Chasing Secrets
(Capturing Magic, #4)
Jessica Sorensen
Chasing Secrets
Jessica Sorensen
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Copyright © 2020 by Jessica Sorensen
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
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Cover Design by MaeIdesign
Created with Vellum
Contents
1. Harlynn
2. Harlynn
3. Harlynn
4. Harlynn
5. Harlynn
6. Harlynn
7. Harlynn
8. Arrow
9. Harlynn
10. Arrow
About the Author
Also by Jessica Sorensen
Harlynn
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
That same question echoes through my mind as I get dressed to endeavor onto planet Midnight. I want to stop thinking about what I am, but I can’t. I just keep replaying over what I know. Or, more like, what I don’t know, like how I don’t know what parts of my past are real, if any. And I know I must have more memories than I can remember, seeing as how I’m part of a species that’s extremely old.
A shadowed soul.
My soul is shadowed.
East said that the nickname for my kind doesn’t mean anything, that it’s just a name and doesn’t mean my soul is shadowed. But I’m not sure if I completely believe him, since none of the guys know much about me, even Maxton. I guess that’s why we’re here on Midnight, a planet where a lot of dark creatures reside, including demons. And since I have demon blood in me …
I swallow hard at the reminder. Honestly, I’d be panicking more, except East has demon blood in him, too, and he’s a good creature. Sure, he might be a little bit mischievous, and he jokes around a lot, and don’t even get me started on how big of a flirt he is, but he’s kind at heart. That much I do know.
Pressing my lips together, I force myself to leave my anxious thoughts and pity party and focus on getting dressed, since that’s what I need to do right now.
I start sifting through the clothes hanging up in the closet. East said to put on something warm, but that was about it. I know nothing about this planet. Normally, I’d get Arrow to help me pick out an outfit, but in the past, I did that because we were on planet Steel, which is the planet of cyborgs. None of the guys are from Midnight. Still, they might know what I should wear. Then again, shouldn’t I be at the point where I can pick out a damn outfit by myself? I want to stop being so dependent on them. Not that I want to cut them out of my life completely. No, I want the guys in my life. I like having them in my life.
I nibble on my bottom lip as I think about everything that’s changed since I left my world. Or, well, the world I thought was my world. I’m so different now. Traveling, discovering my powers, and yes, even the guys have made me different. And while I was afraid at first, especially when Asher said there was a way to break the curse, for the first time since my parents died, I feel … hope. Hope for happiness in my future. I’ve never had that before.
Of course, considering what I am and that Axel is after me, there’s a chance that even if the curse is broken, my future might not end up the way that I want it.
But what do I even want?
Yeah, that’s another question that keeps bouncing around in my mind, and I probably need to figure it out soon.
Sighing, I return to picking out an outfit, unsure if I should just grab a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and call it good. Then again, I can’t see either in this closet. No, all the clothes are dark and covered in studs, buckles, chains, leather.
“Gods, it’s like gothic central in here,” I mutter.
After not being able to figure out what to wear, I step back and lean against the wall behind me, letting my head bob back. I loathe that I am constantly clueless. I want to be able to be confident again, like the old Harlynn. Not that I want to be the old Harlynn completely. There was a lot of stuff that sucked about my old life, which feels like such a long time ago. But really, it’s been like what? A handful of weeks?
Wait … What day is it?
I walk over to the hologram screen hanging on the bedroom wall. I’ve seen the guys use it a few times but have never really used it myself. Maybe I can figure it out.
I place my palm on the screen and say, “Show me what day it is?”
The scenery shifts into a calendar, revealing not only how long I’ve been here, but also that today is my birthday.
“Huh,” I say. “I completely forgot that was coming up.” Not that it matters. It’s probably not even my real birthday. Plus, it’s not like I ever celebrate it. Even when my parents were alive, we were always too poor to do much. In fact, sometimes it was forgotten amongst the stress of paying the bills and trying to survive.
I lower my hand from the screen, wondering about that life, about my parents, who they really were, and if they knew what I was. Perhaps that part of my life wasn’t even real. For all I know, my memories have been tampered with.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Crap. That’s probably one of the guys telling me it’s time to get my butt going, but I’m not even dressed yet.
“Um … yeah, come in,” I say as I hurriedly try to select an outfit. When the door creaks open, I don’t glance back, calling over my shoulder, “Sorry I’m taking so long. I don’t have any idea what to wear. I think I might be like outfit clueless or something.”
“Outfit clueless?” The sound of Arrow’s voice makes me smile. Just the guy I need to help me pick out an outfit.
“Hey, it might be a thing,” I quip, flitting a glance and a smile over my shoulder at him.
