by L. M. Reid
“You’re right, it isn’t. It’s me – wanting to be with you.”
I turn away from him, unable to look him in the eye. My mind has been spinning since I left his place this morning.
“What is it, Sweetheart?”
The sound of his voice alone sends me into a spiral. “I’m scared Gray. I want to be with you, but I don’t even know if I can trust you. Opening up to you, letting you in – I could have just thrown my entire career away.”
Especially if Elliott were to let my secret out and my past came to bite me in my ass.
Grayson paces my office, rubbing his hand on his chin as he does so. “What do I need to do? How can I prove to you that you can trust me?” He pauses for a moment, then looks at me. “I’ll back out. I’ll pull out of the running for partner.”
If I thought he stopped the world from spinning last night, those words, the meaning behind them – it’s more than any profession of emotion. It’s the willingness to give up something – for me, for us. The concern I have over his reasons for being here – gone. I’ll back out. Those three words just did me in.
I can’t ask that of him though. He’s here for a reason and while I don’t know what it is, I’m not taking that away from him.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I say.
“You’re not. I’m offering.”
“Why? Obviously, you came here with a purpose. There’s a reason why you wanted the Partner spot despite hating your father. Why give it up so easily?”
“Believe me, it’s not easy but if it is going to cost me you, then I’ll do it.” He hesitates for a minute before locking eyes with me. “I made that mistake once before; I won’t do it again. Not with you.”
The conviction in his voice, the emotion behind it; whatever he came here for, it’s what tore him and Reagan apart. The gravity of his offer stuns me. And my rejection of it is going to sting him.
“It doesn’t matter. It won’t change anything,” I tell him.
“Like hell it won’t. He makes you partner, you sign that contract, and you end whatever is going on between the two of you.” Grayson’s plan sounds so simple. That’s because he doesn’t know the whole truth, the real reason I’m Elliott’s little play thing.
“It’s not that simple,” I tell him.
Yes, I care about Grayson, but I have seen what love and relationships do to people. There is no way I can risk everything for a man I barely know. And when I say everything, I mean everything – my career, my future. Not to mention everything I had to do to get where I am at. If I do what Grayson wants, I lose everything I worked for and everything I did was for nothing. There is no way I went through all that, sacrificed myself for nothing.
Grayson shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m trying here, Ashlynn, but I need you to meet me halfway.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he asks, his voice filled with hurt.
“Grayson…”
“Just forget it.” He turns from me and walks toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
Without answering, he’s gone. The door shuts behind him with a thud.
23
Grayson
After the downward spiral Ashlynn and I just took I want nothing more than to get out of dodge. My head is still spinning from the turn of events, how Ashlynn seemingly changed her mind about us, about what we mean to each other after what we shared last night. Everything had been perfect and I don’t know what the fuck changed. I need to clear my head and being anywhere in the vicinity of Ashlynn isn’t going to help me do that. I’m nearly out the door, headed to visit my mother when I get a text from my dad.
“You wanted to see me?” I ask my Dad as I enter his office.
After his little trip to New York with Ashlynn, he stayed behind working with a new client. I couldn’t care less where the hell he went, except for the fact that I wish he would have stayed there. It allotted Ashlynn and I the time to connect. It gave me the time to decide if she was worth the sacrifice. Fun fact, she is.
It was even better before this morning, when I still thought that despite her reservations, she was feeling it too. Now? I’m not so sure. Everything had been so good. What the fuck changed? What has her so unwilling to take my offer, to end this whole fucking mess so we can be together?
“Grayson?”
“What?” I stammer, my name pulling me from my thoughts.
“How is the Cole case going?” he asks.
“You mean the lunatic that you have Ashlynn and me defending? It’s great. Despite my best efforts, we may actually be able to get this asshole off,” I reply as I take a seat across from him.
“Good to hear. I know you don’t like it Grayson, but this is the way of the world. You always had a heart like your mother…”
“Do not talk about her,” I warn him. He begins to speak, but I cut him off. “You don’t get to talk about her. Not after how you left her.”
He stares me down. I know he wants to say something, discipline me for how I spoke to him, but he doesn’t.
Instead he takes a seat across from me. “I’m proud of you, son.”
My head turns to the side, instantly unsure if I heard him right or not. Proud of me? Never in my thirty-two years has he told me he’s proud of me. If I wasn’t sure before, I sure as hell am now. He’s up to something. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Don’t be an ass, Grayson,” he says with a shake of his head. “I know it took a lot for you to come here. I’m grateful that you did though.”
I can’t help the gamut of emotions that are coursing through me. The little boy who so desperately wanted his father’s love and approval is reveling in his admission. The teenager me that did everything to spite him because I never got it, he wants to throw it in his face. And the adult me, the one that watched his mother suffer, wants to tell him to go to hell and that I don’t need his approval. So why the hell does it feel like the little boy in me is winning out? Why do I feel a smile creep onto my face when he says the words?
“Thanks, Dad,” I reply.
