by Emma Lea
“What?” he finally said into the stilted silence of Gran’s kitchen. “I was only doing what she wanted.”
“And doing it very convincingly,” Tina said, “You and Georgie are no longer trending on Twitter—”
“And wasn't that the plan?”
“But you and Laura are.”
Connor swore under his breath. Now Laura would hate him too.
“Oh, wait,” Tina said, her eyes glued to her phone, “Now this is interesting.”
“What?”
“Laura has posted something about the two of you—”
“She has? What did she say?”
“She's looking forward to getting reacquainted too.”
Connor dropped his head in his hands and groaned. What did that mean?
“She goes on to say that it’s still early days yet, but to watch this space.”
“You've got to be kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“Get her on the phone. I need to talk to her.”
Tina’s phone rang in her hand and she raised an eyebrow at Connor.
“Jim,” she said, “How are you?”
Jim was Laura’s PR guy. Connor stood from the table and began pacing. He felt sure Laura would have had his hide for getting her mixed up in this nightmare, but for her to respond added fuel to the rumours already circulating about them.
He couldn't hear the other side of the conversation and Tina wasn't giving anything away, but she kept shooting thoughtful glances at him and he just knew that they were cooking up something between them.
“Okay, thanks Jim. I'll talk to him and let you know.”
Tina disconnected from the call and sat, looking up at him, her face inscrutable.
“So?” He hated that she was drawing this out.
“That was Jim—” Connor rolled his eyes and made a hurry up movement with his hands. “Laura is dating a guy and wants to keep things on the down low so they were wondering if maybe a fake relationship might work in both your favours.”
“Pretend to be dating Laura?”
Tina nodded, “Just to take the heat off. Be seen around the place together a few times, you'll be working together anyway, so it would be easy to arrange.”
Connor sat down, feeling like he had just opened Pandora’s Box. He didn't want to pretend to be in a relationship with Laura, he wanted to be in a relationship with Georgie and he wanted the world to know it. But she hadn't wanted that; she was the one who had wanted to keep it quiet and now she wasn't even talking to him. How had things managed to get so screwed up?
“I don't know,” he finally said, “I need to discuss it with Georgie first.”
It felt disrespectful to even be considering it and he had to wonder what Laura’s guy felt about it. Would the other man be happy seeing photos of Connor and Laura together and hearing speculation about a renewed romance? He didn't think so, he wouldn't be happy with that if the situation was reversed.
Without even talking to her, Connor knew Georgie would not be happy with this. If she wasn't talking to him over what had happened at the press conference, then she definitely wouldn't be happy with the rumours that he was back with Laura.
Connor shook his head. “You know what, Tina?” he said, “I'm not even going to ask Georgie because I know what her answer would be.”
“So you're going to do it?”
“No,” he replied, “I don't want the world to think I'm dating Laura. I don't want to hurt Georgie that way.”
“You know the rumours are already out there and that you started them?”
He sighed heavily, “I know, but I don't want to feed them. If I can't be with Georgie then I don't want to be with anyone. Besides, the next few months are going to be crazy. The shooting schedule for the movie is insane and then I barely take a breath before I'm back here for the new project. I don't have time to have a fake relationship and a real one.”
“Okay,” Tina said, “I'll let Jim know.”
She walked outside to make the call and Ike slapped a big hand on his shoulder.
“You're doing the right thing,” he said.
“Thanks,” Connor replied but he didn't feel any better for it.
If only Georgie would let him explain. He tried to do the right thing by her, he'd tried to do what she asked and he really didn't understand why she was mad. The best way to get the press off their backs was to totally shut down any speculation, which is what he'd done. Didn't she realise that? Couldn't she tell when he was acting?
He picked up his phone and tried calling her again but it went straight to message bank. He sent her a text, begging to see her, but he knew she wouldn't reply. Hadn't she promised not to run? But that was exactly what she was doing. He would wait a couple of days to let everything settle down and then he would go and see her and he would make sure she couldn't avoid him this time.
15
It was murder waiting the two days, but the last thing Connor wanted was to scare her away. If she needed time, then he would give her time, but not forever. And just because he didn't go and see her didn't mean that he left her alone entirely. He texted her several times a day, at first to explain why he was giving her space and then just to make sure she knew he was still interested in her. She didn't acknowledge his texts so he never knew if she even got them but it didn't stop him sending them.
He made Ike go and check on her, just to make sure she hadn't skipped town and that she was okay. The big man had struck up an easy friendship with her and with Millie, surprisingly. As far as he knew, the girls didn't know he worked for Connor or that they were friends, although he was pretty sure Millie had worked out the truth. He was pretty confident that if Georgie knew, she would have sent Ike packing.
In the interim he was kept busy running Gran around as they did final X-rays on her leg and then finally took the cast off. He'd organised a service to come in and clean and look after her for a couple of weeks until she was back to full health so that he didn't worry about her when he left. He also made plans for how to woo Georgie and make her see that everything he'd told her in private had been the truth, regardless of what had been said at the press conference.
