by Amie Denman
He wouldn’t fit easily. Or would he? Luke had been part of her own family growing up, even though they’d lost touch for the past two years. Maybe it could be amicable and friendly, just like old times. She brushed her hair, swiped on some lip gloss, and resolved to go downstairs where she would face the mess she’d made with her secrets. Her shoulders felt lighter already. No more secrets.
She opened her cabin door and found Luke standing in the hallway, fist raised as if to knock. They stared at each other in shock and then Luke found his voice first.
“We’ll get married.”
Autumn coughed. “What?” she sputtered.
“You can choose the date,” he said.
Autumn shook her head, shock radiating down every nerve in her body. Marry Luke? “I can’t marry you.”
“You’re the mother of my child, and I won’t have him growing up without a father.”
If there was a prize for worst marriage proposal on the planet, this would be a contender.
He wanted to marry her. Autumn took a moment to process that thought. Mrs. Luke Monroe, wife of the automotive tycoon who once got caught eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon in her mother’s kitchen. Marry Luke who had taught her to drive a standard transmission after her own brother got exasperated and gave up at the end of the street? Marry Luke who owned a yacht and commanded millions of dollars and held dozens—hundreds?—of patents that ensured him money and power?
Marry Luke who stood before her, not as a billionaire, but as a man with a swollen nose and the beginning of a black eye courtesy of his best friend?
Marry Luke, the father of her child?
“I can’t marry you,” she said.
“Yes, you can.”
“No. You don’t want to marry me,” she countered.
“I’m asking, aren’t I?”
She crossed her arms. “No, you’re not. You’re telling me what I’m going to do. And there’s something important you need to understand. I’m Carter’s mother and I’ve done one hell of a good job taking care of him without you. You’re his father and we have a lot to figure out, but trying to boss me around is absolutely not your opening move as a dad.”
She shut the door and locked it. Her heart pounded in her ears as she waited for him to knock, say something, or walk away. After a moment, he knocked. She debated opening the door, but she was going to have to face him and their problem. There was no hiding now that the truth was out.
“You are an excellent mother,” he said through the six-inch gap. “Carter is wonderful, and I want to be part of his life.”
She opened the door another two inches. “And mine?” If he would only say the words she wanted to hear. After the night they’d spent together in which endearments had passed between them in the long hours between darkness and dawn—wasn’t there more between them than a child?
“Of course. You’re his mother.”
She swallowed. “You don’t have to marry me to be part of his life. You have rights, legal ones, as I’m sure you know.”
“But I…” he paused and pressed a hand to his forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut, and Autumn thought he was either going to pass out from the punch he’d taken or declare his love for her. “I need to think,” he finally said and then he turned and walked down the hallway.
Chapter Twelve
“She says she won’t marry me,” Luke told Grady over a cold drink. He’d used the first sip to wash down some painkillers, and now he wanted to make the beverage last. Grady had promised him only one drink, had said he’d listen for that long.
“Good for her,” Grady said, shrugging.
If Luke had hoped for sympathy from his oldest and best friend, it wasn’t happening.
Grady put down his glass and leaned forward, both elbows on the table. “How the hell couldn’t you know or have any idea about your son?”
Luke held up a hand. “Wait a minute. First of all, I didn’t know Autumn had a baby. Yes, I’ve been in Europe, but someone in your family could have mentioned it to me. I got a Christmas card and at least two birthday cards from your parents since Carter was born.”
“It’s not the kind of thing you put in a Christmas card,” Grady said. “By the way, we have a beautiful grandson but our daughter won’t tell us who the father is because he was a one-night stand she says she wants nothing to do with.”
“Is that what she really said?” Luke asked.
Grady nodded. “She’s been Fort Knox. Refused to come anywhere close to a conversation about it, even with Mom. I’m assuming you’re to blame for that, somehow.”
Luke rubbed his eyes. “I must be, but I don’t know how. She never contacted me after that night, not a call, text, nothing. Why do you think she didn’t?”
Grady snorted. “You tell me. I always thought she had a…thing for you. Maybe you fell short of her expectations.”
Luke turned and stared at the blue Aegean. He didn’t blame his best friend for being angry. Not only had everyone found out in a public and messy way about his night with Autumn and the resulting child, but it was also Grady’s own wedding cruise. It was supposed to be his time for complete bliss, and now it was a family drama that was reality-television material.
“It was only a few months after Vanessa died,” he said quietly, needing to run through it aloud, wanting to share it at last with Grady. “I didn’t know up from down for a long time. Losing Vanessa was one thing, but the anger from her family…the blame and the investigation, it all made me retreat into a hole where I didn’t know if it was daylight or darkness.”
“I remember,” Grady said, sounding much more sympathetic.
“Autumn came over one night, brought me dinner, and we started talking. She’s a good listener.” Luke caught Grady’s eye and tried to force a smile. There were a lot of good things about Autumn, things he’d always liked and loved as a family friend. The few times they’d moved beyond family-friend mode had shown him there was a lot more to like…and love.
