by Elias Taylor
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Natalie bit her lip. Her mom’s familiar voice nearly sent her over the edge again, and it showed in her stuttered reply. “H-hey, Mom.”
“Either something is wrong or allergies got to you,” her mom observed.
Natalie let out a stifled little laugh. “Not allergies. Brent and I are done.” Like ripping off a bandaid, she thought sourly. Just gotta come out and say it.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I know he made you happy. What happened?”
Natalie told her mom the full story, stopping for a moment whenever she felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. Her mom never spoke during those pauses. She just waited for Natalie to finish.
“I just want to forget about him, Mom,” Natalie’s voice cut short.
“It’s only been a couple days. Heartbreak doesn’t heal just like that. It takes time.”
“I don’t want it to take time.”
“You don’t get to choose how you feel. And I have to be honest, honey, from what you told me, it doesn’t sound like you gave Brent a chance to explain himself.”
“I did!” Natalie insisted. “He said—”
“I know, you told me what he said,” her mom reminded her gently. “I think you were angry, upset and hurt and nothing he said would have mattered.”
“But he said a lot of things before I overheard that phone call, and none of them were true. He didn’t deserve a chance.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying that it sounds like there might have been a conversation you were too angry to have. You should follow your heart, Natalie.”
“I can’t do that. I did follow my heart and look where it led me. You followed yours once too, and look where it led all of us.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Natalie wished she could rewind time and take them all back. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know, honey.”
“I just mean... hearts can be deceiving. I know what I heard.”
“That’s true. Just remember that your ears can deceive you too. Okay?”
“Okay.”
They talked for a few more minutes, and by the time Natalie hung up the phone, she felt better—not by much, but a little. She also had a lot more to think about.
Natalie knew hearing could be misleading. People misheard things all the time. She also knew that wasn’t really her mother’s point. Her mom meant that even using senses and logic, things might not be what they seemed.
Even if there was a chance Natalie was wrong about what she heard, it didn’t matter. She didn’t want a relationship. More than that, she didn’t need one. She needed to focus on her plans for her mechanic shop. Want and need were two very different things.
It didn’t matter if she wanted to feel Brent’s arms around her every day. It didn’t matter if part of her wanted to walk next door and give him another chance. She needed to get over him, and she needed to move on and live her life the way she did best—alone.
Chapter Twenty-two: Brent
Brent sat in his car in the parking lot of the post office, all four windows rolled down and his arm resting on the open driver’s side window. It didn’t help much. It was 81 degrees today, and there wasn’t much of a breeze—enough to cool the sweat on Brent’s brow, but not enough to stop him from sweating.
He had already sweated a lot today. Normally, Brent limited his workouts to one a day. People who went for more than that were usually training for something specific. Brent enjoyed fitness and he intended to make it his career, but putting in the training to become a professional powerlifter, strongman or anything else like that held no attraction for him. His strength was above average, and that was enough for him. He always wanted to improve, but improving didn’t mean putting on an extra fifty pounds of muscle.
Today was different. Today, Brent had wanted to keep himself busy from the moment he woke up this morning. He had done that by working out at his house first, then driving to the gym for work. Instead of taking a proper lunch break, he munched granola bars and apples and did sets in between.
To his surprise, he even got a new personal record. Apparently, frustration and bitter disappointment were great motivators.
Brent had been feeling a lot of both of those emotions over the past few days. Ever since Natalie came to his house with the divorce papers ready for him to sign, he hadn’t been himself. Even many of his clients had noticed, and Brent was usually good at keeping his personal and work lives separate.
Of course, Brent hadn’t explained what was going on to his clients—that would be unprofessional. When asked, he just said he was having a rough week. That was true enough, and it usually gave him a pass for not being his usual friendly, encouraging self.
He knew he was running out of passes, though. He could only spend so long wallowing in heartbreak.
God, it’s hot in here, Brent thought, lifting his T-shirt to wipe his forehead. He had cut off the car immediately upon pulling into this parking spot at the post office, intending to jump right out and take care of what he came here to do. Strange how the moment when the air conditioner cut off was the moment all his muscles froze.
Now, no matter how hard he tried or how hot it got in the car, he just couldn’t get out. The envelope was right there on the passenger seat, sealed, addressed and ready to mail, but he couldn’t even reach out a hand for it.
This doesn’t feel right. Brent had been feeling that way since Natalie presented him with the divorce papers, but the feeling had never been stronger than it was right now.
Brent tapped his fingers restlessly on the exterior of the car. Natalie had made it extremely clear how she felt—hadn’t she?
I don’t want a relationship, and that’s all there is to it. That was what she had said. Brent could apologize, apologize and then apologize some more, but that wouldn’t change. Even if Natalie forgave him for the things he had said and accepted his reasoning for saying them, if she didn’t want a relationship—well, he couldn’t do anything about that.
She should have told me a long time ago, Brent thought bitterly. Before we spent so much time together. Before I fell in love with her. Isn’t that rich? I can finally admit that I love Natalie, and it doesn’t matter.
