He gazed around from where he sat, ass on the filthy asphalt, his back to the wall of the liquor store. He was hidden behind a dumpster in the hope that neither Clay nor Auto or any of his gang would find him.
“I’m beside the dumpster.”
“Stay on the phone with me.”
“’kay.”
It was the stupidest moment in his life when he’d believed Clay. The guy said that things would be different.
Clay had lied.
But Diesel was gone, and Triton had wanted to believe in someone so fucking bad. Why had he made the wrong decision again? His head grew woozy and before he knew it, it flopped forward on his neck. He stared at the asphalt between his legs and the small pebbles.
Clay and Auto were going to kill him if he didn’t get away from them. They had used his body and face for a punching bag on a daily basis. He hadn’t been able to work for the past two weeks and had gotten fired as a result. Auto had hit him so badly last night that he wasn’t sure he’d ever breathe without pain again.
Auto had come at him this morning, but was ordered by Clay to leave him alone for a while when Triton couldn’t get his words to come out in the right order. Auto then spat on him, which made Clay laugh, and the pair had left him there in his own blood.
A sound jerked his head up and he panted through the whirling world. The alley was still deserted. Across from the building stood a row of houses. On one front porch hung a basket of brightly colored flowers signaling spring was in the air. Somewhere, a family was laughing and music was playing and his eyes burned with tears.
The sound of Fraser’s VW echoed in the street, and the tears started falling in earnest.
“Triton!” Fraser put the vehicle in park, jumped out, and crouched down next to him. “Oh my god. You’re fucking freezing.” Frazer rubbed at his back, arms, and shoulders, causing Triton to cry out. “I’ve got to get you to the hospital.”
“Okay,” Triton whispered.
“Did Clay do this?”
“Oh god, I tried so hard to make it work. Something’s wrong with me. I’m defective.”
“Shhh, it’s okay,” Fraser whispered with tears in his voice, lifting him from the ground.
“Should I call Maddox?”
“No! Fuck no,” he pleaded, sobbing. He’d been dodging his cousin’s calls. Not that there had been many because Maddox was deployed. “Please, I can’t let him know about this.”
“Okay, honey, I won’t.”
“Promise.”
“I promise. What about Bull?”
“I lied. I’ve been telling Bull that I’m living back at the dorm. That I’m back in school.” He sucked in a breath.
Fraser slowly and painfully helped him to the car. If he took short breaths, he could get enough air to not pass out.
The emergency room was packed, but they took him back right away when the nurse got a look at him.
He curled on the gurney, squeezing Fraser’s hand, and cried until his face was even more swollen and he couldn’t see out of his eyes.
The ER doctor gave him something to help him calm down.
Of course, they called the cops. He told the understanding but tired police officer that he didn’t know who’d done it and no, he was over the age of eighteen and didn’t need anyone notified.
Fraser sat in a chair next to his emergency room bed looking sadder than he could ever remember him being.
“Some friend I am,” he croaked.
“Stop,” Fraser scolded.
Triton turned on his side, his whole body ached, but it wasn’t piercing after the painkillers had kicked in.
“Come home with me.”
“I can’t.” The tears wouldn’t stop.
“Why not?”
“They’ll find me with you, and they’ll hurt you bad, Fraser. Clay forbid me to see you, and Auto is blackmailing me to be quiet about it.” He finally told Fraser about Auto’s brand of blackmail.
“Are you serious?” Fraser’s mouth dropped open, eyes flashing fire.
“Yes.” A sob bubbled up.
“Jesus, Triton, why didn’t you tell me?”
“What good would that have done?” He dashed at his eyes, his shaking worse.
“Damn it, why’d you run back to that bastard? Why, sweetie? Why?” Tears ran down Fraser’s cheeks.
What could he say? That he wanted to be loved so badly, he kept hoping things would be better? That when Diesel left, it had ripped a hole in his heart that he’d tried to fill with anyone? That he didn’t deserve anyone good?
“I’m sorry,” he sobbed.
“Oh, honey. Why don’t you call Maddox and have him come back here and stop that son of a bitch from hitting you?” Fraser hissed, tears streaming down his face as he carefully held his hand.
“I promised Maddox I’d stopped seeing Clay. Maddox doesn’t know how stupid I was to come back. Mad doesn’t even know that I dropped out of college!” he cried, the lies building up.
“Oh sugar, it’s okay.”
“He’s gone! He’s gone!” He sobbed harder as Fraser hugged him close.
“Who, Maddox?” Fraser asked, confused.
“No, Diesel.” He sobbed into Fraser’s arms until he had no strength left. He struggled to breathe, his breath a hiccup of sound.
“I’m so sorry, honey.” Fraser rocked him.
“I didn’t want him to leave me, but he left anyway.”
“Why didn’t you ask him to stay?”
“I couldn’t,” he whispered. He’d been too afraid. He didn’t want to hear Diesel tell him no.
“I know you really liked him.” Fraser brushed the hair back from his damp face.
He sniffled and gulped. “He gave me his number and his address.”
“He did what?” Fraser drew back and stared at him, stunned. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I don’t know? What do you think that means?”
