Lora laughed. “What? Does my brother talk about me to you guys like some sad loser?”
Mom laughed with her. “He’s mentioned you quite a few times. Would you like something to drink or anything?”
“Oh, no, thank you.” Lora waved her hands as kindly and dismissively as she could. “I’m only here for a few minutes, and then I have to finish packing.”
“Packing?” I asked, brows pulling together.
“Yeah. I’m leaving tomorrow.” She met my eyes. “Which is why I’m here.”
I looked back at Mom, who’d taken a few steps to the side. “It’ll only be a few minutes,” I told her.
“Yeah! Go ahead.”
I walked to the door, pulling it open and walking out. Lora trailed behind me, closing the door with her. She dug into the inside pocket of her jacket, pulling out an envelope and offering it to me. “Q told me to give this to you.”
I took it, spotting my name on it in his jagged script. “What does it say?”
“That, I don’t know, but he did tell me to let you know that he’s leaving tonight.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “Him too? Why tonight?”
She shrugged. “I guess he’s ready for a fresh start? Most of his things have been moved already. The new house is really nice. You’d love it.” Her smile was faint. “Look, Kandy. I’m only here to deliver his message, but I’m sure his letter explains more.” She took a step closer to me, looking me all over. “I know it’s scary. It’s scary as fuck being around a Cane, honestly. Our minds can be corrupt as fuck sometimes, and we have so many flaws, but one thing I can say is that when our hearts have been taken, there is no getting them back, and you have his heart. You’ll have it for the rest of your life.”
My vision blurred, but I looked away, blinking quickly to fan the tears away. “And he wants me to make a decision by tomorrow?”
“Doesn’t have to be tomorrow…but I think a fresh start would be good for both of you.” She leaned in and pressed her forehead to mine, then she grabbed my hand, stuffing something into my palm. She wrapped my fingers up around it. “If it feels like the right thing to do, do it. But if it feels wrong, stay. He’ll understand.”
She pulled back and stepped off the porch. I watched her walk to her car, waving once before jumping into it and riding off. When she was gone, I looked down at my hand. She’d stuffed a wad of cash into it. What the hell?
I looked at the white envelope in my other hand next. For some reason it felt heavier, like I could feel all the weight he’d been carrying in the single form of a letter.
Walking to the rocking chairs in the corner and sitting, I sucked in a sharp breath before ripping it open. My heart thundered in my chest, and my hands shook violently as I focused on the words.
Kandy,
I know this isn’t the best way to express myself. Showing up would have been so much easier, but I played each scenario over and over again in my head and knew there wouldn’t have been a way for me to see you without your parents interfering, or your father tossing my ass on the street. (By the way, I caved and called your mom to check in on you. She told me about the nightmares, and I’m so fucking sorry. God, I wish I was there to hold you.)
Forgive me, because I’ve been drinking tonight, and my guilt is really fucking me up. I have to let you know that I’m leaving tomorrow. My whole house was packed up days ago, my cars are being driven down, and the new house is waiting for me. The kitchen will still have a TV in it, and there is a pool at this one too. I know how much you loved the pool. There is a room upstairs that is just for you. I want to fill it with notebooks, pens, and books, and even a desk because I know you love reading and writing.
Look, I may be a dumb, drunk man right now, but I’m not afraid to tell you that I want you there with me. As a matter of fact, I’m begging you to come.
I plan on making a new start, but it won’t feel fresh without you. You’ve been on my mind constantly, Kandy. I haven’t been able to sleep because all I can remember is your blood on my hands, stained in my clothes, and even my bedroom floor. All I can think about is how bad I feel, and how you didn’t deserve what she did to you. I should have been the one to get hurt that day, not you. You did nothing wrong, and all of this happened because Karma knew what made me vulnerable, and you are it.