The past was repeating itself. Brent had trusted a woman, and he had gotten burned. Again.
With good reason. The thought popped into his head, unbidden. Brent had said some pretty awful things to his father. Things he wouldn’t have said about someone even if that was how he really felt. Things he would now have to regret for the rest of his life.
He really did feel like losing Natalie was something that would affect him for the rest of his life. Brent had only loved twice—once when he fell for his ex, and now he loved Natalie. He didn’t believe that the third time was the charm and had no intention of opening himself up to vulnerability ever again.
But you’re still on the second time. It’s not over yet.
Brent shook his head at himself. What was this called? Circular reasoning? Every time Brent dared to consider that he might still have a chance with Natalie, he remembered the things she had said during their fight and hope diminished.
Things she had said during their fight. Their fight. Even the most compatible couple fought sometimes. Brent and Natalie had gone for weeks—almost two months—without so much as an argument. Things couldn’t be motorcycles, sunshine and rainbows forever. Disagreements were bound to happen.
The argument they had in Brent’s living room wasn’t as simple as a disagreement, Brent knew that. But still, it was their first fight. Brent had shared two happy years with his ex before she left him for her best friend and roommate, and they had fought a couple times. The good times had been very good, and the bad times had been short but brutal because they had revealed flaws in both their characters.
Brent’s fight with Natalie had definitely revealed flaws in their characters. Brent was a 25-year-old adult, bu
t he still let the fear of his father’s opinion make him say things he didn’t mean. Natalie was afraid to trust—Brent was too, actually.
For once, Brent tried to take a step back and look at the issue of trust from both sides. I know Natalie can trust me, but she doesn’t. I bet she knows that I can trust her, but she doesn’t know if she can trust me. They both had the same problem, and the solution was to throw caution to the wind and just do it—trust each other.
Brent wanted to do it. For the first time in his life, he could look at a woman and see his future with her. It was a future full of love, trust and happiness—a future that he desperately wanted, because he knew he loved Natalie.
A cool breeze washed through the parking lot, clearing the heat out of the car and replacing it with air that cooled Brent’s mind as well as his body. He just sat there, breathing the pleasant fresh air and thinking about all the reasons why he loved Natalie.
The list was endless. He started with surface-level things like physical features, then went deeper.
Brent loved that she had goals and aspirations. He loved that she pushed him to pursue his own. He loved that those goals were similar but not the same, so they could bond over them but pursue them separately. He loved her independence. He loved—he loved everything about her, really.
Is that really true? Brent pushed himself to think harder and dig even deeper. It was impossible to love absolutely everything about someone. Their fight was evidence of that. Brent had already come to understand the reasons for the fight, and he could see now those reasons exposed good and bad things about Natalie in his eyes. She was passionate, but her passion led her to anger sometimes. She trusted Brent, but when she thought he betrayed that trust she didn’t hesitate to write him off. She was quick to make decisions, but she also jumped to conclusions.
Slowly, as Brent sat there in that parking lot, he began to realize that those negative things didn’t work against a relationship between them. Natalie could get angry, but Brent could be understanding. She thought he wasn’t trustworthy, but he knew he was. She jumped to conclusions, and Brent understood why.
The positive things and the negative things all made Natalie who she was, and that person was the woman Brent loved. They were meant for each other.
Brent grabbed the envelope off the passenger seat and shoved it into the glovebox, shutting it with the snap of conviction. He turned the key in the ignition and the car hummed to life, blasting him with blessed air conditioning.
There was no way Brent could walk into that post office and mail this document without trying one last time. He couldn’t let Natalie go that easily.
Chapter Twenty-three: Natalie
If life had allowed it, Natalie would have spent a couple days doing nothing but watching TV, eating her way through every cabinet in her kitchen and generally moping around. For the first time in her life, she felt like she had no motivation. She didn’t want to get out of bed, eat three regular meals, run errands or deal with her responsibilities.
But, she had no other choice. Classic Auto was a close-knit group of mechanics that all trusted each other, and taking days off from work was a process. Natalie knew if she didn’t come in to work on her project, it wouldn’t get done. Besides, she didn’t have a real excuse to stay home. Julian and Matt would ask questions, and she didn’t feel like talking about Brent or lying and saying she was sick.
So, on Monday morning, Natalie got up to go to work. Julian’s cheerful greeting somehow put her in an even worse mood, but she did her best not to show it.
Then Matt pulled into the parking lot. “Wow,” he said, looking Natalie up and down, “you look terrible. Sick?”
Natalie felt the teeth in the back of her mouth grind together. Now was not the time. “Sick of your shit. I just didn’t sleep well, Jesus.”
Matt actually had the gall to look a bit offended. Natalie turned away, determined to get to work. She should have brought her earbuds so she could listen to music. Usually, she liked to participate in Classic Auto banter and listen to the music that played from the shop’s speakers overhead, but today wasn’t a usual day.
