We all got in line in order of where we would sit at the table on- stage and waited for our cue to walk out. We entered the room to polite applause and found our seats. I was in the seat second closest to the podium at stage left and Olivier Knox, a reporter for Sirius Radio and the incoming WHCA president, was on my right. Jonathan Karl from ABC News, who was next in line to be WHCA president after Olivier, sat on my left. I knew both of them and we chatted easily as we waited for the program to begin. The servers weren’t quick to refill the wineglasses and Olivier assured us that would not be the case next year when he was president!
Part of the program was to honor the journalists selected by the WHCA for their work that year and the students. As each journalist’s name was called out and they made their way to the stage the room would stand and applaud them. There was a video from outgoing Speaker Paul Ryan where he made a joke about his LinkedIn page and smoking pot, a few reporters made remarks about “Me Too,” but the real focus of the dinner program was the keynote speaker—Michelle Wolf.
I sat quietly onstage as Michelle Wolf only a few feet away from me repeatedly mocked my appearance and attacked my integrity. It wasn’t funny—it was cruel. She went on to make awful comments about the president, the vice president, and several other White House officials. As I sat listening to her hateful comments, I debated walking out or perhaps even throwing my wineglass at her. But ultimately I stayed in my seat and held my head high.
Even though Bryan was seated with Margaret’s colleagues from Bloomberg at the center table directly in front of the stage, I couldn’t see his face or his reaction. Few people in the room were laughing, and most appeared to be in shock. I found out later that Margaret was nearly in tears when she approached Bryan after the event, at a total loss for words. To their credit, many of the White House correspondents were appalled. The White House Correspondents’ Association should not have invited Michelle Wolf to speak at the dinner and they recognized just how damaging it was to the media’s credibility to have given Michelle a major platform to maliciously attack me and other women in the White House, just moments after other reporters onstage had lectured us about women’s empowerment in the “Me Too” era.
The easy thing to do would have been to walk off the stage, or go home after the dinner, but Bryan and I agreed it would be better to send a message that I was not going to be bullied or intimidated. I wouldn’t let her nastiness get to me or define me. We went with several of our friends to the after-party hosted by NBC and stayed until last call. Many reporters, including CNN’s Don Lemon and his partner, were gracious and apologetic that night. It had been an epic fail for the White House Correspondents’ Association. I didn’t want it to be, but it was, and everyone knew it.
The next morning Axios’s Mike Allen summarized the evening in his newsletter read by Washington’s political and media elite:
The White House Correspondents’ Dinner ended with a barrage of vulgar anti-Trump jokes by comedian Michelle Wolf, who attacked the appearance of White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, who was sitting with her at the head table.…
Why it matters: If the dinner can only attract liberal presidents and liberal comedians, the conclusion is inevitable.
How things went off the rails:
The Gridiron Club, which hosts another major dinner for Washington reporters, has a rule for its roasters: “Singe, don’t burn.”
And one guest told me a good rule of thumb for comedy is not to attack how people look or who they are.
Wolf—an alumnus of The Daily Show who has a Netflix talk show coming May 27—didn’t follow either of those …
New York Times’ Maggie Haberman: “That @PressSec sat and absorbed intense criticism of her physical appearance, her job performance, and so forth, instead of walking out, on national television, was impressive.”
Trump held a counterprogramming rally in Washington Township, Michigan, where he said:
You may have heard I was invited to another event tonight, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. But I’d much rather be at Washington, Michigan, than in Washington, DC, right now—that I can tell you. [Cheers]
The bottom line: Watch for big debate whether to end the dinner as we know it, and whether some news organizations announce they will no longer attend.
The fallout after the correspondents’ dinner was intense. The clip of me staring at Wolf as she trashed me played over and over on TV for days. I felt like everywhere I turned, it was on. I did my first interview after the dinner on Fox & Friends and said, “That evening says a whole lot more about her than it does about me. I am very proud of the fact that I work in this administration for this president, and we’re going to keep pushing forward.”
I am well aware that I am not perfect—far from it. I made mistakes in the White House, but I learned from those mistakes and got better. I was committed to my job, loyal to the president, and determined to serve the country I love. Being the White House press secretary for President Trump was a tough job. In the darkest moments I questioned how much more our family could endure and at what cost. But knowing that I had the president’s trust, a loyal team fighting with me, a family who loved me, and a faith that defined me and gave me purpose made the worst days manageable. Through it all, I learned to put my trust more completely in God, who even in the midst of tremendous adversity is always in control. And if God is willing to forgive me, again and again, unconditionally, for my mistakes—surely I can extend that same grace to others. I was not going to be consumed with anger or bitterness at my critics and I sure as hell was not going to be a victim. I’d have to trust in God and keep fighting.
6
Fire and Fury
In the spring of 2018, US and North Korean officials negotiated a potential summit between President Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. A summit between the American and North Korean leaders would be a historic first—and unthinkable to many who feared the two countries were on the verge of war.
