“Heart rate’s evening out.” The paramedic patted Valentyn on the back. “Good job, husband.”
Valentyn drew Peter’s arm closer, inhaled a long, aching draught of him, and did his best to hold on.
PETER had gone to the hospital for a panic attack before. His family had learned the hard way that in so many ways, hospitalization made him worse. In hindsight, he should have found a way to convey this to Valentyn.
There was no conveying anything to anyone now.
They ran him through the usual cardiac tests, all of which he passed. His heart rate remained elevated, increasing every time they took him away from Valentyn. Not only because he was without his lifeline, but every time they were parted, all he could think about was how he might have ruined things to the point of no return. Every time they separated, he worried ICE would come to deport Valentyn while he was out of sight.
If only he hadn’t messed everything up. If only he could truly find peace with his SM. If only. If only. If only.
I’m so sorry, Valechko. I’m so, so sorry.
Once they were as sure as they could be he wasn’t having a cardiac event, they gave Peter more potent antianxiety medication, which put him to sleep before he made it back to his room. He tried to fight it, screaming inside his head that he had to stay awake, but there wasn’t any fighting an IV infusion.
When he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, Helen sitting beside him holding his hand.
Tears sprang to his eyes and he choked on a sob as he glanced around the room. The world righted as he saw Valentyn talking with Joe and Kevin near the door.
Helen stroked his forehead. “Shh. It’s all right. He’s still here. He’s never left you. We had to force food and coffee into him. It would be him holding your hand if he wasn’t talking to your lawyer.” Her smile was soft. “Are you feeling better?”
The walled-off feeling was gone, and his brain had already indexed the room for people who would mean he had to be silent. “I messed up. I messed everything up.”
“No.” This was Kevin, breaking away from the conference at the door. “You didn’t.” He crossed the room to stand by Peter’s bedside. “The interviewer was completely out of line, and I’ve filed complaints all the way to the top of the Denver office, including calling in a favor with a judge who owes me one. They should have made accommodations for you. They will make them when we go for the makeup interview.”
Hope flared in Peter. His gaze fell on his husband, who stood beside Kevin. He looked exhausted.
“I’ll explain it in more detail once you’ve both had a chance to rest.” Kevin nodded at Helen. “What do you say, should we give these kids some time alone?”
Everyone but Valentyn filed out. He hovered over Peter for a moment, his face inscrutable. Then he sank to the floor beside the bed, onto his knees, clutching at Peter’s hands as he pressed his head against the rail.
“I’m so sorry,” Peter whispered, ragged. “I’m so sorry.”
Valentyn lifted his head and grabbed Peter’s hand, tugged it through the rail. He kissed it front and back, each finger individually. His voice was thick and raw. “I thought I’d lost you. You were so still, so far away. I wanted to die.”
Peter rolled to his side, fighting the rail so he could stroke Valentyn’s hair. The urge to apologize again submerged beneath the more acute need to soothe. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears began to run down Valentyn’s face. He never stopped kissing Peter’s hand. “Ti moê žittâ.”
If only they could submit this for their interview, Peter thought, his own tears running now. “You’re my life too. I won’t go. I promise you. I won’t go.”
Valentyn let loose a string of Ukrainian Peter couldn’t understand. As he clutched Peter’s hand so tight he thought they might fuse into one, his tears became sobs, great wracking heaves that rattled the room.
“Everything will be fine.” Peter curled against the rail, pressing his lips to the bit of Valentyn’s hair he could reach.
It was funny, but for the first time Peter believed it. They would be okay. He had absolutely no idea how. But with his husband weeping beside him, with the worst behind them, he understood on a bone-deep level that no matter what, no matter what, so long as they were both alive, they would find a way to be okay.
“ tebe kohaû,” he whispered to his Valya. “I will always love you.”
Valentyn kissed his hand once more. “And I you.”
It was the only thing in that moment that mattered.
Chapter Twenty-One
IN the days after their failed interview, Valentyn learned just how excellent his lawyer was.
Sometimes he lay awake at night, holding Peter close as he stared at the ceiling thinking of how differently it could have gone. He could have been deported on the spot, spirited away while Peter was sent to the hospital. He could be in Ukraine right now, desperately trying to mount an appeal while his husband sat in jail. He could be in so many different places, but where he remained was with Peter, in their house in Boulder, waiting for the replacement interview, where Kevin and a partner would be present, where Kevin would have gone ahead to triple-ensure Peter would have the support he needed to be able to speak.
Valentyn didn’t care if he had to pay Kevin for the rest of his life. Whatever the price, it would be worth it.
Their replacement interview was set for April, meaning by then it would have been a year since the two of them met. Not quite since Peter had proposed to him, but close enough to feel poignant.
