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by Peggy Orenstein


  221When a Dutch national poll found that most teenagers still: Schalet, Not Under My Roof.

  221Compare that to the United States, where two thirds: Martino, Collins, Elliott, et al., “It’s Better on TV.”

  222Either way, closeness can be compromised: Schalet, Not Under My Roof.

  223Girls are still more likely than boys to report: Vanwesenbeeck, “Sexual Health Behaviour Among Young People in the Netherlands.”

  223Dutch girls who have multiple casual partners: Schalet, Not Under My Roof.

  235After studying the Dutch: Schalet, “The New ABCD’s of Talking About Sex with Teenagers.”

  236They particularly wanted to know more from us about: Alexandra Ossola, “Kids Really Do Want to Have ‘The Talk’ with Parents,” Popular Science, March 5, 2015.

  236All the more reason to take a deep breath: Schear, Factors That Contribute to, and Constrain, Conversations Between Adolescent Females and Their M––others About Sexual Matters. William Fisher, a professor of psychology as well as obstetrics and gynecology, found that teens who felt positively about sex were more likely to use contraception and disease protection. They were also more likely to communicate with their partner. Fisher, “All Together Now.”

  Selected Bibliography

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  Abbey, Antonia, A. Monique Clinton-Sherrod, Pam McAuslan, et al. “The Relationship Between the Quantity of Alcohol Consumed and Severity of Sexual Assaults Committed by College Men.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 18, no. 7 (2003): 813–33.

  Abbey, Antonia, Tina Zawacki, Philip O. Buck, and A. Monique Clinton. “Alcohol and Sexual Assault.” Alcohol Research and Health 25, no. 1 (2001): 43–51.

  Abraham, Laurie. “Teaching Good Sex.” New York Times Magazine, November 16, 2011.

  Advocates for Youth. “Comprehensive Sex Education: Research and Results.” Fact Sheet. Washington, DC, 2009.

  Aligo, Scott. “Media Coverage of Female Athletes and Its Effect on the Self-Esteem of Young Women.” Research Brief: Youth Development Initiative 29, September 15, 2014, Texas A&M University, College Station, TX.

  Allison, Rachel, and Barbara J. Risman. “A Double Standard for ‘Hooking Up’: How Far Have We Come Toward Gender Equality?” Social Science Research 42, no. 5 (2013): 1191–206.

  . “‘It Goes Hand in Hand with the Parties’: Race, Class, and Residence in College Student Negotiations of Hooking Up.” Sociological Perspectives 57, no. 1 (2014): 102–23.

  American Psychological Association. Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2007.

  American Sociological Association. “Virginity Pledges for Men Can Lead to Sexual Confusion—Even After the Wedding Day.” Science Daily, August 17, 2014.

  Anonymous. “The Pretty Game: Objectification, Humiliation and the Liberal Arts.” Bowdoin Orient, February 13, 2014.

  Armstrong, Elizabeth A., Paula England, and Alison C. K. Fogarty. “Accounting for Women’s Orgasm and Sexual Enjoyment in College Hookups and Relationships.” American Sociological Review 77 (2012): 435–62.

  Armstrong, Elizabeth A., Laura Hamilton, and Paula England. “Is Hooking Up Bad for Young Women?” Contexts 9, no. 3 (2010): 22–27.

  Armstrong, Elizabeth, and Brian Sweeney. “Sexual Assault on Campus: A Multilevel, Integrative Approach to Party Rape.” Social Problems 53, no. 4 (2006): 483–99.

  Backstrom, Laura, et al. “Women’s Negotiation of Cunnilingus in College Hookups and Relationships.” Journal of Sex Research 49, no. 1 (2012): 1–12.

  Bailey, Jane, Valerie Steeves, Jacquelyn Burkell, et al. “Negotiating with Gender Stereotypes on Social Networking Sites: From ‘Bicycle Face’ to Facebook.” Journal of Communication Inquiry 37, no. 2 (2013): 91–112.

  Barron, Martin, and Michael Kimmel. “Sexual Violence in Three Pornographic Media: Toward a Sociological Explanation.” Journal of Sex Research 37, no. 2 (2000): 161–68.

  Bay-Cheng, Laina Y., and Nicole M. Fava. “Young Women’s Experiences and Perceptions of Cunnilingus During Adolescence.” Journal of Sex Research 48, no. 6 (2010): 531–42.

