The next morning, Leo and I stayed in bed. Hans called in early and then left again, and the cottage was ours. We risked sitting downstairs in the kitchen, eating bread and jam for breakfast and drinking tea, constantly touching each other, to remind ourselves that we were together. We found ourselves back in the attic shortly after. We couldn’t get enough of each other. Afterwards we talked about the future in our cosy haven.
‘It’s so frustrating not to be able to go out with Vati and Hans,’ said Leo, scratching his tousled head, his hair now long enough for dark curls to fall across his eyes. He looked and seemed more like himself, the haunted look in his eyes beginning to fade. ‘They need all the help they can get. The cows are calving and there’s more timber to fell, cut and season. The crops need careful attention with weed control now it’s growing season so we have a harvest to bring in during the summer months.’
I kissed him lightly on the mouth. ‘I know it’s what you love, but you’ll get back to it soon.’
There was a knock at the front door.
‘It’ll be your mother or Frau Kraus with lunch,’ I said, pulling my dress over my head. ‘I’ll go, just in case.’
Leo sighed, kissing the back of my neck. ‘Looks like our morning’s over.’
I climbed down the ladder in bare feet. The knocking came again, insistent this time. I walked quickly to the door, frowning. ‘Tante Elya?’ I said through the door.
‘Open the door, Susanna, quickly now,’ said Tante Elya urgently. I opened the door and she rushed in, panting, her face white. ‘Lock the door. Where’s Leopold?’
‘In the attic.’ Fear shot through me like sharp spikes of ice. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘To the attic now,’ she ordered. ‘Quietly.’
I followed her up to the attic where Leo sat on the mattress, fully clothed.
‘Mutti! What’s the matter?’ he said.
‘Push the mattress against the wall, Susanna, and remove any traces of the two of you being here,’ she said.
Leo grabbed his mother by the shoulders. ‘Stop, Mutti. What’s happened?’
‘The Gestapo, they’re here, at the house with your father.’
We stared at her, aghast.
‘I have to go to him,’ Leo said, starting for the ladder.
She grabbed him around the wrist. ‘No, you have to hide. If they find you, it’s over for all of us.’
‘I have to do something to help,’ he said desperately.
‘It may just be routine questioning,’ she said.
‘But how will we know?’ I asked, pulling the bed covers off.
‘Frau Kraus is there. She’ll come to us when they’re gone. She saw them coming and got me out of the house.’
‘Your mother’s right, Leo,’ I said. ‘You have to wait in the bolthole. Both of you. It’s not safe.’
Leo opened a wood panel in the timber A-frame of the roof, revealing a small space inside. I handed him the bedding. ‘You might need this. I’ll bring up some water and food.’
He nodded. ‘Come on, Mutti.’ He helped his mother into the tiny room and kissed me briefly before closing the panel.
There was no time to feel anything. I pushed the mattress against the wall, covering the bolt hole, and slid my feet into my shoes. I climbed back down the ladder and peered out from behind the curtain of the kitchen window. The lane was deserted in both directions – back towards the house and towards the mill. Nothing moved from the forest beyond. Everything looked normal. Taking a deep breath, I filled a jug with water and grabbed half a loaf of bread, a heel of cheese and the leftover stew, two cups and some cutlery. I took them up to the attic, along with some cushions.
‘Sit tight, Susanna,’ whispered Tante Elya, white faced, as she took the food. ‘Hans or Frau Kraus will come and tell us what’s happening soon.’ Then she closed the panel once more.
It was some time later before Hans arrived, locking the door behind him.
‘Susie, where’s Leo?’ His face was calm, but I could hear the urgency in his voice.
‘The bolthole with Tante Elya.’ He nodded, his shoulders sagging with relief. ‘Good, make sure they stay there.’
‘Do you know what’s happening? Are they here for Leo or Tante Elya?’ I felt paralysed with fear now that I could learn more about the situation. He sat abruptly.
‘An SS patrol came across some Russian POWs making their way to the estate. One of my men was waiting in the forest for them and saw them being arrested. By the time he got back here to tell me, the Gestapo had arrived at the house.’ He put his head in his hands. ‘There was nothing I could do.’
