by Nita Brooks
“Good point,” Robin said. “But you have to admit you’re happier with Nathan. He is the man you’re marrying.”
Was she happier with Nathan? He looked at her with worry in his eyes. Her heart did a jackhammer impersonation. He was the man she was marrying. She had to be happier with him.
“Yes,” she said in a rush. “I am.”
Nathan relaxed next to her. Robin glanced at him quickly then took notes. Damn, that couldn’t be good. She expected a follow up question, but instead Robin took the conversation back to the show and their plans for it. She and Nathan relaxed into easy conversation once they talked about their creative hopes and the earlier awkwardness was forgotten. By the time Robin left, Yvonne felt confident the interview had gone pretty good, but there were some things she and Nathan needed to get straight.
“Nathan, you never told me you wanted us to move in here with you,” she said after Robin was gone and they sat on his couch.
“Where else would we stay?” he said as if the idea of staying at her place, or anywhere else for that matter, was as foreign a concept as mermaids on the moon.
“I thought we’d find a place together. Somewhere we both felt comfortable.”
“You don’t feel comfortable here?”
“I do, but it’s not my home. Jacob would have to change schools. My mom wouldn’t be as close.”
“I thought that would be a plus,” he said grinning.
Any other time she’d agree, but having her mother’s help wasn’t a small deal. Nathan’s parents lived in Portland. They were great and had treated Jacob sweetly, but they weren’t here. Nathan didn’t understand how helpful having a reliable grandparent nearby could be.
“Nathan, I’m serious. My mom helps out a lot with Jacob.”
“You won’t need her help after we’re married. I can pick him up, and we can hire a live-in nanny. Picking Jacob up from school can be part of her job.”
“I don’t want a nanny picking him up from school or living here taking care of him.”
“Yvonne, we’ll be traveling a lot. Not just for the show but also with my job. A nanny will be helpful when we’re busy and when we have our own children.”
“First of all, Jacob is our child. If we have more kids, they all will be our children.”
He rubbed the back of her neck. “I didn’t mean it that way. You know I love Jacob and consider him my family.”
Yvonne relaxed a little. She’d once been sure of that. “Jacob won’t understand if suddenly I’m out of the picture and a nanny takes over. My mom dotes on Jacob. I want him to always be surrounded by love.”
“You’re acting like I’m asking you to send him off to boarding school. It’s just a nanny, Yvonne.” He stood and dragged his fingers through his hair.
“Maybe to you, but to me it’s my preference. I prefer not to have a live-in nanny. I prefer to take Jacob to school and pick him up. I prefer having my mom pick him up from school if I can’t. Why can’t you understand that?”
“I’m trying to make things easier for you. You’ve worked so hard for so long. Let me help.”
She stood and placed her hand on his hip. “This isn’t something I need help with. It’s not a part of my life I’m struggling with. We’re supposed to be a partnership, but so far everything has been your way.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve put up with Richard coming back.”
She stepped away from him. “Put up with him? How about helping me deal with a major change in my and Jacob’s life.”
Nathan sighed and reached for her. He pulled her into his arms. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then how do you mean it?” She didn’t pull out of his arms. She needed to feel them around her. She needed reassurance that they were okay.
“I am here for you, and I want you to be happy in this. Nothing’s set in stone. We’ve got time to decide what we do next.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry. I love you. Things have been busy. We haven’t spent a lot of time alone together. I made assumptions, but this is why we’re talking. Why we built a friendship. We can work together to figure everything out.” He leaned back to meet her eyes. “Will you forgive me?”
His eyes were so apologetic. His body warm and steady. Some of her concerns drifted away. “As long as you agree there are still things we need to decide.”
He kissed her. Softly and slowly and perfectly. She tasted the apology on his lips. Felt his need to move past this argument and get back to being the couple everyone loved. She would have typically felt comforted by his kiss. Right now, she wondered if it was a ploy.
“I’m sorry. I love you.” He said against her lips.
Her resolve weakened. April was still a long time away. They had plenty of time to work out the details. Nathan would come around because he loved her.
She nodded, squeezed him tight, and melted into the kiss. “I love you, too.”
Chapter 18
“I’m thinking of having a July fourth cookout,” Yvonne said to her mom and sister the next afternoon.
Valerie looked up from scrolling through her phone. Her sister had come over to talk about the design of her office. She liked the ideas Yvonne had given her and now she was ready to start making purchases. As soon as their mom found out she and Valerie were hanging out she’d decided to come over as well.
“Why?” Rochelle asked. “Shouldn’t you be focused on making wedding plans?”
“I have plenty of time to make wedding plans,” Yvonne replied. “I think it will be a good time to get everyone together.”
Valerie set her phone down and gave Yvonne her full attention. “Everyone like who?”
“Us, Nathan, and Richard,” she said brightly.
“No.” Rochelle said with a wave of her hand. “Absolutely not.”
Yvonne had thought this through and decided the time had come. Richard had mentioned offhand that she and Jacob should come to D.C. for the holiday. Nathan suggested grilling at his place or going to the beach. Her mom wanted them to go to the church social. Basically, whomever Yvonne chose to spend the holiday with would cause problems with someone else. The solution: host the holiday at her home.
