Her knees felt weak. She sat on the edge of the tub and placed her head in her hands. She shivered against the emotions that continued to assail her. Analytics. That was what she needed. Facts and absolutes, truths to weigh down the wild emotions licking at her raw nerves. Truths to silence the fears and keep them at a manageable noise level. She lifted her head and wrapped her arms around herself before she closed her eyes and made a mental list. Fact – she was alive. Today’s events had been traumatic and horrifying, but she’d survived. Fact – she had Drake to take care of her. He was extremely well qualified if the events of the day were to be taken as testimony of his capabilities. He recognized what was happening and reacted. No, that wasn’t right. He acted. He called in reinforcements, told them where the threat was coming from and worked with his organization through the entire event while keeping her grounded and sane. He was more than qualified. Fact – she had to deal with the upcoming days. There was no alternative. Fact – she needed to see this event through to the end because she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life cooped up in a lab, afraid of her shadow. She had enough money to live comfortably. She could travel. A fine sheen of apprehension fell over her like it always did. No, she didn’t like to travel. She always felt alone and vulnerable. Bravery wasn’t her forte.
Jillian examined her cuticles as she pondered what she really wanted to do with her life. Stupid, silly dreams flew forward from the recesses of her mind. They landed on a perch she’d forced them to abandon years ago. She wanted what her brother had found. She wanted a husband, babies, a white picket fence, and maybe a dog or a cat. She wanted an SUV with the cheesy white stick figures of a mommy, daddy, little boy, little girl, dog and cat on the back window. Hell, she’d even learn the rules to soccer. She longed for a man that would love her, for just being herself.
A silent chuckle erupted. Foolish dreams. Silly Jilly. God, Sarah Jane had tagged her correctly all those years ago. She wasn’t supposed to want domesticity. She was a successful professional. A leading female researcher in a field inundated with men. What she was supposed to want were success, recognition, and accolades. But all of those things were hollow when you lived in solitude—no one with whom to celebrate your successes, no one to rejoice in your recognition, and no one to be proud of your accolades.
A knock at the door startled her. She jumped up and grasped at her chest. Her reflection in the mirror stared back at her.
“Jilly, you okay?” Drake’s voice from behind the door reached her from behind the door.
Silly Jilly. She needed to remember that all she was to Drake was Silly Jilly. She drew a deep breath and then another. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just needed a minute.”
“You know, I’ve been where you’re at.”
Jillian glanced at her feet and then at her reflection. “You’ve been in Cliff’s bathroom?”
A chuff of laughter rolled toward her. “No, I meant I’ve had people shooting at me, trying to kill me.”
Jillian padded over to the door and unlocked it. She opened it and leaned against the door jamb as she stared at the man leaning against the hallway wall. “You mean in the military?”
Drake gave her a sad smile. “Before and after that, actually.”
“Before?” When would that have happened? Before they met at school? “You must have been just a boy.”
“Yes. Uncle Bob moved Dixon and me to Louisville, Kentucky after it happened. The act never makes sense. No matter how hard you try, you can’t rationalize it.”
“But how do I…” She stopped and ran her hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face. “How do I walk out of this room? The people who wanted me dead are still out there. What if they come after me here? What if you or Cliff gets hurt?” She lifted a hand and wiped away a tear that escaped. “What if he succeeds next time?” She blinked hard and tried to swallow the fear. “I don’t want to die.” The fears she’d been trying to ignore slammed forward, smashing against her like a sledgehammer. She found herself wrapped up in his arms. Her tears fell unabated as he rocked her back and forth.
“I’m not going to let that happen. The person who shot at you today was probably hired by someone who wanted your invention to go away. What they don’t know is Guardian is now on your side. I won’t leave you until I know you’re safe. There are city cops posted at the front and rear of the house. Guardian has assets that will take over from them tonight. They are about an hour away. They will make sure we are safe tonight and escort us to the airport in the morning. I’m not a personal security specialist, but I swear I will fuck up anyone that comes after you.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and set her back, forcing her to look up at him. He smiled and winked. “I promise I will take care of you, my Silly Jilly.”
