by S. Nelson
He was as much a victim as I was, more so in a sense because if he tried to leave the Savage Reapers, they’d kill his mom and his sister before ending his life. I found out this information during the rare times we’d been alone. I was grateful I didn’t have any more family left, so if they wanted to kill me, I could handle it.
I say that now because I’m still breathing.
As I exited the kitchen after tossing the full garbage bag on top of the waste bin, I heard Griller shout from down the hallway.
“Let’s fuckin’ go, woman!” He knew my name but never used it, a small win I was grateful for. In fact, the only person to call me Maddie was Pike, which I was fine with. There was no malice toward me from him like there was from the rest of the club.
I supposed I took too long because he rushed out of the room and snatched my arm, his fingers pinching my skin as he dragged me behind him, tossing me into the middle of his room.
His nakedness was a blatant clue as to what he wanted from me. And no matter how often he invaded my body, each time was terrifying. He’d forced himself into my mouth, between my legs and even in the place that was forbidden and shameful.
The first time he sodomized me, I cried harder than I ever had in my life, not only from the pain but from loathsomeness, and utter embarrassment. At one point, because I wouldn’t shut up or stop trying to get away from him, he choked me until I passed out. When I woke up, I was alone in his room, still facedown on his bed. I ached all over but had been thankful not to have been conscious during the rape. The next time he forced himself there, I hadn’t been as lucky, remembering every painful detail as well as his devilish grunts.
Griller gripped my arms and shook me. “Take off your clothes,” he demanded, leering at me while he waited for me to do as I was told.
I never understood why he chose to mar his neck and face with tattoos of skulls and daggers. Then again, the ugliness of them matched perfectly with the ugliness of his insides as well as his exterior. He was thin with a receding hairline, the rest of his dark strands cropped close to his head. Sometimes I wished he’d grow a beard, so I didn’t have to see so much of his face.
Typically, he was either drunk or high, but right now, his eyes were blank, absent, which terrified me even more.
I put my hands up in front of me and took a few steps back. Why? I had no idea because no amount of distance or silent pleading would make a bit of difference. The result would always be me doing exactly what he wanted.
“I don’t feel good,” I said, praying he would leave me alone, but my words fell on deaf ears.
“So?” The corner of his lip curved up, but I wasn’t dumb enough to think he smiled. No, it was a sneer. A dangerous grin.
“I was hoping maybe I could lie down and rest for a bit.” Every word I spoke was wasted, and even so, I continued. “Please.” I retreated until my back hit the wall, the sudden stop startling me because I couldn’t focus on anything but Griller and the terrifying look in his black eyes.
“When have I ever cared how you felt?” he asked, cocking his head slightly to the side, his eyes lecherously roaming over me. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if you don’t get your ass on the bed in two seconds, you’re gonna regret it.”
I would’ve liked to have said I stayed put and that my noncompliance annoyed him, so much so he left the room. But that outcome didn’t happen. Instead of testing his lack of patience, I moved forward until I stood in front of the mattress, stripping off my clothes before he got the chance to do it, which would’ve made him angrier.
Lying down on my belly, I buried my face in the dingy colored pillowcase, the smell of smoke and beer pungent, but inhaling the scent was better than facing him. He’d only forced himself on me once while looking at me. Every other time, he was behind me, which meant I didn’t have to watch him as he violated me.
He smacked the back of my leg. I parted my thighs and waited for the pain. Because my body wasn’t ready to accept him, every inch he thrust into me sent a shockwave of pain rippling through me. But once he was fully inside, the pain subsided some.
The entire time he grunted, my mind drifted away, but unlike previous times when I’d been able to conjure a safe place, a man I’d seen several times before drifted in.
His warm brown eyes were filled with concern when they landed on mine, and although he’d never spoken to me directly, he’d asked about me, had even gotten into a fight with Griller because of me.
Why couldn’t I have met him instead of Pike? Would he have mistreated me as well? Did he only ask about me because he wanted to enjoy my body, or was he genuinely concerned for my well-being?
While I didn’t know anything about him, other than he belonged to a different club, there was something about the way he looked at me that made my heart stutter, but in a good way.
Perhaps I was simply conjuring feelings that didn’t exist because fantasy and delusion were better than my actuality. Even so, I looked forward to the next time I’d see him. But after the last brawl between their clubs, I wasn’t sure whether Griller would take me along to the fights any longer. I was surprised he let me outside at all, let alone around a bunch of strangers. He threatened to kill me if I ever attempted to escape and I believed him, so I never tried.
He climbed off when he finished. He never lasted long, which was a blessing. The clink of his belt buckle made me flinch, but then I heard his zipper and realized he wasn’t gonna use his belt on me this time.
“I’m tired of you,” he said nonchalantly, kicking the side of my leg with his. “Get up.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the bed, leaning in so close the tip of his nose touched mine. “I won’t be fuckin’ you anymore.” For a moment, my heart burst with elation, but it wasn’t to last. His next words slammed into me, shredding any hope I held that I wouldn’t suffer any more abuse. “I’m givin’ you to Dutch.”