  Bay-Cheng, Laina Y., Adjoa D. Robinson, and Alyssa N. Zucker. “Behavioral and Relational Contexts of Adolescent Desire, Wanting, and Pleasure: Undergraduate Women’s Retrospective Accounts.” Journal of Sex Research 46 (2009): 511–24.

  Bearman, Peter S., and Hanna Brückner. “Promising the Future: Virginity Pledges and First Intercourse.” American Journal of Sociology 106, no. 4 (2001): 859–912.

  Bersamin, Melina, Deborah A. Fisher, Samantha Walker, Douglas L. Hill, et al. “Defining Virginity and Abstinence: Adolescents’ Interpretations of Sexual Behaviors.” Journal of Adolescent Health 41, no. 2 (2007): 182–88.

  Bersamin, Melina, Samantha Walker, Elizabeth. D. Walters, et al. “Promising to Wait: Virginity Pledges and Adolescent Sexual Behavior.” Journal of Adolescent Health 36, no. 5 (2005): 428–36.

  Bisson, Melissa A., and Timothy R. Levine. “Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 38 (2009): 66–73.

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  Brady, Sonya S., and Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher. “Adolescents’ Reported Consequences of Having Oral Sex Versus Vaginal Sex.” Pediatrics 119, no. 2 (2007): 229–36.

  Bridges, Ana J., Robert Wosnitzer, Erica Scharrer, et al. “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis Update.” Violence Against Women 16, no. 10 (2010): 1065–85.

  Brixton, James, Delicia Carey, Darlene Davis, et al. Sexually Transmitted Disease Surveillance, 2013. Atlanta: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2014.

  Brosi, Matthew, John D. Foubert, R. Sean Bannon, et al. “Effects of Women’s Pornography Use on Bystander Intervention in a Sexual Assault Situation and Rape Myth Acceptance.” Oracle: The Research Journal of the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors 6, no. 2 (2011): 26–35.

  Brown, Lyn Mikel, and Carol Gilligan. Meeting at the Crossroads: Women’s Psychology and Girls’ Development. New York: Ballantine Books, 1993.

  Brown, Jane D. “Mass Media Influences on Sexuality.” Journal of Sex Research 39, no. 1 (2002): 42–45.

  Brown, Jane D., and Kelly L. L’Engle. “X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated with U.S. Early Adolescents’ Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media.” Communication Research 36, no. 1 (2009): 129–51.

  Brückner, Hannah, and Peter Bearman. “After the Promise: The STD Consequences of Adolescent Virginity Pledges.” Journal of Adolescent Health 36 (2005): 271–78.

  Brugman, Margaret, Sandra L. Caron, and Jany Rademakers. “Emerging Adolescent Sexuality: A Comparison of American and Dutch College Women’s Experiences.” International Journal of Sexual Health 22, no. 1 (2010): 32–46.

  Brumberg, Joan Jacobs. The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls. New York: Random House, 1997.

  Burns, April, Valerie A. Futch, and Deborah L. Tolman. “It’s Like Doing Homework.” Sexuality Research and Social Policy 7, no. 1 (2011).

  Calogero, Rachel M. “Objects Don’t Object: Evidence That Self-Objectification Disrupts Women’s Social Activism.” Psychological Science 24, no. 3 (2013): 312–18.

  Cantor, David, Bonnie Fisher, Susan Chibnall, et al. Report on the AAU Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct. Washington, DC: Association of American Universities, 2015.

  Carey, Kate, Sarah Durney, Robyn Shepardson, et al. “Inca
pacitated and Forcible Rape of College Women: Prevalence Across the First Year.” Journal of Adolescent Health 56 (2015): 678–80.

  Caron, Sandra L. The Sex Lives of College Students: Two Decades of Attitudes and Behaviors. Orono: Maine College Press, 2013.

  Carpenter, Laura M. Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences. New York: New York University Press, 2005.

  Carr, Joetta L., and Karen M. VanDeusen. “Risk Factors for Male Sexual Aggression on College Campuses.” Journal of Family Violence 19, no. 5 (2004): 279–89.

  Carroll, Jason S., et al. “Generation XXX: Pornography Acceptance and Use Among Emerging Adults.” Journal of Adolescent Research 23 (2008): 6–30.

  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Binge Drinking: A Serious, Under-Recognized Problem Among Women and Girls.” CDC Vital Signs (blog), January 2013. Atlanta: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

  . “Caffeine and Alcohol.” Fact Sheet, November 19, 2014. Atlanta: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

  . “Reproductive Health: Teen Pregnancy, About Teen Pregnancy,” 2014. Atlanta: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

  . “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance.” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, June 13, 2014. Atlanta: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

  Chambers, Wendy C. “Oral Sex: Varied Behaviors and Perceptions in a College Population.” Journal of Sex Research 44, no. 1 (2007): 28–42.

