistent ever since we have seen each other again. He never fails to show how much he still loves me. There’s never a time when he never lets me feel how special I am to him, too.
Damn, he’s so fucking good that it scares me.
It’s my day off, and I’m alone at home. Silver had a boot camp for weeks now. He was pretty excited about it but felt scared because it was going to be the first time that we would be away from each other.
The night before they had to leave for the camp, he went to my room and asked if he could sleep with me.
I remember the first time he went to school, too. He asked me if he could have his own room. His exact words were, “I’m a big boy now, Mom. I think I need my own room.”
Back then, I found it so cute and adorable. But I also feel anxious.
He is really a big boy now, isn’t he? Time flies so fast. It’s as if breaking up with Silva happened yesterday.
We sleep beside each other, but we never really sleep right away. He has a lot of stories to tell me that we end up staying up all night talking about everything that happens in his school, his friends, and his teachers. I’m just proud of him.
And my heart cries for joy because he’s growing up well and healthy.
Growing up without a father is something I have never experienced, so I don’t know how I will deal wit
h Silver before. Whenever he asks me where his father is, I’ll just tell him at that time that he is abroad.
It’s the same excuse I use for the parents of Silver’s classmates whenever they ask the question.
Right now, he knows how to deal with it that I feel so blessed to have him as a child. Recalling all those memories we have when he was still a baby makes me miss my little boy. I hope he really enjoys his camp.
The next day, I get up early to prepare for work. I will have to face Lukas again. Although by now, I think I have gotten used to his antics already. And I have learned to love the stories he tells about Silva.
When I arrive at the hospital, pink camellias are already waiting for me. Even though I get them every single day, I still feel butterflies in my stomach. And a smile escapes my lips when I smell them.
“Gotcha.”
Jamie catches me, smelling the flowers Silva sent. I will get a lot of teasing from this. I’m pretty sure by that look on her face.
“You’re smiling, Cass. Don’t deny it. See? You can’t resist Mr. Soldier Grey’s charm.”
“Whatever Jamie. I just smell them. I don’t see anything wrong with it.” I put the flowers back.
I hide in the pretense that it’s not the person who convinces me to smell the flower, but it’s the flower themselves. I have to stay with my decision, no matter what.
I walk out and leave Jamie thinking. I know she’s sensing something, but I can’t give away my feelings yet. Even if I love Silva,
I don’t think it’s right that we will continue what we have back then.
I know eight years is a long time, but I guess when you love someone, time can never erase the feelings you have for them. Silva still has the same effect on me.
I remember the time when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I couldn’t say no to him. He hypnotized me with his eyes full of passion and emotion.
I am on my way to Lukas’ room, and I see Silva outside. When I reach the door, he asks me if I can spare him a minute.
He just doesn’t stop pursuing me, does he? I guess this is really his character.
“Cassy, you know I’m a very patient guy. But I really do not understand why you are avoiding me. I know that what happened between us that night is hard to forget. But it has been eight years, Cass. Let’s start anew.”
Silva’s sincerity is written all over his face, and I can’t stop myself from feeling all those emotions again. I still love him, but do I really take this risk and give him a chance?
Damn it, I feel guilty. Why is Silva the one asking me when I’m the one that left him?
My heart betrays me, and I say yes to him.
“Yes? Like is that you’ll- give- me- a-chance yes?”
He asks again. I have been ignoring him and have been turning him down, saying yes seems impossible.
“Yes, Silva. It’s a yes, I’m giving you a chance... but only now.”
His happiness is undeniable. He is so happy that he is about to hug me, but hesitates after a moment.
Maybe that’s good, though. I don’t know how I will react if Silva does. I may be strong, but my heart will betray me for this man.
He then asks me if he can hug me. I’m hesitant. A part of me says that I must not give in. It might spark that love I have for him, and it will become unstoppable. But another part of me convinces me to just let him hug me.
And how can I not give him that? He even asks permission to do so. I just can’t flat right say ignore it. So I let him hug me. And it feels good to be in his arms again.
“Let’s have dinner tomorrow, Cass. Will you be okay with that?”
I guess there’s nothing wrong with it. I can’t just ignore Silva for the rest of my life. And maybe this can give me that opportunity to just tell him that we can’t really be together.
“Yes, dinner is fine.”
I can’t stop smiling then. Silva’s smile is infectious. It feels like we’re back in the past.
Is this the right thing? Is giving him a chance worth taking the risk?
Twelve
Silva
The next day, I’m waiting for Cassy, we’re having dinner in one of the well-known restaurants we owned. This is where I’ve ordered the food for Cassy and her colleagues.
The place has an elegant and luxurious ambiance, with crystal chandeliers from high-ceiling to candle-lit tables and a pianist playing the piano to complement the setting.