He was making the final arrangements when his phone rang. He picked it up, puzzled by the number that was calling him.
“Connor Faulkes.”
“Connor, it's Jerry.”
“Oh hey Jerry.”
Jerry was the producer on the ‘Royal’ movie. He had a string of box office hits and Connor had worked with him before.
“I'm really sorry to do this to you,” he said, “But we need you on set, like, yesterday.”
“I'm booked to fly in early next week.”
“That's not soon enough. The studio is putting pressure on us to get it wrapped up and have shortened our filming schedule by two weeks which means if we don't get started now, we won't get it finished.”
“There are lots of scenes without me in it,” Connor replied, “surely you can shoot around me for a few days.”
“We've done all we can,” he said, “Laura has other commitments that we will be encroaching on if we push back filming. We really need you on a plane ASAP.”
Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Fine,” he said, “send me the details and I'll get there as soon as I can.”
“You're a champ, man,” Jerry said and then hung up. A short while later Connor’s phone beeped with an incoming email. His flight had been booked and he was leaving first thing in the morning. He did not look forward to the twenty-plus hours on the flight but even more disappointing was that his plans for wooing Georgie would be thrown into chaos. He would have to try to see Georgie tonight and explain everything without all the wooing.
With his heart in his throat, he tried calling her. It went straight to voicemail and he cursed under his breath. He got up from the table and grabbed his keys.
“I'm going into town,” he called to his grandmother on the way past the sitting room and she waved goodbye to
him.
He drove down the main street and parked right out the front of Bookish, sitting in his car for a moment psyching himself up. He didn't know how she would take his just turning up, but he had told her that he wouldn't stay away forever. He had a moment of panic thinking that he should have brought Ike with him, but the crowds and the press had cleared off after he had made a point of staying out of the public eye.
He took a breath and then headed inside. Millie was standing at the counter and her eyes narrowed and she shoved her hands on her hips when she saw him.
“It's about time you showed up,” she said.
“I wanted to give her space,” he replied.
“Well that was the wrong strategy. All Georgie has ever been given is space. She needed you to be there for her and prove to her that you weren't going anywhere.”
“I'm here now,” he said, “so where is she?”
“Gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“I don't think I should tell you.”
“Come on Millie. I have to leave town tomorrow so if I don't see her today then I don't know when I will.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“Something’s come up with the movie and they need me there earlier than expected. I tried to get them to give a little more time. I had this whole plan worked out to woo her back but now I only have tonight so please, I'm desperate, where is she?”
“She's gone to stay with Kendra on the farm.”
“Kendra lives on a farm?”
Millie nodded and then drew him a mud map giving him directions.
He ran to his car and immediately headed towards the outskirts of town. By the time he reached the farm, it was just on dusk.
He drove through the gates to Cooringah Downs Station and realised the ‘farm’ had been a misnomer. Cooringah Downs was no more a farm than he was a farmer.
The property was huge. The driveway alone was five kilometres and when he pulled up at the homestead, he had to stop and stare like a tourist. It was magnificent and huge and he felt decidedly underdressed. The place gave off an air of old time glamour and he expected to be met by a valet or a butler. But neither appeared, so he parked his truck and climbed out. The path to the house was lit with soft lights and the gardens that edged it were overflowing with native shrubs that were carefully trimmed so as not to impede passage.
He climbed the five stairs to the large wraparound veranda and knocked on the double wide door complete with lead-light inset. It took a while for the door to be opened but when it did, he was surprised to see Kendra.
She shrugged, “Millie texted me and told me you were coming. She's in the library.”
Connor followed Kendra through the house, barely keeping himself from gaping at the splendour. How had he not known that Kendra was from Cooringah Downs? How had he not known that Cooringah Downs even existed?
Kendra opened a door and ushered him inside, closing it behind him and leaving him alone with Georgie. She looked up from the book she was reading and her face paled.
He walked towards her, determined to not let her get away from him before he had a chance to say what he needed to. He couldn't leave without her knowing just how he felt about her.
“Hey,” he said, sitting down opposite her.
“Hey,” she whispered, closing the book in her lap.
“You've been avoiding me,” he said.
She looked down at her lap and shrugged. “I didn't think you wanted to see me.”
“I've been texting and calling you,” his frustration evident in his voice, “but you never replied.”
“I've had my phone turned off.”
“Georgie,” he said, “Why did you run? You promised me you wouldn't.”
“I heard what you said, Connor. I heard all about how I was ‘of no consequence’ to you. I heard about your co-star and how you were looking forward to getting ‘reacquainted’ with her.”
“I only said those things because you wanted me to,” he stood to pace. “I knew you wanted the press to back off, so I made it so they did. How can you be angry with me for that?”