That damn name. She slapped his shoulder without any force and groaned. “Stop calling me that.”
He laughed and motioned with his head out toward the hall. “Cliff is worried. I told him you’d need some time to process what happened. He’s downstairs cooking dinner.”
“He’s been so good to me. I didn’t want him to make a big deal out of this. If he hadn’t...” She wiped her cheeks again and sniffed back the remains of her breakdown.
“But he did call. You can drive yourself insane looking at what might have happened. Besides, the way he tells it, you and Matt saved his life.” They walked down the hall together.
Cliff’d been amazing to her and her brother, but she could see his point. “I guess we have a symbiotic relationship. We thrived off the love he gave us, and he needed someone to love him back.” She stopped and gazed up at Drake. “How have you been? Have you and Dixon started families?”
If she hadn’t been watching, she’d have missed his pained look. He played it off well by shrugging and motioning toward the stairs that would lead them downstairs. She placed a hand on his arm stilling him. “You were always taking care of him. Did something happen?”
Drake shook his head. “No, our lives have been filled with wonderful people, but we haven’t found that special person.”
“Person?” She blinked up at him, “As in…”
A blush crept up Drake’s neck. “We’ve discussed settling down in a relationship with one woman. You know us. I'm assuming you remember how close we are. We've watched the people we care the most about find that one special person. We want that.”
"Together? You don't think you could each find someone?" It was literally the most important question she could think to ask.
He shrugged, and his blush deepened. "Maybe. I think we are both open to it, but we haven't closed the door to a single woman. Even after all the shit we went through, we are both romantics. If you tell anyone that, I'll deny it."
A glimmer of hope peeked through her anxiety and apprehension. “But you haven’t found her yet?” Her muscles relaxed when he shook his head, and inwardly chided herself when she'd realized she'd done so. If she couldn't get over her hero-worship, she deserved her nickname. Jillian grasped for another subject. “So, you and Dixon live in the Midwest?”
“South Dakota. It's home. We’ve been adopted into a crazy family who’ve taken us under their wing. It’s nice.” He smiled and winked at her, “But, Dixon and I have always taken care of each other and made a home wherever we landed.”
“True, but it was always you who gave up what he wanted to make sure Dixon was happy.” He started to shake his head, but she stopped his response. “I saw you, Drake. More times than I can count, you deferred to Dixon’s desires. I was there. I saw you abandon your interests to pursue his.”
Drake stared at her for a moment before his eyes softened. “You say that like it was a hardship. It wasn’t. Dixon went through a lot.”
“From what I remember, you both went through hell.” She’d heard bits and pieces over the years, enough to know it was a miracle the twins were functioning adults.
“I’ll admit our childhood wasn’t easy, but through everything, we had each other, even when they…” Drak
e’s gaze shot to the far wall before he continued. “He’s my family. I’d give up anything for him.”
Jillian had seen that selflessness in action. Her teenage life centered on Drake. A wallflower in every sense of the word, she had a front-row seat observing them because Cliff had been a hub in all of their lives. She added, “Or anyone.” Drake’s eyes cut to her, and he cocked his head in question. She chuckled. “You were so gone over Rosalinda Torres. She didn’t like that you spent all your time with Dixon, or heck, even when you spent any time with me. You dropped her like a rock even though I think you liked her more than the other women you dated.”
“Wow. Way-back machine activated.” Drake leaned against the wall and shoved his fingers into his front pockets. “I haven’t thought about Rosalinda in years. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, she was jealous and a royal diva. I was enamored with her. She was probably the first person who liked me but didn’t like Dixon. I can count those people on one hand. We are a team. Where one is, the other isn’t far behind, so yeah, I walked away. Dixon is part of who I am. If you can’t deal with that, you don’t need to be in my life.” He chuckled and pushed off the wall. “What about you? Any significant other out there in California?”
Jillian glanced up at him, and a wave of doubt drizzled over her. “No. My standards are too high to keep a man around.”