All elite, high-profile clients we have are wearing expensive dresses and suits, all in class with glamour and pride. I’ve reserved a private lounge and a table for the two of us. It’s far from the main hall of the restaurant so we can have our privacy.
I’m fidgeting in my seat, a bit nervous. What if Cassandra won’t show up today?
I can’t wait to see her today, so I sip on my wine to quench my thirst and to calm my wavering heart. She texted me earlier that she was on her way, and she would be here in a few minutes.
I fix my tie and suit, straightening and cleaning the imaginary dust on it. I’m sweating, and the wait is making me... I sigh.
I see some people looking at someone. I turn to what they’re staring at, and I see Cassandra, looking in different directions. She’s wearing the black dress I ordered for her.
The tight dress tightly clings into her voluptuous body. Which attracts the attention of some men sitting from the other table with their dates madly looking at her.
She looks classy and sexy at the same time. I walk towards her, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
“Cassy, you arrive,” I say to her while looking at her amazing figure.
“Thanks for inviting me, Silva. I hope I’m not too late for our dinner?”
“Not at all.” I smile at her and offer her my left arm. She interlaces it with mine, and we both walk to our table. I’ve ordered all of her favorite dishes.
“You’re so gorgeous, Cassy,” I compliment her. So gorgeous that she leaves me speechless like a teenager.
“Oh! Thanks, Silva. You too, you look handsome in a suit,” she says and giggles. We look at each other, and I feel a bit awkward.
And I don’t know how to start the conversation, but she breaks the silence and asks me, “Are you doing good in the navy?
“I’m doing fine. How about you? I didn’t expect that you’ll be a nurse after eight years?”
She coyly smiles and replies to my answer, “Well, I never expected that I’ll meet you again. I guess life is like this.”
She sounds sad, yet she looks at me with longing in her eyes. Then she blinks it away. The waiter interrupts us and puts the food on the table.
“Please enjoy your dinner.”
“Thank you.” We both say thank you to the waiter, and he left us. We start having our dinner despite the tension between us. It’s not helping that people are looking our way like we’re some celebrities.
Cassy talks first, “What do you do in the navy?”
“I’m the captain of my squad, and I’m in the list for promotion next month,” I answer. She looks amazed at how high my rank is, and she asks me more questions.
“You went to Asia for a mission, you didn’t get hurt, right?” There’s a tinge of worry in her voice.
“No, I got hurt, but not that bad.” I want to ask her about her son, but I stop myself asking her. I know that I’m going to meet him someday, and I’m willing to accept him as my son with open arms, even if he’s not my flesh and blood. I’ll just wait patiently for Cassy to open up.
I tell her my ten key mission stories around Asia. Passing by in the Pacific ocean to Hawaii until going back to New York when I received the news about my grandfather.
She seems interested in my stories, and I tell her one of my adventures in Cambodia.
“You know, we chased high-profile terrorists hiding in Beng Mealea ruins in Cambodia. We got lost in the maze-like forest and almost got killed by the terrorists,” I animatedly say.
“But thanks to the bushy forest with slipper
y moss on the ground, we escaped death when my troops and I slipped down on a slope that goes down to the river. I even got a lump on my head when I got slammed on a tree branch.”
It sounds silly, but it’s the real truth. Lady luck was on my side at that time. I tell her more about it.
She laughs at my funny adventures.
“Then, we subdued the terrorist hideout at night and captured them alive. That was my last adventure in Asia. Maybe you’ll go there someday, and enjoy the place,” I tell her.
I hope with me.
“You’re right, I’ll think about it.” Cassandra smiles at me, her eyes full of glitter, and it makes me want to see what’s in her soul.
“So, how about you?” I ask her. Well, I have so many questions I doubt this dinner will be enough.
“Well, as you can see...” I listen to her attentively as she tells me about what she does as a nurse. Cassandra’s voice makes me think of the sound of angels. It’s music to my ears.
I hope she can talk to me this way for a very long, long time.
Thirteen
Cassandra
I am surprised that I have enjoyed the dinner with Silva more than I expected. Now I know why I said yes to him when he first asked me to be his girlfriend in high school.
It has always been his sincerity and affection towards the people who he treasures the most, which makes it hard not to love him.
We get out of the restaurant, and I am about to hail a cab when he grabs my hand. I know he will want to take me home. That’s just who Silva is. But I can’t let him.
Silver’s probably home by now, and who knows what will happen. My son might go out and meet me, and Silva will see him. When that happens, there’s no denying that Silver is his son. After all, Silver is an exact copy of Silva.
“Just what do you think you’re doing, Cass? Do you really think I’ll just let you go home in a cab?”