My smile grew at the thought that she believed what I was doing was “cool.” I had to do right by her, maybe even be someone she could look up to. I wished I’d had someone to look up to when I was younger. The closest I got to a role model was Lynn.
Once dinner was done, Emily went back to watching the movie, and Arthur said he had to go back to the warehouse to do some work.
We both had lives we had to keep up with outside of each other, so I understood.
“Maybe we can all paint together sometime soon—that was fun.” I tried to make him smile since it seemed like he was a bit under the weather.
“That would be great.”
Maybe it was just my overthinking mind, but he sounded so off. I wanted to make him happy and bring back his bright smile again.
“Thank you for helping me with this new change. It’s been hard, but I feel like having you with me has been the only thing keeping me sane.” My fingers played with the edges of his leather jacket.
“You are my everything…you know that, right? Since the moment I saw you, you have been my world. I’d do anything to make sure you were okay.”
His eyes searched my face, and there was so much emotion swimming inside them. I just wish I could read what it all meant. Instead of trying, I leaned up to kiss his lips and let our hearts talk to each other, communicating in the only way it knew how, with love.
He gave me one last kiss before saying goodbye to Emily and me, then left the apartment.
His departure felt weird, but so much had been going on. Maybe he was just trying to adjust to everything. I couldn’t blame him for that.
Figuring I needed to keep my mind busy, so I didn’t read too much into Arthur’s strange behavior tonight, I got back to work on the spare bedroom. My hope was we could have Emily’s room all set before she started school.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Arthur
The water was freezing around my legs as I waded into the bay.
Every part of my body was screaming to get out of the water and run as fast as I could back to Gwendolyn. Back to love and warmth.
But I’d be a coward if I did. I’d be less of a man than she deserved.
Bile rose in my throat from the toxins already beginning to absorb into my skin. My body shook, and a tickling in the back of my throat made me feel like I had to puke.
This wasn’t going to be a good death, at least before it had been kinda quick. This was going to be drawn out until every bit of the toxicity in the water had poisoned my body, cleaning the bay for everyone else to live.
I knew I wasn’t gonna make it out alive this time, but I thought that on my first deathbed. Maybe it didn’t hurt to fantasize what I’d do if I survived somehow.
Closing my eyes, I relaxed my body, and floated with the waves. Dreaming of a life with Gwendolyn. Having kids, a house, Emily smiling at her sister lovingly, and our robots that caused smiles and cursing surrounding us. I’d make more of an effort with the Hero Society. Hang out with Draco and the rest of the lot.
I’d marry Gwendolyn in a heartbeat. As soon as I took my breath back into living, I’d ask her to be mine. No more wasting time, because in the end we have a limited amount of that anyways.
My fingers started to tremor, and the rest of my body followed their lead. My head was throbbing in pain, and my lungs felt like they were becoming lead.
I wanted to just drown. End it quickly, but I had to make sure the job was done. That they were all safe.
Time passed as I nearly drowned from the vomiting, the tremors, and my muscles seizing up to where I couldn’t move.
Before my throat started to close, I uttered one last time to the wind with a shaky voice.
“I’m still lost in you.”
The deed was done, and I could finally let my head go under the water.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Gwendolyn
I woke up early to do some yoga while the apartment was quiet. Pops and Cora went about their normal morning routines while I stretched. Pops searched the news, and Cora was playing with her robotic mouse.
Today was going to be a good day, I could feel it. I texted Arthur, even though I’m sure he was still sleeping, to let him know that I loved him, and that I wanted to see him later. Lynn said before that she would love to help with Emily and was willing to watch her anytime Arthur and I wanted some time together. Maybe I could call in that favor tonight?
My body and mind felt fresh an hour later as I sat down with a cup of coffee and waited for Pops to give me the details from any good news. Everything was starting to get back into routine.
The clinking of Pops’s metal feet brought my attention to him as he sat on the table.
“What’s the news, Pops?” I chirped.
“Terratrex has confirmed their part in the water problem, but they are only being smacked with a million-dollar fine.”
Of course they were. No one going to jail or anything, just paying an amount that’s a pittance for them.
“Anything else?”
“First report from Seahill Fish and Wildlife this morning shows that the water is completely void of Pseudo‐nitzchia.”
The algae was gone?
“Completely void? It just disappeared?” Shock and confusion swarmed me. That didn’t seem right, even as much as I wished it to be true. A dreadful feeling settled in my stomach. Something wasn’t right.
Trying not to let panic overwhelm me, I grabbed my phone and called Phillip. It was probably nothing like what I was thinking, but I wanted to make sure.
“Gwendolyn,” he answered as soon as the first ring ended.
“Pops told me about the water, what happened? It just disappeared?” My voice might have risen a notch, but I just felt something awful inside me. The feeling was eating at me, and I didn’t know why.
“It’s gone, all of it. He saved us all.”
He?
He.
Phillip said he saved us all.
“Oh God.” My voice cracked, and my chest started hurting.