But she had kept Carter from him. Hadn’t cared about him or trusted him enough to share with him the most important news of his life. He had a right to be angry and hurt.
“I told her things that I’d kept bottled up inside and hadn’t told anyone. Not even you,” Luke said. “I’m sorry about that. You would have listened and tried to understand, but I chose Autumn to unload on instead.”
“What things?”
Luke blew out a breath and twisted his iced tea glass in its little ring of condensation on the glass table. “Things about me and Vanessa, the truth about our marriage. That it was more a…convenience than a love match.”
Grady nodded. “I wondered about that.”
“And Vanessa was pregnant when she died,” Luke said, finally telling his best friend what he should have years ago. “We’d just found out days before and hadn’t told anyone. There didn’t seem to be a point in telling anyone after she…”
“I’m sorry,” Grady said. “Shit, I had no idea. But you told Autumn, and…I can see now why she might have not wanted to tell you about the baby.”
They sat in silence for a moment, and Luke felt deflated but somehow lighter by having the whole truth laid out for everyone to see.
“Sorry,” Grady repeated.
“Not your fault.”
“I should have realized there was something more to your wife’s death, though, even if you were too stubborn to tell me. Just like I should have realized who Carter’s dad was even if Autumn was too stubborn to reveal it. Hell, maybe you two are perfect for each other.”
Luke stared at his drink. “I was serious when I asked Autumn to marry me. You know how much I wanted a dad when I was a kid. I hardly knew him when he died, but I used to wish that if he was alive he would be just like your dad.” A painful lump formed in his throat, but he had to push on and say the words. “Your family has been so good to me almost all my life, and now look at the mess I made because I took advantage of Autumn’s friendship on a lonely
night.” He waited a beat, and then said what he really needed to. “I’m sorry.”
Grady finished his glass of iced tea and stood. “I wouldn’t call my nephew a mess. He’s the sweetest kid on earth and everyone in my family would do anything for him and for my sister. His happiness and hers are what matter most to us.”
“Me, too,” Luke said. “I love your sister.”
Grady sat down again. “Did you tell her that?”
Luke shook his head.
“So your proposal was a pathetic excuse for one?”
Luke glanced up and saw a hint of a smile on his friend’s face. He reviewed in his mind the words he’d used when he informed Autumn she would marry him. No matter how upset and shocked he’d been to discover he had a walking, talking child, his anger at Autumn was misplaced. She’d tried to protect him from guilt and preserve his friendship with her brother, but she’d been wrong to think he couldn’t handle the news and wouldn’t give up everything to be a good father.
They’d both made mistakes, but there was a very good way to repair the damage.
“Do you think your parents will ever forgive me?” Luke asked.
Grady cocked his head. “I think they’re surprised and confused right now. Honestly, I think they don’t see the big deal and don’t understand why Autumn was afraid to tell everyone you were the father. I mean, you practically grew up under their roof so it’s weird in that way, but it’s also not a stretch to see you as a member of the family which you are now either way.”
Luke nodded. “We’ll dock outside Athens this evening, so I have a lot of thinking to do between now and then.” Were a few hours long enough to persuade Autumn he wanted to be a family with her and Carter? He needed to rest his aching head and needed time to think.
“Good luck,” Grady said, rising again. “I don’t know if anyone will take you seriously with that ugly shiner you’ve got, but you can try.”
****
Autumn refreshed the sunscreen on Carter’s face, arms, and legs as he splashed in the pool on the sunny deck. It was the last afternoon on board, and when the Paige Ellen docked outside Athens that evening, Autumn would depart with her parents to catch an overnight flight back to New York and then on to Detroit. She’d packed almost everything and her bags were waiting in her stateroom.
“I’m still thinking about skipping grad school and hanging out in marinas where millionaires keep their boats,” Julie said. “I could either force one to fall in love with me or fill out an application to be a crew member. Either one would be better than getting a master’s degree I’m probably never going to be able to pay back the loans on.”
Her sister Jessica splashed her. “You’re always acting like you’re the smart one in the family,” Jessica said. She reached for Carter and lowered him into a floating ring next to her in the water.
“You’re both smart,” Autumn said. “And thanks for keeping me company this afternoon. Today hasn’t exactly gone as I planned.”
“Why not?” Julie asked with a goofy grin.
Jessica sucked in both her lips, but Autumn gave a short laugh. “I know I made a mess of everything. I had good intentions at first and good reasons, but the longer things have gone on, I should have realized…well, I don’t know where we go from here.” Autumn had always thought of herself as a person who put others first, and the agony of realizing she’d failed to do that with Luke—despite her good intentions—made her heart feel leaden. As a mother, she wanted to make every decision the right one for her son, but had she failed Carter from the beginning?
“I’m sure it’s not too late to make a fresh start and fix—” Jessica began.
Autumn shook her head. “It’s definitely too late for me and Luke to rescue our friendship. He’s angry and he feels betrayed, but he still wants to do what he thinks is the right thing. You should have seen his face when he informed me I would marry him as if he was acquiring my company in a business deal.”
“He might come around.”
