Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2)

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Hard to Trust (Hard to Love Book 2) Page 10

by L. M. Reid


  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. That can’t be easy to see your mother like that.”

  Needing to change the subject I redirect our conversation onto her. If I had to give up my dirty little secrets, she does too. I sit back and study her. “So, tell me, who’s the guy that hurt you and made you not believe in love?”

  Sure, the question has been eating at me. Why the hell a woman like her would settle for nothing more than success and sexual gratification when any man worth a damn would be willing to give her the damn world.

  Her mouth falls lax momentarily before she snaps it shut again. I watch her as she squares her shoulders, the woman with her guard up returning. “For your information, I have never believed in love,” she replies.

  “Why?”

  She falters for a moment at the question, but recovers quickly almost as if she has a standard answer for this question. “Because I don’t have time.”

  I don’t buy her bullshit answer. No one is born not believing in love, it’s a learned response. And if she’s never believed in love, it means it wasn’t just some man that broke her heart. No, it’s something much more. I want to know the truth, I want to know her, but something tells me getting the name of the guy who broke her heart is going to be a lot easier than getting her to give me the reason she’s so against love.

  So, I allow my curiosity about her love life to run the conversation rather than digging to find a truth that I know is hidden deep down. “Come on, what’s his name?”

  “Just someone I used to know,” she replies nonchalantly instilling a laugh from me. “What?”

  “Who…is…he?”

  Her smile tightens and it looks like she’s anticipating the look on my face whenever she drops the info on whoever this guy is. What is she hiding from me? Who the hell is this man?

  “You really want to know?” I nod, curiosity getting the best of me. I want to know everything about this woman. “Logan Miller.”

  “Logan Miller? As in…”

  “The defensive end for the Knights? Yep, the one and only.”

  Well, hell, now she has my curiosity piqued and my insecurities at an all-time high when I am not a man who is ever insecure. But when you’re being compared to a man like Logan Miller? Fuck. That’s going to mess with your head no matter how confident you are. Christ.

  “Logan Miller, the Knights football hero, is your ex?”

  “Not exactly. We’re friends. Well, we were.”

  “How do you meet a guy like that?”

  “We went to college together.”

  “Can you introduce me?” I half joke. The guy is a damn God on the football field and based on the dreamy look in her eyes, off the field too.

  With sadness and tears in her eyes, she begins to turn from me. I grab her arm stopping her. “Tell me, Sweetheart.”

  I don’t know how to convince her she can trust me, so I just look at her, hope and pray she can see it in my face. I’m not here to destroy her; nothing could be further from the case.

  “Why do you care?” she asks.

  That’s a good fucking question. While I can’t figure out the why of it, I just know that I do. I am interested in her beyond reason and willing to let her stand between me and my goal. Still, one look into her eyes and I wouldn’t have it any other way. “I don’t know, but I do.”

  She takes a deep breath and exhales, her eyes trained on her glass, her fingers sliding around the rim of it. “Logan and I had a class together and we ended up becoming friends. He had just lost his girlfriend and I was focused on school and my career so we just made sense. Sex without strings, a friend with benefits thing, you know?” I nod and I hate it. She deserves better than that, even if it’s what she thought she wanted at the time and I instantly hate this guy. “After college, we went our separate ways. But I never stopped thinking about him, wanting him. So, last year, I decided to go see him, tell him how I really felt about him.”

  “And?”

  “And, he was already with someone. Not just any someone either, but the woman of his dreams. He had been pining away for her since college. I just never thought that… I don’t know what I thought. Anyway, they are together, they are happy. I’m okay with that. I just don’t think there is anyone else out there for me.”

  “Have you given anyone else a chance?” I ask. Like me? I think as I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

  “I haven’t wanted to. What about you?” she asks.

  “What about me?” I ask the question even though I already know what she’s asking. Thing is, I don’t want to talk about it. I would much rather forget about Reagan and how badly I handled that situation and instead focus on Ashlynn and not screwing this up. However fucked up this situation is, the last thing I want is for her to get caught in the crossfire.

  Luckily, I’m saved momentarily by the waitress bringing our food. I had forgotten how hungry I was and begin to dig in instantly. I take a bite, savoring the flavor of the Mexican cuisine. “You have to try this, it’s amazing.”

  I extend the taco to her. She takes a bite, her lips brushing my fingers as she does. The insignificant touch sets me on fire. My eyes are glued to her as she licks the sauce from her lips. Christ how I wish she would let me get it for her.

  “Mmmm...” She emits the satisfied sound and all I can think of is how I can make her make more of them. “So, have you ever been in love?”

  I give her the most evasive answer I can think of. “The answer is yes. And to answer your next question, yes, I am the one that fucked it up.”

  “How?”

  “Let’s file that one under the secrets we don’t want to share category.” I finish my drink and step out of the booth. “Come on, let me drive you home.”

  Despite her protests, she lets me and even lets me walk her to her door. “I’m meeting with Ivan tomorrow. I’ll…”

  “You’re what?” I ask.

  “Elliott asked me to meet with him,” she replies. “I promise I will tell you everything that happens.”

  “No need, I’m going with,” I tell her.

