“I could feel you too.”
It’s too much for me to continue to watch them. Walking over to Tatum, I take her in my arms. “I’m sorry. I love you, kiddo.” I kiss her on the forehead. “Forgive me?”
She’s crying as she nods, wiping at her nose. “I do, you’ll never know how sorry I am.”
“I know, it can happen to anyone, and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”
She gives me a nod before she joins the fray.
“He’s dead, isn’t he?” Christine asks, looking at me.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “He is. There’s a part of me that’s sorry and a part of that’s relieved,” I admit to her.
“Same here. He wasn’t the same the last year and I don’t know why. I’m still trying to figure out why in the hell he thought the club should be his,” she cries, holding her arms over her chest.
“Some people get a little taste of power and all they want is more.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she sighs. “I’m glad Justice is back and she’s okay.”
I don’t know what to say to her, so I say the only thing I can. “You’ll always have a home here, Christine.”
Her bottom lip trembles as she looks at me. “Thank you.”
As she walks to her brother, I just hope like hell she isn’t completely broken. There has to be a happily ever after for her, right?
Fuck, I’m tired. Between telling Christine and then Rooster what happened to Travis, and trying to answer the questions everyone else had, I’ve been at the clubhouse for going on ten hours now. Christine wasn’t surprised and I think that’s what made it worse for me. She knew, and she’d been living in fear.
I’d tried to ask her if he’d threatened her, but she wouldn’t talk about it. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through, when all I want to do is be around my family, I have a feeling she’s being suffocated by hers.
My girls though, they decided they couldn’t leave me and have all taken over my dorm. It’s been a very long time since I slept in it, but I think tonight I’ll make an exception. Or this morning, whatever the fuck time it is. All I know is I want some shuteye and to talk to my wife for just a few minutes.
Entering the room quietly, I see Justice and Harley asleep together on one of the couches that turns into a bed. They’re cuddled up, much like they used to do when they were toddlers, sleeping in the same bed. But I don’t see Charity in the big bed of ours. Looking around, I can tell she hasn’t left because her purse is still here. A glow shines under the bathroom door, so I walk over there, as quietly as possible before I slip between the door and the frame.
“Nice and quiet there, Mr. Walker, I almost didn’t hear you.”
There are a few candles lit around the room, the tub has been drawn with enough water so that it covers Charity’s entire body. There are bubbles and the fragrance she loves to use when she needs to relax. I wish she’d use me, but tonight with the girls here, it’s just not appropriate.
“You heard me? Gonna need to work on my skills some more.” I sit on the vanity, hanging my head. “God, I’m tired.”
“Me too, which is why I decided to take a bath. Didn’t want to go to sleep without you. Wanna join me?”
The offer is too damn good to pass up. “No funny business.” I wink at her as I take my cut off, then divest of my other clothes and shoes quickly. “My dick is too tired to even get hard.”
“Trust me babe,” she giggles. “I feel the same way, but I would love to feel your chest against my back. Those magical fingers of yours rubbing at the base of my neck. Think we can make that happen?”
I motion for her to scoot up, before I slip in behind her, hissing at the heat of the water. It’s hotter than I like, but damn it feels good on my sore muscles. “How did it go?”
I know she’s asking how Christine and Rooster took it. “As well as could be expected. Come to find out, Christine’s the one who was feeding you the information about the informant. She found out on accident, and didn’t know how to come right out and tell anyone. Because he had an in to everyone’s personal lives through their phones and computers, she was scared he’d find out and hurt her. Rooster is just pissed, like the rest of us are.”
“Poor Christine,” she whispers, running her hands along my forearm.
I do the same beneath the water, wrapping it around her stomach. Leaning in, I kiss her on the neck softly.
“Yeah, but at least they didn’t have kids, and her business is hers. I mean it’s going to be awful for a while, but she’ll be able to make a clean break.”
“Damn, Drew, he’s dead.” She turns so our eyes are looking at one another. “Have some compassion.”
“He kidnapped my child and put you in danger. Fuck compassion.” She sighs as she faces away from me again. “I have you to give people compassion and to teach our kids that trait, too.”
Her arm plays along mine from where it’s wrapped around her stomach. “I think I have something to tell you,” she says softly.
“As long as we don’t have to get out of bed before noon tomorrow, I’ll love it.” I lean my head back against the tub. “I feel like I could sleep for years. Damn, I actually haven’t slept well since the attacks last year. So I’m hoping to catch up on it some.”
“You better do what you can, while you can.”
I can hear a grin in her voice and it makes me grin back at her, even though she can’t see. “Oh yeah, why’s that?”
“I took a pregnancy test today and it was positive.”
