by Vann Chow
It was impossible to describe what happened to her. Tears came trickling down from her eyes and she sobbed like a person losing her mind. Her wrenched heart leaped forward and backward insider her chest. Was this the feeling of death? She grew breathless. More uncontrollable sobbing had taken over her. Consciousness had escaped her, giving her no anchor to go back to the previous life. Images from the life that she had just transcended flashed before her mind's eyes like a bad tape on rewind. As if she was trapped in a black and white movie, she collapsed to the carpeted floor in front of a window covered with plastic blinds. Trickles of moonlight forced through the half opened blind-blades hanging from the rusted metal railings. The sky outside was a deep, grayish blue. Trees in the small garden facing the balcony rustled, leaves wavered in soft breeze. Elise was now back at the apartment she read about in the diary of her grandmother, where she had spent with her boyfriend Maximilian for many unforgettable nights.
They said the person you think of when you die was the most important person to your life and now Elise realized that it was none other than Max. Reading and re-reading his heartfelt letters to her grandmother, she had unknowingly pitied the couple so much she had become her. She could see through her grandmothers’ eyes, and she had been transported somehow into his apartment in Tsingtao. The coffee table was still there, the two bar stools were in their places. The beautiful loveseat where they had read books and snuggled together on was still inviting, not knowing that they would be forever abandoned. The unlit living room did not show a trace of the people who had lived happily in its comfort.
But then the war broke elsewhere, and he had to go.
Years went by and her grandmother heard nothing anymore about Maximilian. She waited and waited endlessly still after she was married off by her family to Elise's grandfather, a fellow Chinese refugee in the colony, in a blind marriage, and grew to become unhappy and beaten in life.
Elise now saw herself as her grandmother sprawling on the soft ground of her new family house. No one was around — the husband and the children had gone off to work the fields and she was left lonely and lost by herself. She pitied herself. Her love was gone and the pain in her heart was unbearable, as if an imaginary pair of gigantic hands have picked her up, rolled, twisted and squeezed her body like a wet towel. Elise felt her stomach revolted and she retched helplessly.
She caught her reflection from the mirrors that lined the wall. Tears had smeared her usually happy face with stains of cruelty.
Life is meaningless without her love, her grandmother's thought had entered her mind. She saw herself, as her grandmother, running frantically towards a cliff and jumped off it.
A moment later, Elise found herself actually free-falling, plunging down into an abyss. The air she disturbed swooshed passed her and threatened to crack her ear drums. It was impossible to see anything because she was losing altitude so fast. Her crying eyes have even dried up. Despite her grandmother's past attempts to kill herself, she found herself now struggling. She wanted to live. She reached her hands out in frenzy, trying in vain to grab on to something that would break her fall. Yet nothing comes into her rescue. She was a lost course.
No, her grandmother was a lost course, not herself, Elise thought in desperation.
“I want to live!” Elise screamed.
Master Siu
There was only half a Shishen before the front gate will be opened. Master Siu and his council of house staffs had been waiting for the eldest of the master’s grandsons to join their final briefing before the banquet. As key officials at the Chamber of Life and Nutrition, their full attention to every detail of the banquet and the subsequent trials were required.
The master ran out of patience at a minute past the designated congregation time. He stormed down the hallway from the strategy room through the medical library and weaved through a maze of corridors to the watch tower where he was informed as the last place where his grandson was seen.
“THE PARTY IS WAITING. PROCEED AT ONCE.” The master ordered when he saw Michael. He reckoned that time was short on his side.
“I am occupied,” Michael said, his spirit beaten. "I still have a case to close." He looked with pity at Elise, who was sobbing on the floor, oblivious to her surroundings.
“YOU HAVE A DUTY TO FULFILL. NOW COME WITH ME.” The Master said.
“I've made a mistake,” Michael said, "and I should take full responsibility of it. If you want me to resign, I would gladly do so..."
The master eyed the once-human girl lying beside Michael. “I'VE HEARD. WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER. NOW GO GET YOURSELF FRESHEN UP AND MEET ME AT THE STRATEGY ROOM AT ONCE.” He insisted, dismissing Michael’s proposal to resign as an impulsive talk of a childish person.
“I have served the court of heavens for more than thirty years yet I’ve never made a mistake like this. I have forgotten my duties and went off wandering around enjoying human pleasures with the girl. You are not mad at me?"
Master Siu remained silent for a moment, then dismissed the group of staff that now stood behind him. “Go wait for me at the strategy room.”
Then he whispered to Michael, “I didn't think you are capable of this, but now my opinion changed.”
“Capable of?”
“Of compassion,” Master Siu explained. “Of love.”
The word ‘love’ caught Michael off guard. He did not understand the word. Is the strange feeling he had all day towards Elise ‘love’?
“Son, all men and women are capable of love.”
“But I am not human.”
“That was precisely why I was surprised, but I am glad you have it in you. You do not understand it now, but you will someday.”
“This love between humans...what is it? Is it supposed to be...so heartbreaking?" Michael looked at Elise again.
“Well, it can be, sometimes.” Master Siu smiled at the young man's interpretation of love.
“Have you ever loved someone?” The young man asked. There was a short silence before the master replied.