“You made me sound like a nobody. You made me out to be of little value or interest to you. You couldn't have just said I was a friend? You had to take it one step further and tell them I was nothing to you?”
“I thought that was what you wanted,” he replied, but she wasn't listening.
“And then there was that whole thing about Laura Lovey. You never once mentioned that you would be working with her in all the conversations we had about the movie. Don't you think I deserved to know that?”
“I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was a big deal, plus I thought you already knew—”
“But the thing that hurt the most was that you sounded so convincing, almost like everything you were saying was true. And that got me thinking—”
“I'm an actor, Georgie, that's what I do. I had to sell it, I had to make them believe—”
“But that's the thing, how do I know what is truth and what is acting? How do I know that the things you said to me were real?”
“How can you doubt us?” he asked going to his knees in front of her and taking her hands in his. “How can you take a few minutes of a press conference and let it wipe out everything that we shared?”
She was quiet while she searched his eyes and then her gaze dropped to their hands.
“I want to believe,” she said, “But I've been hurt before and I… I just can't put myself through that again. You’re leaving anyway, there was never going to be any future for us.”
She pulled her hands from his and walked out of the room leaving him staring after her, wondering when the heck his life had gotten so out of control.
“Hey,” Kendra said from the door of the guest room where Georgie had escaped to.
“Hey,” Georgie replied despondently.
Kendra crossed the room and sat next to her on the bed, putting an arm around her.
“You okay?”
Georgie sniffed. “No.”
“Oh, hun.”
“I think I just did a stupid thing,” Georgie said, the hot tears running down her cheeks.
“This is more than a crush, isn't it?”
“Oh God, Kendra. I'm in love with him and I just told him I didn't want anything to do with him.”
“What he did was pretty low—”
“But it was what I wanted. I told him I didn't want anyone to know about us, he was just doing what I asked and then I got upset because he did it so convincingly.”
Georgie cried silently. She had really messed up and had lost the only chance she would ever have of being with Connor all because of her insecurities.
“So what do you want to do?” Kendra asked, “How can we fix this?”
“I don't think we can,” Georgie replied, “What kind of relationship could we have when I'm here and he’s off making movies and hobnobbing with the rich and famous? I'm insecure enough now, but seeing him photographed with other women, more beautiful women, that would kill me.”
“You're going to see that anyway, only now you have no claim over him. How are you going to deal with that?”
“I just won't look.”
Kendra snorted. “You have been following Connor Faulkes’ career for how long? You think you can just turn that off?”
“It will hurt too much.”
“Why don't you go after him and try to fix this? He looked so dejected when he left, can't you at least try?”
Georgie wished she was different, she really did, but loving Connor, being in a relationship with him would take such a big shift in her thinking that she really didn't know if she could do it.
“I can't,” she sniffed, “I want to, but I just can't.”
Kendra stood and paced. “This is because of your parents, isn't it? Are you going to let their poor parenting choices ruin something that had all the hallmarks of being a real-life fairytale?”
“It would just hurt too m
uch,” Georgie said, “I can't risk getting my heart broken.”
“And how is that different to what is happening now? You are already heart broken and you've only really known the guy a couple of weeks. At the moment you have all the pain without all the good stuff. If Connor wants to be with you, why can't you, just for a little while, suspend this belief you have that you're unlovable? Just for a few weeks or a few months? Just choose to believe him instead of what your head is telling you.”
“You make it sound like I have a choice about the way I feel—”
“You do!” Kendra punctuated her remark with raised arms.
“It's easy for you. You grew up here in this beautiful place surrounded by family. You spent birthdays and Christmases and holidays surrounded by people who you love and who love you. You can't understand what it is like for me. My parents would rather be anywhere else but in the same locale as me.”
“And that says way more about them than it does about you, can't you see that? I love you, Millie loves you, the whole freaking town loves you. Your parents were awful care givers and that's on them. Their actions are on their heads, not yours. Just because they were incapable of love doesn't make you unlovable.”
“But what if it does?” Georgie whispered.
And that was her greatest fear. What if, after all was said and done, she was unlovable? For years she had been trying to tell herself all the things that Kendra was saying, that her parents were in the wrong and their behaviour had no bearing on who she was as a person. But what if her parents were right? What if she was a person not worthy of the love and attention of others?
Sure, logically when she looked at it with a rational mind, it sounded ridiculous. But deep down inside her where her core beliefs lived, there was a part of her that felt like she was unworthy of love and that core belief ruled her life. It was a hard thing to let go of. It was a belief that was so ingrained in her that it almost felt like she would never be free of it, which was a huge problem.
“Even if I went after him,” she said to Kendra, “Even if I tried, this ugliness inside me would tear me apart. I would never trust his feelings for me, I would always be second guessing them or asking for validation of them. It would be a disaster for both of us. You can't base a relationship on a foundation that is so very broken.”