‘Are they still there?’ I whispered, dropping to the chair next to him.
‘The car’s still out the front. I don’t know anything more, but Adelina’s there. I’m sure she’ll let us know something when she can.’
‘I want to go to the house to see her,’ I said.
He shook his head. ‘You can’t! You’ll look suspicious.’
‘I can go through the back to the kitchen.’
He stared into space, thinking through the options and then nodded. ‘Fine, but be careful.’
It was a ten-minute brisk walk back to the house and I kept to the tree line, all my senses strained for any sound of vehicles, voices or unfamiliar sights. I slipped into the kitchen without being seen, but nobody was there. I crept towards the stairs and heard shouting from above. I shuddered. Onkel Georg was being interrogated. I climbed the stairs one at a time until I reached the floor above, the yelling continuing in a long stream of abuse by one of the Gestapo men. Then I saw Frau Kraus, hiding behind the dining room door. Her eyes widened in fear when she saw me. She gestured to me wildly. I crossed the hallway and joined her in the dining room.
‘What are you doing here?’ she whispered, grasping my hand tightly. Her skin was clammy and I could see her brow beaded with sweat. ‘Elya and Leo?’
‘Safe.’
She sighed with evident relief.
‘I had to know what was happening.’
‘Come, we can talk in the kitchen.’ Together we stole back downstairs.
‘There are three of them in the study with Georg,’ Frau Kraus whispered, closing the kitchen door quietly. ‘I’ve been eavesdropping, although I could hear them down here, the amount of screaming they’ve been doing. Someone from the village betrayed us. They tipped off the SS patrol and the Gestapo were only waiting for confirmation.’
‘Do the villagers hate us that much?’
‘Some do.’
‘What do you think they’ll do to him?’
‘I don’t know… They’ve been in there for an hour now.’
A shot rang out from the floor above, making us jump.
Frau Kraus clutched my hands fearfully, her eyes wide with shock. ‘Stay here.’
‘Be careful,’ I hissed as I followed her out the kitchen door and to the bottom of the stairs. My heart was pounding wildly and I was trembling with trepidation.
‘If something happens to me, go straight to Hans,’ she whispered.
I nodded, light-headed with fright.
Frau Kraus was gone for what seemed like forever. Pressed against the kitchen doorway, I strained to hear whatever I could, trying to make sense of the noises from above. The low sound of men talking urgently carried down, then I heard the sound of boots in the hallway and the front door slamming shut. The house was quiet. The stairs creaked suddenly in the silence and, stepping from the protection of the kitchen, I risked a glance at the figure on the stairs, ready to withdraw immediately.
I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Frau Kraus. I met her at the bottom of the stairs. She was pale and haggard, her eyes blank.
‘What is it?’ I whispered, the hairs rising on the back of my neck. ‘Have they gone?’
She nodded, reaching out to me with trembling hands and pulled me tight to her body. ‘Don’t go up there.’
‘Onkel Georg?’ I struggled to break free, but she grabbed my shoulders,
desperate to hold me still.
‘They shot him,’ I said, my voice dull, disembodied. ‘He’s dead, isn’t he?’
She stared at me uncomprehending for a moment and then nodded. ‘Executed… After everything he’s done for the Nazi swine. He was such a good man.’ She placed a shaking hand over her mouth, the terror of what she’d seen etched deep into her face. Panic bloomed inside me, but I swallowed it down. I had to see what they’d done for myself.
Pushing past her, I rushed up the stairs and ran to Onkel Georg’s study.
Standing at the door, I screamed, unable to take my eyes away from the gruesome sight in front of me.
He was lying crumpled on the floor, his blue eyes wide with surprise, a single, neat bullet hole in his forehead. Blood trickled down his face and dripped onto the floor, and more pooled on the Persian rug beneath his head. Blood, tissue and brains splattered the wall and velvet curtains behind his body like some macabre childhood painting.
I was rigid with shock, unable to move. My whole world had contracted to this room, to this very moment, but I couldn’t yet grasp what I was seeing.
Frau Kraus was with me in an instant. ‘Come away. He’s gone now.’