Fraser looked at him like he was out of his mind.
“It means he wants you to go there.”
“It does not.”
“Yes, trust me. Guys don’t give you their number and address unless they subconsciously want you there.”
“That’s a lie,” he mumbled. “He’d freak if I showed up.”
“Nah, just do it. Why do you have to overthink things? You’re free, twenty-two, and you can go anywhere. You even have a job you can do anywhere. What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know.”
“What if Clay or his fucking brother kill you,” Fraser hissed.
Triton blinked and the tears started falling again. “What if Diesel doesn’t like me?”
“What? Why wouldn’t he like you?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s crazy talk. If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have given you his phone number, and he sure the hell wouldn’t have given you his address. He likes you, even if it’s only as a friend. He could help you.”
Triton looked up at the ceiling for a moment, and then rolled to bury his bruised face in the pillow. “I don’t want to be a burden.” The words muffled into the cotton softness.
“I’m sure he won’t think that. He sounds like a good guy.”
He pillowed his cheek on his arm. “He’s one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. I haven’t known him very long, though.”
“It doesn’t take long to see if a person is good, Triton.”
“Diesel’s so kind even when he thinks he’s not. I want to see him. I want to get to know him, but I don’t want to become some stalker guy. You know?”
“You are not a stalker. Why not just go? Stay at a hotel and then casually call him and ask him out for coffee.”
“Yeah?” He sat up, his heart pounding. “I could do that.”
“Yep. I bet you could find some super B&B when you get there to stay.”
Would Diesel be angry? Triton suspected that no, he wouldn’t. Rather than angry, Diesel would be worried. Diesel would keep him safe. But
should he just show up unannounced? Why not? You don’t need to stay with him, just show up and say hi. His thoughts ran rampant.
“I love you, Fraser!” He threw his arms around his friend even though it hurt.
“I love you too!” Fraser hugged him tight and then sat back. “So, let’s make a plan. You’ll get released from the hospital, and I’ll get you to the airport or train station.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and remember, you’re worth finding love, Triton. I know you don’t believe that yet, but you so are.”
“I’ll try,” he whispered, but he couldn’t believe it. Not after everything. But maybe in Diesel, he could find a friend.
He couldn’t believe he was contemplating something like this. Even when his parents had kicked him out, he’d called Maddox to come get him. He hadn’t ever traveled anywhere on his own.
He ended up staying overnight at the hospital. His phone had blown up with texts from both Clay and Auto. The next day, he’d responded by saying he had to run back to the Triple R to help the ranch.
You’ve got three fucking days and that’s counting yesterday, Triton, and then I’m coming for you again.
That left him with two days to plan.
Diesel
“You’re coming along really well, Diesel,” Doctor Zimmerman assured him, flipping through the pages of his chart.
“Thanks, doc. I’ve been working hard the past two months. Plus, next week will be three months since my surgery,” he pointed out with a smirk.
Ted Zimmerman, the town’s only orthopedic surgeon, smirked right back. “It shows. Your recovery time is progressing well. Any sharp pain?”
“Nope.”
Ted eyed him for a moment. “So, how come I find that hard to believe?”
He chuckled. “I just push through the pain.”
“That’s all well and good, but resting a knee injury in between strengthening it will help much better than overdoing it. You don’t want to risk a re-injury this early in the game.”
“I try.”
“That’s all I can ask. So, let’s try this again. Any pain?”
“Sometimes, I’ll turn or bend and it twinges. It still throbs at night sometimes.”
Ted shook his head. “That’s when you know you need to take it easy. You can’t walk this off. Are you using your knee brace?”
“Yeah. I love the new brace you ordered, it’s much better than the other one.” He knocked his knuckles against the titanium brace.
“I knew it would be.” Ted reached down and adjusted a few of the straps before he pulled his pant leg back down.
“When are you coming back to the scene?”
Diesel eyed Ted. “I’m not.”
“Why not?”
“No reason to.”
“They aren’t all like Shawn.”
“I know that.” He’d met Shawn at a BDSM party while on military leave. They’d talked over Skype and the phone for months. A year later, Shawn had moved into his home. Diesel was hesitant, but Shawn swore the absences didn’t matter.
And at that time, Diesel would have done anything to keep the boy happy. There were certain aspects of the Dom/Sub scene Diesel liked. He enjoyed the power exchange of being obeyed and he sure as hell didn’t mind having a boy on his arm. He also appreciated having a boy around to take care of his needs, and he loved taking care of a boy in return. But that was about as far as it went. He was content to leave the whips and chains to the others.
He’d been content with his life and had lived that way until Shawn had wanted more. The boy had begged to hit the scene every week, even if that meant driving hours to reach an event or party.
Diesel loved his home and had wanted to enjoy it while on military leave, but he hadn’t had the opportunity because Shawn wanted to be on the go. He’d caved because he wanted Shawn happy. In the end, not even that was enough to keep the boy happy.
He gave a half smile. “It’s not my thing. You know that.”
“Of course, I know that.” Ted slapped him lightly on the back. “I’ve known forever that the scene isn’t your thing. You can still come and hang out with us, you dope.”