They spent every moment they could together during the waiting time, touching one another, making love, and simply existing in the same space. They learned to make pickles and planted a garden, never speaking about the fear that they might not be together to harvest it. They did crossword puzzles and took long walks together, and when the weather gave them a break, they went back to Rocky Mountain National Park and sat on the rock where Valentyn had confessed his fears. This time they said nothing, only sat together taking in the beauty of nature.
They talked a lot, though, usually in bed as they lay naked, sharing stories from their current lives and from their past. They shared hopes and dreams in a way they hadn’t quite managed before. They imagined they had all the time in the world before them, because they understood they might not have any time at all.
Quietly, Valentyn made an appointment with a therapist. He hadn’t yet managed to say much and still wasn’t sure what he thought of the exercise, but he would admit, if pressed, it was possibly a good thing to do.
He smoked less, and for the first time in his life thought seriously about quitting. He cut back his drinking too. He wouldn’t let his health be the reason Peter was left alone.
The day of the interview was sunny and bright, spring creeping into the world. This time they left with plenty of time to find parking, meaning they sat in the waiting room even longer than the time before.
Valentyn didn’t mind. Every second was precious, and he would savor them all.
By some kind of magic, Kevin had gotten clearance for Peter’s counselor to attend his interview, and she sat beside Peter, chatting idly with him as they waited, walking him through some kind of calming exercise. Valentyn tried to follow it, but his mind was too untethered. He wished they could be alone while they waited. He wished he had more time. It wasn’t so much that he thought they would fail, only that he wanted the world to stop. To let him be with the person who mattered.
He clung to Peter in a long, tight hug before they parted, and he watched over his shoulder as they headed down separate halls. As he settled into his chair by Kevin’s partner from the law firm, he continued to glance at the door, startled by every sound in the hall.
The interviewer, a gentle Latina woman, regarded him with concern. “Mr. Shevchenko? Everything all right?”
Blinking, he cleared his throat and forced himself to face forward. “My apologies. My husband… I worry.”
She
smiled kindly. “Should we get started so you can get back to him?”
He nodded. “Please. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
She opened the folder in front of her. “How did the two of you meet?”
Valentyn’s heart felt like glass in his chest. It was so difficult to focus. “At the coffee shop where he worked. I’d been going there for some time, but one day this handsome young man made my coffee, and I couldn’t stop watching him. I tried to flirt, but it didn’t go anywhere.”
Mouth quirking, she raised an eyebrow. She was very calming. “What happened then?”
The memory of it shafted him, the shatter of the dishes on the floor, the sharp, intense look in Peter’s gaze as he fought for words. The glass in Valentyn’s heart melted, flooding him with honey. “He asked me to marry him.”
She laughed. “Really? Was he joking?”
So much warmth, like sunshine across the tundra. He smiled too. “No. And to be honest, my heart was lost then and there.”
“Where was your first date?” Her expression said, or did you run right to the courthouse?
“At the coffee shop. We met to talk. I… I wanted to date him, but I wasn’t sure. I’m a bit older. It didn’t seem fair to him. I tried to tell him this, but he couldn’t communicate well with me yet, and we….” He blushed and rubbed at his cheek. “He convinced me to give the relationship a try through other means.”
She set down her pen for a moment, regarding him thoughtfully. “How does that work, having a relationship with someone who can’t communicate with you?”
Valentyn didn’t have to consider this reply. It wasn’t a question they’d rehearsed, but that didn’t matter. “It’s the same as any language barrier. You learn to listen and observe, you find workarounds. Sometimes I honestly think that pressure to communicate is what got us through. I was so busy trying to connect, I didn’t have time to listen to the voice chiding me that I didn’t deserve someone this wonderful. Besides, every time I tried to back away, he dragged me forward.” More memories flooded him, buoying him. “I know our marriage timeline looks dubious on paper, but if you were there, you knew it was as inevitable as the tide. It’s my honor to be married to him. I look forward to spending the rest of my life letting him entangle me in adventures.”
He hadn’t realized he’d started crying until he felt the tear slide down his face. Startled, embarrassed, he wiped it away. “Apologies.”
Picking up her pen, she waved this away with a smile. “None needed. Shall we continue? All of a sudden I can’t wait to go see what the other half had to say. You guys are better than Netflix.”
Chuckling, wiping away another tear, Valentyn nodded.
The interview was practically a pleasure. When he finished, he hurried into the hall, only to find Peter already there waiting for him.
Beaming.
Valentyn rushed up to him. “Did you manage? Is everything all right?”
Grinning ear to ear, Peter nodded. With a whoop, Valentyn laughed and spun his husband around in an impromptu dance.
Half an hour later Valentyn’s interviewer emerged to let them know they had passed and that Valentyn’s conditional green card would be on its way.
“Go out and celebrate,” she told them with a wink.