“Yes, I have.” The Master said. “And it was much more painful than what you could ever have imagined.”
Michael was now embarrassed for his foolishness. He has asked an inappropriate question in a moment of distress. He had asked the man who’ve been betrayed and destroyed by his lover, whether he had ever loved someone.
“Love complicates everything, which is why you are not supposed to have personal relationship with any of your subject, Michael.”
He started to remember what his teacher taught him at school when he was young: “You shall not befriend your subjects. Friendships create bias. Being impartial is vital to any function, even the smallest job, in the juridical body.” The more he thought about it, the more Michael realized that the master was right. He has chosen to work like the way he did because of its necessity of a fair trial to everyone he had ever come into contact with, not because he didn’t care about them. “You expressed your generosity by keeping the distance between you and them so that they can get a fair chance on walking the pathway to the eternally happy place. Please remember it by heart.” His teacher’s voice rung in his head.
“I am so sorry.” The young man said.
“WE ALL GROW FROM MISTAKES. YOU WILL, TOO.”
“…”
“Young master! What is Elise doing on the floor!?” Jade rushed to her side immediately out of concern as she passed by the watch tower. “Her dress is all muddled. She cannot attend the banquet looking like this!”
“JADE, CALM DOWN.” The Master said. On the master’s word, she got up and retreated behind the master immediately, although her face still bearing a wearied expression of a mother to her crying child.
There was a sudden uproar of the waiting crowd. The time of the banquet was near.
“LISTEN, THOSE ARE THE SOUND OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE COME TO US FOR RESURRECTION. HEAR IT WELL. THEY NEED US.”
“I understand.” Michael replied.
“GOOD. I WI
LL HAVE KEN TO STAND IN FOR YOU IN THE STAFF BREIFING SO YOU CAN HAVE A MOMENT. BUT I’LL BE EXPECTING YOU WHEN THE BANQUET STARTS.” And the master waltzed out of the watch tower. As he did, his loud thunderous voice shouted: “SERVANTS, CHAIRS FOR YOUR YOUNG MASTER AND HIS GUEST!”
Immediately, ghost servants with furniture in their hands materialized from the stone walls of the circular watch tower and decorated the room with two green upholstery armchairs, a wicker coffee table and magically slide a thick green carpet right under Elise and Michael. The ghost servants expressed concerns when the magic was performed, fearful of startling the crying young master and his guest. Gingerly they finished their tasks and dematerialized out of the watch tower.
“KEN, THE STRATEGY ROOM!” The Master commanded, referring to the dog that has been eavesdropping outside at the corridor the whole time the conversation was taking place. The dog moaned. Without any choice, he trotted behind the master back into the mansion for a boring final briefing session. Ken has always hated these official events.
Ghosts and Saints
“What is going to happen to me?” Elise asked, as soon as Master Siu left. "What is this festival that everyone was talking about?"
"The Hungry Ghost Festival, Yu-Lan Festival." Michael said, "you surely have heard of it?"
The Ghost Festival was every year on the fifteenth day of the seventh month in the Lunar Calendar. It was the day when the ghosts are released from hell for a day. They come to earth to visit their families, or enemies. It had been the source of many paranormal Chinese folklores passed around from generation to generation.
“The Chamber of Life and Nutrition was the local outlet of the Celestial court in Hong Kong. Every year on this day, we put out a huge, extravagant banquet to attract every hungry ghost to come to us, instead of bothering their earthly counterparts and causing havoc on the living's lives.”
A deep furrow appeared on Elise's forehead. She was not amused. "And I...I died on this day? What does it mean for me?"
"You died yesterday, the fourteenth of the seventh month in the Lunar calendar."
Elise thought of the saying she had heard since she was a child, from television shows — When the Yama (the judge of life and death) wants your death at third strike of the day, no one dares to keep you till the fifth. — And that was exactly what Michael did, she realized immediately. That was the mistake that Master Siu said Michael made. He had kept her in the world of the living till the next day!
"Are you a judge in of the hell's court?"
"No, not me," Michael said, "my grandfather is. He is kind of a local extension of ten judges of Hell. Only the biggest, most controversial cases go to King Yama."
"Master Siu...?" The image of him reappeared in her head and it sent shivers down her spine. “But you said this is a Celestial court. How does it get mixed up with Hell?”
“You asked an excellent question! Most people are confused by it,” Michael said. “Yama himself is a Celestial being, a commoner immortalized after his death and his position elevated to that of a God in the eyes of the living, one of many that Chinese people worshipped. He just happened to be in charge of Hell, and Hell itself is a neutral place, a court, an office for him. It’s not a place of evil as Christian teachings describe it. It is sort of like the Supreme Court. And the regional court that Chamber of Life and Nutrition is, is part of the nation-wide judicial system.”
“How did a small Chinese pharmacy becomes a regional Celestial court? Why it? Why not the Post Office? Or the pawn shop down the street? Why you guys?”
"It was the Yau Ma Dei Police station not too far away from here decades ago, but they had lost their status because of bribe-taking. As a masterful Chinese doctor of the people, my grandfather was highly recommended among the list of potential candidates, and he was eventually elevated to the status of a saint immediately after his death. The Emperor of Heavens made him immortal, so he could continue to serve the people."
