“But sweetie,” Mom says. “They get tattoos in legitimate tattoo shops that have health inspectors, not random guys apartments. Did he even use sterile needles?”
I can’t answer that, because I don’t know. I wasn’t paying that close of attention.
“You don’t have to worry,” I tell them. “I’m not going to be hanging out with those friends anymore anyway.”
“We don’t want you to give up your friends,” Mom says. Her voice is full of pain. “We just want you to make smarter decisions.”
I don’t say anything. They soon get the hint that I’m not going to add anything more to this conversation and leave me alone.
I stay locked up in my room all evening. When Mandy comes to get me for dinner, I tell her I’m not hungry and she goes away. By the time the house is silent, and everyone has gone to bed, I’m starving. I sneak to the kitchen and make myself a snack. Grabbing the pills I didn’t take with dinner, I return to my room before anyone can catch me.
Gently closing my bedroom door, I lean against it and close my eyes. When I open them, my gaze lands on the blue dress hanging on my closet door. Homecoming is in less than a week. I’m not going, and I have yet to break the news to Kane. I’m the worst girlfriend ever. And soon to be no girlfriend at all.
27
Kane
I’ve just sent Summer an incredibly cheesy meme of two chocolate bunnies, each with a bite taken out of them, when Mom claims my attention.
“Kane!”
I look up, and I feel a little guilty. She’s wearing that exasperated look again. She must’ve been trying to get my attention for a while.
“Put the phone away at the dinner table.”
I check my screen once more and see that Summer has seen my message. I hold my breath and wait for her reply, even though she hasn’t replied to a single text, voicemail, GIF, or emoji I’ve sent since the day she left school sick. I glance once more at Mom, still giving me The Look, and I set the phone down on the table beside my plate. “Sorry.”
She gives me a sad, knowing smile. “Summer?”
I nod.
She frowns. “I’m sorry, honey.”
I cut a large piece off the chicken breast on my plate and shove it in my mouth. Mom and I have already talked about my lack of contact with my girlfriend. This is my way of saying I’m done with the topic. Summer has missed school all week, and her parents won’t let her have any visitors. Worst of all, the Homecoming dance is tomorrow.
“Anyway,” Mom says, her voice brightening. “Are you excited to see your dad next weekend?”
Sill chewing the chicken, I nod, thankful for the change in subject.
“Do you two have any big plans?”
I swallow and say, “Bungee jumping.”
Mom gives me a wary look and I grin.
“Kidding, Mom.” I pause. “We’re saving that for my eighteenth birthday.”
She rolls her eyes. “You two will be the death of me.”
“He’s taking me camping,” I tell her, trying to ease her worry.
“That should be fun. But please use the marked trails, don’t go running off making your own.”
I shrug. “Sure.”
I know she doesn’t believe me, but camping is a lot safer than bungee jumping, so she lets it go.
We finish our meal, making small talk, then I retreat to my bedroom. I stare at my phone again, willing a reply to appear with just the power of my mind. Clearly The Force is not with me, as the screen remains blank.
I’m sick of waiting around. I need to see her.
I run back to the kitchen where Mom has just finished cleaning up dinner. “I’m running out for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”
Mom dismisses me with a wave of her hand, and I’m out the front door and on my bike before she can think twice.
I pedal fast and hard, eager to make good time to Summer’s house. I arrive, pulling to a stop at the end of her driveway. Pausing to catch my breath, I stare up at the house.
I let the bike fall in the grass near the top of the driveway, then walk up the front steps and knock.
Summer’s sister, Mandy, opens the door. Well, I assume it’s her sister, I’ve never actually met any member of Summer’s family. I peer over her shoulder; I’ve also never seen the inside of Summer’s house. It’s a lot fancier than my house, which contains an assortment of items Mom has collected over the years. Summer’s house looks like something out of one of the magazines you find in the waiting room at the doctor or dentist. The furniture matches and doesn't look thirty years old. There are no knick knacks sitting around either. I didn’t think real people even had houses like this.
“May I help you?” Mandy asks politely.
“Yeah, I’m here to see Summer.”
Mandy’s eyes light up, and a sly smile crosses her lips. “Are you her boyfriend?”
“Yep, I’m Kane.” I grin. “You must be Mandy.”
“Mmmhmm.” Mandy studies me, a thoughtful expression on her face. “You’re shorter than her last boyfriend.”
This doesn’t faze me. At 5’8" I’m used to guys being taller than me. “I bet I’m funnier though.”
“Probably. Bradley was boring. He would never talk to me like this either. I already like you more.”
My grin broadens, but before I can say anything, a voice interrupts us. “Kane? What are you doing here?”
I look past Mandy again and finally see Summer. She’s adorable in pink cotton PJs, her blonde hair falling loose around her shoulders. For the first time since I’ve met her, she’s not wearing makeup, and she's wearing glasses. She looks younger now, and her cheeks are flushed, but she still looks beautiful.
Summer’s eyes meet mine, her mouth falls open, and she quickly jerks the glasses from her face. It’s a shame, she looks really cute in them.
