There’s loads more I could harp on about, famous people who’ve helped me and said stuff that’ll look funny written down: Jonathan Ross, Noel Gallagher, Courtney Love—but all that rhubarb you kind of know. The Brits, Radio 2, Ponderland, tours and now a couple of films, I’ll tell you all about it next time. I have done some terrible things over the course of this booky wook—not while writing it, I’ve been the model of restraint—no, I mean over my life. In the Twelve Steps you’re taught to make amends rather than just apologizing but, by way of mitigation, I felt a tremendous compulsion to express myself, not in a smutty fashion, artistically. From the first school performance in Grays, I’ve been in pursuit of a destiny that always felt beyond my reach.
The most insightful thing I ever heard, was overheard. I was waiting for a rail replacement bus service in Hackney Wick.
These two old women weren’t even talking to me—not because I’d offended them, I hadn’t, I’d been angelic at that bus stop, except for the eavesdropping. Rail replacement buses take an eternity, because they think they’re doing you a favor by covering for the absent train, you’ve no recourse. Eventually, the bus appeared on the distant horizon, and one of the women, with the relief and disbelief that often accompanies the arrival of 349
RUSSELL BRAND
public transport said, “Oh look, the bus is coming.” Th e other
woman—a wise woman, seemingly aware that her words and attitude were potent and poetic enough to form the final sentence in a stranger’s book—paused, then said, “The bus was always coming.” V
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Ac know ledg ments
Suzi Aplin
Gareth Roy
Jack Bayles
Nick Davies
Paul McKenna
Nik Linnen
Lynne Penrose
Lesley Douglas
John Noel
Nic Philps
Ron Brand
Matt Morgan
Sharon Smith
John Rogers
Chip Somers
Tony/Sam and all at Focus 12
Jackie
Joe Star- twin
Nicola Schuller
Malcolm Hay
Tony Arthur Hay
Ben Miller
351
Ac know ledg ments
Dr. Abood
Dr. Gormley
Sam Crooks
Moira Bellas
Barbara Charone
Mark Stone RIP
Th
e Macleans
Dennis Noonan
Ian Coburn
Alfi e Hitchcock
Brian Cox
All my secret fellows
Kevin Lygo
Meredith Church
David Marshall
Christopher Fettes
Yat Malgren RIP
Reuven Adiv RIP
Mark Lucey
Iain Coyle
Andrew Newman
Andrew Antonio
Lindsey Hughes
Heidi LaPaine
Janet and Jimmy
Joan and Rex
Leela Miller
Jamie Hodder- Williams
Daisy Poppets
Ben Dunn
Mr. Gee
Karen Corin
352
Photographic Ac know ledg ments
Plate sections, pages 1–16.
All photographs are courtesy of the author, with the exception of 15 above and 16 below left, both courtesy of Rex Features.
Every reasonable effort has been made to contact the copyright holders, but if there are any errors or omissions, HarperCollins will insert the appropriate ac knowledgment in any subsequent printing of this book.
353
About the Author
Russell Brand is a comedian, journalist, TV and radio host, and actor.
He captivated audiences in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and hosted the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. He has won numerous awards in Britain, including Time Out (London)’s “Comedian of the Year,” “Most Stylish Man” at GQ’s Men of the Year Awards, and the Sun’s “Shagger of the Year.” He is a frequent guest on nighttime television.
www.russellbrand.tv
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
Also by Russell Brand
Irons in the Fire
Articles of Faith
Credits
Jacket design by the Designworks Group, Charles Brock
Copyright
MY BOOKY WOOK. Copyright © 2009 by Russell Brand. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader February 2009
ISBN 978-0-06-177037-1
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About the Publisher
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Document Outline
Cover Image
Title Page
Dedication Page
Epigraph Page
Contents Author�s Note
Part One Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Part Two Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Photographic Insert I
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Part Three Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Photographic Insert II
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Part Four Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Acknowledgments
Photographic Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Russell Brand
Credits
Copyright Notice
About the Publisher
My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up Page 31