Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2)

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Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2) Page 8

by L. M. Reid


  Grayson: I did plenty last night.

  Me: New day, new needs.

  There is an extremely long pause before I get a response, so long that it actually has me worried that I may have went too far.

  Grayson: Nothing like giving up a man who wants nothing from you but you, for a man who is essentially making you a whore.

  My body revolts as I read the word, my past haunting me, my anger rising, and the fact that Grayson said it, my heart aches.

  Me: FUCK YOU

  It’s the only response I can muster because the tears are falling too heavily from my eyes to see straight.

  Grayson: Already did. I won’t make that mistake again.

  Cruel punishing words that just tear right through me. My stomach is churning my heart physically aches and the only way I can think to repair any of it is Grayson – the man who did it to me.

  To hell with him. I don’t need him; I don’t need anyone. I have survived all on my own this far. So I wipe away the tears, I put on the dress Elliott sent me, and I resolve to my relationship with Elliott and making the most out of it. Partly for the sake of survival and partly to stick it to Grayson. There is no better revenge than happiness, believe me I know.

  When I arrive at the dock, Elliott is standing at the entrance to the yacht waiting for me. He looks dapper in his black pants and deep green button-down shirt, a stark contrast for him from his typical black suite and white button down. The man is definitely all business, even out of the courtroom.

  Me on the other hand…

  I glance down at the barely there dress and while I’ll give myself credit for rocking it, it makes me feel like exactly what Grayson said I was – a whore. I haven’t worn things like this since I worked for Johnny, since I was stuck in that club doing things that I didn’t want to do just to survive. Kind of like I’m doing now. Elliott is my new Johnny unless I don’t let him be. I need to give the man a chance and try to make the most of my time with him. It doesn’t have to be bad. That is up to me.

  “You look spectacular,” Elliott compliments when I finally reach him.

  I do a slow little twirl so he can see the full picture. “You have amazing taste,” I tell him.

  “That I do,” he agrees.

  Elliott places his hand on the small of my back as he leads me onto the yacht. All eyes are on us we step aboard. It’s not because their impressed with the intelligent woman that Elliott landed. No, it’s because of the woman he landed that’s half his age and practically bursting out of her dress.

  “Elliott, Ashlynn, good to see you,” Alec greets us as we step onto the yacht. He and his wife Cara are hosting tonight’s event.

  Alec is a close friend of Elliott’s. He met Alec several years ago when Alec worked at Cahill, Cahill, and Associates. But unlike Elliott, who wants nothing more than to be the top law firm in the country, Alec had other plans. Plans that went beyond the legal system. Alec’s true passion was investing and gambling. He was damn good at it too, hence the yacht we are currently on. He didn’t purchase it, the man actually won it in a bet against some rich royalty.

  Cara had been a waitress at an event that Cahill threw, and Alec apparently fell in love at first sight. It’s clear that he adores her, whether it’s because she’s half his age, gorgeous, or amazing in bed, I don’t know. But, what I do know is that there is this look in his eye when he watches her – love, adoration. Two things I am certain I will never see from Elliott which is fine by me.

  Elliott and Alec instantly become wrapped up in conversation about business and finances and whatnot. I take the opportunity to sneak off and find Cara. It doesn’t take long to locate her. The moment my eyes fell on the sexy Latin bartender, I knew she would be close by. Making my way over to the plush lounge area, Cara smiles the minute she lays eyes on me.

  “Thank God,” she says as she hops up from her seat. She makes her way to me and flings her arms around me. “This evening has been so boring. Lorenzo, darling, please get Ashlynn and I some champagne,” Cara tells her bartender. “And keep it coming.”

  With our arms linked, she pulls me seating area and we settle in awaiting our drinks. “So, tell me about him,” she says.

  I take the champagne glass that Lorenzo hands me and take a sip. “About who?” I ask, confused.

  “Grayson Cahill,” she swoons. “I heard he’s back in town and hot as hell.”

  “It’s West, actually,” I correct her, though I still don’t know why he has a different last name than his father. Despite my curiosity, I’ve been a little too preoccupied while in his presence to ask. “And he’s okay, I guess.”

  I’m lying through my teeth. But if I so much as give her an inkling that I think he’s hot, she’s going to know that I’m sleeping with him. Or rather that I was because I am not letting that happen again. Not after how he treated me today.

  “You’re hiding something,” she says.

  “I’m not hiding anything,” I reply before downing the rest of my champagne. Where the hell is Lorenzo, anyway? Hadn’t Cara instructed him to keep it coming?

  Just then my phone pings. I glance down at it. Shit, it’s Grayson.

  “You were saying?” Cara laughs having caught a glimpse of my screen.

  “It’s just about work. Elliott is making Grayson and I work together on a case to compete for the open partner position,” I tell her. It’s not a complete lie. We are working together, but I’m certain that is not what the text is about.

  “Wait, so Elliott is forcing you to spend time with his gorgeous son – why the hell would he do that? He’s basically throwing you in the arms of another man. One much younger and much more… firm.”

  I shake my head at Cara. “Elliott has nothing to worry about. Not from Grayson or any other man for that matter.”