“Please… no.” My body shook in fear. “I’ll do anything.” I reached for his arm when he turned to walk away. The second I touched him, I realized my mistake, but I had to try to convince him not to give me away. For as bad as Griller was, Dutch was worse. I’d seen what he’d done to the women he’d been with. They left with not only bruises but scars. He liked to use knives on them, and while Griller had broken my wrist, punched, kicked, and raped me, he was still better than Dutch.
The man before me was the devil I knew.
He rushed toward me, knocking me to the ground with a swift backhand. “You wanna stay with me?” he asked, leaning over me, kicking me when I took too long to answer.
“Y-yes,” I cried, clutching the side of my face and scurrying back as far as I could, fearful he’d kick me again.
“What are you willing to do for me if I keep you?”
I looked up into his hateful eyes. “Anything.”
“You already do anything I want.” He shrugged. “Nah… I think Dutch will enjoy you from now on. Besides, he’ll owe me big for the favor. But don’t worry, he won’t be back from Mexico until tomorrow, so you’ll only have to deal with some of the other brothers until then.”
I parted my lips to beg him to reconsider, but he walked out of the bedroom before I could utter a single word.
Closing my eyes, I said a silent prayer to a God I wasn’t even sure existed anymore.
Please end my life before anyone else can.
6
“I still can’t wrap my head around what the hell is goin’ on, man,” I uttered, following Kaden up the front steps to his porch. After Cutter told us to leave the basement, we decided the only place we could go to hash shit out was back to his place. Some of the guys may have gone back to the clubhouse, but Kaden and I needed to attempt to wrap our heads around the debacle with Tag before we talked to anyone else again.
After we entered his house, he headed straight for the kitchen to grab two beers. I made myself comfortable on his couch, glancing around and wishing I had a place of my own for once. Before tonight, I’d been perfec
tly content living at home, but discovering my ol’ man seemed perfectly fine with ending someone’s life put a damper on wanting to live under his roof.
I tried not to judge my father, Marek, or any of the other guys in the club, but it was hard not to after witnessing what I had a couple hours ago.
Granted, Kaden and I didn’t understand the severity of life in the club from decades ago, but whatever happened between us and the Reapers had ended when we were babies, so why were they still acting like we were at war with them?
The coldness of the bottle Kaden thrust into my hand brought me back from my wandering thoughts. He sat at the other end of the couch, propping his feet up on the edge of his coffee table.
“What the fuck?” was all he said, before draining a hefty portion of his drink. Kaden ran his hand over the top of his dark hair, then down his face, looking over at me when I remained silent. I didn’t think he expected me to respond, but he wouldn’t be opposed to my opinion either, I was sure.
“I’m still tryin’ to figure out how Tag got all mixed up in this shit,” I mumbled. “I mean, I know why he’s involved, but if he is a Reaper, he fooled me.”
“Me too,” Kaden added. “I’m always such a good judge of character. I don’t see how I missed this one. There was no indication whatsoever he was anything other than what he showed us.”
I nodded, unable to add anything more because he hit the proverbial nail on the head.
“Do you think Marek will really have someone check out his story?”
He took another long pull of his drink. “Yeah. If anything, my dad is a man of his word.”
“How long before we know anything?”
“I dunno. But it’s not like we can leave the guy strapped to a table for a week, so something’s gotta happen soon,” he answered, swallowing the remainder of his beer before placing it on the table.
I opened my mouth to ask him another question when my phone alerted me to an incoming text. Kaden received one at the same time, and when we looked at each other, a gloomy feeling settled over us. I wasn’t ready to dive back into the situation yet, and I would bet Kaden wasn’t either.
He released a whooshed sound of relief when he said, “It’s Riley,” before typing back a response.
When I looked at my cell, I saw the message was from my ol’ man, asking if I was coming home. I didn’t want to reply at all, but instead of making him worry, especially after what happened earlier, I told him I was stayin’ with Kaden.
“What does my sister want?” I leaned over, pretending to read his text. He shook his head before pulling the device closer to his chest.
“You don’t wanna read what she wrote.” He half laughed, typing something else back to her.
“Gross. Don’t tell me that shit,” I groaned.
“Then don’t ask.”
I still didn’t know how I felt about Riley and Kaden being an item. On the one hand, Kaden was like a brother to me. I trusted him with my life, but being lied to, by both of them, had pissed me off. But more than that, I was offended neither of them felt they could confide in me. On the other, I understood their need to keep their secret for fear my dad would find out.
I wondered if my ol’ man would’ve reacted the same as he did if they’d told him when they first got together. I believed a part of his anger came from them hiding it all these years, even after it was over. Then add in that she got pregnant at some point, it had been what pushed him over the edge, the proof now a faint mark on Kaden’s face.
“Where is she?”
“At Chelsea’s,” he grumbled, his lip curling up after he answered.
“Why is that bad?”
“Because I told her I wanted her to move in here with me, but she won’t do it. She said it’s too fast.” His fingers flew over the keyboard quicker than I thought he could type.
“She’s right.”
He stopped what he was doing to glare at me. “Not you, too.”