"And you? You're also immortal?"
"Yes, me too. So does everyone else in the House of Siu."
"What about your parents?"
"Their souls had moved on...they have reincarnated, many times by now. They won’t recognize me when we meet."
"Why was there a difference between them and you?"
"It's complicated," Michael smiled. "My parents were humans when they died, burnt alive by the unfortunate fire that engulfed the whole of Chamber of Life and Nutrition. Ken and I, however, we were never born in flesh. We were still unformed fetuses in my mother's womb."
Elise let out a gasp at the thought of the pregnant woman being burnt alive. She pressed her lips together, upset.
"The Gods had pity on my grandfather, who was left alone after the fire. They decided to save our souls from being put into the wheel of reincarnation. We didn't have a full-grown body yet, so they took our souls and planted one in a body of a man. Yes, the one you're looking at now, and the other one, they planted in a body of a black Mongrel dog. Because we were made by the Emperor of Heaven, we are spared from aging and dying."
"You're the one who got lucky."
"It's a matter of perspective..." Michael said. "Sometimes I wish I would switch with Ken."
"Was this some kind of crude joke? Why put one of you in human body and the other one in that of an animal? What was the Emperor thinking?"
"Grandfather always said we would know in time."
Elise pursed her lips. She was forever inquisitive and was not afraid to challenge power. Michael was very different from her. No wonder Jade said that Michael was the Master's favorite.
"And I guess the same happened to your grandmother? The woman I saw in the Chamber of Life and Nutrition?"
"No, she is different. Spirits exist in many forms," Michael said, "My grandmother was on the lowest of the hierarchy. She was a regular ghost, not a saint, unlike my grandfather. She lives, sadly, in the eternal burning hall of Hell. Once a year she was allowed to come visit and feast when the gate of Hell was thrown open."
"In the eternal burning hall of Hell?" Elise shuddered at the thought of it. “Why couldn’t she reincarnate just like your parents?”
“It’s all because of her impurity. In her wrenched mind, she still believes that she did no wrong. Because she was an arsonist, a murderer and a thief, there was no reincarnation for her. She was sentenced to Hell to suffer for eternity until she repented. As you might have noticed, she is still as fiery as she has always been, not an ounce of regret in her over the crime she committed. The time has not yet arrived for her to be released and enter into the reincarnation lottery, so to speak, so we will keep seeing her every year, unfortunately.”
“Master,” a young male servant appeared in the doorway. “The documents you have asked me to compile are ready. Would you like to do a final check?”
“Yes,” Michael replied at once. Then he turned to Elise, “Sorry. I've told you that I work in legal. It was not too far from the truth. I am a celestial court-appointed magistrate that oversees the smooth proceeding of the trials.”
Seeing the baffled look on Elise's face, he elaborated. “These trials are special trials at the end of the Yun-Lan festival to give the well-performing, regretful ghosts determined to do good again in next lives the opportunities to leave Hell and end their sufferings. If after Master Siu hears all the arguments and decided that it should be transmigrated, it can reincarnate into the human world again, as plants, insects, animals, or even humans. Sorry, I must go now. Please think about my proposal carefully. That is our only chance.”
"What will happen to me then?" Elise cried out at Michael who was getting up to check the documents needed for the cases on trials today. "What will happen to me? I don't even believe in Chinese mythological description of Hell. I'm a Christian, and I have always been good. Don't I belong to some other queues?"
Michael gave her a weak smile and walked off.
"It's not your turn yet...." Jade appeared next to her again. "You've some more days
on earth until the trial that will decide your faith is scheduled. It's the same with everyone. Have you never heard of any of these from the elderly in your family?"
"We are Christians. I have heard of all these stories about the Emperor of Heaven and the Hell Judge growing up, but we don't believe in any of these Buddhist, Taoist nonsense!"
"Oh, miss, I urge you to be polite when you speak of the matters of the heavenly courts. It would only do you harm if you don't pay some more respect to the deities."
"But I don't believe in any of it!"
"I guess you don't really have a choice of believing or not believing now that you're here." Jade shrugged apologetically. "Try to enjoy yourself tonight. You're now declared the esteemed guest of our young Master. He has never brought in guests before. You're his first!"
Jade's cheerfulness was inappropriately mismatched with the circumstances that Elise found herself in. She shook her head in disbelief.
The Psychic Engineers
Chad poured a bottle of Evian over his head as the last note of the electronic guitar died down in the crowded hotspot. Young party-goers were drawn to the opening tune of The Psychic Engineers. Chad loved the attention he got and certainly being dramatic helped. Seeing girls screaming their hearts out as he staged a classic cool-rocker act exhilarated him. Adrenalin pumping through his veins was exerting its effect on his body. Chad felt like he was been lifted up into an alternative reality where nothing else mattered. No longer bothered by the slim yet burdening chance of screwing up the lyrics he wrote himself, or losing his voice due to nervousness, he let his body and mind roamed free in the theatrical stage. Ablaze with passion, his heart threatened to leap out of his chest any minute now in their first performance of the summer.