“I know,” he snorted with a grin.
“Who knows, maybe you’ll meet a boy who wants your kind of thing.”
That sounded highly unlikely. Subs and boys that attended the parties all seemed to want the whole BDSM scene with all the trappings.
“I’ll think about it. I’m not sure if I want someone in my life any longer.”
“You mean to go it alone?” Ted frowned.
“It’s complicated.” He stood and gathered up his papers.
“You, my friend, are far from a loner and you know it.”
Diesel grunted.
“Okay, enough of that. You up for poker night at the end of the month? The whole group will be there.”
“Yeah, steaks and beer?”
“Is there any other kind of poker night?” Ted peered at him.
Diesel chuckled. “I’ll whip up some potato salad.”
“The boys will love you.”
“They already do.”
Ted chuckled with him. “We miss you when you’re away. It’s nice to have you home.”
“Thanks.” He shook the hand of one of his oldest friends. “I have to admit, it’s nice to be home for a while. Sorry I haven’t been sociable.”
The group got together once a month for the poker party, and he’d missed the last two invites.
“Don’t worry about it, we know you needed to settle back in at home.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “For two months?”
Ted smirked. “Hey, we don’t judge.”
“Smartass.”
Ted chuckled. “Have you given retiring any more thought?”
Diesel tied his boots and stood. “Yeah, I have. I have to admit, I’m thinking hard about giving it all up.”
“Why the change?”
“It’s been nice having a life outside of the military. My reenlistment is coming up and I still haven’t given my superiors an answer.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m still trying to figure that out.”
Ted nodded. “I’m here if you need a shoulder.”
“Thanks, man, see you at the end of the month.”
“That would be a no. You have another appointment with me before then.” Ted gave him a stern look.
Diesel chuckled and left by way of the front.
The April morning air was cold and crisp, but gray clouds overhead signaled another storm was rolling in. He drew in a deep breath and instead of heading toward his SUV, he made his way down the wet sidewalk to the local small grocery. He wasn’t as quick as normal, but day by day, his leg was getting stronger.
“Hey, Diesel,” the clerk greeted him.
“Morning.” He waved and pushed a cart down the aisle, selecting a few things for the next few nights. He’d pick up the makings for potato salad closer to the end of the month. No sense in getting eggs now that would just go bad.
Was this to be his life? He sighed and glanced around. Shopping alone? The frozen dinners looked lonely in his cart, so he added a six pack of beer and snagged some cat and dog food before making his way to the checkout stand.
Freshly planted flowers of every imaginable color sat in tiny red pots on a display table, and he put a few in his cart. He’d already started planting, but it didn’t hurt to add more.
His meager groceries seemed even more pathetic in the company of the bright flowers. Shaking off his dismal thoughts, he bought the groceries and headed home.
Shrugging off his rain slicker, he carried the bags into the kitchen.
“Somehow,” he told Molly when she came to greet him, “I need to remember to buy and cook potato salad before the end of the month.”
She wagged her tail and led the way into the living room.
Lowering to the couch, he took off the brace and stretched his leg out. He started a shopping list
with the salad listed at the top and set a reminder on his phone. It really was times like this—the quiet night with the lowly lit fire burning in the fireplace—that he quite enjoyed a life at home. It was also times like this that he thought of Triton and of how he was doing. Even though he’d given the boy his number and address, Triton hadn’t contacted him.
Diesel had called the ranch a few months ago and found out through Bull that Triton was back in college and staying at the dorms. Bull said Triton sounded, if not happy, at least okay.
Going to college and living in the dorms was a lie. What was Triton really up to, and what would it take for the boy to stop lying? He thought about texting Triton directly, but he didn’t. Triton would reach out to him if he wanted. Wouldn’t he?
He sighed and closed the notes app on his phone and placed it on the small table next to the couch. Cedar leaped into his lap, and Diesel ran his hand over the cat’s soft head and scratched behind his ears.
“An old man like me isn’t worth calling or visiting,” he told Cedar.
Still though, Triton’s silence hadn’t stopped Diesel from shooting Maddox a text a few weeks ago. Maddox replied that Triton seemed happy every time he’d received a text response from his cousin. Had anyone picked up the phone and called him? He’d give it a few more weeks and then he was going to get some answers. He couldn’t in good conscience not check up on the boy, he reasoned. He should be happy that Triton seemed fine according to Maddox. Correction, he was happy for Triton.
Tipping his head against the back of the couch, he ran his fingers through Cedar’s fur and tried to forget about lovely blue eyes.
Triton
“Come here.”
He turned into Fraser’s arms and clung to his friend. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Fraser whispered against his ear while saying goodbye the next morning at the train station. “Stay safe and text me when you get there.”
“I will.” His voice shook, but he smiled through the blur of tears and waved until Fraser’s bright yellow VW Beetle was out of view.
His head wouldn’t shut up, it just continued to play over and over every one of his hesitations. There was no way Diesel gave him his address and phone number so he could visit. When he got there, he’d say he was just passing through. Yeah, that sounded crazy.
Bringing It Home (Code Of Honor Book 3) Page 6