  “So nothing is going on between you and the hottie son?” Cara asks seeking confirmation of what she already suspects.

  Thank God Lorenzo finally decides to make his appearance. I didn’t want to lie to her. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her the truth. Lorenzo fills my glass. I down it and have him fill it again before he leaves.

  “We should head back to the guys,” I say already feeling slightly tipsy.

  My phone goes off. Again and again. I read the messages: an apology for earlier. Actually, it is several apologies for earlier, one about how much he wants me, and my favorite the one where he tells me that he hasn’t enjoyed being with a woman as much as he has enjoyed our time together.

  I swoon, I literally swoon at his words when I have never swooned over a man before.

  One more text comes through. I notice Elliott heading my way and read it quickly, though I can’t seem to peel my eyes from it. It’s an extremely detailed recount of exactly how he wants me – what position, where, and what he would do to me. And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make my heart ache and my body instantly horny as hell. Fuck.

  “Everything okay?” Elliott asks as he takes his place next to me.

  I silence my phone and drop it in my purse. “Everything is perfect,” I say with a sugary sweet smile.

  The words Grayson sent still on the forefront of my mind, all of his apologies and sweet words. I’m still angry with him, hurt by the things he said earlier. All of these emotions and feelings and the one person I want to direct them at isn’t here. He can’t be, Ashlynn, I correct myself. Because even though I want Grayson more than my next breath, it’s Elliott that holds my future in his hands. It’s Elliott I’m indebted to.

  “Do you have anything pressing at work?” Elliott asks.

  “Just the case I’m working with Grayson, why?”

  “I just secured a client and need to go out of town to settle things. I need you to join me.”

  Appreciative that he asked about my case load before just making a demand of me, I smile and accept his offer. “So where are we headed to?”

  “New York. We should be back in plenty of time for you and Grayson to put together your defen
se.”

  “Sounds amazing.”

  “Good, we’ll leave immediately after the party.”

  Taking a page from Cara’s book, I resolve to the fact that this is now my life. And if I am stuck in this situation with no way out, then I will just have to make the most of it. I step a little closer, my fingers playing with the buttons on Elliott’s shirt. “What do you say we sneak away and have a private celebration?”

  My stomach churns as I speak the words. But I know this is what I have to do, I need to fully submerge myself in this thing with Elliott if I have any hope of staying away from Grayson. Because once I fall into bed with Elliott, there is no going back. Grayson and I will be over.

  I reach up to kiss him, his hands on my shoulders pressing me back. “Not now. Alec and I have business to take care of before we leave.”

  Without another word, Elliott maneuvers around me and rejoins Alec.

  15

  Grayson

  “How’s everything going?” I ask the computer screen that has Hal’s face on it.

  “Checking up on me? Afraid I’ve put the practice under already?” he laughs.

  I don’t. Because right now, there’s nothing to laugh about or smile about for that matter.

  “Not at all. I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t swamped and needed me. I can come back,” I tell him.

  Give me an excuse to get the fuck out of here Hal. Give me a reason to go home. Keep me from wanting to stay when I shouldn’t.

  “Grayson, you’ve been dying to get back at your father for years. What’s going on?”

  Fucker. It’s like he can read my damn mind.

  “Nothing,” I lie.

  “Come on man, I know you better than that. What’s up?”

  That’s just it. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong. Okay, that’s a lie. What’s wrong is whatever this draw I have to Ashlynn is and how it’s consuming me when I should be doing everything in my power to get rid of it and focus on the task at hand. But I can’t.

  And now, she’s been gone for four days, four excruciating days since I’ve been with her or even heard from her. And that’s how fucked up my thoughts are when I have barely known the woman a fucking week. The last time I saw her I charged into her office, staked a claim on her that I had no right to, then essentially called her a whore when she didn’t just give in to me.

  I tried to apologize, something I never do. Because the things I said, she doesn’t deserve, and I am truly sorry for them. In return, all I got was a text saying she was out of town for a few days and that we could reconvene on the Cole case when she returned. That right there, stung. No mention of us, no forgiveness, just a nod to work. It was her way of telling me we are done and that she’s off somewhere fucking my father.

  I shouldn’t be pissed; I have no right to be. Hell if I’m not though.

  “Just some broad,” I say sounding like the complete dick that I’m not.

  “A broad, huh?” Hal laughs. “Must be a damn good one if she’s got you this worked up. I haven’t seen you like this since…”

  “You can stop right there,” I tell him.

  “I thought you were past that?” His shit-eating grin that says he caught me only irritates me more. But I need this, the distraction that Hal’s voice brings.

  “I am.” Needing desperately to steer the conversation off of Reagan and our demise, I blurt out, “She’s dating my Dad.”

  “Wait, what? Who? The broad? Well, that’s one way to get back at him,” Hal laughs.

  “That is not what’s happening.” I run my hands through my hair. “Fuck, I don’t know what the hell is happening, man. This woman…just, she’s in my head.”

  “And, you can’t get her out?”

  “I don’t know that I want to.”

