Cognati: An Inferno World Novel

by Elizabeth Gray

  “Come back tomorrow night,” Luke says. “I can teach you both lessons. Lessons I learned. About fucking and stuff.”

  “It’s not appropriate,” I mutter weakly. “Pa does the teachings around here.”

  Though he never teaches us about the things we want to learn. Like fucking.

  “I’ll be back tomorrow night,” Karen tells him. “I promise.”

  My heart does a flop in my chest, though it shouldn’t. She’s my sister, not my wife. What we’ve done is wrong. Sinful. I hate how I want to do it again.

  She bends over to kiss my cheek, close to my mouth. My penis is fully hard again and I want to cry out in frustration. I’m eager to grab her and pull her back to me, but she’s already retreating for the door. The wet spot on her gown is sobering.

  I’ve tainted her with my sin.

  Her devious smile over her shoulder makes me forget why that’s a bad thing.

  * * *

  Karen

  “Carefully push the needle into that hole,” Linda says softly, her voice barely a whisper, her blond hair curtaining her features. “That completes the stitch.”

  I hate this.

  Everything that’s been on the agenda today has been a bore.

  There’s more to being a wife than mending things or cooking or cleaning. I need to know every detail.

  “Is it a wife’s duty to help the husband when he’s hard?” I ask, my cheeks burning bright at my question.

  Linda stiffens and snaps her head up. Her blue eyes are wide with horror. “What?”

  “Do you put your hand on his penis and—”

  She slaps me. So hard I cry out and rub at the stinging flesh. Linda has never hit me. She’s barely spoken to me. Tears threaten and I drop my gaze to the needle.

  “I’m sorry,” I breathe. “Please don’t tell Pa. I was simply curious.”

  “You can’t ever let him hear you speak so crudely,” she chides, her hand covering mine in a gentle pat. “He’ll put you in the white room.”

  We’ve all been in the white room, though Kristopher spends the most time there. Linda’s punishments are usually more brutal. I’ve seen Pa take his belt to her bottom. He’d dragged her dress up her hips and striped her pale skin with his leather. I remember the crimson welts as though they were my own.

  “I’m a grown woman. I’ll most likely be married soon. I only wanted to be prepared.”

  Her lips press together and she scrutinizes me. “He would find out if I told you.”

  “He doesn’t have to know.”

  Her eyes widen. “I shouldn’t.”

  “Please,” I whisper. “Anything. I want to be ready.”

  “Why are you so eager to be a wife?”

  “Because I want to be loved.”

  “You are loved,” she reminds me. “Everyone here loves you.”

  Especially Kristopher. No one could ever love me like he does. I can’t help but think about what Luke said last night. How fucking feels really good with the woman you love. A chill ripples down my spine.

  “I want to have a baby,” I tell her. “And I don’t know how that works.”

  Linda reaches up and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I really shouldn’t.”

  “Please.”

  She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh. Then, she darts her eyes toward the doorway of my room. Pa’s voice drones from the living room where he speaks to the boys. It’s safe to speak freely.

  “When a husband wants to make love, his wife must always be ready,” Linda whispers. “Even if she doesn’t feel up to it or is tired or sad.” She shudders. “He’ll expect you to be naked. Giving.”

  “How? What do I give him?”

  “Yourself,” she breathes. “You…you lie back on the bed and spread your legs. He’ll push his penis inside you. It takes a few thrusts and it can sometimes be painful. Then, he’ll fill you with semen so you can make a baby.”

  It doesn’t sound all that wonderful, but it doesn’t sound difficult. I like Luke’s explanation better.

  “How come you and Pa haven’t made a baby yet?” I ask, frowning. They’ve been married for nearly ten years now. She was three years younger than I am now when they were married.

  “Sometimes it’s not that easy,” she tells me in a grumpy tone. “Sometimes God doesn’t have it in his plan.”

  Babies should always be in God’s plan.

  “The semen comes from his penis,” I utter. “What does it look like?”

  “Milky white. Sort of clear. There’s sperm in it. The sperm is what fertilizes your eggs.”