“Really?” They started down the stairs together.
“Yep. Nobody has ever measured up to this one guy I was head over heels in love with.” She laughed at her own inside joke. She'd had been so in love with the man beside her—and she was beginning to question the "had been".
“What happened to him?” Drake asked as they stepped down.
“Oh, he joined the military and forgot about me.” She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’ve dated, but…” She shook her head and drew a deep breath. “Nobody’s ever measured up to him.” She nodded toward the kitchen. “I’m going to help Cliff with dinner.” Jillian darted a fast glance at him. She’d never had the guts to actually tell Drake about her crush, but after her life-altering moment today, she wanted him to know how she felt…or used to feel. Jillian spun on her heel. Maybe.
Chapter 6
Drake sipped his coffee and stared out the window watching the sun come up. Two Guardian specialists were somewhere outside the house. Thanks to them, he’d been able to catch several hours sleep after patrolling the interior of the house. He made sure every window was secure, and the doors were locked. The floor above him creaked under someone's footstep. The shower in the bathroom started and drained down a pipe in the kitchen wall. The sounds of the old house surrounded him as Cliff and Jillian woke.
Drake glanced at his watch. He’d let her sleep in because he knew she hadn't slept well. The house was small and old with thin walls. Her light was on after he’d locked up the house and had still been on hours later when he’d done another security check. As he passed by her room he heard the soft sound of her computer keyboard. Thankfully, her light was out, and there were no sounds the third time he made his rounds. Just to make sure, he’d cracked open her door far enough to hear her soft, even breathing. He was the one determining take off time. He'd let her sleep. He pulled out his cell and hit speed dial.
“What’s up?” Jacob answered his personal cell phone immediately.
“We are going to be late arriving at the field.” Drake glanced out the window again as the shower upstairs cut off.
“Problems?” His boss’s immediate concern flew across the connection.
“No. She had a bad night. I let her sleep in.” Drake took a sip of his coffee.
“Roger. We are about an hour away. I’ll drop Mark off, and he can do the pre-flight. Get there when you can. I’ll stick around for a while, but I need to make it to Justin’s before he flies to Chile.”
Drake wondered if Justin was going as a Guardian asset or as a part of his ever-expanding restaurant/real estate empire, but it wasn’t his place to ask. “I hear the wines down there are good.”
“Really? I have no idea. As long as he stocks my cabernet, I’m good. I need him to open a small box of Tori’s before he leaves. The lock is broken. It belonged to her mom, so we don’t want to damage it.”
“Got it. We’ll be leaving here soon. Thanks for sending the assets so I could get some shut eye.”
“Whatever it takes.” Jacob acknowledged his thanks.
“As long as it takes.” Drake hit end on his phone and picked up his coffee cup. Without turning around, he spoke, “You don’t make a very good spy.”
Cliff’s chuckle preceded him into the room. “I was caught in an awkward position. I didn’t want to interrupt a private call, so I waited.”
Drake lifted his cup in acknowledgment before he finished what remained. He moved to the coffee pot and poured himself another. He needed caffeine today.
“She had a bad night?” Cliff pulled a mug out of a cupboard.
“Was up until about three.” Drake moved so Cliff could fill his cup.
“She always did put up a good front. After being shuffled from foster home to foster home, both of those kids learned to hide their feelings.”
“She was always shy.” Drake acknowledged.
“Shy? I guess that is one way to look at it.” His mentor scratched his scruff and shrugged. “Personally, I think Jillian’s just quiet while she waits.”
“Waits? For what?” Drake needed clarification on that point.
“Ah, that’s the question, isn’t it? Would you like my personal opinion?” Cliff sipped a bit of his coffee.
“If it doesn’t betray her trust.” Drake didn’t feel comfortable talking about her without her knowing about it. He was never one to indulge in that type of conversation.