‘No, it can’t be,’ I moaned. I’d seen death many times before, but never like this, the execution of someone I loved. The violence of it was the hardest part to comprehend. Frau Kraus pulled me to her again and held me tight as I began to shake.
‘We have to tell them, Tante Elya and Leo,’ I whispered, still staring at the bright blood on the carpet. There was a lot of blood for such a small hole. ‘How can we ever tell them?’
We never imagined we’d have to safeguard Onkel Georg – betrayed by those who had benefited from his generosity and support for so long. I glanced up at the wall. ‘We have to clean up. We can’t let them see him like this.’
‘No. They’d want to bear witness to what’s happened,’ she said. Tears were rolling down her cheeks unchecked. ‘Their anger might be the only thing that gets them through these next weeks and months.’
I nodded slowly. She was right.
‘Come now. Let’s find Hans and bring Elya and Leo to see Georg before the Gestapo return,’ she said urgently, pulling on my arm.
It was enough to jolt me from my shock. ‘They’re coming back?’
‘They’ll be back to confiscate the estate tomorrow. I heard them talking.’
‘They’ll lose everything,’ I said, recoiling from the shock of that realisation. ‘And Tante Elya won’t have the protection of her marriage any longer.’
Onkel Georg had been our last line of defence.
‘We have a lot to do before then,’ she said, drawing me away.
* * *
We brought Tante Elya and Leo to the house under a tarpaulin on the back of Hans’s truck. We didn’t know who was watching. None of us could tell who to trust, outside the five of us.
We’d left Onkel Georg where he’d fallen. Hans stood in the doorway, his face implacable. Leo stared down at his father’s body in disbelief while Tante Elya dropped to her knees and kissed her husband’s lifeless hand, pressing it to her cheek while softly sobbing.
‘Oh, my poor Georg. You didn’t deserve this,’ she whispered between sobs.
‘The Gestapo will be on your doorstep come morning,’ said Hans quietly. ‘Inquisitive neighbours will be close behind.’
‘We have to bury him,’ said Leo, choking on his words. A spasm of grief crossed his features and I held his hand tightly.
‘We can get him ready for burial,’ said Frau Kraus slowly, looking desperately at Hans for help.
‘You have to say your goodbyes to him before morning. Elya, I’m sorry, but it’s not safe for you or Leo to attend his funeral. You’ll both have to stay in hiding now, until Germany has fallen.’
‘No,’ she whispered, shaking her head. ‘I have to be there.’
‘You can’t, Tante Elya,’ I said gently, crouching next to her. ‘Your protection from the Gestapo ended when Onkel Georg died. If they find you, they’ll kill you.’
‘No, no, no!’ she wailed, clutching Onkel Georg’s hand to her chest.
I wrapped my arms around her. ‘We can’t lose you, too.’ My voice cracked and tears ran down my face.
Then Leo’s arms were around us both, his wet cheeks against ours. ‘He’d want us to live, Mutti.’
She nodded sadly.
‘Today you’ll have to take anything you want to keep before the Gestapo return,’ said Frau Kraus. ‘Hans and I will try to store whatever else we can… But that’s not what I’m worried about. They’ll come looking for you tomorrow, Elya.’
‘But she’ll be in hiding with Leo,’ I said.
‘It’s not enough. Nobody knows that Leo is here, but they’ll search high and low for you, and perhaps they’ll discover you both in the forester’s cottage.’
Leo’s eyes met mine and I nodded. ‘What about the cabin where we hide the Russians? They won’t find them deep in the forest.’
‘Yes, I think that’ll work,’ said Hans, his face pale. ‘The Red Army’s waiting on the Oder River only sixty kilometres outside Berlin. You only have to stay hidden for a short while. You’ll have your home back in a matter of weeks.’
‘Yes, a matter of weeks,’ said Tante Elya bleakly. ‘A few more weeks and Georg would still be alive.’
There was nothing any of us could say to that.