“Absolutely, yes!” Valerie said sitting up straight. “I’m here all day if you’re going to have a family cookout with both Richard and Nathan here.”
Yvonne appreciated her sister’s support, even if she was there for the potential drama. “Richard and Nathan should spend more time together.”
“Have you been hit with a stupid stick?” Rochelle exclaimed. “You don’t need to keep bringing those two men together. You need to keep them separate. They are different parts of your life that don’t need to cross.”
“I disagree,” Valerie said calmly. She held up a hand in a give-me-a-second gesture when Rochelle looked affronted. “If Yvonne is marrying Nathan and Richard is going to continue to be a part of Jacob’s life, getting them together makes sense. These will be the two most influential men in his life and he should see they can get along.”
“Thank you!” Yvonne said. “I don’t want them to walk on eggshells around each other or feel as if I’m picking sides.”
“But you have to pick a side,” her mom said. “You can’t treat them equally. Like it or not, Nathan will be your husband and that gives him a leg up on Richard.”
“How so?” Valerie asked. “He doesn’t own or control her.”
“Maybe not, but he is the man she’s chosen to spend the rest of her life with,” Rochelle said with a haughty lift of her chin. “That could be fifty or more years. Until death do them part. Meaning, if you want to make it to forever with your husband, then you got to be willing to put in the work to make your marriage successful. Another man’s feelings don’t count for anything.” Rochelle’s head tilted to the side and she considered Yvonne with a critical look. “Your feelings for another man don’t count for anything. Not if you want to keep your husband.”
“I want to keep Nath
an, but I don’t want to discount Richard’s feelings. He is Jacob’s father. He will always be a part of our lives and I want him to feel comfortable.”
Rochelle shook her head. “That’s where you’re messing up. He shouldn’t feel comfortable in your home because it isn’t his place to feel comfortable.” Rochelle slapped her hands together with the words. “Your home won’t be your home anymore. It’ll be your and Nathan’s home. He can be a guest in your place but that is it. Never comfortable. As soon as you make another man feel comfortable in your home, then he feels as if he has a right to have a say in what goes on within those walls. And a right to other things in your house.” Rochelle pursed her lips and looked Yvonne up and down as if she were the other things Richard would feel owed to him.
Heat shot up Yvonne’s face. “That won’t be the case if we have boundaries. He will have a say in what happens with Jacob because he’s his father. If we can all get along now then making decisions together later will be easier.”
Rochelle rolled her eyes. Valerie sighed and shrugged. “I hear what you’re saying, Yvonne, and I agree with you.” She pointed a finger when Yvonne opened her mouth to thank her sister. “But I also see Mom’s point. While I don’t believe you’re offering anything else to Richard, I do agree you have to make it clear early on that while Richard might be welcome in your home, he shouldn’t get too comfortable.”
“He’s not too comfortable now.”
Valerie grimaced. “I don’t know. He’s there almost every night when he’s in town. He’s tucking Jacob into bed. He’s helping you make dinner.”
“He’s what?” Rochelle looked at Yvonne as if her head rotated three hundred degrees.
Yvonne returned her mother’s glare. “Only on the day you left him alone with Jacob. Talk about making someone feel welcome.”
“There was an emergency at the church,” Rochelle replied. Her eyes fluttered away from Yvonne’s.
“What kind of emergency? You are not a member of the Richard fan club so I’m surprised you felt comfortable leaving him there with Jacob.”
“I know the man isn’t going to hurt him,” Rochelle defended. “He’s crazy about Jacob, which is his one redeeming quality.”
At least her mom gave Richard that much credit. “You still haven’t answered what was going on at the church that was so important.”
Rochelle shifted in the chair, patted her hair and brushed at her pants leg. Yvonne and Valerie exchanged confused looks. That had to have been some emergency.
Valerie waved her fingers in the come-on fashion. “Spill it.”
“Spill what?” Rochelle asked.
“You’re acting way too weird about a church emergency,” Valerie said. “Any other time you’d be happy to tell us what’s going on over there.”
“There was a board meeting,” Rochelle said. “As the church secretary, I had to be there.”
Oh no, there was more to that story. Yvonne wasn’t buying it. “Mom, you’ve skipped board meetings before or been late. Now will you just tell us what’s going on.”
“Fine,” Rochelle said with a heavy sigh. She met Yvonne’s eye. “Your dad was back in town. He wanted to meet with some of his old friends from the church. He may come back as a guest pastor during our August revival.”
Yvonne felt as if her mom had kicked the chair out from under her. The air rushed out of her lungs. Her body hurt. Indignation rose up with anger. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t need to know,” Rochelle said with such firm assurance that for a second Yvonne felt unsure for even asking.
A quick second. “I didn’t need to know? Mom, you couldn’t tell me my dad was in town? What if I wanted to see him?”
“He didn’t want to see you. I know because I asked him. He has his own family, and as he told me in the nicest way possible, let’s not go stirring up dust that’s settled.”
Dust that’s settled? Is that all she was to her dad? Dust settled into the hidden corners of his life that weren’t to be disturbed?