“Who, Phillip?” I didn’t want to make the assumptions my heart somehow already knew.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice mirrored mine; he felt the pain that was climbing up my skin like talons of a monster.
Shaking my head, I refused to understand what he was saying, even though the tears leaking from my eyes told me that deep down I was accepting the truth.
“Who is he, Phillip?”
I needed to hear it, I had to. Oh God.
“Arthur sacrificed himself to save us all—to save you. I’m so sorry.”
“Is he dead?” Please, by some miracle, say he isn’t dead. Please, please, please, please. I begged the universe for some mercy. I can’t lose him.
“Not yet, but he’s close. He went into the water and used his body as a filter. The water was cleaned, but his body took everything in and kept it. His organs are failing from the toxicity, and he is not responding to any available treatment.”
Anger flooded my body as I stood up and slammed my hand on my table.
“He’s alive? Why didn’t you call me? I’ll be at the hospital soon.” I didn’t wait to hear an answer. I hung up with him and called Lynn.
She showed up five minutes later to me pacing in my living room. All the metal decorations in my house were crumpled up like paper on my floor.
“Watch her for a bit, please. I’ll call when I can. Thank you.” Pops and Cora were with me, and I left in a hurry. Arthur wasn’t dying without me there; I didn’t care if he told everyone that I wasn’t allowed to see him like that. I would pull the fucking iron out of their bodies if they got in my way. Arthur was my world—I would be there for him, with him.
Thankfully, no one stopped me as I walked in and demanded that I be taken to him.
Phillip was talking with Esme by his door when I arrived.
Neither of them said anything to me as I used my powers to lift the metal handle and pushed the door back.
My
legs lost their will to stand as my gaze fell upon his body, nearly lifeless, on the hospital bed. He had tubes hooked up to him everywhere, including one helping him breathe.
“No, no. Why did he do this?” I sobbed, my hand covering my mouth in disbelief.
“He did it to save you.” Phillip squatted down beside me and offered his hand for comfort. I jerked away. I didn’t want his; I wanted Arthur’s. He was my balm, my thunder jacket when I needed to be soothed. I needed him, and he gave his life for me.
I couldn’t stand on my own. My body was weak, seeing him like this. Eyes closed, glasses on the nightstand, and his tan skin had a gray sheen to it, like his pores were trying to expel the toxins within them. His body was giving up on him. I could feel my heart trying to talk to his, wanting to feel the love in his touch. That bond between us. But that bond had been cut, the code from my heart to his was silent.
“What is happening to him?” Phillip helped me walk over to his bed, where I sat and grabbed Arthur’s hand. It was still, like he was already dead. But I heard the beep of the machine telling me that was a lie.
“He’s in sepsis shock. His body is shutting down, unable to handle the amount of toxins flowing in his system. They’re trying to do everything they can. Even Dorian, Esme’s husband, is on the case. He is the best doctor in the world.” Phillip was trying to help ease my mind, but it wasn’t working. They weren’t doing enough.
“Esme!” I felt like the answer to my prayers was here.
“No, Gwendolyn. I’ve seen it, if she helps him. She dies. She can’t do as you want.” He shook his head.
I understood his words, and I knew he was right, but there had to be something. I couldn’t lose him. I just.
I just couldn’t lose him.
“He left this for you.” Phillip reached for an ivory envelope next to Arthur’s glasses.
With shaky hands, my fingers grasped the envelope, and I opened it, tears dropping onto the paper.
Chapter Forty
Gwendolyn
My Muse,
My Love,
When I came back from death, I vowed that I would live life to be happy. I gave up what I thought was my world and gave in to the true me.
I was happy. I created beauty in a world that needed a spark of light in life.
Then I saw my muse, my very existence in human form. A goddess running with her mythical dragon in the park. Her hair was white, just like the snowy scene around her, and those blue eyes that I could see from afar captured my soul and never let me have it back.
She didn’t know I existed, or that she owned my soul with one glance, my heart beating in another chest.
I would climb every mountain, swim every ocean, and cross infinite deserts to be with her. The woman whose heart spoke my own’s language.
I’m sorry our time was short, but I would do everything just as it was because I got you. I held you in my arms, touched your soft skin, and tasted the love on your lips. I’d die a million times over just to spend a moment with you.
I spent so much time wishing to have a life with you, like wishing for rain while standing in the desert.
Marriage, kids, being there to help raise Emily with you…All part of my plans.
I wish I could take back the pain in your heart as you read this. But I don’t regret what I did. I was the hero that you needed, the one you’d never ask for. The man willing to fight for mankind. The same hero that stayed behind when all seemed lost, the same hero that died for you.
You can live and be the woman the world needs you to be. They need you so much more than me. I wanted to keep you for myself, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t. Life around us would have fallen apart, and I would have known I was a coward that didn’t give everything I could to make the world a better place for you. For Emily. For Lynn. And the Hero Society. For every living being on our planet.
I love you enough to let you live life to the fullest, even if it’s not with me.
