I wiped the sweat from my hands onto my jeans. I didn’t have any connection to Stella.
Would she sense that? What if it’s me she doesn’t like?
“Relax, baby.” Lawson leaned in and murmured in my ear. “She’ll love you as much as I do.”
7. Quinn
Well fucking hell. This was a lot – like, A LOT, a lot.
They were parents now... my best friend and my big brother had their own little family.
Sweet baby Jesus.
Life just went from partying to diapers real quick.
I am so glad it’s not me.
I felt like a selfish bitch for thinking that, but hell, it was true. I was not at the stage in my life where I was ready for a baby. I would have taken her – in a heartbeat... but I wouldn’t have been anywhere near ready. And Colt... god I couldn’t even imagine what he would have done. He was just a baby himself.
A really, really persistent baby...
Lawson and El... they could handle this – they were solid.
I looked down at the sweet little girl in my arms. I loved her already. She was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen in my life and I was going to be the coolest aunty in the world.
I glanced at El, she was nervous. I would be too; meeting a baby that would eventually call me Mom... it was fucking huge.
I can’t believe she’s going to be a mom!
I had to admit it was hard being here, seeing that the man whose name was written on my birth certificate had wanted this family, but hadn’t wanted mine.
Hadn’t wanted me...
I knew I shouldn’t give a fuck, but part of me did, just a tiny bit.
Stella squirmed in my arms and snapped me out of it.
“Your turn, El,” I announced, and stepped towards the only sister I’d ever known – at least until now.
“Oh okay... shit—” El clapped a hand over her mouth. “Did I just swear in front of her already?” she whispered, clearly horrified.
“Who gives a fuck?” I crooned in my best baby voice. “You don’t have a clue... do you, baby girl?”
“Quinn!” El snapped playfully. “Give her here before she starts cussing like a sailor.”
“Here you go, Momma,” I said quietly as I passed her over.
El gaped at the name and I saw tears shining in her eyes.
“You’re her mom now, El,” I told her in a whisper.
She nodded and bit down on her lip, I knew she was trying to reign in her emotions and hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
The minute El had Stella in her arms her body began to automatically rock slowly from side to side. They locked eyes and it was as though they’d known each other forever.
I let out the breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding.
They’re all gonna be okay.
Lawson stepped behind El and wrapped his arms around her waist. I could hear El talking softly to Stella, but I couldn’t make out the words – they were just for the three of them.
I pulled out my phone and quietly took a few photos.
I would never forget this moment, not for the rest of my life. The photos were for Stella, so she could look back on this day, and see the first moment she was loved unconditionally by her second set of parents.
“Sometimes it knocks the breath right out of me, realizing how lucky I am to be here and alive with you. To be the one you feel safe with. To be the one whose bones you curl up into when it’s cold. To be the one whose mouth you drowsily kiss when you are half asleep in my arms.”
- Beau Taplin
8. Lawson
How the fuck did I get so lucky?
El was a complete natural with Stella; it was as though she was born to be a mother.
We’d been here all afternoon, learning her cues, feeding and changing her. Caroline had stayed with us, and I was grateful; we were essentially still strangers to Stella and I didn’t want to frighten her.
We didn’t seem like strangers though...
It was clear to see that she was comfortable with both El and I. She had barely cried, she smiled often and babbled away at us constantly.
The one time she had gotten upset, El had passed her to me while she went to find a bottle – I’d looked into her eyes and she’d calmed down. It wasn’t hard to figure out why. I’d never been happier to look like my father, I was just grateful that being his spitting image would help this little girl transition into our lives.
“She’s asleep,” El told me quietly as she tip-toed into the room and sank down onto the couch.
Caroline followed her out and laughed. “You don’t need to be quiet, honey, that little girl sleeps like the dead. You won’t hear from her again until morning.”
“You’re not staying?” I asked, suddenly nervous.
“I’m just down the hall, but you won’t need me, she’ll be out to it for at least the next ten hours.”
“Really?” El gaped. “Aren’t babies meant to wake up all the time?”
“Not this one. She’s slept solidly through the night since she was ten weeks old. She’s a real dream in that respect.” Caroline began collecting her various items from around the room. “The first hiccup might come when we run out of breast milk; she’s never tried formula before.”
“I’ll run out and get her some tomorrow,” El said, making a note on her phone. “At least we know she’ll take a bottle.”
“If she’s anything like her aunty, she’ll drink anything,” Quinn teased.
“That sounds weird.” I shook my head and grinned at her. “Aunty Quinn.”
“You know what sounds weirder?”
I laughed – I knew where this was going.
Q pointed at me. “You’re a daddy.”
I knew she expected me to look stunned, shocked... even a little horrified maybe.
“I guess I am.” I chuckled. “Who the hell would have thought, huh?”
El gave me a megawatt smile and snuggled into my side. Quinn huffed – she was hoping I’d flip.
Not this time, little sis.