My fingers stop stroking her soft skin and I’m struck fucking stupid. It’s not like we were ever trying to have more kids after the twins, but we weren’t trying not to have them either - it just never happened. Both of us have been happy with our lives so far, and we were fine with what we had, but I can’t stop the excited jump in my stomach. I stand up, taking her with me, turning her around in my arms. My palm cups her jaw, tilting her head so she looks me in the eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Meredith mentioned it to me earlier when I was telling her about some of the symptoms I’ve been having lately. I was sure they were stress-related, but she had some pregnancy tests she was taking to CRISIS and I took one. It was plain as day, Drew. I’m pregnant. In the middle of all this madness, somehow we managed to create an innocent.”
“We’ve got two more in the bed sleeping, hopefully they can remain innocent after what they’ve been through.”
“It’s going to take some work on all our parts,” she whispers. “It’ll be a long time before I forget Tatum telling me Justice was gone.”
“Yeah.” I bite my lip. “I’ll apologize to her in the morning, but right now? Right now, I just wanna be with you.”
I pick her up, palming her thighs. Lifting my legs, I get us out of the tub, walking her over to the vanity. Once there I put her down, stepping between her thighs. “You’ll make an appointment on Monday? Make sure none of this has hurt you or the baby.” I put my hand on her stomach.
There’s no change in her shape yet, but I can remember how she grew with the twins, how responsive her tits were, and I wonder if they’re that responsive now. Suddenly my dick isn’t too tired to take notice of her anymore.
Getting all up in her personal space, I widen her thighs. Pushing my thumbs against the pliant flesh to hold her open.
“You don’t have to worry about preparing me,” she whispers. “I’m ready, I need to feel close to you.”
I need the same. Grabbing the base of my cock, I hold it before slowly pressing into her warmth. “Goddamn you feel good.”
She locks herself around me, almost as if someone’s about to try and pull me away. Burying my lips in her neck, I feast on her. Gorge on the skin that became my obsession when I was a teenage kid who didn’t know any better. Became my wife when I grew the fuck up and realized what I had with her. The mother of my children, and the only person who knows me as well as she does. I would do anything to keep her safe, as evidenced by the last year.
“Y
ou feel good too,” she pants. “I wonder,” she moans as softly as possible.
“Remember the girls out there.” I nod to the bedroom.
“I wonder when it happened,” she whispers feverishly. “When did I get pregnant? We’ve been going unprotected for years, Drew. What was it that finally did it?”
Grasping her hands in mine, I hold them above her head, pressing her back fully against the vanity. “Just like everything else in our lives, it was meant to be. It happened on its own time.”
“Meant to be,” she whispers. “Just like the beginning of our story.”
And then we’re done talking as we thrust and grind against one another, coming as quietly as possible. Reaching down, I put my palm over her stomach. So many thoughts run through my head. So many plans I want to make, so many promises. I’ll do what’s right by this kid, I won’t let them out of my sight, nothing will happen to them on my watch. “I promise…”
She cuts me off. “You don’t have to promise anything, babe, I already know.”
With a soft grin, I pick her up, carrying us back to the tub, and as I lay back down, her against my chest, I take a breath. For the first time in a year, I just breathe.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Three Months Later
Mandy
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Barnett. You appear to be having a miscarriage.”
I knew it immediately when I’d woken up this morning. Something had felt off. This dread in the pit of my stomach hadn’t been around since Travis had died and the rest of us went back to the lives we’d abandoned to figure out who was threatening us.
We’d been happy. All of us. Especially me. Right now, I can’t react, can’t seem to quite believe what the doctor is telling me.
“Mrs. Barnett, do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
How can I understand? I was going to have a baby, and now I’m not. This baby was the one right thing that would fix all the wrongs. What was I going to do now?
“I’m not pregnant anymore.” The words are pushed between my lips emotionless and monotoned.
“You’ll need to have a D&C,” he’s saying, but I tune him out.
I can see Drew at my side, listening to what the doctor says, because Dalton isn’t here yet. Maybe I don’t even really want him here.
“Mandy.” The sound is coming from super far away. “Mandy.” This time it’s closer, but I still don’t want to pay attention. “Mandy!”
This time I snap to attention, seeing everyone in the room looking at me. “We’re going to have to go ahead and take you back now,” the doctor is saying. “Do you want to wait on your husband.”
“No.” I shake my head. Without this baby I won’t have a husband. “We can go now.”
Drew’s face is a mask of confusion and complete disbelief. “I’ll be here,” he says, grabbing my hand.
“Thank you,” I automatically answer.
And as they put me to sleep, I welcome the blessed darkness.
Epilogue
Drew
Christmas Eve
“How are you doing?” I ask Mandy as we sit down around Mom’s Christmas tree.