  I giggle. “Like a chicken?”

  She cracks a smile. “Something like that, sweetie. You know when you bleed each month? That’s an unfertilized egg.”

  I’ve wasted so many babies.

  Tears prickle at my eyes.

  “I need a husband right now,” I tell her.

  “There are no suitable husbands for you,” she says in a tight voice. “Not everyone sees things the way your pa does. Not many families want to marry their children off when they’re still young.”

  “You were sixteen,” I argue.

  “And it wasn’t right,” she snaps, fury blazing in her eyes.

  “I could marry Kristopher.”

  She slaps me again. “Don’t speak of such things.”

  “But Pa is your—”

  “Karen!” Linda yells, rising to her feet as her face turns bright red. “You know we are never to speak about those things. Charles has forbidden it.”

  Footsteps stomp down the hallway. Linda flinches and I drop the needlework onto the bed. Pa’s massive frame fills the doorway and a furious expression is on his face.

  “What’s going on in here?” he demands.

  “We were talking about Tabitha Spencer’s new baby,” Linda lies. She lies!

  Pa’s brows furrow as his gaze darts between us. “I don’t tolerate gossiping in this house,” he growls. “But I especially don’t tolerate lying.”

  How does he know she lied?

  His gaze snaps to me. “I can always tell,” he says, reading my mind. “I know everything that goes on inside those heads of yours.” He unbuckles his belt. “Which is why I need to whip you both.”

  Linda shakes her head. “It was me, Charles. I swear. She was listening to me rant about that vile woman. I swear to you.”

  His belt slides from the hoops with a loud swoosh. “Keep spilling your lies, woman. For every lash you get, Karen will get two.”

  I hug my middle. “W-What? Why?”

  “So you two learn your lesson.” He prowls over to Linda. “Bend over Karen’s bed and lift your dress. You move, you earn more. You know the rules.”

  She sobs as she obeys. I stand there frozen, staring at her pale legs as she reveals them. They’re covered in fingerprint sized bruises. He strikes her with the leather hard over her underwear. Linda howls and clenches her bottom cheeks. Another strike, harder than the first sends her scrambling away. He grabs her thigh and drags her back. Three more strikes and then he shoves away from her. She sobs loudly, making the whole bed tremble.

  I don’t want the belt.

  My eyes lock with Pa’s. “Please,” I beg. “Please.”

  “I’ve been lenient with you, Karen. Too lenient. Your brother, because he’s a man, has taken more punishments than you. I’ve allowed it. But if you’re so eager to become a wife, then you must learn to behave. You’re no longer a child. Gossiping and lying is childish behavior.” He nods at the bed beside Linda. “Bend over. You have ten coming your way.”

  Ten?

  Ten lashes?

  Hot tears stream down my cheeks as I gape at him. “C-Can I go to the white room instead?”

  “Bend over, child. You’re making this worse on yourself.”

  I shakily step toward the bed. “I’m scared.”

  “As you should be. Bend over.”

  A sob escapes me as I reluctantly bend over onto the bed, resting on my elbows wit
h my bottom pushed out. Pa is gentle as he lifts the dress up my thighs. The fabric tickles my skin. It would almost feel good, except I know pain is headed my way. He pushes the dress up my back. Everything feels too exposed. When his fingers hook into my underwear, I tense up.

  “You’re going to feel every lash as you were meant to. No barrier. Linda earned the barrier as she tried to protect you. Very motherly for a woman who is not your mother. You, child, have been wicked.”

  I whimper as my underwear falls to the floor at my ankles. I’m terrified that he can see every part of me exposed. Parts only my husband is supposed to see.

  “I know you’re curious about becoming a wife,” Pa says, “and I know you’re in here asking questions. If you’re ready for those lessons, then so be it, but I’m the one to give them, not Linda. I’m your father and it’s my place.”

  Linda cries harder, which makes my fear escalate. What sort of lessons? He wouldn’t perform a husbandly duty, would he?