***
El had checked Stella about half a dozen times since Caroline left us, before conceding that she did in fact, sleep like the dead.
I’d even given in to the urge, checking myself, and sure enough, she was out to it.
“Okay, so what will happen to all of this?” El waved her hand around, gesturing to all of the belongings.
I looked at Quinn; it was her decision to make.
“Well it’s all going to have to go.” She glanced around. “I was thinking it might be nice for Stella if you took some of the paintings to hang at home – you know, so she has some familiar sights.”
It was a good idea.
“I’ll arrange to have them packaged up,” I told the girls.
“Obviously we’ll take everything of Stella’s with us,” Quinn went on. “I think the rest should just be brought back with us and stored, and the apartment rented. That way it will make Stella some money, and she can decide what she wants to do with it all when she’s older.”
I nodded. I was happy Quinn was on the ball with all of this; my head was all caught up in bottles, sleep times and diapers. I was betting El’s was too.
How the hell we were going to run two companies, operate the restaurant, care for Stella and the dogs, and still find time for each other was beyond me. The phrase ‘bitten off more than you can chew’ flashed through my mind.
“Lawson?” El nudged me in the side.
“Huh?”
“Quinn asked if there is anything here you want to take?”
“Oh right. Sorry. I don’t think so, but I’ll take a look.”
Quinn started making notes on her phone, probably of all the things she’d need to have moved.
“Are you okay?” El whispered.
I smiled as I brushed a strand of hair from her face. “I’m fine; I guess I’m just worried about how we’ll manage our lives when we get back.”
El
sighed. “I wondered the same thing. We both work so much.”
“I think I’ll cut down on my hours,” I told her. “Logan is too good to be a project manager; I could promote him to my second in charge. He can handle it.”
“But you love your work,” El protested.
I chuckled softly. “So, you’re telling me that you haven’t already thought about how you can spend less time in the office?”
El blushed and gave me a guilty smile.
I thought so.
I tapped the end of her nose. “You love your work too, baby.”
“I think I already love her more,” she whispered, snuggling in even closer to me.
Yup... I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world...
***
Caroline was right – we didn’t hear a peep from Stella until half past seven in the morning. Even then it was just a quiet jabbering that I could hear through the baby monitor.
“I’ll get her.” I yawned, getting no response from El. I rolled over, but she was already gone.
“Good morning, precious girl,” El’s sweet voice came through the monitor. “You slept for such a long time.” I heard the sounds of her diaper being changed and then the sucking noises of El feeding her a bottle. It made me smile.
I think I could get used to this.
“You have a big day today, little girl. We have to say goodbye to your mommy and daddy,” I heard El’s voice crack a little at the statement.
I jumped out of the bed and threw on some pants. My heart melted at what I heard next.
“But it’s okay, you have us now and we’ll do everything in this world to care for you... you will have so much love in your life, Stella.”
I quietly made my way to Stella’s door. They were sitting together in the rocking chair, Stella propped up in El’s arms.
Seeing the two of them together like that ... everything fell into place. A wave of sadness washed over me for the parents she’d lost – ones that she’d never remember. It was quickly chased away by a burst of gratitude, to my father. He may have been an absolute prick, but he hadn’t denied me or Stella this, he had given us the chance to be a family.
Ellerslie and I would make sure Stella’s life was never anything but full.
9. Ellerslie
The past few days had been some of the most draining I’d ever experienced. Lawson, Quinn and I had taken Stella to farewell her parents. It was an incredibly emotional experience. There were so many people there to meet, talk to, and receive condolences from.
I’d thought Lawson was going to lose it if he had to hear one more ‘I’m sorry for your loss’.
I was glad he was there for their service, in time he would be glad too.
I think he’d finally put his anger towards his father to rest. He had more important things to focus on now.
We’d gone through every belonging in the apartment yesterday, taking the things we thought would be useful for Stella, and packing up the rest for storage. Lawson had arranged for a company to come and package the paintings. They were being shipped to our house along with all the furniture and items from Stella’s nursery.
I lightly bounced Stella up and down on my knee as she stared out the window of the plane. We were about to descend and take her home for the first time.
She was the sweetest baby, only crying if she was hungry or needing a diaper change, and they were easy fixes. If she was tired, she slept – wherever she was. It was as though she knew this was a lot for us to take on, and she was making it as easy as possible.
I’d spoken with Reeve about the adoption several times. We needed to start the process as soon as possible, the only trouble being that we weren’t married yet. That meant that Lawson might have to do it alone. He’d said he wasn’t adopting her without me – so we were at an impasse. The last thing we needed was a problem occurring in the next few months while we waited for the wedding – it was unlikely, but it was a risk I didn’t like taking. Reeve was busy searching for a loop hole on the marriage condition.
“The apartment is already rented,” Quinn told me as she leaned around Lawson’s sleeping body.
“Wow that was quick. How much is it going for?”
Quinn held out her phone to show me the figure.