“She’s still grounded,” Mandy informs me. “But Mom and Dad are gone. I won’t tell on you.” She winks and walks past Summer into another room.
I’m left standing in the doorway with Summer in front of me.
“You can’t be here,” she says.
I close the door behind me and take one step inside. “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to see you in person to make sure you’re really okay.”
“Well, you’ve seen me. I’m fine.”
I study her closer, there are purple half moons under her eyes. She looks exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted. I know better than to say anything about this though.
“Are you sure? Is there anything I can do to help?”
She bites her lip, lost in thought for a moment, then says, “Let’s sit outside.”
She nods toward the door I’ve just closed, and I open it. “Ladies first.” I gesture for her to lead and I follow, closing the door behind us.
Summer takes a seat on the top step of the stoop, and I sit beside her. I glance around, taking in the view of the other houses nearby. A silver Lexus drives past, and I give Summer my full attention. She bites her lip again, her brow furrowed. One of her hands grips the other tightly in her lap.
“Are you really okay?” I ask.
Reaching out, I gently pry her hands apart and squeeze one with mine. I draw circles on the back of her hand with my thumb and wait for her to say anything.
The silence goes on, and finally I say, “Don’t feel bad about missing Homecoming. I just want you to get better.”
She stares at our hands a moment before pulling hers away.
She still hasn’t said anything, and I’m starting to get anxious. “Summer?”
“I can’t do this, Kane,” she says softly.
I blink at her in confusion, trying to figure out what she’s talking about. I open my mouth to say something, but as is common around Summer, I’m at a loss.
Finally, after countless painful seconds go by, I say, “I’ve already yelled at Abigail. I told her she shouldn’t have involved you in the whole tattoo thing.”
Summer finally meets my eyes. “It’s not her
fault. It’s mine. I was stupid. I knew better and I just…” Her eyes hold mine, as I wait for her to finish her sentence. “You’re a great guy, Kane. Any girl would be lucky to have you. But I just can’t be that girl.”
She stands abruptly, and before I can even comprehend what she’s just said, she’s gone. The front door opening and closing behind her before I can stop her. I stare at the door, those few solid inches separating us feel like miles. I’m still trying to make sense of everything she just said, but I think Summer just dumped me.
Finally, I pull myself to my feet and slowly trudge down her front steps. I retrieve my bike from the ground and begin the walk home. I’m too stunned to ride. I don’t get far when I change direction, hanging a left toward the beach instead of a right toward home.
When I arrive at my destination, I don’t even bother chaining my bike to a rack, instead, I haul it through the sand, find a solitary spot and sit. The gentle ocean waves do nothing to soothe my hurt and confusion.
My mind spins with thoughts of Summer. What could have happened? What did I do to lose the girl of my dreams?
Eventually, the sky becomes so dark I can no longer distinguish between sky and sea, but I know one thing for certain.
I need to come up with a plan to get Summer back.
28
Summer
It feels like a piece of me dies when I tell Kane I’m not the girl for him. Knowing that my words are truth isn’t enough to stop my heart from shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.
I lean against the door, only a few solid inches separating me from the guy I’ve somehow fallen head over heels for. The guy whose heart I know I’ve broken. The guy who is better off without me. I know he’ll get over me, find someone new, but I’ll always be broken. There’s no cure for my disease, and I won’t drag him down with me.
The sound of a chair scraping across wood pulls my attention. Mandy must be in the kitchen fixing herself a snack.
Sniffling, I wipe tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I don’t want Mandy to see me like this, so I bolt up the stairs to my room, closing the door behind me.
Monday, I have to go back to school and face everyone. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I never should have let anyone get close to me.
Oh, god, I’ll have to sit right next to Kane in foods class. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m not feeling well and spend the period with Nurse Hill. Every day. For the rest of the term.
Groaning, I throw myself face first on my bed and scream into my pillow.
Everyone is staring at me. I keep my gaze fixed to the ground in front of me, but I can feel the curious looks burning holes in the back of my head. I’m sure word got around school that I passed out in class. Disappearing for a week afterward only added fuel to the gossip fire, I’m sure.
Spinning the combination on my locker, I try to ignore everyone else. To not let their curiosity bother me. I tune them out and pretend I’m back home, alone, in the sanctity of my bedroom.
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
I nearly jump out of my skin, spinning around to face the owner of the soft voice behind me. It’s Rachel. I inhale a deep breath, bracing myself for another awkward interaction.
“Thanks,” I mumble. I turn my back on her again and shove my backpack into the narrow space. I pull out the books I need for my first two classes, catching sight of my reflection in the mirror hanging on the door. My butterfly rash is hidden beneath the makeup I carefully applied this morning, but no amount of makeup can hide the sadness in my eyes.
“You are okay, right?” Rachel hedges.
I turn around again, piercing her with a glare. “I’m fine.”
“Okay…well, I’m glad.” I expect her to leave, but she continues to stand there, making our interaction even more awkward. “Um, also, I wanted to apologize again for last spring. I never meant to hurt you. It happened so quick, and I know that’s no excuse, but I regretted it instantly.”