Tante Elya refused to leave Onkel Georg’s side, but there was no time for the rest of us to mourn him. We moved through the house, packing essential objects in large hessian bags we used for grain on the farm. Photo albums, family documents, jewellery, a few sentimental gifts and a small bag of clothes – that was all we could keep at Frau Kraus and Hans’s house. Anything more would have alerted the Gestapo to a planned escape and concealment. Even Tante Elya’s family heirloom, the samovar, had to stay, and her Russian records, too.
Frau Kraus cooked biscuits and pastries with the remaining flour, eggs and butter: food that would keep well while Tante Elya and Leo remained in hiding. The rest of the basic food stores she’d take home with her.
‘No filthy thieves are going to take this good food,’ she said defiantly. ‘You might be in hiding, but you’ll eat well for as long as you can.’
Finally it was time to prepare Onkel Georg. The blood had stopped oozing and had congealed on the floor and around his head like a thick, dark halo.
‘Elya, we have to clean him up,’ said Frau Kraus gently. Tante Elya remained motionless by his side.
‘Come on, Mutti. The undertaker’s coming at dawn and you and I have to be long gone.’
She nodded stiffly and Leo and I helped her to her feet.
We moved Onkel Georg onto the dining table and washed away the clotted blood from his face and combed back his thinning hair, bandaging his head as best we could. We dressed him carefully in his best suit and trimmed his moustache. Finally he looked presentable and Tante Elya was satisfied. With his eyes closed it looked like he was sleeping peacefully.
‘There’s nothing more you can do,’ said Frau Kraus. ‘You have to leave before someone sees you. Susie and I will clean up and wait for the undertaker. She can stay with me until the funeral.’
Tante Elya kissed Onkel Georg on the lips one last time. ‘Goodbye, lyubimyy moy… He was the love of my life,’ she whispered. ‘How will I ever go on without him?’
Leo kissed his father’s waxen cheek before turning away, tears glistening in his eyes. All I wanted was to comfort him and for him to comfort me, but my duty was to do what they no longer could do.
‘Come, my children,’ said Tante Elya with a tremulous voice. ‘Let me hold the both of you.’ Leo and I embraced her, feeling her quivering body fight for control over her ragged emotions. ‘You know how much I love you both.’ We nodded, both incapable of speech.
Love was all we had left.
22
Onkel Georg was buried in the village cemetery the following day. Frie
nds, neighbours and curious onlookers came to the burial, under the fresh, green leaves of the linden trees. I heard the whispers, saw the satisfied glances and eager faces awaiting further gossip. This was truly the worst of humankind, but I couldn’t blame them entirely. Nazi propaganda and the war had turned former friends and acquaintances into bitter, resentful and untrusting people afraid for their own survival. I understood that much. But there was kindness too, deep sorrow and regret for the passing of a good man, a friend and employer. It was enough for me to know that there were still those who loved him and would miss him. Most would never know what good he’d done, the astonishing things he’d achieved in his lifetime, the number of lives he’d saved. I wasn’t born to this man, but he was my father and I was proud of him.
The Gestapo questioned Frau Kraus, Hans and others near the estate, but nobody had seen Tante Elya since before Onkel Georg’s death. A cursory search of the property and the surrounding forest was made, but the Nazis had more important things to do – like take what they wanted for themselves. They took our tractor and truck along with any other portable farm equipment. They smashed and destroyed anything left, and then fled. The Russians were closing in.
I told everyone that I was returning to Berlin, but I didn’t go back to the Zoo Tower. Berlin was surrounded by the Red Army and nothing could help the men, women and children in those towers now. Instead, I hid in Frau Kraus’s basement until we were sure the Gestapo had stopped sniffing around. Chaos reigned even in the village as the Nazis scrambled to leave ahead of the Russians. Locals stocked up on water and food, locking themselves in their homes as they waited to see whether the Soviets would be liberators or brutal occupiers intent on gaining revenge for the Nazi atrocities meted out to the Russian people.
Two weeks after Onkel Georg’s murder, the Red Army arrived. We’d heard the skirmishes not far from the village, the bursts of gunfire, the rumble of the tanks and the explosions of heavy artillery. Most people chose to stay in their homes and basements, and mothers armed their daughters with knives, ready to defend their virtue.
Letters from Berlin Page 29