  “I’m not going to take your virginity,” he growls. “I’m going to teach you, though.” He palms my bottom. “A man shouldn’t take his wife in her anus, but sometimes it’s necessary for her to please him, even if it hurts. Some men require more pleasure than others. Isn’t that right, Linda?” His thumb brushes over my puckered hole between my cheeks. “That is your anus.”

  My skin burns hot, but I don’t have words to respond with.

  “A husband will regularly take his wife in her vagina. God has given you a piece of flesh just inside that her father may check to make sure she’s still a virgin.” He presses his finger into my body, making me cry out from the burn. “Ahh, there it is. Good girl. Still pure.” Thankfully, he removes his finger. I’ve barely recovered from the unwanted intrusion when fire licks across my bottom. I howl in pain.

  I can’t take this.

  Not nine more.

  Another lash hits me, and then I’m on the move. I get tangled up in my hair as I try to escape. He easily drags me to the edge to whip me again. His elbow pins me painfully in the spine as he hits me again. And again and again.

  I black out.

  Too much.

  When I come to, it’s in my father’s arms. He’s rocking me and singing me a hymn I recognize. My bottom is on fire and my underwear is missing.

  “Did you learn your lesson, child?” he asks, his breath hot on the top of my head.

  “Yes, sir,” I croak out.

  “A husband isn’t unlike a father. After he punishes, he must always comfort his wife. Just as I’m comforting you.”

  I wonder if he comforted Linda too.

  “I’m sorry that I haven’t taught you what you need to learn yet,” he says with a shame-filled sigh. “But I will. You’ve proven you’re ready. After your bath tonight, come upstairs.”

  I stiffen in his arms. “Upstairs?”

  “I’ll make love to Linda and you can see how it’s done. You’ll watch the lesson until I relieve you to go.”

  “I will see you naked, though.”

  “The lesson can’t be taught fully clothed, child. Just as your lesson earlier needed to be taught without your underwear.”

  I nod because I want to learn. “Yes, sir.”

  He kisses the top of my head. “Good girl.” He tickles my side much like when I was little and a giggle escapes me. “Who knows, sweetheart. Maybe you’ll turn out to be such a good wife I’ll want to keep you for myself.”

  I frown. “What about Linda?”

  “She’s not always a good wife. And she can’t give me more beautiful children like you.”

  “You think I will be able to have babies one day?”

  “Of course, angel. I do. It’s hard for a father to let go of his only daughter. Sometimes I don’t think that I ever will.”

  All my dreams have been of marrying a man from our church. But then I’d have to move in with him. Away from my family. If I were Pa’s wife, I could see Kristopher every day.

  “I’m looking forward to tonight’s lesson, Pa.”

  He gently pats my sore bottom. “Me too, Karen.”

  * * *

  Luke

  Kristopher finally stopped crying. I’ve never seen someone so broken and sad, which is saying a lot because my mother had plenty to cry about. He flinched each time the belt slapped her skin. We could hear it all the way in the living room. It was as though he felt each whipping.

  For me, it was different.

  I felt them all.

  In my dick.

  It’s how I know I’ll be a better husband than Kristopher to my wife one day. Uncle Charles’s lessons are enlightening. The power we have over our family and their well-being is both overwhelming and exciting. I crave to become a provider and protector. Uncle Charles is so strong and intelligent. Where I soak in his words, Kristopher seems to recoil from them.

  His wife will be so disappointed.

  The lashes have long stopped, as has the crying. Linda flew through here a bit ago, her cheeks stained with tears. Her heels clomped up the stairs and then it was quiet again. I’m curious to see what Uncle Charles is doing now. I refuse to get off the couch, though. He looked us both in the eye and told us not to move.

  The floorboards creak as he comes back. Seconds later, he appears in the doorway to the living room. His light brown hair is disheveled, and his hazel eyes are alight with something close to madness. I note that he’s hard in his slacks. Just like me. Uncle Charles finger combs his hair back and sits down in a chair. He picks up the Bible as though nothing interrupted us. But, rather than hopping back to the lesson about providing a bounty of food for your family, he stops and sighs.