I can’t deal with this right now. Or ever. So I turn on my heel and walk toward my first class, which is at the end of the hall. She doesn’t follow me, and I’m grateful. If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t even care anymore about what happened between her and Bradley. That whole situation is small potatoes compared to everything else that’s happened to me since. But the betrayal still hurts, and I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive her for it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.
When I reach my classroom door, I risk a glance back. She’s still in front of my locker, but she’s no longer alone. She’s talking to a guy with a stupid haircut I’d recognize anywhere.
My breath catches and my heart plummets when he turns around, his eyes meeting mine.
Kane.
29
Kane
Summer is already standing outside the door to her classroom by the time I reach her locker. I was hoping to talk to her, but instead I’m left standing next to her ex-best friend.
“Is she really okay?” Rachel says, addressing me directly.
I pull my attention from Summer, turning my head and facing the girl beside me. Shrugging, I say, “I don’t know.”
“How could you not know?” she demands, startling me. This is the first time I’ve seen her show any emotion besides sadness and defeat.
“She dumped me, okay?” I retort angrily.
Rachel’s mouth falls open, the anger draining from her face.
I turn to walk away, but she stops me with two simple words. “I’m sorry.”
Without turning to face her again, I storm off down the hall to my own locker and grab my books for class. I need a game plan. I love Summer, and I’m not ready to let her go like this. Not without a real reason for dumping me.
“Still no Summer?” Abigail asks, sliding into her seat at lunch. She turns her head, looking around the courtyard.
“She was in chemistry,” Mark offers.
I feel Abigail’s eyes on me, but I remain silent, pretending to dig for something in the depths of my bag. I usually tell my friends everything, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell them about the breakup. The hurt is too fresh. Too deep. So I made excuses to stay home all weekend, avoiding them and the topic of Summer. My and Summer’s tickets to homecoming are still sitting on my dresser. I don’t think Mark or Abigail went, since Summer and I didn’t, but I haven’t asked.
“Really, Kane? Nothing to say?” Abigail says.
An irritated sigh, almost a growl, escapes my mouth before I can stop it.
“Whoa…” From the corner of my eye, I see Abigail physically recoil.
“You okay, man?” Mark asks.
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. Plastering on a fake grin, I open my eyes and face my friends. “She dumped me, okay?" The words burn like acid on my tongue. "But I’m going to get her back.”
Mark and Abigail exchange a doubtful look.
Averting my gaze, I shove my sandwich into my mouth and take a huge bite. I’m not very hungry, but it gives me something to do besides talking to them. I don’t think they believe that I’ll get Summer back, but they also didn’t believe me when I said I’d get her to go out with me in the first place.
I proved them wrong once, I can do it again.
Summer walks into foods class seconds before the bell rings. She hurries to her seat as Ms. Knope closes the door and begins class. I have no doubt Summer planned this so she wouldn’t have to talk to me, at least not right away.
I flip open my notebook and angrily rip out a piece of paper. Scrawling on the page, I press my pen so hard the tip nearly rips through the page. Pausing to take a deep breath, I loosen my death grip on the pen.
WHY???
Three little letters are all I write. I slide the paper across the table and stare at her profile, willing her to glance down.
Summer keeps her posture rigid, her attention focused on the front of the room. Her hands are clenched tightly together in her
lap under the table, like they were Friday night. I have to restrain myself from reaching out and forcing her grip to relax. I know it won’t help anything.
I wait. And wait. But Summer studiously ignores me the entire class period, never so much as glancing at the slip of paper. She lucks out, because there are no partner assignments today, just a lecture. When the bell rings, she’s out of her seat and racing for the door before I can even say her name.
I see Rachel watching me, and quickly crumple the sheet of paper into a ball and throw it to the bottom of my backpack. I gather the rest of my things and leave.
The remainder of the week goes by in the same vein as Monday. The tension emanating from Summer in class is almost tangible. I try slipping her a note every day in class, and every day she ignores me.
My already glum mood turns darker with every day that passes. The only bright spot in my future is my upcoming camping trip with Dad. Maybe that’ll take my mind off of Summer, and when I get back, I’ll have a stroke of genius idea to get her back.
Two honks of a car horn wake me Saturday morning, and I realize I never set my alarm. Rolling out of bed, I find a pair of shorts near my laundry hamper and pull them on in record time.
Not bothering with a shirt or shoes, I race out of my room and through the house. Throwing open the front door, I meet my dad halfway down the driveway. I nearly knock him over when I throw my arms around him, wrapping him in a hug.
I’m probably too old to act like this, but I don’t care. Ever since my parents got divorced, this is how I’ve greeted my dad when he comes to pick me up. I miss seeing him every day, and after this week, I really need him. This camping trip with Dad is the only thing that’s kept me going.
“Whoa, Kane!” Dad returns the hug, slapping my back. “Did you just roll out of bed?”
We part and I grin sheepishly. “Maybe…”
Something I'm Good At: A Sol del Mar High Novel Page 17