“No,” Autumn said quietly. “I hurt him so deeply without intending to. But I should have known, should have thought about what it was like for him to grow up without his dad…” It was the thing that troubled her the most. She’d thought Luke would feel guilty for sleeping with her right after his wife’s death, but she should have realized he’d feel worse missing out on his son’s life.
“What will you do?” Julie asked.
“I’ll let Carter have the dad he deserves. It’s not too late for him. When I get home, I’ll find a lawyer and draw up some kind of agreement that includes Luke. It’s what I should have done in the first place.”
She heard a noise behind her and turned. Luke stood just inside the open glass door that led into a lounge area, and Autumn realized he’d probably heard her entire conversation with her cousins who all had their backs to the door.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked.
Autumn’s first inclination was to say no. There was nothing more to say. But she felt bad about the darkening circle around his eye and the defeated hunch of his shoulders. There were only hours left on the cruise that had been an absolute dream up until that morning. She owed him a few minutes, for their child’s sake if for nothing else.
“Go ahead,” Jessica said. “We’ll watch Carter.”
“Thanks,” Autumn said. She tucked the sunscreen back into her bag and left it with her cousins.
“Inside,” Luke pointed into the lounge, “or out front on deck?”
Autumn hesitated a moment. “If we go inside, I’ll be tempted to challenge you to finish our game of pool,” she said. She knew it was risky trying to reach friendly and familiar ground with him, but it was also safer. What else did they have right now? The future was so unknown and rocky. “And it wouldn’t be fair since I’m pretty sure you only have one functioning eye right now.”
Luke didn’t smile, but he did gesture toward the walkway around the yacht. Autumn had strolled all over his boat in the past week, except for the private suites and crew quarters, and she led the way toward the front of the boat.
“I see Athens,” she said, resting an elbow on the railing. She wanted to keep her focus on the view, the horizon, the shoreline with the city of Athens and the harbors. But she owed Luke her attention.
“We’ll be there soon,” he said. “So I have to get right down to business.”
Business. Autumn hoped he wasn’t going to suggest a convenient wedding that would make their family a nice practical unit. They all deserved more than that, even though she’d entertained fleeting thoughts of marrying him in the several hours since his abrupt proposal. It would be nice to let her guard down sometimes and have someone else help with Carter, pick up dinner, place a hand on Carter’s forehead to feel for a fever in the night. It would be nice for Carter to have two hands to hold when they went to the park. It would be nice for her to have someone across the dinner table and in her bed. Maybe the proposal wasn’t so unthinkable…
“I’d like to take back my marriage proposal from earlier today,” he said. “Even though I realize there is no chance you were actually considering it.”
“Oh,” she said.
“It was stupid of me to think there was an easy solution to our…situation,” he said. “A marriage would have to be built on more than just having a child together.”
Autumn leaned on the railing and let the fresh sea air blow over her face and toss her hair behind her. Luke wanted to talk to her, and she resolved to keep her mouth closed and listen. He leaned on the railing next to her, his elbow brushing hers. It was strangely…comfortable. Familiar.
“I’ve known you all your life,” he said. “I remember meeting your brother in first grade and going to your house where you were in a bassinet. Brand new and tiny. I remember thinking I would never have a baby sister or brother because my dad was dead.”
Autumn reached a hand over and placed it on his. “Heavy thoughts for a first grader.”
“I hated admitting it
, but as much as I loved your family, I was jealous, too. My mom and my aunt worked all the time. I understand why now, and I think I did at the time, too. But I wanted the home atmosphere you had. Dinner table conversation, your mom and dad watching the news in the living room while Grady and I played video games downstairs and you wandered in and annoyed us.”
“I wanted a turn,” Autumn said.
“We usually let the loser play you.” Luke looked over and the hint of a grin there reminded her of the Luke she’d known all her life. They stood together in silence, and then he withdrew his hand from under hers and turned to face her. “I wish you’d told me as soon as you found out you were pregnant.”
Regret, sharp as knives, rushed through Autumn and she felt her face heat and eyes sting.
Luke took both her hands. “I would have been there for you. And for my son.”
She nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.
“You didn’t have to go through all that alone. And you certainly didn’t have to protect what you thought were my delicate feelings. Yes, I regretted taking advantage of your friendship and sleeping with you that night, not long after Vanessa died. I felt like crap about it for months. It’s part of the reason I went to Europe and focused on my businesses there where I wouldn’t risk running into you, and I wouldn’t have to face your brother or your parents. I swear, if your mom had invited me over for pot roast, I wouldn’t have been able to eat at their table.”
“I never wanted to alienate you. That’s why I kept it a secret. I didn’t want to change your relationship with my family, ruin your friendship with my brother…”
“But having Carter does change everything,” Luke said. He drew a long breath and let it out. “What if it changes everything in a good way?”
Autumn pointed at the black eye turning uglier by the hour, but Luke shook his head and raised her fingers to his lips. “Grady had to do that, and I don’t blame him. I didn’t even duck even though I had half a second to know it was coming. I love your family, Autumn, and I just had a long conversation with both your parents.”