“You guys just got back together. What’s the rush? Besides, Riley is a pain in the ass to live with. Trust me, I know. She’s always yammerin’ on about cleaning up, and she constantly stole my stuff, especially my razors.” I gave him a half-grin when he frowned at me. “You also shouldn’t throw that in my dad’s face, either. He doesn’t like you as it is right now. There’s no tellin’ what he’ll do if he knows you two are shackin’ up.” My shoulder bounced after my warning.
“I’ve wasted enough time apart from Riley. I’m not doin’ that anymore. I don’t care who has a problem with it.” His phone dinged again, only this time he cursed before standing. “Let’s go.” He walked toward the door, his stern expression making me realize it’d be pointless to ask where we were goin’.
Sometimes it was better to blindly follow.
Sometimes, being the operative word.
7
We arrived at Chelsea’s place in eight minutes flat when it should’ve taken at least twenty, Kaden driving like a lunatic, all while only giving me bits and pieces of information.
Apparently, Chelsea had invited Ace over, but the more alcohol they drank, the more volatile the night became. I wasn’t sure what happened, but Chelsea started throwing shit at Ace, and he then had to tackle her to the ground in order not to get pummeled with whatever it was she kept throwing at him.
That’s when Riley texted Kaden to come and get her. She’d been drinking as well, although not as heavily, otherwise, she would’ve driven her Jeep to his house.
“This is exactly why she needs to live with me. This wouldn’t happen at my house.”
“Not unless Riley is the one throwing shit at you.”
He gave me a half-hearted smirk. “True.”
Once we pulled up to the house, Riley was waiting outside on the porch. Both of us exited the truck and rushed toward her. She looked a little shaken up but otherwise okay. I squeezed her shoulder right before Kaden grabbed hold of her.
I didn’t need to ask if they were still inside because I could hear them.
Once I entered, I saw Chelsea on one side of the small living room while Ace was on the other. There were items strewn all over, from books to a lamp, to glass scattered in several places.
The moment she saw me, she rushed over and threw her arms around my neck, the alcohol emanating from her making my eyes burn. I was surprised she could walk, let alone run toward me. Her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, but most of her strands had come loose. The strap of her tank top had fallen down over her shoulder, and if she moved the wrong way, it looked like the top part of her shirt was gonna come down.
“What’s goin’ on with you two?” I asked, preparing myself to be caught in the middle of their drama. It was apparent to everyone who knew them that there was something between them, but neither would commit to anything or each other. Off-handed remarks, from both, left everyone guessing as to what the true nature of their relationship was. Since I had my own stuff to deal with, getting mixed up in their spectacle of a relationship, and I used the term loosely, was the last thing I wanted to do. But because my sister had been affected by this shitstorm tonight, I felt it was my duty to at least find out what went down.
“She’s drunk… and crazy!” Ace shouted, a spot of blood trickling from his temple. He swayed on his feet, apparent he’d had as much to drink as Chelsea, if not more.
“He said he was gonna fuck Natalie,” she shouted in my ear before she pulled back.
“Fuck,” I grumbled. “Did you have to yell so loud? I’m standing right here. I can hear you just fine.” I pushed her away from me but kept my hands on her shoulders until she steadied herself so she didn’t fall.
“I didn’t say any such thing, woman,” Ace retorted, taking a few steps toward us while tugging on his hair in apparent frustration. “What I said was…” He took a longer pause than normal, breathing hard and closing his eyes briefly before looking back in our direction. “I bet Natalie wouldn’t mind tellin’ people I’m her man.”
“It’
s the sa… same thing.” She stumbled toward him, but only after snatching up a book that was lying on the entertainment stand. When she pulled her arm back, I grabbed it from her before she whipped it at him. The hardback was thick, and if it hit him, I was positive it would hurt like hell.
“Who’s Natalie?” I asked, determined to get to the bottom of this and have them calm the fuck down so I could get out of here.
“She works at the salon with her,” Ace said, pointing toward the volatile woman.
“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” I muttered, more to myself than to either of them. Deciding enough was enough, I glared at Ace. “Do you like Natalie?”
“Not like that,” he answered, daring to take another step toward Chelsea, scratching his jaw. The man needed a shave.
“Do you wanna fuck Natalie?” My second question made Chelsea’s body bristle, her hands finding their place on her hips. I sure hoped Ace answered no because she was gonna explode otherwise.
Instead of answering right away, though, Ace edged closer, his eyes narrowing into slits, his own anger toward Chelsea borderline explosive.
“Well?” My patience for these two had officially run out.
“He does,” she yelled, her face turning an even darker shade of red than moments ago.
“No. I. Don’t,” Ace hissed, the vein in his neck thickening in fury. “All I said was I bet she wouldn’t deny me as her man.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.
“It means she,” he said angrily, pointing at my sister’s best friend, “won’t agree to be with me but gets mad when I talk about other chicks.”
“You don’t know what you want,” she said, calmer than I expected, and it was then I noticed her eyes filled with unshed tears. And as soon as Ace saw the same, he seemed to calm a bit.
“Ace, you need to come with me and Kaden. Nothin’ good is gonna happen if you stay.” He opened his mouth to either protest or agree, but before either response escaped, I added, “You’ve both had way too much to drink and should stop right now before someone says something that changes everything… for the worst.”