by L. M. Reid
“He’s alive?”
“Yep, and damn near your neighbor. He lives only a few blocks from your place,” he tells me. Christ, he can’t be serious. “I don’t think he has any idea she exists. Seems like a pretty stand-up guy with a nice family.”
I look up at the ceiling. I’m not sure if what he’s telling me is a good thing, or a bad thing. Either way, it’s a thing. One more piece of the puzzle that will hopefully set Ashlynn free.
“And the money?” I ask.
“Delivered,” Cooper replies.
After our little visit to see Johnny I sent Cooper back alone. No way could I deal with being in the same room as that piece of shit again. Cooper delivered him the money and in exchange took every damn thing that would tie Ashlynn to a scumbag like him.
When I initially called Cooper, it was to have him investigate Ashlynn, see what her deal was, what she was hiding. I couldn’t go through with it though. Call it a conscience, or maybe it was my feelings for her, but it felt like a betrayal. So, instead I had Cooper look into the one piece of the puzzle that she had already given me – Johnny.
So, Cooper did some digging and secured some pretty damning documents. I had what I needed to grab Johnny by the balls and twist until he saw things my way. So Cooper and I paid him a visit, let him in on what we knew then advised him that he needed to back off Ashlynn – permanently. The money? That was just an added bonus, a little assurance that Johnny would keep up his end of the bargain, at least for a little while.
Once shit with Johnny was settled, I caught up with Ashlynn’s mom, Angie Robbins. God, that woman can talk. Especially if you’re plying her with the alcohol that is certain to kill her. Sure, it was a dick move on my part to offer a woman who needs to be in recovery a drink, but I did it anyway. She gave me Ashlynn’s father’s name, Larry Clark. Of course, that’s if she’s telling the truth and an even more if she even actually knows who Ashlynn’s father is. At least it was a start.
Then I dropped the bomb on her that Johnny was gone. She was livid, until I informed her about the apartment that was awaiting her – rent free – if she completed an in-house rehab program successfully. She took her sweet ass time thinking about it before finally agreeing. I don’t know if it’s going to actually work, but it’s worth a shot. Maybe, finally, Ashlynn can have a mother.
So with the information Angie handed me, I reached out to Cooper again. And here he is delivering me Ashlynn’s father on a silver platter. What he tells me though, is the furthest thing I ever expected to hear.
I expected Cooper to tell me the guy was dead, or on drugs. But a decent guy with a family, living in a nice neighborhood, that I never expected. Did he know about her and let her grow up with that ungodly mother of hers? Or was he clueless? Maybe Angie was just a mistake, an indiscretion in his otherwise clean reputation. I can’t help being angry at the man despite not knowing the facts. He lived a life, a safe life while Ashlynn sold her body for money just to get by.
I know that this isn’t going to fix things between Ashlynn and I, but maybe, just maybe, it will set her free; free from her past, free to find her future. She deserves better than what life has given her. If I can be the one to finally put her on the right path, all the better.
“Thanks Coop. Just email me the info. I owe you,” I tell him.
“Yeah well if you find any long-lost sister for this woman, send her my way, will ya? Because you sure as hell lucked out with this one,” he says.
“Believe me, I know,” I say with a laugh as I hang up the phone.
“You’re going to an awful lot of trouble for a woman who doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore,” Brayden interjects.
“Yep and she’s still worth it,” I tell him.
***
“Jesus, what a rush,” Brayden says when we settle back into my car.
My heart is racing, I have a line of sweat at my brow, and I feel like I’m flying. It’s not like we stole money or really even broke into anything since technically it’s the firms lock box, but damn what a rush.
“You got what you need?” Brayden asks.
“And a little extra,” I laugh holding up my dad’s prized possession in my hand, a signed Mickey Mantle baseball card.
“He might get over the shit about Ashlynn, but fuck Grayson, if he finds out you took that…” Brayden laughs. “He might actually try to kill you.”
“Let him,” I laugh.
I look at Brayden, my brother. For the first time in years, it really feels like that’s what he is, too.
“Now what are you going to do?” Brayden asks.
Good question. What do I do with this? How do I give it to her?
My phone rings. Without looking at the screen, I swipe to answer it. “This is Grayson,” I say.
“Gray,” the familiar voice responds.
“Daphne?” My heart sinks. No.
“She had another heart attack, Gray,” her voice says.
I rest my head on the steering wheel. “Is she…”
“No. No, Gray, we were able to… You should come though. It won’t be long.”
I turn the phone off. Brayden looks at me expectantly. “She’s worse,” I tell him.
“Let’s go,” he replies.
Brayden gives my shoulder a squeeze and I put the car into drive.
44
Grayson
“Are you sure?” Daphne asks as I stand at my mother’s bedside.
One hand is on my back, gently rubbing it, the other resting on my arm. I barely feel the touch or the comfort she’s trying to provide me. My body is rigid, my heart is like ice, and there is an ache in me that I have never experienced before, and I hope I never have to again.
My eyes haven’t left my mother since Brayden and I got here. My hand has been holding hers, looking for strength, seeking permission to do what I know is best, but don’t have the heart too.