After President Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016, President Obama warned him that North Korea was the most dangerous threat to the United States and encouraged him to make it a top foreign policy priority. The Trump administration settled on a policy of “maximum pressure,” and in his first year in office President Trump achieved a major diplomatic victory when the UN Security Council voted 15–0 for aggressive new sanctions against North Korea.
It was August 2017—a slow, hot, and humid month in Washington. I had only been White House press secretary a few weeks. Congress was on recess and the West Wing was under renovation. I traveled with the president to his private club and residence in Bedminster, New Jersey. Set in the serene countryside, Bedminster was a beautifully kept and elegant club, with a friendly membership who mostly kept to themselves. For those who have only experienced New Jersey from the turnpike, you certainly wouldn’t recognize you were in the same state. The rooms were housed in all-white buildings, including the president’s villa, surrounded by the oversized pool, where kids splashed around. Near the residences was a covered poolside café where you could order the “Melania wrap,” “Ivanka salad,” or the president’s favorite: hot cast-iron skillet chocolate chip cookie covered with ice cream. On more than one occasion, when a group of us were seated at one of the outdoor tables at the café, a waiter surprised us with hot cast-iron skillet ice-cream cookies sent over by the president. He was always hosting and entertaining at Bedminster, and loved to be out and about mingling with members of the club and their families. Sometimes he even invited the traveling press pool to come and dine there. The entire pool and residence area was surrounded by the stunning golf course, set to host a major—the Men’s PGA Championship—in 2022. In back of the residences was a parking lot with a food truck for staff and Secret Service as well as a playground and basketball court. Up the hill from the pool and residences was the main clubhouse—a beautiful Georgian-style mansion that was previously the home of John DeLorean, maker of the DeLorean sports car
featured in Back to the Future. Jared and Ivanka had their wedding there.
Unfortunately we didn’t get much of a break that August. North Korea threatened retaliation for the new UN sanctions and at Bedminster, the president said, “North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.”
The chances of military conflict with North Korea were escalating and many feared an outbreak of war. Upon our return to Washington, North Korea conducted another nuclear test. I attended an emergency principals small group meeting on North Korea in the White House Situation Room. The White House Situation Room was not just one room, but several. There were multiple meeting rooms and a main control center where members of the military and the National Security Council gathered and received intelligence, monitored crises around the world, and provided support to White House staff on a number of national security matters. The Situation Room staff also compiled and handled the dissemination of the Morning Book, an intelligence report given to the president, vice president, White House chief of staff, and national security advisor. They also put together morning and evening summaries, hand-delivered to a few senior officials around the building, myself included. Reading the morning and evening summaries from the Situation Room staff was a sobering way to start and end the day. The primary meeting room for the president in the Situation Room was the John F. Kennedy Conference Room. It had a large table in the middle of the room that seated fourteen in large black leather chairs, with rows of smaller leather chairs on each side of the room lined against the wall for additional staff to participate in meetings. Seats were designated by protocol order. Whoever chaired the meeting always sat at the head of the table. Any time the president was present that was his seat. A Presidential Seal hung on the wall behind the president’s seat and clocks set to different times in key locations around the world adorned the other wall. There was a large screen in front of the table used for secure video conferencing and to present briefing materials to the group. There were no windows in the Situation Room, and phones and computers were strictly prohibited.
At the table in the Situation Room sat Chief of Staff John Kelly, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, CIA Director Mike Pompeo, National Security Advisor H. R. McMaster, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Joseph Dunford, Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley, and me. The president was given the threat assessment and options to respond from his national security team. We discussed how strong the administration’s statement should be, who it should come from, and whether it should be issued in writing or on camera. I hadn’t said much since the meeting started, but the president suddenly turned to me and asked me what he should do. I said I liked the idea of delivering a simple, clear message on camera from the White House because it would present a unified front from the administration and command more media attention than a written or on-camera statement from State or DOD. The president agreed and we spent the last part of the meeting finalizing the statement that would be delivered outside the West Wing by General Mattis, with General Dunford standing beside him. Having two distinguished military leaders issue the statement would project strength and confidence to the world and especially North Korea.
We wanted the leadership of North Korea to understand clearly that America wasn’t going to be bullied. They were threatening the strongest military on the face of the earth, and if they started a war against the United States it would end in their deaths. General Mattis delivered the statement, which included a line I wrote: “Because we are not looking to the total annihilation of a country, namely North Korea. But as I said, we have many options to do so.” Afterward General Mattis turned to me and said, “You’re tough. The only job in the administration I’d want less than mine is yours.”
Days later we headed to the United Nations. It was the president’s first trip back to New York since his inauguration and his first time to speak at the UN. The president ratcheted up his maximum pressure campaign against North Korea: “Rocket man is on a suicide mission for himself and his regime.… If the righteous many do not confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph.”