I know you are hurting. I know you are scared. I know I’ve fucked up your trust way too many times, and God knows I don’t deserve you, but if you come with me, things will be different. It’s selfish of me to even bother asking, but if there is a sliver of trust inside of you for me, I want you to dwell on it, and I want you to really think about the option of coming.
Tomorrow, Lora will be leaving and meeting me in Charlotte. She’s scheduled to leave at ten in the morning. If you feel in your heart that you can still be with me, then call her before that time and have her pick you up, or text her and ask for the address if you want to leave sooner. If you have already made up your mind and think it’s best to move on, then I understand that, too, and I will let you move on. I won’t push or budge. I’ll let you live a normal life—one without all of my fucked-up flaws and past mistakes, and sins coming to bite me in the ass, but I’m begging you right now to please, please think about it.
Whatever you decide, just know that I love you so much, and I would have regretted not letting you know that I am still here for you.
You are my girl. My world. My sweet, sweet Kandy. You mean everything to me, and there is nothing that will ever be able to change that. If walking away is what makes you happiest though, I get it—and I will respect your decision. Just know that I will never love another woman as much as I love you.
If I see you again soon, I’ll hug and kiss the hell out of you until you can’t stand it anymore, but if I don’t…maybe I’ll see you again some other day.
You have my heart,
Cane
I dropped the letter in my lap, sniffling hard. I swiped the back of my arm over my face, and then looked at the back of the second paper. Sure enough, Lora’s address was written there. There was something else inside the envelope, too. It was another address, this one for Charlotte. I assumed this was his new one.
A car door shut and I looked up, spotting Dad in the driveway, climbing out of his work truck. I stuffed the letter back into the envelope and then folded it, tucking it into the pocket of my hoodie.
“Hey, baby girl!” Dad bellowed. “You’re outside! That’s a first.” He came toward me, dropping a kiss on top of my head.
“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “Needed some fresh air.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” He looked toward the door. “Where’s your mom?”
“Inside. I think she’s getting dinner ready.”
“Good.” He rubbed his belly. “Starving.” He rubbed the top of my head, like he used to do when I was younger, then walked to the door. He smiled back at me once before going inside and shutting the door behind him. I stayed in the chair, watching cars drive through the neighborhood. After a while, I read over the letter again. And again. And another time. I read his letter a total of eight times, absorbing his words. His anguish. His guilt and regrets. The drunken script and how he stretched some of his r’s and e’s.
Before I knew it, dinner was ready, and I ate. I smiled at Dad’s corny work stories, and even shared dessert with Mom, who was surprised by all of it. She looked at me suspiciously, but it wouldn’t have been like her not to wonder what was going on. She knew when something was up with me, so when I went up to my room, and she came in several minutes later, I prepared myself for her questions.
“What did Lora stop by for?” she asked, sitting beside me.
I refused to lie to her. “She gave me a letter from Cane.”
“Oh?” She blinked twice. “What did it say?”
“Just…stuff. How he misses me. Also that he’s leaving tomorrow to move to Charlotte.”
“Oh.”
I looked down. She did the thing I di
d, running her thumbnail over her cuticle. “Are you thinking about going with him again?”
Sighing, I said, “I don’t know, honestly. Even if I wanted to, I’m too afraid.”
She laughed softly.
“What?” I asked, looking at her.
“Nothing—nothing. It’s just…well, that sounds familiar.”
“Familiar how?”
“Well, your father asked me to move here, to his hometown, right after I graduated. It was so sudden, and I had just finished law school, so of course I didn’t have a good job. Your Nana insisted that I shouldn’t do it, but of course I didn’t listen. Still, I was terrified. I mean, we were dead broke, and when we moved here, your dad had to work at this crappy restaurant at first, just to pay the bills. He was still in training to become a cop. We stayed in this horrible box-looking apartment on the other side of town. It was just awful.” She looked up, eyes shimmering. “But we were happy, and no one could tell us otherwise. We had each other, and to me that’s all that mattered. Not the piled up bills. Not what my mother was telling me. Just us, and eventually we proved everyone wrong.”