  “A wife must be punished. They’re…” he trails off. “They’re unruly by nature. It’s because of the damn serpent.”

  “Serpent?”

  “You know the story, boy. The serpent spoke evil to the woman and she disobeyed her husband. Ruined our ability to trust them forevermore. It’s why it’s crucial for us to watch for their nonverbal cues. Study their patterns. Learn their lies. They always lie, boys.” He sighs heavily. “You need to be able to know your wife better than she knows herself. So you can act in her best interest.”

  “How can you tell?” I ask, transfixed by his words.

  “Their eyes move a lot. Darken with fear or nervousness. Nostrils flare. Lips part. If you’re holding her wrist, her pulse will grow erratic. Sometimes her hands will tremble.”

  “Fascinating,” I murmur. “And when she lies?”

  “You call her out and always punish her so that she learns from her mistakes.”

  Kristopher’s teeth grind together.

  Uncle Charles narrows his eyes at him. “It’s time, son.”

  This throws Kristopher off because he gapes at his father. “Time for what?”

  “To court a young woman. You’re ready to become a husband.”

  I sit up, grinning. “Can I court one too?”

  “Not yet, boy, as you’re just learning. Kristopher has had years of lessons. You’ll chaperone Kristopher and his future wife.”

  My dick jolts in my slacks as I imagine watching them kiss and do other things.

  “Who will I court?” Kristopher asks in astonishment.

  “Maude Stevens, of course. I’ve already spoken to her father about sending her over for supper tonight.”

  Kristopher lets out a harsh breath. “What about Karen? Will she be courted by a boy too?”

  Slowly, Uncle Charles shakes his head. “Not yet, son. She has other lessons to learn. I’ll start those this evening.”

  Something tells me I want to be a part of those lessons too.

  “Are those lessons ones I can participate in?” I ask, eager to learn.

  Uncle Charles cocks his head to the side. “I’ll think about it. Continue to prove yourself as a studious, good boy, and you’ll be rewarded with knowledge.”

  “Thank you.”

  He smiles at me. “Certainly. We’re family and family takes care of one ano
ther.”

  I’m supposed to be bringing more firewood in, but my hole calls to me. It’s small, but I see promise. A future. A home, only if I dig. I try not to ruin my slacks as I kneel beside the hole in the dirt, but it’s unavoidable. My fingers dig into the cold earth and I drag heaping mounds of dirt from the hole. I reach and scoop over and over again until my neck hurts from having to lean forward into the growing hole so much.

  Dig. Dig. Dig.

  It clears my mind and soothes my soul.

  The earth is quiet and calming. I want to put something in it. A seed? Grow something big and beautiful? Only something perfect and worthy belongs here.

  A shadow falls on me, but I don’t stop.

  Not now.

  It’s just deep enough that if I were to squat inside, I could hide. I don’t know that I want to hide there, but I like that it’s growing bigger. Sliding into the hole, I begin scooping handfuls out and tossing them behind me. The shadow moves to the side but remains nearby.

  “That’s enough, boy.”

  I startle and rise, my body aching and trembling from exertion. Turning, I regard my uncle, who stands tall like one of the trees nearby.

  “Is this what you were asked to do?” he asks, his voice calm.

  “No, sir. I was to retrieve firewood.”

  “And yet you’re here.”

  “It must be done.”

  His head tilts to the side. “I had plans for this land. You act as though it belongs to you now.”

  “We’re family,” I say breathlessly. “Family shares.”

  He smirks. “Agreed. And while I appreciate your zeal, boy, you still must be punished.”

  “The belt, sir?”

  His tongue clicks. “No. The white room.”

  I look down at my clothes. “I’m dirty.”

  “The white room will make you clean.”

  “There’s a shower there?”

  “No, boy, you’ll shower and then make your way into the white room. All the filth in your mind will be erased. Do you have filth in your mind that clogs up your good intentions? You were supposed to fetch firewood and yet here you dig in the dirt, disobeying my orders.”