  Chandra, Anjani, William D. Mosher, Casey E. Copen, et al. “Sexual Behavior, Sexual Attraction, and Sexual Identity in the United States: Data from the 2006–2008 National Survey of Family Growth.” National Health Statistics Reports 36, March 3, 2011. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

  Child Trends DataBank. “Oral Sex Behaviors Among Teens.” Bethesda, MD: Child Trends DataBank, 2013.

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  Collins, W. Andrew, Deborah P. Welsh, and Wyndol Furman. “Adolescent Romantic Relationships.” Annual Review of Psychology 60 (2009): 631–52.

  “Consent: Not Actually That Complicated,” Rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com, March 2, 2015.

  Copen, Casey E., Anjani Chandra, and Gladys Martinez. “Prevalence and Timing of Oral Sex with Opposite-Sex Partners Among Females and Males Aged 15–24 Years: United States 2007–2010,” National Health Statistics Reports 56 (August 16, 2012).

  Corinna, Heather. S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2007.

  Cornell, Jodi L., and Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher. “Adolescent Health Brief: Adolescents Tell Us Why Teens Have Oral Sex.” Journal of Adolescent Health 38 (2006): 299–301.

  Daniels, Elizabeth A. “Sex Objects, Athletes, and Sexy Athletes: How Media Representations of Women Athletes Can Impact Adolescent Girls and Young Women.” Journal of Adolescent Research 24 (2009): 399–422.

  The Date Rape Backlash: Media and the Denial of Rape. Transcript. Documentary produced by Sut Jhally, 1994.

  Davis, Kelly Cue. “The Influence of Alcohol Expectancies and Intoxication on Men’s Aggressive Unprotected Sexual Intentions.” Experimental and Clinical Psychopharmacology 18, no. 5 (2010): 418–28.

  Diamond, Lisa. “Introduction: In Search of Good Sexual-Developmental Pathways for Adolescent Girls.” In Rethinking Positive Adolescent Female Sexual Development. Edited by Lisa Diamond. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2006, pp. 1–7.

  Diamond, Lisa, and Ritch Savin-Williams. “Adolescent Sexuality.” In Handbook of Adolescent Psychology. Edited by Richard M. Lerner and Laurence Steinberg. 3rd ed. New York: Wiley, 2009, pp. 479–523.

  Dillard, Katie. “Adolescent Sexual Behavior: Demographics.” 2002. Advocates for Youth, Washington, DC.

  Dotson-Blake, Kylie P., David Knox, and Marty E. Zusman. “Exploring Social Sexual Scripts Related to Oral Sex: A Profile of College Student Perceptions.” Professional Counselor 2 (2012): 1–11.

  Douglass, Marcia, and Lisa Douglass. Are We Having Fun Yet? The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Sex. New York: Hyperion, 1997.

  Dunn, Hailee, A. Gjelsvik, D. N. Pearlman, et al. “Association Between Sexual Behaviors, Bullying Victimization and Suicidal Ideation in a National Sample of High School Students: Implications of a Sexual Double Standard.” Women’s Health Issues 24, no. 5 (2014): 567–74.

  Edwards, Sarah R., Kathryn A. Bradshaw, and Verlin B. Hinsz. “Denying Rape but Endorsing Forceful Intercourse: Exploring Differences Among Responders.” Violence and Gender 1, no. 4 (2014): 188–93.

  England, Paula, et al. “Hooking Up and Forming Romantic Relationships on Today’s College Campuses.” In Gendered Society Reader. Edited by Michael S. Kimmel and Amy Aronson. 3rd ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 2008.

  Englander, Elizabeth. “Low Risk Associated with Most Teenage Sexting: A Study of 617 18-Year-Olds.” MARC Research Reports, Paper 6, 2012. Bridgewater, MA: Virtual Commons–Bridgewater State University.

  Exner-Cortens, Deinera, John Eckenrode, and Emily Rothman. “Longitudinal Associations Between Teen Dating Violence Victimization and Adverse Health Outcomes.” Pediatrics 131, no. 1 (2013): 71–78.

  Fardouly, Jasmine, Phillipa C. Diedrichs, Lenny R. Vartanian, et al. “Social Comparisons on Social Media: The Impact of Facebook on Young Women’s Body Image Concerns and Mood.” Body Image 13 (2015): 38–45.