  My elbows are on my desk, head in my hands as my admission settles over me. I don’t want to not think about her, I don’t want her to be gone. I want the exact opposite. I may have sworn off love, but no way can I swear off anything that involves Ashlynn.

  What I need to do is to think of something, anything to get her away from him.

  “This whole thing is a little convoluted, even for you.”

  “I know, I know. Just please tell me about the practice. Anything. Any client, any case. I need something to keep my mind off of… Ashlynn.”

  The vision of her in my doorway blows me away; her blond hair hanging down, a smile playing on her lips. God, I missed looking at her.

  “Am I interrupting something?” Ashlynn asks.

  “We’ll finish this later,” I tell Hal.

  “Oh, come on. Let me at least…” I slam the computer shut.

  “Let him what?” she asks as she further enters my office.

  The shock of seeing her has worn off and the realization of why I spent four days without her reemerges.

  “What can I do for you?” I ask her.

  She looks surprised by my curtness with her, though I’m not sure why. The last we spoke we were both pissed and despite my best efforts nothing got resolved. Everything just feels like it was left wide open.

  “Is everything okay?” she asks.

  Christ, is she serious? She’s been off God knows where probably screwing my dad every chance she had, and she wants to know if everything is okay? Fuck no, it’s not okay.

  “Everything is great,” I lie through gritted teeth.

  “Okay… well, do you want to get to work? We could go to the library and…”

  “I’ve been trying to get to work for days. But you refused to answer your phone.”

  “I’m sorry, I was…”

  “Fucking my dad?” I shout as I stand from my desk.

  She takes a visible step back, clearly unnerved by my reaction. And fuck, so am I. I don’t have a temper; I don’t do this shit. Fuck.

  “I’m sorry,” I say running my hand through my hair and cursing myself because I know those words are not enough for how I just reacted, not nearly enough to make up for the fear I just placed in her eyes. “I had no right…”

  “Damn straight you had no right. My life is none of your business,” she tells me.

  I nod in agreement because I’m not sure what else to do. She’s right. It’s her life and what she does, I can’t control. It’s also in that moment though that I realize I want to be a part of her life. I want her in my life.

  How the hell do I make that happen though? What about my revenge? What about her promotion? How do I make this work without destroying everything else?

  You don’t, jackass. You cut your losses and move on, focus on the task at hand. Getting back at that old son of a bitch. And maybe then, I can make Ashlynn mine.

  “You’re right. I just… I was worried.”

  “Worried about what?”

  “You.” I shake my head. “Just promise me that you’ll be careful.”

  “Careful? Of what? You’re not making any sense.”

  She may think it doesn’t make sense, but she doesn’t know him the way I do. It’s not my place to tell her though because if I do…

  “When it comes to him… everything.”

  “Grayson?” I hear the question in her voice, but I don’t want to do this anymore. If I can’t have her, if my pleas won’t make her change her mind, then I need to back away. I need leave things the way they are. Co-workers.

  “Just promise me.”

  She continues to stare at me for a moment before nodding. “I will.”

  I swallow hard, trying to accept that fact that the woman standing before me is no longer an option when I had just realized only moments before that she was the only option for me.

  “Where is my dad?”

  “Still out of town. He took a new client on. He’s going to be in and out of town for the next few weeks.”

  I nod. If my head wasn’t so wrapped up in Ashlynn, now would be the perfect time to dig around for what I need on him. I can’t though. I need to get away from here and from her. I need space to sort th
is shit out. Then, when I do, to hell with women. It’s all about revenge.

  “I have something I need to take care of,” I say as I grab my coat off the back of my chair. “Maybe we can meet tomorrow in the library to go over everything.”

  “Grayson.” This time when she says my name it almost sounds like an apology.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell her.

  I walk past her, out of my office, and out into the world. I inhale the fresh air hoping it will cleanse me, make me feel refreshed and renewed. It doesn’t. Nothing gives me that feeling – except Ashlynn. And now, she’s gone.

  ***

  “You look like shit,” Daphne says as she takes a seat next to me at the bar.

  While a part of me wants to be alone to wallow in my self-pity, a part of me is really glad to see her.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asks.

  Yes.

  No.

  “It’s… complicated,” I tell her.

  “Oh, so it’s about a woman,” she says with a knowing smile.

  “Funny,” I reply unamused.

  “I thought you were merely here to take down your dad, destroy him, exact revenge on him and then laugh all the way back home.”

  “I thought so, too. Until I met,” I sigh. “Until I met his girlfriend.”

  Daphne literally spits her drink across the bar. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You heard me just fine. Don’t make me repeat it.”

  “How exactly did that happen?” she asks. Her head is tilted to the side and her eyebrows are raised.

  “It happened by mistake. And it kept happening because… Christ, because she’s fucking amazing, okay?”

  “Easy there,” she laughs. “I’m not judging, I’m just…curious.”

  “Yeah well, whatever it was its over now, nothing to be curious about.”

  “I disagree,” she says. “Now I need to know why it’s over when you clearly don’t want it to be.”

  “Because it’s what she needs.”

  Fuck.

  “What she needs, huh?” I can see the knowing smile on her face. I gave away my feelings with that statement.

 

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