Fortunately, Matt and Julian both seemed to get the point and left her alone, although they shot her the occasional odd glance. Natalie knew she had a pretty impressive case of resting bitch face, so hopefully things would stay that way. Her personal life was none of their business, no matter how much Matt tried to make it his business.
Sweating her ass off and coating her hands in oil and black streaks had helped restore a sense of normalcy to her world. She even managed to forget about Brent for a few hours, while she devoted all her attention to finishing her current project.
With no interruptions from Matt or Julian, she did finish, and she did it more quickly than she expected. Natalie stepped back to admire her handiwork, then spent a few minutes putting all her tools away before she stepped over to the company phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Andrew? This is Natalie with Classic Auto. I’m calling to let you know your car is ready to be picked up. We’re open today until 5 PM, and we open tomorrow at 10 AM.” Her voice felt wooden. Usually, Natalie was excited to send cars back to their owners, especially when she knew she had done a great job. It would probably be a while before anything could get her excited again.
“Great, thanks! I’ll come pick it up today in a few minutes.”
“Great, see you then.” Natalie dropped her fake, peppy customer-service voice and dropped the phone on the dock. “Julian?”
“Yeah?” He popped his head out of the open office door.
“Can I go home a bit early? My car’s done and I called the owner. I don’t have anything else to do.”
“You can always help me,” Matt said, pausing to grab a pair of keys so he could move a car from the back lot into the garage.
Natalie looked at the car that the keys belonged to. It was a 2018 Nissan something-or-another, just one of those cars the shop took sometimes when it was low on classic-car clients and had free mechanics.
“Nah, I’m good,” Natalie declined. The surprise of her snappiness from earlier must have worn off and Matt was back to his usual, irritating self.
Natalie saw Julian’s eyes glance towards the clock on the wall. She was only asking to leave about an hour and fifteen minutes early. “Sure, go ahead,” her boss told her. “It’s been a pretty slow day today.”
Matt harrumphed as he walked out to the Nissan. Natalie knew he wasn’t really annoyed. There had been plenty of times when Matt finished early and walked out before Natalie. Sometimes they left early, sometimes they stayed a little later. That was how mechanic shops worked.
The moment Natalie got home from work, she realized that asking to leave early had been a mistake. Walking through her own front door felt wrong. She should be walking next door to see Brent or sitting on the front porch steps, waiting for him to come to her.
It’s for the best. Those words had become Natalie’s motto over the past few days. She repeated them over and over, hoping one day she would actually mean them. So far, that day hadn’t come.
Natalie had convinced herself she didn’t want to be around cheerful Julian and teasing Matt, but she didn’t want to sit around with just herself for company either. She needed to do normal Natalie things—things she had done before Brent had made an appearance in her life—and remind herself that being single was a good thing.
Luckily, she knew just the person to help her out—a person who was perpetually single herself and just as bad at relationships as Natalie.
“Hey, Jasmine.” Natalie decided to sit outside, but not out front—out back, as close to the back screen door as she could get so the corner of her house would hide her from view of Brent’s sunroom.
“Hey. Where have you been?”
“What do you—oh.” In the face of everything that had happened, Natalie had totally forgotten that her friend had called her on Saturday. “Sorry, I saw that you called, but I forgot to call
you back. It’s been a crazy weekend.”
“Tell me about it. Mine was crazy in a good way, though, and you’ve got more of a crazy-in-a-bad-way vibe going on.”
“Yeah,” Natalie sighed. No, she chided herself. Remember? Single is a good thing. She backtracked and amended her agreement. “Sort of. Good and bad, I guess. Brent and I broke up.”
“Oh wow, that sucks. What happened? Last week you were literally so busy hanging out with him that I could barely grab you for lunch.”
“Yeah, well... turns out he’s been playing me this entire time.” Natalie was proud of herself for keeping her voice even and unbothered.
“Playing you like cheating on you? Because I’ll come over there and we’ll kick his ass together. I don’t care that one of his arms is the size of like both of us combined.”
Natalie chuckled. The sound felt raw and raspy, and she realized that no one had managed to get one of those out of her for days. “Luckily for him, he didn’t cheat on me.” Natalie realized that her friend wouldn’t be happy until she explained everything, so she jumped into the same story she had told her mother.
She didn’t end the story the same way, though. “And I can’t wait to be single,” she finished. “Brent was fun, but I like to keep my options open, you know?”
“Oh yeah, all those other dating options you had before,” Jasmine agreed sarcastically.
“I had—have—options!”
“None that you didn’t scare away,” Jasmine countered. “You’re not the most approachable person.”
“But I want to scare them away. I want to have some fun, then scare them away so I don’t end up in situations like this one with Brent.”
“Are you really divorced?”
“Because we were so married before,” Natalie said, echoing Jasmine’s sarcastic tone from earlier. “Probably. Or we will be soon. Brent will probably be getting to the post office... actually, he’s probably already been,” she said with a glance at her phone. “He probably went right after work today and mailed the papers. Or maybe he even went before work, since he wanted to get rid of me so badly.”