He’s changed into a pair of black pocket pants, the bottoms tucked into a pair of thick boots. He has on a black long-sleeved shirt and fingerless leather gloves. He looks like he may have just polished himself, too, since the bronzed metal woven into this flesh is all shiny.
“You look like you’re about to go into battle,” I remark, then worry flows through me. “Wait … We’re not fighting someone while we’re here, are we?”
Shaking his head, he closes the door behind him and starts across the room, his boots scuffing against the floor. “No. Well, unless East or Asher get into a bar fight.”
I elevate my brows. “Does that happen a lot?”
He nods, stopping in front of me. “Unfortunately, yeah.”
“Really?” I crinkle my nose. “East doesn’t seem like much of a fighter.”
“He doesn’t try to start fights intentionally. He usually just smarts off to the wrong creature or hooks up with their mates …” He trails off, worry flooding his features. “Sorry.”
My brows knit. “For what?”
“For …” He shifts his weight, seeming uncomfortable. “I mean, you and East have been …” He stops talking again and shakes his head.
It takes me a moment to figure out what he’s trying to say.
“Oh,” I say as it dawns on me. I think he thinks I’m uncomfortable with him talking about East hooking up with creatures. I’m not, though. With who East is, I’ve already concluded that he’s probably done a lot of sexual stuff, unlike me. However, talking to Arrow about East and me together is making me feel a bit squirmy. “You don’t have to apologize for that. I figured East hooked up a lot.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “I know, but I probably shouldn’t be throwing in your face.”
“You’re not,” I assure him. “What you said was fine.”
What I’m not sure is fine, though, is talking about this with Arrow. Or, well, the fact that I’ve kissed East, Arrow, and Asher. Plus, had a few orgasms with them. Not with Arrow—we’ve only kissed—but … Does Arrow know what has gone on between me and his friends and bandmates? Do guys talk about that sort of stuff? I could ask, but I don’t want to make things even more awkward than they already are. So, I revert the subject to the fighting.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” He suddenly swallows audibly. “Wait … Do you mean, have … I hooked up a lot?” He mutters the last part.
I swiftly shake my head. “No, I meant about the fighting, and if you ever got into them?”
“Oh.” He visibly relaxes. “I’m not really a bar fighting kind of creature.”
“Yeah, you don’t seem like it. Honestly, Asher is the one who seems like he probably pisses a lot of people off.”
“That might be a little bit true. I’ve had to jump into some fights and intervene because Asher was in a pissy mood.”
I laugh softly. “Now that I can definitely see.”
His bronze lips turn upward. I love the sight of it. When I first met him, he never smiled, and East informed me that he rarely did until I came into their lives.
“Hopefully, that won’t happen while we’re on Midnight.” Arrow tugs on the ends of his sleeves and shifts his weight, anxiousness flowing off him. “I highly doubt it. At least, Asher won’t intentionally start one.”
My brows rise. “He used to start them intentionally?”
I know I used to believe genies were violent creatures, but when I got to know Asher, I changed my mind.
“He only did it to creatures who deserved it. He wasn’t, like, beating up innocent creatures or anything like that,” Arrow quickly adds. “ I think he only did it because it was the only source of outlet for all the stuff he was going through.”
I can kind of understand that. Not that I was ever violent, but I got into trouble a lot because I was trying to deal with stuff, like my curse, the wrong way.
“You mean, with his father and Maxton?”
He nods then hesitates. “And you.”
“You mean with the curse?” I ask, and he nods again. “Oh.” I press my lips together, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I’m not even positive why it’s going crazy. I just keep thinking about Asher and the curse and how he struggled with it like I did. We get each other on that level, which frightens me a little. I’m so used to dealing with everything all by myself, but that hasn’t been the case lately, and it’s kind of weird because it’s kind of … well, wonderful. And I haven’t had a lot of wonderful in my life, which has me worried that something will happen that’ll cause me to lose it—lose the guys.
“But like I said,” Arrow continues, “Asher won’t start a fight here unless someone starts it first. Not with you around. He’d never put you at risk like that. Plus, he doesn’t have as many issues as he did before, now that Maxton is here and the curse is …” He trails off, shrugging and lowering his gaze as he scuffs the tip of his boot against the floor.
“True,” I agree. “Although, I think my existence brings on a whole other set of issues.”
His gaze collides with mine. “Har, your existence brings nothing but good. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
I let out a quiet sigh. “I appreciate you saying that, but after what Maxton told us about me … there are issues with me existing. What I am—what I can do—that’s a major issue.”
He shakes his head while carrying my gaze. “Just because you have the power to do bad things, doesn’t mean you’re going to use it to do bad stuff. Look at Asher. Most genies spend their lives tormenting and cursing wishers’ lives. But he chooses not to. In fact, he’s rarely even used his lamp.”