  She presses her hand to my chest. “Elliott wants me to go. Alone. He says that it’s a good learning opportunity for me. I really think that we should stick to doing whatever tasks he wants us to complete the way he wants us too. Going against him is only going to…”

  I don’t give a damn about what good old Elliott might think. I’m furious that he would even think to send her to meet with Ivan alone. “You are not meeting with that lunatic by yourself.”

  No, I don’t give a damn about the case or who wins this portion of dear old dad’s competition. I refuse to let her put herself in danger like that. No way. Not happening.

  “Grayson…”

  “You can Grayson me all you want, Sweetheart, it’s not happening. I can’t believe he would even suggest you go there on your own. We don’t know this guy, not a damn thing about him except that he’s probably guilty.” I step closer to her, my hand touching the smooth skin on her cheek. “He doesn’t need to know I was there. Please, Ash. I can’t risk anything happening to you.”

  A week. A damn week and a few rounds of sex and I am putting myself on the line for this woman. Fuck me if every time I look in her eyes, I want to do anything but.

  “Kiss me,” she replies.

  “Tell me I can go.”

  “You can come,” she says with a hint of a smile. The double entendre is not lost on me. “Now, kiss me.”

  I press my lips to her cheek. “Sorry, that would violate the friendship rules.” Ashlynn lets out a huff. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say with a laugh as I walk away.

  17

  Ashlynn

  I toss the blue dress onto the bed. It’s not right for today. But what is? What exactly does one wear to meet with a murderer?

  I sort through the pile of clothes that are splayed across the bed. I’ve tried on more outfits this morning than I have all week. Okay, so my clothing dilemma might be a little less abou
t meeting my client and more related to Grayson going with me, but still.

  I’ve defended a lot of people in my career, bad people. Never the caliber of Ivan Cole though. Just thinking about him gives me chills, hence why I nearly jump out of my skin when there is a knock at my door.

  I sigh, relieved when I see Grayson through the peep hole. I’m not sure what I was expecting. It’s not as though Ivan has my address or is even free in order to wind up on my doorstep. No, he’s behind bars. Until I get him set free at least. The idea terrifies me. What will doing my job do to the greater population? Letting this psycho go, allowing him to be free.

  I never considered the ramifications of my job, my defending these people. Until now. Not until Grayson made me think about it.

  “Come on in,” I say as I open the door for him.

  He’s decked out in a gray suit, with a light blue shirt underneath. The color looks amazing and is a great contrast to the green of his eyes. It’s got me stopped in my tracks and staring.

  Amusement dances in his eyes and I can’t help but wonder what is going on in that mind of his. I watch as his eyes run the length of my body.

  “As much as I’m enjoying the view Sweetheart, don’t you think that you should put some clothes on?” he asks.

  Shit. I look down at my body that is wrapped in nothing more than a towel. I hadn’t been thinking when I went to check the door and opened it. When I look back up at Grayson, hands shoved in his pockets eyes filled with longing, I consider letting the material drop to the floor. It’s been over a week since Grayson and I last connected and my body, mind, and soul are craving him.

  “I’m not going to be able to control myself much longer and we have a date with a devil,” he tells me.

  His words pull me out of my sex driven stupor and I visibly shutter at the thought of Ivan. I’ve been dreading this meeting since Elliot mentioned it, though knowing Grayson would be there made me feel slightly better.

  Grayson notices and his strong hands reach up and touch my arms, softly caressing them. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. I will be by your side the whole time.”

  I don’t know why this man I barely know has such a comforting effect on me. “Why are you so nice to me? I’m your competition.”

  “Just because we’re going after the same thing, doesn’t mean I can’t like you. Two separate entities.”

  “You liking me, it scares me,” I admit.

  “It should,” he replies with a mischievous grin on his face. “Go get ready.”

  I turn and begin to walk away. As I do, I let the towel fall to the ground because I just can’t seem to help myself.

  “You play dirty, Sweetheart,” he says with huskiness to his voice.

  “Damn right I do,” I say with a laugh.

  ***

  An hour later we are sitting outside the room where we are meeting with Ivan. The car ride here had been silent. Grayson seemed on edge and despite my little tease with dropping my towel, I am petrified.

  I have dealt with more than my fair share of creepy men, all of my mother’s boyfriends included, but even Johnny, the worst of the worst, didn’t make me feel the way Ivan does. There is something about the look in his eyes, how they are void of emotion, that tells me this man is evil and he doesn’t give a damn. There are no signs of a heart, or conscience. I assume most people capable of murder have the same look in their eyes, but in those cases I’m not the one defending them, I’m not the one that has to sit across the table from them and look at them.

  The fact that his victims are women; women who he may or may not have sexually assaulted, only adds to my fear. Men like that, ones that prey on women, don’t take no for an answer – those men I have been around. And the combination of the two is fucking lethal.

  Sitting here, despite Grayson’s presence, I fidget my breaths quickening and my palms sweating. I close my eyes trying to calm myself.

  I can feel the heat of Grayson’s breath near my ear, his voice nothing more than a whisper, “It’s not nice to tease me like that.”