Don’t fall for his bullshit, Gray. But it doesn’t work. A part of me does. The part of me that has wanted to hear those very words my whole damn life.
“Here,” he says handing me a folder.
“What’s this?” I ask as I take it from him.
“Open and read it, kid.”
With caution, I open the folder and peruse the contents. I flip through the pages. Everything detailed, all of the I’s dotted and the T’s crossed.
“Are you serious?” I ask him in disbelief.
The contract in my hands is a far cry from what I expected, especially at this stage in the game. I could have sworn he would make me jump through more hoops; make me prove my loyalty to him. My first thought is it’s a shit contract, some clause in it that is going to bite me in the ass. But, I don’t find anything.
“Do I ever joke about business, Gray?” he says with a laugh. “Of course I’m serious. You’re my son. I want you here with me.” He pauses for a moment. “I always have.”
I detect a hint of emotion in his voice. Maybe my rebelling really hurt him. Or, maybe he’s full of shit and playing you, Gray. Jesus, fuck, how the hell am I supposed to know what to trust?
“I’m going to need to read this over,” I say, but I make sure my voice is laced with a hint of amusement.
“I would expect no less.”
“Why are you doing this? What about Ashlynn?”
He lets out a low laugh, one that sounds nothing short of evil and villainous. “Ashlynn? You can’t be serious?”
“She’s a great attorney,” I reply, confused.
From what I’ve been able to gather so far, Ashlynn has been his protégé. She by far has the most billable hours in the firm and has a damn laundry list of happy clients. Why he wouldn’t want her as a partner makes no sense to me. Why am I even questioning this? This was the “in” I needed. I
gained his trust, he’s letting me in, and now? Now, I can search for the damn information that I know is out there, the evidence that will destroy him and hopefully even send his ass to jail. It’s the least he deserves.
Still, I hate knowing how much this is going to hurt Ashlynn. She’s worked so hard for this and sacrificed even more than she’s willing to share with me.
“That she is. But, I have other plans for her.”
“Such as?” I pry.
If I’m not careful, my line of questioning is going to make me and my motives for asking them look suspicious. Whatever he has planned for Ashlynn, I need to know. How else can I protect her from whatever it is he’s planning? And whatever it is, it’s not good, especially since he just offered me the partner spot. Fuck.
“As talented as Ashlynn is in the courtroom, frankly, I prefer her talents out of it.”
His innuendo has my blood boiling. I’m not sure if this is just part of his charade or what he’s saying is true and Ashlynn lied to me. I hate that the statement allows doubt to seep into my mind.
Rein it in West, I tell myself. If I want to figure out what the hell is going on, I need to play along. I need to be the son he wants; one he can trust. I need to make it look like I’m on his side when I couldn’t be further from it
“Why not both?” I say with a shrug. “Beauty and brains.”
“No wife of mine is going to work,” he states.
“Wife?” I yell out in complete disbelief.
“Keep your voice down,” he laughs. “I’m no fool, Grayson. A woman like Ashlynn doesn’t go for a man like me – unless there’s a reason to.”
He knows she is only with him to make partner. Either that or there is something more going on here. There’s a piece of the puzzle missing.
“What do you mean?”
“I gave her that reason, and once I make things official, I will take it away.” He shakes his head and laughs. “That’s why I need you to keep quiet about the partnership. If she catches wind that I am not giving it to her – there’s a good chance she’ll quit caring about what I have on her and just move on anyway.”
“So, wait, you’re saying that you blackmailed her into dating you?”
He nods.
“Jesus, what do you have on her?”
What a prick.
Granted, it all makes sense now. Her turning down my offer. Me backing out wasn’t going to change a thing for her. She would still need to play the role of doting girlfriend no matter what.
He waves his hand. “It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she and I get married before the Cole case is over? That way when I officially offer you the position, there is no way she can back out.”
Over my dead body.
Calm, Gray. Stay calm.
He continues. “So, for now, the contents of that folder? It needs to say between you and me. Understood?”
“Yeah, of course.” I glance down at my watch, pretending to check the time so I can get out of this office and figure out what the hell he has on her so I can protect her from the fallout of all of this. “Shit, I have to go Dad. I have a meeting in ten minutes.” Holding up the folder I say, “Thank you for this. I promise, I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t, Son.”He walks from behind the desk, places his hand on my shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
With those words, ones that actually sound genuine, he pulls me in for a hug.
“Me too, Dad,” I lie, hugging him back.
My breaths become deeper the minute I step out of his office, anger filling me, my mind racing, and my heart a plethora of things that I can’t seem to control.
Ashlynn’s refusal to accept my offer, when she said that me bowing out of the competition wouldn’t have a bearing on her being with my father, it all makes sense to me now. She’s not afraid of her feelings for me, she’s not pushing me away, she’s scared – of him and whatever it is he has on her.
Part of me wants to warn her. Part of me wants to demand she tell me what the hell it is he has on her. I can’t do either. She doesn’t trust me enough to let me in and pushing her any further than I have is only going to push her away.