North Korea also dominated the agenda on the president’s first trip to Asia, which lasted twelve days and marked the longest foreign trip ever taken by an American president. At the South Korea State Dinner hosted by President Moon Jae-in at the Blue House, we were served grilled sole from Geoje Island, the hometown of President Moon, with brown bean sauce consommé and pine mushroom rice in a stone pot, accompanied by grilled Korean beef ribs, seasoned with a special sauce made with a 360-year-old soy sauce, a delicacy in South Korea. I was enjoying my dinner when a member of the Secret Service tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to step out. I was escorted to “the Beast,” the presidential limousine. Along with Air Force One, the Beast was one of the cooler perks that comes with the job of being president.
I was joined in the Beast by Dan Scavino, Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin, and Head of the Presidential Protection Detail Tony Ornato. Joe Hagin had served nearly all eight years in the Bush administration as the deputy chief of staff and had come back to the White House to help President Trump. It would be nearly impossible to find someone who knew as much about White House and presidential operations as Joe. His job was to oversee every movement the president made, as well as his family and staff, and to keep all of us safe and on schedule. Joe also oversaw all White House administrative staff and personnel. It was a huge job and one he did exceptionally well. Joe was a quiet guy who didn’t like the attention but was one of the smartest hires the president made early on in the administration.
I didn’t expect good news when I was asked to step out of the state dinner with President Moon and into the Beast that night, but having Scavino, Hagin, and Tony there helped ease my nerves. Hagin and Tony walked Scavino and me through our plan to travel to the DMZ early the next morning. We discussed how I would brief the press and what information I was allowed to share with them. I was given very strict instructions to not verbally give the location away or send anything electronically out of fear it would be picked up by foreign surveillance. We walked through what the stop would look like. I asked a few questions and then got out of the Beast and walked back in and took my seat at the dinner as if I had not just been briefed about our secret trip to one of the most dangerous and heavily militarized areas in the world in only a few hours.
The next morning the media pool report stated: “Your pool was summoned earlier than originally scheduled Wednesday and briefed by Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders about the president’s surprise trip to the Demilitarized Zone. ‘This is where we’re going,’ Ms. Sanders said, holding up a piece of notepaper on which the letters ‘DMZ’ were scrawled. She said that was the way she had been instructed to alert us to our destination.…”
I boarded a Chinook helicopter along with Stephen Miller, Secret Service, and members of the US Army. It was much colder than I had anticipated and I immediately regretted not packing a heavy coat. Wearing only a thin dress, I was freezing. Thankfully US Army Chief Warrant Officer Bobby Zizelman was one of the pilots on my helicopter and after he noticed me shivering he handed me his camouflage army jacket. I thanked him, wrapped myself in it, and moved closer to Secret Service agent Colin Johnson, who was seated next to me.
Colin was one of the biggest guys I’d ever met, with an even bigger heart. His fellow agents referred to him as “the Eclipse” because he stood six-foot-seven and weighed about three hundred pounds. I don’t think an ounce of that three hundred pounds was body fat—Colin was absolutely ripped, and looked like an action hero straight out of Hollywood central casting. He was assigned to General John Kelly’s detail and was a dedicated Secret Service agent for twenty years and a former marine. Colin’s kindness was infectious, to meet him was to love him. Colin shielded me from the bitter cold near the DMZ that day. Another time he shielded me, Hope Hicks, and Dina Powell from be
ing pelted with chunks of ice and snow as Marine One landed. He turned his back to flying debris to absorb the beating for all of us. Tragically, Colin was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died in September 2018, six weeks after our trip to Asia, leaving behind his wife, Fanny, and two beautiful little boys, Maximo and Magnus. I, along with many of my colleagues from the White House, as well as former staff from the Obama and Bush administrations, attended his funeral. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Colin was loved by all. Former White House chief of staff to President George W. Bush Josh Bolten, like Colin an avid motorcyclist, led a group of bikers down Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House as a tribute to Colin following his funeral.
The media pool report from near the DMZ continued: “a half-dozen camouflage-clad guys in tactical gear were seated at the back of your press pool’s bird, closest to the open back door. Wheels up at 7:43 a.m. The skyscrapers and dense neighborhoods of Seoul were barely visible through thick fog as we lifted.…”
As we approached the DMZ, a bad weather call forced us to turn back. We had been less than five minutes from the landing zone in the DMZ. Upon our return to Yongsan, I got into the Beast along with General Kelly to discuss the situation with the president. Our very unhappy commander in chief waited for more than an hour hoping the fog would clear so we could try again. I briefed the press while still wearing Officer Zizelman’s army jacket, and during our informal gaggle on the military base the press photographers snapped several shots of me in the jacket. Back in the United States, liberals erupted in fury that I was wearing a military jacket, again demonstrating there may be nothing—not even a simple act of kindness from an army officer—that won’t trigger outrage from liberals against the Trump administration. A year later on a different trip to Japan with the president I boarded another army Chinook helicopter. As I sat down in my seat, I noticed one of the flight operators waving at me. I waved back, but he kept trying to get my attention. He wasn’t too far away from me, but it was too loud on the helicopter to hear anything. Finally he held up his army jacket and pointed to the name on the left side: “Zizelman.”
Speaking for Myself Page 12