  His words are playful and manage to do exactly what I know he sought out to do – relax me.

  “Whatever are you talking about?” I ask innocently.

  “Innocent isn’t becoming on you,” he tells me.

  My eyes fly open and I feign shock at his statement.

  “You’re trying to distract me, aren’t you?” I ask.

  “Is it working?”

  Before I can answer him, the door next to me opens. My body jolts at the sound, my hands trembling. Grayson’s hand, strong and steady, covers my trembling ones.

  “You can come in,” the officer informs us.

  “You’ve got this,” Grayson encourages. “I will be right by your side the whole time.”

  I give him a slight smile, silently thanking him for being here. I stand, square my shoulders and move into the room. The weight of Ivan’s stare, the low whistle he emits when he sees me, and the tick of his jaw causes my body to freeze. Grayson steps in behind me, his body against mine. “You’ve got this,” he repeats.

  I let out a breath and step further into the room. “Mr. Cole,” I begin. “I’m your attorney, Ashlynn Robbins.”

  An evil smile covers his face as he licks his lips. “Mmmmm… Ashlynn Robbins.”

  Making his presence known, Grayson takes a possessive stance next to me. “I’m Grayson West, your other attorney,” he says.

  I know he hates being here, I know he hates defending this man, but hell if you could tell that looking at him. No, Grayson is as calm and collected as ever.

  “You’re fired. I just want her,” Ivan says.

  “Sorry to break it to you, but we’re a package deal. I go, she goes.” Grayson’s tone is firm, no nonsense, and clearly in charge.

  “Can she at least sit on my lap?” he asks, this evil grin on his face and a smile that instantly terrifies me.

  Grayson laughs at his words. “You really think a woman like her would bother with a sick fuck like you?”

  “Grayson,” I scold.

  Regardless of what Ivan is, he’s our client.

  “Who do you…”

  “I’m the man that holds your future in his hands. You so much as look at her sideways and I will end you. Do you hear me?”

  “You can’t do shit. You’re paid to defend me.”

  Grayson laughs again. “I assure you, I am more than capable of making it look like I’m defending you, when I’m really setting your ass up to rot in a prison cell. Try me. Because I may be paid to defend you, but we both know what you did, and I would be more than happy to watch your sorry ass rot in prison.”

  Watching Grayson take control of the situation is nothing short of a turn on. I should be pissed, this is my meeting and he’s essentially taken it over, but I’ll be damned if seeing him so in control and protective of me isn’t doing things to my insides that I haven’t felt before.

  Grayson looks to me, his eyes encouraging me to go forward with the meeting all while letting me know that he has my back. The man who was so in charge only moments ago, is now sitting back in a chair, arms folded across his chest, perfectly content watching me run the show.

  I take a seat across from Ivan and really look at him for the first time. He has a large muscular frame that is intimidating in itself. His eyes are void of emotion or really anything. It’s almost as though he has no soul, that he is completely empty inside. And that – that has me terrified. I glance over at Grayson for encouragement. With nothing more than a look in his eyes and a nod of his head he settles my nerves. His eyes are the exact opposite of Ivan’s. They are filled with emotion and concern. There is so much in them, so much that I don’t understand, but wish I did. And that terrifies me in a whole different way.

  I begin going over our defense strategy. Every statement I make Ivan retorts with a crude or sarcastic comment. I do my best to ignore him, to not hear his words. And while Grayson may not be speaking, the look he is giving Ivan the entire ti
me says it all. It’s a ‘fuck you’ and an ‘I’ll destroy you’ all in one. And how the hell he isn’t remotely intimidated by the murderous man in front of us is beyond me.

  “Do you have any questions so far?” I ask Ivan.

  “Just one,” he replies. I raise my eyebrows encouraging him to continue. “When can I taste that sweet pussy of yours?”

  Grayson shoves up out of his seat, the metal chair he was sitting in sliding back and hitting the wall loudly. “You son of a bitch,” Grayson says charging at Ivan. I rush from my seat and step in front of him.

  “Grayson, don’t,” I plead.

  Yes, the words made my skin crawl, but they aren’t worth Grayson getting arrested for assault. Not on my behalf at least. My body is against Grayson’s and I can actually feel the anger begin to subside in him the moment we connect.

  He reaches around me and grabs the files off the table. “We’re done here.”

  With his hand on the small of my back and leads me out of the room. The moment I step foot over the threshold my body relaxes for the first time in what feels like forever.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad,” Grayson says.

  I stop, dead in my tracks, at his words. I turn on my heel and face him. His eyes widen as he looks at me, uncertain what the hell I am about to say or do, I’m sure. I step into him, my arms wrapping around his neck, and hug him.

  “Thank you Gray, I don’t think I could have done this without you,” I admit.

  “That was all you, Sweetheart. I just sat there,” he says trying to negate what I’m telling him.

  I’m still holding onto him, but I pull back and look him in the eye. “You know that’s not true.” I gently touch his face. “Take me home?”

  His jaw ticks at my suggestive tone. “Is that what you want?”

  “It is.” I turn and head toward the exit.

  But we don’t go home, not to my home at least. “Where are we?” I ask as I step out of the car.

 

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