“Yeah … I guess I can kind of see your point,” I say. However, I can’t help thinking about that power I felt in my chest a few times and how part of me wanted to release it.
Destroy the world, Axel had whispered to me in my dreams once.
Suddenly, Arrow splays his fingers across my cheeks and cups my face between his hands. It’s a strange move for him—touching me so openly—but I love it, love the feel of his metal and flesh across my skin. Love that he’s touching me even when he knows what I am.
“You’re the kindest creature I’ve ever met,” he tells me. “And you need to start realizing that because, if you don’t, if you keep questioning your character, it’s going to weaken you. And that weakness will make it easier for other creatures to get ahold of you, and then they can use you for whatever they want.” His throat muscles work as he swallows hard.
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” I say quietly.
He hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip. “You know a little bit about my past, right? How I had a master? How I’m not like other cyborgs?”
I nod, placing my palm against his chest where I can feel his heart beating rapidly. The only cyborg with a real heart.
“Well, for a while, I hated myself because of what I was—am. And during that time is when my master had the most hold over me because I didn’t fight back, didn’t think I was good enough to fight back.” He skims the pad of his thumb along my cheekbone. “If I had, I may not have been under his control for as long. I may have even freed myself instead of Asher freeing me.” He dips his head and levels his gaze with mine. “So I want you to be strong, okay? And only think good things about yourself. Because, in the end, what you are on the inside is going to show on the outside. Can you promise me you’ll do that?”
How can I not when he’s looking at me like this?
So, I nod, hoping I’m telling the truth, that I am that strong. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He rubs his lips together, staring at me for a beat. “Can I …? Can I …?” He blows out a frustrated breath.
“What is it?” I wonder.
“I just wanted to know if I can … kiss you right now? I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I …” He exhales deafeningly, and then his heartbeat picks up as he waits.
So does mine.
I give an uneven nod, my heart acting like a hummingbird inside my chest. “Yeah, you can kiss me.”
He hesitates before slowly leaning in and brushing his lips across mine. He kisses me softly at first, just a featherlight kiss. But as I slide my hands up to his shoulders and hold on to him to steady myself, he tenses then parts my lips with his tongue and slips it into my mouth.
I suck in an uneven inhale through my nose and clutch his arms. His metal-woven muscles flex underneath my touch, and he groans. Then he falls into the kiss, tangling his tongue with mine as he glides his hands from my cheeks to my shoulders, then down my sides, finally coming to rest on my waist. His fingers tremble as he holds on to me, but he wouldn’t be my Arrow if he wasn’t a bit nervous.
My Arrow.
Like he belongs to me.
I start to roll my eyes at myself but get distracted as he glides his palms around to my lower back. The dress I’m wearing is the one that I wore to the party and is practically backless, so his palms press against my flesh. Since his palms are made of flesh, it’s skin-to-skin, so warm, so wonderful. Yep, there’s that wonderfulness again. And I have to wonder how I went so long without being touched.
Without being touched by him.
It makes me want to touch him more.
He pulls back, his eyelids lifting open. Panic is filling his eyes, and his chest rises and crashes as he breathes raggedly.
I start to panic, too, thinking I crossed a line.
“I’m sorry,” I sputter as I start to pull my hand away, but he hurriedly places a hand over mine, trapping it underneath his shirt so my palm is resting along his lower abs.
“You’re fine,” he breathes out shakily. “I’m just not used to anyone wanting to touch me like this. Not without an ulterior motive … And I …” He swallows hard. “I want you to touch me. I really do, but … Are you sure you want to?”
Even though I’m nervous as hell and have no clue what I’m doing, I nod.
“Okay,” he whispers. Then he removes his hand from mine, giving me the go-ahead to basically do whatever I want with my hands. But that doesn’t make me any less clueless about this touching stuff.
Sure, East and Asher have touched me a lot, but that was all them. Everything sexual that’s happened between us has occurred because they’ve taken the lead. I have no clue what I’m doing. But it doesn’t really seem like Arrow does, either. And knowing that, knowing that he rarely lets anyone else touch him, makes it easier for me to allow my hands to wander all along his flesh and metal, along the muscles of his chest. He shudders as my fingers travel downward, along his toned abdomen. His muscles spasm as I rest my fingers just above the waistband of his pants.
I’m breathing heavily.
So is he.
I should stop. I know I should. I’m supposed to be getting ready to go. Plus, while the guys have acted like it’s okay for me to be with all of them, none of us have actually talked about it, what the boundaries are. Not to mention, no one has told me about how we’re supposed to break the curse.
Chasing Secrets (Capturing Magic Series Book 4) Page 1