Cliff smiled and winked at him. “I’m not betraying any confidence. She knows I think she’s waiting for the storybook ending.” He laughed and glanced over at Drake. “Hell, she took the entire week off for the last royal wedding and absorbed every detail. My little princess is a dreamer. She’s a romantic, and she’s waiting for her prince to come along and sweep her off her feet.” Cliff opened the refrigerator door. “I’m making omelets. Jillian likes bacon. Is that good for you?” He turned with his arms full of ingredients.
“That works for me.” He moved out of Cliff’s way and leaned against the far counter.
Cliff stilled and stared at the inside of the refrigerator. His voice was low, and the emotion it carried was obvious and heavy. “You’re going to take care of my girl, right?”
“Cliff, I'm not going to attempt to blow smoke up your ass. There are some desperate motherfuckers out there in the world. The advantage Jillian has is that I'm a Guardian. My past is littered with people who underestimated what we are capable of doing. The people I train and work with are better than the totality of the desperation out there. I will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to make sure Jillian stays safe."
Cliff stared at him for a moment before he spoke, “Good. She deserves to be happy.”
“She isn’t?” Drake got the sense last night as they spoke she wasn’t, but he had no evidence, only his gut feeling.
Cliff lifted a whisk from the drawer and glanced at him. “Happy?” He shrugged. “She’s busy. She works, but I don’t think she has many friends. I know she doesn’t date often but to each their own.” Cliff cracked three eggs into the bowl before he glanced at Drake. “You know, she used to have a crush on either you or Dixon. I never could figure out which of the two of you it was.”
Drake blinked at the revelation. “On one of us?” He remembered her always being around, but a crush? Hell, he never saw Jilly act like a love-sick teenager, and between him and Dixon…oh, well that explained it. She must have had a crush on Dixon. That was why he never witnessed anything.
“Oh yeah, and it was bad. When she was a senior in high school, especially. I know she carried that torch well into college, hell, probably until you two graduated and left.” Cliff chuckled
and poured a dollop of cream into the bowl before he started whisking the eggs. “She would never tell us which one of you two she was crushing over, but her brother would tease her about it. Poor Jillian, with her braces, thick glasses and the fact she was all elbows and knees? Hell, she was mortified when we caught on and never would reveal which one of you hung the moon and the stars.”
Drake set his coffee down, suddenly awake and very interested in the conversation. “I had no idea.”
Cliff laughed as he laid strips of bacon into a frying pan. “No doubt. Back then she would have died of embarrassment if she’d thought either of you knew. Today, Jillian is confident in her science and in her profession. In anything else, she’s still that shy, ugly duckling.” Cliff tapped his head. “At least in her own mind. She doesn’t see the beautiful woman she’s become.”
Drake watched Cliff work as he thought back to the words she’d whispered as she’d moved past him yesterday in the lecture hall. Silly Jilly was a teenager. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm all grown up. Oh hell yeah, he noticed. The question was, what did he do with that information? If she’d had a crush on Dixon, would expressing his interest in her be wrong? Yes. He’d never infringe on his brother’s territory. Dixon deserved to be happy, and if Jillian had the potential to make his brother happy, there was no way he’d fuck that up. Hell, did he even need to worry about it though? The answer to that was blatantly obvious. No, he didn’t. He was on a mission. His actions had already been dictated by Guardian. He’d fly her to San Jose and then take her back to the ranch to safeguard her invention and keep her out of harm’s way.
“Good morning.” Jillian smiled and spoke as she entered the kitchen. He lifted his cup in response. A swept back ponytail confined her hair. She wore a pair of stylish, dark-brown framed glasses that bore no resemblance to the ones she’d continually pushed up her nose as a teenager. Dense lenses no longer hid glorious brown eyes. She wore a pair of skin-tight dark jeans that hugged her thighs and ass while perfectly framing her taut body. The clingy long sleeve shirt did nothing to cover her curves. The press of her breasts against the thin material outlined their fullness and accentuated her gorgeous body. His eyes followed her as she bent over searching for something in the refrigerator. Shit. He pulled his attention away from her and straightened, glancing at Cliff to make sure the man hadn’t caught him ogling his daughter’s assets.
Drake (The Kings of Guardian Book 11) Page 5