It’s the one family affair we always make it to. Once we do Christmas with her, we go home, get ready for Santa, and then get a few hours’ sleep. Funny, this year we thought we’d be done with Santa, but since Charity’s carrying our son, we’ll have a lot of fun next year.
“Okay,” she answers, but I can tell she isn’t. As far as I know, I’m the only one she’s been truthful with, and that’s only because I’m so close to Dalton. I’m one of the only people Dalton’s talked to about it to, but I can’t tell her that. “He came home for a few hours yesterday,” she whispers. “To see Walker, and to give him a few Christmas gifts.”
My heart breaks because I know how bad these two are hurting. “Would you be willing to welcome him home?”
“I’m going through so much right now.” She sighs deeply before looking at me.
And there I see it, the dead stare of my twin. I feel her pain almost as acutely as she does. She’d been so excited when she found out she was expecting. She and Charity would be pregnant together, cousins would grow up right along with each other. Fuck, we’d all been excited. Then three months into it, she’d started bleeding. I was the one who rushed her to the hospital, calling Dalton in my panic to get her there as soon as possible.
She’d lost the baby and they hadn’t been the same since. I wasn’t quite sure if they’d ever be the same again.
“Just know we’re here for you.” I grab hold of her hand, squeezing it, before I go over to join my wife.
“She looks lost,” Charity whispers as we stand next to one another.
“She’s depressed, and she needs to get help. I’ve talked to everyone I can think of about it,” I admit. “It kills me to see her looking that way. She needs to lean on Dalton, not push him away.”
“Post-partum is scary.” Charity runs a hand over her bulging stomach.
No twins for us this time, and for that we’re thankful. Having a kid this close to forty is giving us both some anxiety. “Promise me if you feel like you can’t handle it, you’ll come to me. Don’t do what she’s doing. Her running scared isn’t helping either of them.”
“I promise, but I need your help too.” She wraps her arms around my neck, letting us get as close as we can with her belly. “If you see me faltering, call me on it, don’t let me push you away. Dalton isn’t pushing hard enough.”
Dalton is pushing as hard as he can. I know, I’m the one who listens to him every day as he tries to figure out a way to get his family back. “Maybe I should make a wish.” I point up to the star on top of the tree.
She giggles. “Maybe you should. Who knows if they come true or not?”
As she pulls away, going back to mingle with the rest of the family, I give what she’s said some thought. I’m definitely not the type of person to make a wish on a star, but I can remember one time in particular. The Christmas before Mom met Liam had been bleak, and we had no idea just how bleak it was going to be. I’d made a wish and hoped like hell it would come true.
Thanks to that wish I have the family I do now, the club I do now, and I have the ability to help others. Which is what I plan to do with Dalton and Mandy. If anyone knows how hard it is to be married, it’s me. But if there’s anyone who knows how sweet married life can be, that’s me too. And as I make my way over to Justice, giving her an extra tight hug, I say another little wish that my family be safe.
Instead of the fury I’ve felt for most of the last year, I’d much rather feel the love, contentment, and satisfaction of being the person everyone needs me to be.
Father. Husband. President. Brother. Friend.
But the label I’m most proud to wear?
“Son, come over here and take this picture with us.”
William Walker Jr. didn’t have to love me, he chose to, and that label means the world to me.
The End
Thank You!
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Also by Laramie
RENEGADE
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PROLOGUE
Whitney
“Ryan, I’m tellin’ you, I need my hair pulled, I need a red handprint across my ass, I need someone paying attention to my nipples, a dick in my treasure cove. I need it all.”
Drunk. I am drunk. Like way past the legal limit – otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here spilling all of my secrets to my baby brother’s best friend. The baby brother that had been totally unplanned by my parents. Ten years my junior, baby brother. He and Ryan are the same age; twenty-five to my thirty-five. Makes me feel so much older, just thinking about it. Not only by age, but by life experience too. And dear Lord, I think I sound like Julia Sugarbaker. I’m three sheets to the wind, and nobody stopped me.
I see him try to suppress a grin as he brings his bottle of beer up to his lips, taking a nice long pull off of it. I am mesmerized by the way his throat muscles move when he swallows, pushing the liquid down his throat. No denying he’s a man. The palm of his hand completely covers the label on the bottle, the one drink he takes, almost drains half the bottle. For a second he focuses on my face, squinting as he watches me. “How many of those have you had to drink?” He points the neck of his bottle to the wine glass in my hand.
His voice is as smooth as the wine I swirl in my glass. I tilt my head to the side, realizing that the whole room tilts too. Counting back, I try to think how many I had before he took the seat next to mine, and I can’t remember. “Five or six?” I ask him, like he should know.
Fury Page 13