She can’t give me either though, because she’s even less here than she has been in the past few months. The tube down her throat is the only thing keeping her alive. This is no life for her to live. She deserves to be free. I can be the one to finally set her free.
“I just want you to be happy, sweetie. Promise me, no matter what happens, you’ll find your happiness.” I recall the words she said to me during one of our last conversations. I’ll find mine as soon as I give her hers.
I give Daphne a weak smile, grateful that she was able to keep my mother alive and more importantly comfortable until Brayden and I could get here.
We’re here now. She’s not alone. It’s time.
She’s suffered enough. She deserves peace.
I look over at Brayden who gives me a nod.
“I’m sure,” I tell her.
Daphne removes the tube from my mom, turns the machines off.
Brayden and I each hold one of her hands.
I tell her I love her. I promise her that I will finally do what she always wanted – move on.
I kiss her cheek one last time.
I say goodbye.
45
Ashlynn
I knock on the wood door before I enter Brayden’s office.
“Hey,” I say softly.
I’m not really sure how to proceed. I’ve never lost anyone I cared about before, mostly because I’ve never allowed myself to care about anyone. Brayden just lost his mother, though. And I’m not really sure what to say or do here.
“Hey,” he says, not looking up from his computer.
“How are you holding up?” I ask.
He places his hands on his desk and pushes himself to a standing position.
“Honestly? I would be doing a lot better if I didn’t have to try to piece my brother back together,” Brayden says.
Okay. That is not the response I was expecting.
“I assumed Grayson wouldn’t be handling this well,” I say.
Brayden laughs and I can’t help thinking that he sounds like a lunatic. He just lost his mother and yet he’s
standing here glaring at me and laughing.
“He’s not handling any of it well,” Brayden replies, stressing the “any.”
“That’s not my problem,” I tell him.
Brayden begins to move around the office. “Mmm-hmm.”
“Why don’t you just say what you want to say?” I hate the tone I take with him knowing he’s going through a tough time, but frankly it’s his own damn fault for pushing the issue.
“You do realize that what you overheard was just me running my mouth and giving my brother shit, right?”
I don’t say anything, because I know that’s a possibility, I also know that it being the truth makes perfect sense.
“Ash, you need to hear me on this. There is no way in hell Grayson would ever – and I mean ever – use a woman. It’s the reason he hates my father so much. There is no way he would ever do anything like that.”
“I just wanted to give you my condolences,” I say before I turn to leave.
“Ashlynn,” he calls after me.
I stop, but I don’t turn because I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes. I can hear his footsteps coming closer.
“Here,” he says.
I turn. In his hand is a key.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Grayson asked me to give it to you. He wanted me to let you know that he got it and it’s locked away.” He places the key in my hand. “A safe deposit box with only your name on it. Whatever it was my dad had on you, he doesn’t have it anymore.”
I wrap my hand around the key, uncertain if Brayden’s telling the truth or just trying to get me to forgive Grayson.
***
I enter the bar with a purpose. The sadness I feel from not being with Grayson is killing me. The fear that maybe I am wrong about him and his motives – it’s eating me up inside. After Brayden gave me the key, I went straight to the bank, more specifically, straight to the box that, in fact, only has my name on it. The photos, the threats from Johnny, everything is there.
Grayson wasn’t kidding when he said he would make it right.
I nearly called him half a dozen times since I left the bank. Not because of the items, not even to thank him. Rather because the sadness I saw in Brayden’s eyes broke my heart. I can only imagine how Grayson must be feeling. The connection he and his mother shared so much deeper than Brayden’s had been with her. He must be destroyed, in complete turmoil. I want nothing more than to be there to comfort him, but I am so stuck in my own head, my own doubts that rather than going to him, I came here. A bar. A place where I can wallow in my self-pity. Alone.
I settle myself into a stool in the furthest corner of the bar. The place is pretty empty tonight and I couldn’t be more grateful. I order a whiskey, a double, and then another. If there was something stronger that could get me drunker faster, I would fucking take it. The whiskey will have to suffice though. The bartender just needs to make sure she keeps it coming.
I am so messed up right now. These damn emotions that I’ve always managed to steer clear of our front and center now and they are hitting me like a damn truck. If I thought losing Logan was hard. Fuck, this is incomprehensible.
“Hey stranger.”
The sound of the man’s voice makes me smile. I’m afraid to look, afraid maybe I’ve just finally lost my mind and am hearing things.
I look in his direction, my eyes closed, and the smile still plastered on my face. When I open my eyes and see his familiar and handsome face, I nearly lose it.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” I tell him.
I stumble out of my seat and into his embrace. The minute I feel the safety of his arms around me, I fall apart. His hand smooths my hair, a “shhh” falling from his lips. I swear I better start going to church. This is twice in a few months that God has sent me exactly what I needed. I need to repent and start to thank him profusely.