Joy overflowing from his heart, Valentyn hugged his husband close and whispered endearments and relief in Ukrainian, then led him out of the building and into the rest of their life together.
Epilogue
Six Years Later
VALENTYN’S naturalization ceremony was held on a cold and snowy day in December three days before his forty-fifth birthday, but every last member of Peter’s family and all their friends fought through the snow to get there.
Dennis and his wife had come, as well as Amy, and of course Helen, Joe, and the kids. Peter’s mother and stepfather came too, and even his brother. They packed into their section of the audience and beamed proudly as Valentyn held up his hand and took his Oath of Allegiance to the United States of America.
Dennis shook his head, grinning crookedly as he had a tendency to do. “Citizenship, home ownership, and tenure in the same year. There’s not going to be any living next to his big head.”
“Don’t forget quitting smoking.” Abby grinned at Peter. “Good work there, tiger.”
Smiling, Peter went back to scanning the crowd for his husband. He was on the other side of the room, and there were a lot of people in the way.
Helen glanced worriedly toward the tiny windows behind them. “I hope the snow holds off long enough for us to get back to Boulder. Diane and Terry, I think you’d better plan on staying the night with us, though.”
Joe folded his arms over his chest. “We’ll make it back to the house. I didn’t make ten pounds of meatballs for nothing. And we have all those little potato-and-cabbage things Peter made.”
“I’m frankly looking forward to the Ukrainian vodka,” Terry chimed in.
They all continued to chatter about the upcoming party, all but Amy, who nudged Peter gently in the arm.
“Go and find your favorite citizen and bring him home.”
Peter didn’t need to be urged twice. Waving at the others, he fought his way through the crush, trying to keep his gaze on the place where his husband had been.
The sheer volume of people was intense, and they were all emotional, most of them crying and shouting as family members hugged them. There was no chance Peter would be able to say a word to anyone right now, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t need words. He only needed his husband.
When their eyes finally met, the world fell away, and Peter held still as Valentyn made his way to him. He had streaks in his hair now, more than when they’d first met. He’d even grown a beard, and it looked good on him, especially with the bits of white. Since he walked to work most of the time and spent most of his evenings in their constantly expanding garden and greenhouse, he was subtly fit in all the ways that worked for Peter.
But even if he were old and sick, Peter would love him. He would love him for the rest of his life. And now, no one could part them but death itself.
His heart leapt as Valentyn took him into his arms, cradling his face as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, his nose, his lips. “Mylyy.”
Peter smiled back, letting his kiss linger, pushing the limits of what his Ukrainian-American husband would allow. Then he linked their fingers together and led his citizen husband through the crowd, back to their family, and into their glorious future.
Coming Soon
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Taking their shot at love.
University of Kentucky senior Kit Parkins has his life planned out. He’ll graduate, get a good job, find a better apartment, meet the guy of his dreams, and settle down to a happy life near his brother and uncles, the only family he has left. But meeting Lincoln Joyner, UK’s star basketball player, calls all his priorities into question.
Like Kit, Linc knows exactly where life is taking him: to the NBA and as far away from his hardscrabble childhood as possible. There’s just one problem. He falls in love with Kit, who can’t imagine life anywhere but in Lexington.
Can they find a way to keep their relationship going without giving up on their dreams?
Under the Covers by K.C. Wells
Can they find their HEA in Romancelandia?
Chris Tyler loves his job. He photographs some of the hottest guys on the planet, but none stir him like Jase Mitchell. He’ll never let Jase know – he values their friendship too much to spoil it.
Jase is looking forward to the Under The Covers Romance convention. It’s a great opportunity to connect with readers who want to meet their favorite cover model, but more importantly, with agents who could advance his career. Too bad the only person he yearns to connect with is Chris.
What Chris wants is Jase in his life, but he’s afraid that’s sheer fantasy. What Jase desires is a Hollywood dream, but that
will mean leaving Chris behind. What both crave is a real-life romance and their own Happily Ever After.
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Author of over thirty novels, Midwest-native HEIDI CULLINAN writes positive-outcome romances for LGBT characters struggling against insurmountable odds because she believes there’s no such thing as too much happy ever after. Heidi is a two-time RITA® finalist, and her books have been recommended by Library Journal, USA Today, RT Magazine, and Publishers Weekly. When Heidi isn’t writing, she enjoys cooking, reading novels and manga, playing with her cats, and watching too much anime.
Visit Heidi’s website at www.heidicullinan.com.
You can contact her at [email protected].
By Heidi Cullinan
DREAMSPUN DESIRES
The Professor’s Green Card Marriage
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Professor’s Green Card Marriage
© 2020 Heidi Cullinan
Cover Art
© 2020 Alexandria Corza
http://www.seeingstatic.com/
The Professor's Green Card Marriage (Dreamspun Desires Book 98) Page 18