“Holy shit!” I replied a little too loudly. I shot the older gentleman down the row an apologetic glance. “Go Stella.”
She was going to make a fortune off that place. Michael and Cassandra had owned it outright, and now it was hers.
“It was a good call keeping it, Q.” I shot Quinn a grateful look. I had so much on my plate with baby stuff; I was so glad that we could rely on her. She would always look out for Stella’s best interests.
Quinn reached around and held her hand out to Stella – she wrapped her tiny hand around Q’s finger.
“Are you doing okay with all this, El? I wouldn’t blame you if you were freaking out.”
I was freaking out – completely freaking out. But at the same time, I was at peace with it all. She was a part of my life now, a big part of my life. Already I knew I wouldn’t give her up for anything.
“I am worried about how we’ll find time for everything,” I confessed, fiddling with Stella’s tights. I glanced at Lawson to make sure he was still sleeping. “I’m worried we’ll lose some of the magic we’ve got... we won’t have the same time for each other as we do now.”
Quinn nodded.
“Don’t get me wrong... I want her, I really do. She’s ours now... but I just found him, you know?”
“I get it, girl.” Quinn looked at me in understanding. “But I don’t think you have anything to worry about... Lawson is so in love with you, El. He won’t let anything tear the two of you apart. If anything, he’ll find a way to make her bring you closer together.”
I smiled. She was probably right. Lawson had a way of finding the positive in a shitty situation.
“I really hope you’re right.”
***
“This is it, baby girl.” I walked Stella slowly down the hallway as Lawson put down our suitcases.
“This is your new home, Stella,” I heard Lawson’s deep voice from behind us.
Stella cooed at the sound of his voice. She loved him.
I don’t blame her.
“Should we get her settled in for the night?” Lawson asked.
“Do you want a bath, Stella girl? Huh? A nice warm bath?” I crooned to her and kissed her cheeks.
She giggled and squirmed in my arms.
“Let’s go, my beautiful girls.”
Swoon.
***
It was official. Stella was an absolute trooper. We’d given her a nice long bath, filled her to the brim with milk, and put her down in the room closest to ours, in a portable cot we’d purchased on our way home from the airport.
She hadn’t batted an eyelid.
I was waiting for it... waiting for the shit to hit the fan. She’d gotten a little upset and vomited a bit when we’d had to switch from the breast milk to baby formula, but so far that was the biggest problem we’d had.
It was too good to be true.
Life had taught me, if something was too good to be true – then it probably was.
Only one exception sprang to mind...
Lawson.
He was far too good to be true, but he was mine.
My phone pinged with a message.
“Hey, honey, I’m sorry, but I can’t get around this marriage clause. I’ll call you tomorrow about the options we have.”
“Reeve text,” I called out to Lawson. “He can’t find a way out of this marriage thing. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
“Shit.” Lawson walked out of the bathroom, flicking the light off behind him. “I was counting on him sorting that crap out. My fucking father had to do something to make life difficult, didn’t he? Giving us his daughter wasn’t quite enough.” He huffed out a breath in frustration, running his hand through his hair.
I was suddenly
so tired. I held my arms out for Lawson and he hopped into the bed, snuggling in next to me.
I held him close and ran my fingers softly down his arms.
“We’ll sort it out tomorrow, cowboy. Get some sleep.”
***
Why the fuck didn’t I think of that before?
I sat up straight in bed. We’d been back home for two days; all of Stella’s things had arrived last night and were still cluttering up the hallway.
Lawson moaned and rolled back over, he was still asleep.
I couldn’t believe my mind hadn’t made this connection before now.
I wonder if I can use baby brain as an excuse?
I slipped out of bed and grabbed my robe as I made my way out the door. I popped my head in to check on Stella – she was still out to it as well.
My mind was going crazy with ideas and possibilities.
I pulled up Quinn’s number on my phone and hit the call button as I walked down the stairs.
“Hello?” Quinn’s voice was groggy and disoriented.
Oops...
“Hell, what time is it?”
“It is...” she paused to look at the screen of her phone. “Six in the morning, El. What the fuck?”
I held back a giggle. “Sorry, but it’s important.”
She yawned, and I heard her getting comfortable. “Go on...”
“So, you know how Reeve can’t find a way to get around the marriage condition for the adoption—”
“Yeah... it sucks,” Quinn interrupted with a yawn.
“Yeah.” I curled my legs underneath me as I sat down on the couch. “But I had an idea of how to fix it...”
“Wait until after the wedding, right?” Quinn prompted. “Isn’t that what you decided?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Well yes, but no.”
Quinn yawned again. “Get on with it, Rush. It’s too early for this shit.”
“We’ll just get married now.”
“Right now?” Quinn’s voice went up a couple of octaves.
“Right now... as in today.” I nodded enthusiastically even though she couldn’t see me.
Quinn laughed.
“What?” I demanded.
“I’m assuming you haven’t told Lawson this plan yet?”
Love like Yours Series (Box Set #1-4) Page 41