  Fava, Nicole M., and Laina Y. Bay-Cheng. “Young Women’s Adolescent Experiences of Oral Sex: Relation of Age of Initiation to Sexual Motivation, Sexual Coercion, and Psychological Functioning.” Journal of Adolescence 30 (2012): 1–11.

  Fay, Joe. “Teaching Teens About Sexual Pleasure.” SIEUS Report 30, no. 4 (2002): 1–7.

  Fine, Michelle. “Sexuality, Schooling, and Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire.” Harvard Educational Review 58 (1988): 29–53.

  Fine, Michelle, and Sara McClelland. “Sexuality Education and Desire: Still Missing After All These Years.” Harvard Educational Review 76 (2006): 297–338.

  Finer, Lawrence B., and Jesse M. Philbin. “Sexual Initiation, Contraceptive Use, and Pregnancy Among Young Adolescents.” Pediatrics 131, no. 5 (2013): 886–91.

  Finkelhor, David, Heather Turner, and Richard Ormrod. “Children’s Exposure to Violence: A Comprehensive National Survey.” Juvenile Justice Bulletin, October 2009.

  Fisher, Deborah A., Douglas L. Hill, Joel W. Grube, et al. “Televised Sexual Content and Parental Mediation: Influences on Adolescent Sexuality.” Media Psychology 12, no. 2 (2009): 121–47.

  Fisher, Maryanne, Kerry Worth, Justin Garcia, et al. “Feelings of Regret Following Uncommitted Sexual Encounters in Canadian University Students.” Culture, Health and Sexuality 14, no. 1 (2012): 45–57.

  Fisher, William A. “All Together Now: An Integrated Approach to Preventing Adolescent Pregnancy and STD/HIV Infection.” SIECUS Report 18, no. 4 (1990): 1–14.

  Fortenberry, Dennis J. “Puberty and Adolescent Sexuality.” Hormones and Behavior 64, no. 2 (2013): 280–87.

  Fortenberry, Dennis J., Vanessa Schick, Debby Herbenick, et al. “Sexual Behaviors and Condom Use at Last Vaginal Intercourse: A National Sample of Adolescents Ages 14 to 17 Years.” Journal of Sexual Medicine 7, suppl. 5 (2010): 305–14.

  Foubert, John D., Matthew W. Brossi, and R. Sean Bannon. “Pornography Viewing Among Fraternity Men: Effects on Bystander Intervention, Rape Myth Acceptance, and Behavioral Intent to Commit Sexual Assault.” Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention 18, no. 4 (2011): 212–31.

  Foubert, John D., Jonathan T. Newberry, and Jerry L. Tatum. “Behavior Differences Seven Months Later: Effects of a Rape Prevention Program on First-Year Men Who Join Fraternities.” NASPA Journal 44 (2007): 728–49.

  Ford, Jessie, and Paula England. “What Percent of College Women A
re Sexually Assaulted in College?” Contexts.com, January 12, 2015.

  Fox, Jesse, Rachel A. Ralston, Cody K. Cooper, et al. “Sexualized Avatars Lead to Women’s Self-Objectification and Acceptance of Rape Myths.” Psychology of Women Quarterly, October 2014.

  Fredrickson, Barbara, et al. “That Swimsuit Becomes You: Sex Differences in Self-Objectification, Restrained Eating, and Math Performance.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998): 269–84.

  Fredrickson, Barbara, and Tomi-Ann Roberts. “Objectification Theory: Toward Understanding Women’s Lived Experience and Mental Health Risks.” Psychology of Women Quarterly 21 (1997): 173–206.

  Friedman, Jaclyn, and Jessica Valenti. Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. New York: Seal Press, 2008.

  Garcia, Justin R., Chris Reiber, Sean G. Massey, et al. “Sexual Hook-Up Culture: A Review.” Review of General Psychology 16, no. 2 (2012): 161–76.

  Gerressu, Makeda, et al. “Prevalence of Masturbation and Associated Factors in a British National Probability Survey.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 37 (2008): 266–78.

  Gilligan, Carol, Nona Lyons, and Trudy Hanmer, eds. Making Connections: The Relational Worlds of Adolescent Girls at Emma Willard School. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1990.

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  Grello, Catherine M., et al. “No Strings Attached: The Nature of Casual Sex in College Students.” Journal of Sex Research 43 (2006): 255–67.

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