***
“What are you doing back here so soon?” Hal asks when he walks in the bar that I asked him to meet me at.
It’s the place we always go – the Rusty Dog Pub - you know the bar, where everyone knows your name and what not. It’s right down the street from our office so it’s a good spot for us to stop after a long day.
“I needed to get away, to get my shit together,” I admit as he takes a seat at the table I secured for us.
“Does this have anything to do with that broad you were telling me about?”
I nod in response to his question as I flag down the waitress.
“Fucking women,” I comment after I order my drink.
“That bad?”
“That good,” I reply.
Christ the woman is everything I could ever want. She’s utterly stunning with her soft, tan skin, long blonde hair and the most mischievous blue eyes I have ever seen. She commands any room she walks into, even my bedroom. I may pretend to be charge there, but damn if she doesn’t have me by the balls making me want to touch and do just about everything to please her.
Underneath her tough exterior is a vulnerable, scared little girl; one who doesn’t know or understand love but so desperately wants it even though she might not realize it.
I know how hard she’s worked to get where she is, I understand the importance and I would never want her to give up her dreams. But, if she thinks that is what is really going to make her happy, she’s wrong. Money, power, and success they’re all a bonus. They aren’t what make up happiness.
I give Hal a quick rundown of my meeting with my father today.
“What does he have on her?” he asks.
“That’s the million dollar question,” I reply, the amber liquid hitting the back of my throat.
Coming straight out and asking her what he has on her isn’t an option. As much as I wish she did, she doesn’t completely trust me. Yet. So no way in hell is she going to tell me this career ending secret of hers. Without it though…
“Want me to call Cooper?” Hal offers.
Cooper’s father owns a private investigation firm. Between doing jobs for his catering business he helps them out on cases, so Hal and I have used him a time or two when we needed someone we could really trust.
“Honestly, Hal? I don’t know what the hell to do. All I know is…”
“That you’re in love with this broad?”
I let out a low chuckle at how I referred to her the other day when I was pissed that she ghosted me. Just some broad. Yeah right. It was bullshit then, its bullshit now. Ashlynn Robbins is so much more.
“Why are you asking if you already know?” I retort.
I take a deep breath before I turn into a pussy and pour my heart out to him.
“Ash and I, we just fit. She’s my soul mate. Which, before you say anything, I know sounds like bullshit, but it’s true. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her. Hell, I barely knew her a week and I was already falling for her.”
“You sure it was her you fell for and not her pussy?” he asks with a laugh.
“Fuck you man. Not that it isn’t fucking amazing, but no, I fell for all of her. Every fucked-up piece.”
“Even the one where she’s pretending to date your dad?”
“Seriously, whose side are you on here? Christ, Hal. I know what she’s doing. I don’t need the Goddamn reminder.”
“I think you do. Come on man. She’s dating your father to get a job – is that really the kind of woman you want? Is that the kind of fucked up relationship you want? Because I’ve known you most of our lives and you are one romantic son of a bitch looking for his happily ever after. And I’m sorry to break it to you, but I don’t think she’s it. She is a right here, right now, kind of woman.”
“You don’t kno
w her like I do,” I argue. I swear if he says one more negative thing about her, best friend or not, I’m punching him in his smug face.
“True, but we both know her type. Come on Gray, you’re better than that,” he tells me.
I look down at my phone, the picture of us I snapped in the hot tub staring me in the face.
“Christ, she looks like trouble, with a side of hell,” Hal comments looking at the photo.
She sure does. The exact kind of trouble I don’t mind getting myself into. I turn my phone over resisting the urge to return her texts. I bolted from my dad’s office, called Hal, and headed straight here for a reason. I need to get my shit together. I need a game plan. I need to figure out how to save her without her even knowing. And still find a way to exact my revenge against my father.
“Call Cooper,” I say.
I don’t want to spy on her, but I know there’s no way in hell she’s going to trust me enough to open up to me. Whatever it is that’s in her past, it’s bad. Enough that it leaves her closed off, afraid to trust. Hell, even afraid to love. But I can’t protect her if I don’t know what he has on her.
I glance over at Hal; he’s batting his eyelashes at me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I laugh.
His hand touches my arm. “Just trying to help you forget, handsome.”
Fucking idiot.
While I may have wanted to punch him just moments ago, Hal now has me laughing my ass off. For the first time in weeks, I feel like me again and it feels great. Wanting to continue down this path, the path of forgetting all the bullshit and just relaxing I divulge a piece of information that I think Hal will get a kick out of.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Hal laughs. “You and Mrs. Barrington?”
I can’t believe I’m admitting this to him. Mrs. Barrington is a middle aged woman, okay a little bit on the higher end of middle aged that sought my help in divorcing her two-timing husband. She was attractive and sad and in desperate need of a confidence boost. So, one night I suggested we talk about the case over dinner. That led to drinks. And well, the drinks led me to her bedroom.