“That’s good.” I focused on my lap. “Cane mentioned in the letter that he called you.”
“He did. I updated him about your recovery, told him you’d been waking up in the middle of the night because of nightmares.”
“Did you tell him about what the doctor said?”
“No,” she responded quickly.
“Good.” I swallowed thickly. “I’d rather tell him myself…when I’m ready.”
She pressed her lips together and bobbed her head. She then leaned in to kiss my temple before wrapping an arm around me and holding me. “Think wisely, Kandy. I don’t want what happened last time to happen to you again.”
“I know,” I murmured, and honestly, it really wasn’t Mom I was worried about. It was Dad.
Last time I left, he refused to accept it. After what had happened, I was convinced that he was never, ever going to accept me leaving to be with Cane again, no matter how much I loved him and he loved me. I had to think wisely about this one. I loved Cane so, so much, but was he the right choice for me? Did I want to make the same mistake twice? What if the outcome was worse than last time?
I held my mother for a while, and when Dad called for her, I finally let go. She kissed my forehead before leaving, and when I heard her going down the stairs, I pulled the letter out again, reading it over and over.
I fell asleep with it clutched to my chest, and when I woke up at 4:00 a.m., my decision had been made.
Chapter Ten
CANE
I’d been eager all day, hoping that I’d receive a text from Lora saying she was on the way with Kandy, but knowing Lora, she wouldn’t have told me upfront. She liked having a surprise to throw at me, something to catch me off guard. It was well past ten, and I still hadn’t heard from her.
I sat in my new office on a teleconference, hardly listening to Mr. Tribble go on about how he wanted Tempt to sponsor one of Charlotte’s local events. I kept eyeing my cell phone while his dull voice droned in the background.
“I’m sorry, Tribble. Can I call you back tomorrow? I have an important call to make right now.”
“Oh, uh—yeah, sure, Mr. Cane. I’ll be looking forward to the call.”
I hung up and then snatched up my cell. One of the perks of my new office was that there was a door that led out to the rooftop. The roof wasn’t furnished yet. There was only a lounge chair out, one Cora had insisted I get since she knew I’d take the majority of my calls out there. From the roof, I could see most of the city. Cars whizzed by, and the people looked like bugs scattering about. Charlotte was a beautiful city and was growing by the year.
I dialed Lora, but of course she didn’t answer.
“Fuck,” I grumbled. I wasn’t in the mood for her games. I needed to know if Kandy was with her or not. I tried again, still no answer. Eventually, I was left with no choice but to go back to work, but I hardly got shit done. I was too damn distracted, so I decided to leave.
“Going home to work,” I grumbled to Cora on my way out of the office.
“Do you want me to reschedule the call with Mr. Val?” she asked.
“Please,” I responded, pushing the button for the elevator. I waited for it to come up, but noticed Cora was still looking at me. “Something on your mind, Mao?”
“Actually, yes.” Cora stood from her chair and sighed, fiddling with the pen in her hand. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you this, but I received a call yesterday morning.”
“From who?”
“A Mrs. Hugo. She said she was Kelly Hugo’s mother.”
That made me frown. “Her mother?” The elevator chimed but I ignored it, walking toward my assistant. “What did she want?”
“She wanted to schedule a sit-down meeting with you. I told her that you had moved locations, and she said she didn’t mind having to travel. I know there was a lot that went on with Miss Hugo, so I told her I would get to you when I could.”
“I don’t want to see her if Kelly will be with her.”
“She insisted that Kelly won’t be.”
I ran my fingers through my hair then planted a hand on my hip. “What the hell could she possibly want?” I muttered, not directly at Cora, but more so to myself. “I know this is about Kelly’s trial. She’s probably trying to get me to vouch for her, but fuck that.”
“What would you like me to tell her, sir?”
“Tell her I will see her tomorrow afternoon in my office at 4:00 p.m. sharp and no later.”