You are amazing, beautiful, and the smartest woman I know. If anyone can take my sacrifice and turn it into something beautiful, it’s you. A muse, the color for a blank canvas.
Forgive me for not telling you—I didn’t want to spend my final moments without your smiles.
At least I got to experience heaven on earth while I held you in my arms; I’m sure the real thing will hold me over until I see you again.
I love you, Gwendolyn.
Arthur.
I don’t remember the minutes after reading his letter to me. My mind shut down, and I collapsed against his still body. There were no cries of pain for the heart that shattered, the tortured silence could be heard bouncing against the white walls of the hospital.
I just remember staring at a painting of a heart with a pink flower inside it, with the word “hope” written in script beneath it.
Hope was a double-edged sword that sliced through the hearts of one while giving extended beats to the masses.
I wanted to be the woman he thought I was, but I felt empty and cold. I may have held his heart inside me with my own, but when the machine at his bedside flatlined, two hearts stopped beating.
Chapter Forty-One
Gwendolyn
The lights were bright, so bright against my eyes that I held up my hand to block the view from blinding me.
“Wake up, Gwendolyn.” That voice.
“Wake up, you’ve got work to do.”
I wanted to roll over and ignore the voice that wanted me to rise from the dead.
“You can save him, Gwendolyn. But you have to rise. You must fight the pain and break past the ice around your heart. Get up.” Someone was touching me, and my eyes finally adjusted to the lights above me. Turning my head to look at the voice, I focused on the blonde hair and pink mark on her face.
“What did you say?” My hand gripped the small, soft one that was holding mine.
“You can save him. But you have to get up. You have to fight; you have to be strong,” Rose demanded. I was so confused. Arthur died and took my soul with his.
“His heart crashed, but they were able to bring him back—he’s fighting to stay for you. A fragment of him is refusing to part from you, even inches away from death.”
“What can I do?” I would do anything. Move mountains, swim the oceans, walk the desert. Whatever it took.
“He needs you to make him whole again. His body is failing, so make him new. You’ve been working on artificial organs. You’re close; I’ve read your department’s notes. Dorian believes that if you could do it, you will not only save his life but millions of people around the world. People as desperate as you to save their loved ones. So, get up, let’s go to your office and work until our fingers bleed. Let’s fix what’s been broken and be heroes.”
I was up and walking out the door without another word.
If Arthur was fighting to stay with me then I would fight for him, fight to have another chance at happiness in his life.
Dorian and Esme were going to try to keep him alive until I fixed him, because I would. If his body was giving up, then I would make him a new one.
Rose drove me to my office, and I got to work. Metal was melting and forming into parts before my eyes. I delegated when I needed it, but I think she was mostly there for support, to remind me of the reason I was doing this. I didn’t need reminding. My mind was in full hyper-focusing mode, and I wouldn’t eat, or rest, until I solved the puzzle.
A knock on the door had Rose walking over to answer and tell whoever was there I was busy. But then I heard his voice.
Without thinking twice, I stomped over to them and reared back my fist. Terratrex wouldn’t be punished enough for all the chaos that had happened. So my hit to Bradly’s face would have to be closure for me.
I’d never punched someone before. The feeling of his bones crunching against my skin made my face scrunch up in a grimace, but he deserved it.
“Bradly, I swear if you don’t get away from my office you’re going to regret it.
” I was in no mood for this. My emotions were gone for now, and what was left standing in front of him was the woman everyone thought I was. The human robot of Seahill.
“I wanted to apologize about the robots. I found out it was Terratrex that gave the ones you had at the hospital a virus. They wanted the money and the glory, and you were ruining their plans. I wasn’t the one who did it, but I knew about it and didn’t tell you.”
My face was a complete mask as he confessed his sins. I’d given him what he deserved from me already. That punch was for my robots and Arthur, who was fighting for his life right now. Terratrex was only getting off with a fine for all this chaos, so my punch would have to work as closure for me.
“Leave.”
It was all I had to say before turning and getting back to work.
He might have left right away, or maybe he tried to stay and talk it out. Either way, I tuned out the world and kept working, molding plastic pieces, connecting the wires and tubes. Testing over and over with real blood that had been donated by the hospital for research.
Clotting, constant clotting.
I was getting nowhere.
But I kept going.
I just repeated my mantra, over and over.
“I’ll rebuild him.
“I’ll rebuild him.”
I was the world’s top robotic engineer—I could do this.
“Emily is calling, I think you should take a break to talk to her.” Rose was holding a phone out for me to take.
Emily.
My mind, solely focused on my heartbreak, had pushed Emily out of the picture. My sister needed me.
Emotions started falling over me like a wave crashing. I’d been so selfish, ready to jump into death’s arms with Arthur, forgetting that one person still needed me more.
“Hey, Emily.” I tried to sound somewhat normal for her; she didn’t need to worry about me.
“Hey, they told me about Arthur. I wanted to see how everything was coming along. Any luck?”
“None yet, but I’m not giving up. You okay with Lynn? Do you want me to come home?”
Winter (Hero Society Book 5) Page 14