I back out of the embrace and look him in the eyes. He looks tired and worn down and I can tell something is wrong. This is how it all began – he was in a bad place, I was in the right place at the right time, and we ended up becoming friends. Except that we can’t be. I promised Logan I would stay away so he could be happy with Livie without bringing any complications.
“You should go,” I tell him even though it’s the exact opposite of what I want to say.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but right now, Livie has no say in what I do, or who I talk to.”
“Trouble in paradise?” I ask. They’ve been married less than a year. What could possibly be wrong? Aside from the fact that the woman is a damn mess… I stop my train of thought. I have no room to judge. And if Logan loves her, there must be something good about her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“Don’t apologize. Yes and no. We, uh…” He shakes his head. “Can we not?”
I nod and take a sip of my whiskey. “Well, if you’re looking for something to forget your problems, I got just the thing for you.”
“No, Ash, I can’t. I still…”
“Stop,” I laugh. “I was not suggesting that.” God, it feels good to laugh. “I meant my problems.” I shake the glass in my hand. “I’ve got a doozy for you.”
Logan takes the seat next to me, the pain on his face easing slightly at the reprieve from having to think about whatever it is that’s bothering him. “Hit me.”
“Well, it all began…”
Thirty minutes and a shit ton of whiskey later even Logan is shocked.
“Jesus. What the hell have you gotten yourself into?” Logan asks scrubbing a hand over his face.
I shrug and laugh. “I ask myself that every day. Seriously though, I… I really thought that Gray… I love him, Logan. Like I have never loved anyone or anything before.”
“Not even your career,” he asks with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Not even my career.”
“Then why,” he begins before taking another sip of his whiskey, “Are you sitting here talking to me when you should be there, working it out with him?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” I retort.
He shakes his head. “Completely different. Liv and I are at an impasse. Eventually, we’ll be okay. We’ll work it out. We have too. But you,” he says pointing at me, “you’re not even giving it a chance. You’re letting your fear get in the way.”
I groan out loud and put my head on the bar. “You can stop being right anytime now.”
“This Grayson, he treated you well?”
“Yeah,” I sigh.
I know him well enough to know where he’s going with this. If I was smart, I would tell him to stop. But I’m drunk, so I let him continue instead.
“If he was really just using you, don’t you think that maybe...” I lift my head to look at him, but he holds his hands up to silence me, “maybe, he wouldn’t have wasted his time treating you so well. I mean, the endgame would have just been to stick it to his Dad, right? He could have done that after the first night.”
I swat his arm at his insinuation, regardless of the fact it’s true.
The door to the bar opens and closes, the sound of the bell dinging. People have been walking in and out all night, but this time for some reason the sound catches my attention and I turn.
Maybe it wasn’t the sound after all, but the presence of the man that signaled it. Grayson. I watch as he scans the bar. I’m not sure what he’s looking for; an empty table, me? But I know the minute he sees me. The look on his face changes, a flash of jealousy, then anger, and last resolve. He stares for a beat more and just as I think he’s about to turn and leave, he does the exact opposite. He heads in our direction.
The sight of him has me glued to my seat. Knowing there’s a damn good chance that he thinks I’m here with Logan has me panicking.
“Ashlynn,” he says when he approaches us.
“Gray,” I say softly. Speak Ashlynn. Thank him. Give him your condolences. Tell him that this isn’t what it looks like. Anything. “I�
�m so sorry to hear about your mom.”
“Thank you.” He turns to Logan, “Sorry to interrupt, I’ll only be a minute.”
Logan stands. “Take your time. I need to head out anyway.” He turns to me, the look on his face saying it all; don’t be stupid, talk to him. A quick peck on my cheek. “It was good to see you.”
I just smile back, afraid that anything I might say might be misconstrued.
Logan gives his condolences to Gray before walking away.
“I want to hate him, but I can’t,” Gray says.
“I know what you mean,” I agree. “Want to sit?” Grayson shifts on his feet, as though he’s trying to decide what he should do. “Please?”
“I really didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure that Brayden…”
“Gave me the key?”
He nods.
“He did. Thank you. I appreciate that more than you know.”
Grayson shrugs as if him saving me from Elliott was nothing. Maybe to him it wasn’t. Maybe it was just a small consolation since he hadn’t been able to save his mother.
“Don’t do that,” I tell him. “It wasn’t nothing. It… I don’t have words.”
“Well, if you like that,” he says, a hint of a smile on his face, “you’re going to love this.”
I do love this. Every single moment of him sitting next to me.
“Johnny is gone. I managed to find some dirt on him, the going to prison for a long-time kind of dirt. So, I made him a deal. He shouldn’t bother you anymore. Or your mom.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
Grayson pulls a card out of his pocket. “That’s the rehab facility your mom is in. She signed up to do a ninety-day program. If she completes it successfully, I arranged an apartment for her.”
“What? No. You don’t have…”
“I am well aware that I don’t have to do anything. I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it for you. Ashlynn, you’ve had enough people hurt you, me included, and I just wanted to make things right for you.”
He has another slip of paper in his hand that he’s toying with. I can’t imagine what else he could possibly give me when he just gave me my life back – every piece of it, worry free.