She bobbed her head, sitting down right away and writing it on a notepad. “Anything else?”
“Yeah. Cancel my call with Tribble. His event sounds like a complete waste of my time. He’s not even considering donating to a charity.”
“Will do, sir. And can I suggest something?” Cora called after me as I headed to the elevator again.
“What?”
“There’s this thing called relaxing. It’s a nice thing many people do when they need to relieve some stress.” She grinned. “Perhaps you should try it one day.”
I chuckled. “I think you’re just hinting at a day off. You want it, just ask for it.”
She laughed. “Not at all, sir. Just thought it might help boost your spirits. Have a great afternoon.”
The elevator doors opened. “Later, Cora.”
When the doors closed, my smile collapsed. I headed for the parking deck and drove home. Cora had no idea how much I wanted to relax, but with Kelly’s case still lingering in the background and Lora not answering the goddamn phone, it was impossible. Ever since Kandy told me she needed some space from me, I haven’t been able to chill. I’ve been on edge for weeks, all because I needed my fix of her. At this point, I’d have taken anything.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
The feeling of her chest pressed against mine.
Her soft skin beneath my palm.
Anything.
I got home, jumped into the shower, and changed into gray sweats. As I dried my hair with a towel, I heard a car door slam shut. Walking to the window, I peered out of it, spotting Lora’s car in the driveway. I jogged down the stairs before she could get to the door.
“Why didn’t you answer your fucking phone?” I snapped when the door was open, just as she’d walked up the stoop.
Lora looked me in the eyes, and for once they weren’t playful and she didn’t look like she was ready to spew some of her sarcastic jeers. I looked around her, but only saw Mama at the trunk, taking out her bags.
“Where is she?” I asked, voice hoarse.
Lora sighed. “I waited two more hours. She didn’t show. I’m sorry, Q.”
I worked hard to swallow, fighting the wave of emotion threatening to take over me. “No, it’s fine. Not your fault.” I stepped around her, going out to help Mama carry her bags inside.
“This place is beautiful,” Mama breathed, taking in the decor once sh
e’d stepped inside.
“Thanks, Mama. How about you go choose which room you want. I’ll bring your bags.”
Mama smiled and went straight to it. When she was out of the picture, I walked outside, meeting Lora at the trunk.
“Did you say something to her that would make her not want to come?” I demanded.
“What?” The skin around her nose scrunched up as she took out a tote bag. “Why the hell would I do that?”
“Because I know you, and you always try to scare people off.”
“Well, newsflash, asshole. Kandy isn’t afraid of me. I did what you said and delivered your fucking letter. I told her to call me if she needed anything, and that was it.”
“Are you sure that was it? Did she ask any questions?”
“She asked if she had to decide by today. I told her no.”
I breathed hard through my nostrils, pinching the bridge of my nose. “For fuck’s sake.”
“Q, chill the fuck out, all right? I can relate to Kandy a lot. She has to think about it, but when it’s clear to her, she’ll let you know what she decides to do, whether she comes or not. She’ll need that closure.” She slapped me on the shoulder. “She won’t leave your dick hanging. So pull your shit together and get me some fucking food. I’m starving.”
She went inside, slugging her backpack over her shoulder. Huffing, I took the rest of the bags out and slammed the trunk, going inside too.
I should have known she wouldn’t come. I don’t even know what I was thinking. She was safer back at home than she was with me, honestly. I just wanted her so damn much that I was blinded by my own selfishness.
Maybe she realized I didn’t deserve her after all.
Chapter Eleven
KANDY
It was seven in the morning, the earliest I had been up in a while. Cane’s letter was on my desk, and my heart was beating heavily in my chest.
A suitcase was on my bed, packed with enough clothes to last me for a month. I stared at it, contemplating, for a really long time. I didn’t realize how much time had passed as I paced my room, eyeing the letter, eyeing the suitcase, until a knock sounded.
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