“See,” Rochelle said shaking her head. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. Now you’re looking all sick and hurt. Get over it, child. Your dad was good at two things, preaching and getting women into bed with him. I fell for his slick lines and lost everything.” Rochelle’s hand balled into a fist on the table. “I could be living the life Linda has. I could be going to the fancy banquets and taking the expensive vacations. Not working as a church secretary and watching my daughter make the same mistakes I did.”
Yvonne bit her lip, refusing to follow her mom down the road of self-pity. She wanted to point out that if Rochelle had never fallen for a slick guy’s lines she wouldn’t be here. Valerie picked up her phone and started scrolling. She tended to clam up whenever Rochelle brought up her dad. Valerie was stuck in the hard place between the two. They both knew there was nothing they could say that would make Rochelle feel better or accept the mistakes of her past.
Rochelle deflated after her outburst and her daughter’s refusal to engage. She checked her watch. “I’ve got to get to the grocery store before it’s too late.” She stood and snatched up her purse. “I’ll say goodbye to Jacob on my way out. You have your cookout if you want. Don’t listen to what I have to say. It’s your life to screw up however you want. But believe me when I tell you that even though Richard may say all the right things, and start to look like a chance at something you don’t have with Nathan, he left you once and he’ll leave you again.”
Yvonne dropped her head into her hands after her mom left. “She’s so . . .”
“I know,” Valerie said. “I think if Dad would have become a bum, she’d be okay with what happened.”
Yvonne hated to admit it, but Valerie was right. Rochelle didn’t miss her ex-husband’s love. She missed the money and security that came with the success he’d found after their divorce.
“I can make this work between Nathan and Richard,” she said firmly.
Valerie’s smile was a mixture of support and good luck. “We’re going to make this the best cookout ever.”
“Can you invite Eva and her boyfriend?”
Valerie frowned. “Why would you want that drama there?”
“More people. The more people who are there the easier it’ll be for people to get along and less likely to make a scene.”
“Mmmm, I don’t think it works like that. You ever been to a club? Lots of people and fights tend to break out.”
Yvonne nodded and got more excited about the idea. “Yeah . . . that’s the key. More people there.”
“One problem, more people means more people who are likely to make the connection between you and Richard. We are keeping that a secret, right?”
Yvonne deflated. “We are. Fine, we’ll make it work with just family. Everything will be fine, and we’ll prove to Mom we can all get along.”
Valerie nodded in solidarity. “Yep. It’ll be like a Disney movie.” Then Valerie laughed. “You ever noticed how someone usually dies in those fairytales?”
Yvonne glared. Flashes of Bambi’s mom, Mufasa, and Princess Tiana’s father filtered through her mind. She shook her head. “Shut up. No one will die. It’ll be perfect.”
Chapter 19
The doorbell rang early on July fourth and Yvonne’s stomach was a mess of unnatural flutters, nervous clenching, and good old-fashioned nausea. She took a deep breath and stared at her front door. She crossed her fingers and looked skyward.
Please let today go well.
“Mommy, answer the door.” Jacob ran past her to the door.
She jerked her gaze off the ceiling and focused on Jacob. He bounced on the balls of his feet. An excited grin split his cute face. When Richard asked if his family could come she couldn’t think of a reason to say no. Jacob had another grandmother, a sister, and an uncle. He couldn’t wait to meet them and had talked non-stop about getting to play with his sister when she came to town.
“I’m going to answer the door,” she said
, trying to hide her nerves with a smile.
“I can’t wait to see Dad. I’ve got to tell him how much better I got at t-ball.”
“I think he knows,” she said with a genuine laugh. Jacob insisted on video chatting with Richard whenever he was back in D.C. She’d expected the routine to eventually stop, but Richard looked forward to hearing Jacob’s stories about what happened in his day almost as much as Jacob loved telling them.
Jacob unlocked and opened the door before she could. Clearly, he was not in the mood to wait for his mommy to get her act together. Yvonne hurried forward to greet her guests.
Richard stood on the porch in a grey crew neck shirt and dark shorts. Which made her notice the width of his shoulders and the length of his legs. Their eyes connected. He gave her a nervous smile. They shared a moment of solidarity that made her own nerves settle. They could do this.
She recognized his brother Michael. They’d met once or twice before when she and Richard were together. He and Richard were similar in height and build except Michael’s dark eyes sparkled with mischief. The playboy younger brother, as Valerie described him.
She’d never met his mom, but the resemblance was there in her brown eyes and direct measuring stare. His mom’s hair was dreaded with goddess locks she’d pulled back into an intricate twist at the back of her neck. Her tasteful light green linen shirt and shorts perfectly complemented her golden-brown skin. Her hands rested almost protectively on the shoulders of a little girl. Nadia.
Yvonne smiled at Richard’s daughter. The girl’s big bright eyes were the color of honey and her curly hair was collected in a cute puff at the top of her head. She studied Yvonne warily with one finger in her mouth as she leaned back against her grandmother.
“Hey,” Richard said. “I hope we’re not too early.”
“Not at all,” Yvonne answered. “I was just about to get the grill started. Come in.”